random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Gentlebastard]

I love that this thread got featured, the autism is MAGNIFICENT

I feel like by reading this article I am playing into someone’s fetish against my will

He’s gotta be trolling us.

There is no way his takes are that bad and shortsighted

I had my "I recognize that gay blowjob" moment.

 

[Michael Jacks0n]

From making a joke about blowjobs to mass financial fraud in less than 3 months. Hell of a speedrun.

I converted my entire portfolio to cocksuckercoin. What happened???

 

[BirdUp]

The black was in him all along.

 

[Dr. Butt]

It’s too early to be googling knoxvilles penis injury but I had to know the answer

Like who cares if a fucking Squirrel is friends with Chris Chan?

turn a new leaf, sober up, find Jesus, fly a rainbow flag, and shine a niggers shoes

People are people. Even the black ones and Russians.

 

[TheRetardKing]

The question I want to ask if they make wood chippers wheelchair accessible.

 

[FedPostalService]

‘How dare jew!’

Coming to a porn site soon.

 

[General Emílio Médici]

Firstly: Kiwifarms got this info first - every screenshot on tweeter I have seen has these replies with thousands of retweets and views and bullshit. "news happens on X" - no niggers + elon musk, news happens here.

 

[Pedophobe]

Could the media be *gasp* lying?!

Like who cares if a fucking Squirrel is friends with Chris Chan? Dude is weirdly angry over that mess.

edit: FUCK ninja'd. Whatever, I'm still proud of myself.

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

This isn't true, this one time I tried to barbecue cookies and now I'm a salmacian

 

[Mourning_Cloak]

can we just lobby the government to euthanize nick? like some retarded dog. it seems like he cant even function i bet he pisses and shits himself at this point

 

[The Noise]

Sir, this is the roblox erotic roleplaying thread.

 

[Blackhole]

"I'm on consciousness level 7, I can see value-systems over time, like the Muslims' values made sense for their time"

There's nothing more white than to be a nigger. A big stinky gorilla nigger; that's what it means to be a white man.

Assad is hiding in my skibity toilet

 

[demicolon]

The Daily Mail reported on how firefighters in Austria tackled a flaming vibrator found at the side of the road.

And then Stephen Hawking stood up and applauded.

 

[glass_houses]

Where were all these people when Neely was living on the streets homeless for 20 years?

Where were all these people when Neely was getting hooked on meth and crack, robbing and assaulting people?

Where were all these people when the NY DA's Office charged him 43 times and he spent years in jail?

oh wait...Jordan Neely was of no use to any of these people alive, the didn't give one single wet shit about him. It's only his death they can profit from so now they care about him.

Fucking vultures..true human scum.

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

On the same day:

Luigi "CEO Punisher" Mangione is arrested after some wage slaves snitches.

Daniel "Schizo Nigger Annihilator" Penny is fully acquitted.

For every Yin there is a Yang.

 

[DickMain]

"I have to admitt I have a very small dick in comparision to gay porn I find in web
I know - its shocking but yes this is the truth"
-via chat

 

[Spud]

Sorry I'm late. I was in the lolicon defenders thread

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

That’s inarguably how it ended up, but I am sure there was a period of rose tinted optimism on Penny’s part.

A vision of bright clear Colorado skies, rainbows in the horizon, happy alpaca lambs gamboling, Kevvie feeding a rejected one with a bottle looking maternal, manly doods with knitting needles making jumpers and insoles, Jen making delightful folksy farm food of his own recipes, persecuted transgenders showing up and being cured of all problems the instant they set foot on the land, capitalist cis Nazi chuds coming to the gate begging to be allowed a slice of the vast alpaca fortunes only for Penny to tap his pistol so they flee.

Then being named Woman of the Decade, not just Transwoman, but Woman of the Decade.

JK Rowling would present the award and then hand over rights to the Harry Potter everything and approve Penny’s re-write of Hogwarts being an alpaca ranch and Harry being a trans man, JK grudgingly admitting that she was 100% wrong.

Then he woke up in a pool of bushmills vomit, between two snoozing farting men without dicks, in sheets which have never been washed, to go and count how many alpacas died in the night, then dig a hole before Kevvie wakes up and demands more tropical punch.

if some Islamists came to my village and said that I would totally behead my teacher no one actually likes the teachers behead your teachers for Allah

I have to be a masochist for always opening this shit. I know it’s something I can live without seeing yet I’m curious and open it every fucking time.

 

[oldTireWater]

back surgery niggers

 

[The Hoh Rainforest]

The dysphoric whispering of expectant asshole's transphobic bigot donor womb.