random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[indomitable snowman]

>Christopher Charles "Chris" Cantwell​

MORE LIKE CHRIS “CHUCK’S FUCK AND SUCK” CANTWELL (FORMERLY STRAIGHT).

Sometimes when I have a biiiiig meal forcing food down until I’m sooooo full and my belly is soooo round I have to take a nap because my blood pressure spikes.

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

I don't speak Spanish because it is the invader's language.

I want to shitpost back at you but I have no idea what you are trying to say. Help a troll out, fren.

Nintendo has a quasi religious following of manchildren that will worship the ground nintendo execs shit on, because pokemon black and white was the only reprieve they had from when their alcoholic father used to beat them using a leather belt.

Oh i was more thinking NIGGERS

Haha sorry I'm new to the site and haven't had the chance to say it yet

Personally I think you, everyone here, and everyone in the entertainment industry is retarded and unqualified to commentate on big, divisive subjects because they're all neanderthals. That they (and we) are allowed to do so anyway shows just how beautiful the first amendment is.

Dear feature tourists: do not shit up this thread. Also, NIGGER. There, I said it for you.

 

[Niggolash]

Back from my ban because I angered the cheese jew.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

In Poland we have a saying that roughly translates "once into your ass ain't gay and after 4 times it vanishes". Which means one full anal sex doesn't count as gay and after 4 anal sexes anal sex count resets itself to 0.

I’m so fucking glad that Hitler invaded you subhumans

 

[AnOminous]

My gay porn collection is only about 700gb thank you very much

 

[Tablet County]

Either time travel will never be invented, or people in the future really hate Steven Hawking

 

[Gog & Magog]

I went to see the movie Crash hoping to come out of it a less racist person. Now I can only get an erection from seeing horrific car accidents.

 

[CansOfCant]

I am so glad faggot and retard have returned to the wild after years of being cooped up.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

Books that aren't fantasy or sci fi are not troony, nobody is going to troon out from reading Catch-22.

Like for example I tell people who watch anime and play nintendo games that they're gay, but that's not because it's morally wrong to do those things; it's just that if you do it's fruity and probably means you're a soy person or some sort of transexual, and you should be made aware of that.

 

[Mound Dweller]

I think turning Warwick Davis into a cow insemination device would be very funny. He's the size of a turkey baster so he'd be perfect. He even self cleans after you're done with him.

 

[CaddestSlown]

The thread is suddenly trash again. Please re-ban the shit stains.

I've barely posted, so you fuckers can't blame me again.

We can't all be fags obsessed with bodily fluids.

PRECIOUS BODILY FLUIDS!

 

[Slideshow Bill]

YOU BUFFOON! THIS IS THE Q&A BOARD AND THIS IS NOT A QUESTION. IMBECILE! REPORTED!

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

And yes, sometimes it happens for gross reasons as well. This is Japan after all.

Fun Fact: The most comfortable way to play Virtual Boy was to lay back on your bed and put the headset on your face, with the legs poking into your chest. The legs are removable, but you need them poking into you to stabilize it.

 

[Meat Target]

How does an F150 doing 80mph approaching a red light feel? Depends who is in my way.

 

[Gentlebastard]

I am impressed by his unshakable commitment to having the gayest possible hairstyle at all times.

It’s worth a read. I always had a soft spot for the psycho bitch.

(fat fetish avatar included for effect)

And the most romantic aspect of any loving, stable relationships: the data sheet!

Please feel free to go out and start fighting people at your earliest convenience. No, tweeting about fighting does not count as fighting.

Before my kids ever get the internet they are learning about all my favorite lolcows and what happens when you act like a retard on the internet

“I can’t support my family because the main employer in my town was a factory that was relocated overseas” is not the same as “I can’t pay the rent because I spent all my neetbux on femboy porn.”

I miss the days when he was just a fat insecure beta bitch puffing his chest out on the Internet to make up for being the runt nobody wanted.
This groundhog day shit is just sad.

It's the type of shit we used to do to people locked in asylums to see just how badly we can break the human mind, and he does it voluntarily.

 

[Uh Oh Stinky]

If she understood female anatomy then she wouldn't think she has a stomach penis.

Normally, I would say im surprised these people are still alive, but I've been to a Walmart.

she looks like fucking humpty dumpty smoked weed and moved to brooklyn
a literal fat baby that stumbled out of the house

lol @ her including crunchwraps and Baja Blast in her list of interests along with "glorifying obesity." you really can't make this shit up.

FFG could rip Salah's arms clean off after a big blunt rip.

Idk even though she’s like half octopus I still think she’s still more human shaped than Amber

View attachment 7926925

PINK POTTY HOLE
I’M GONNA FUCK YOU IN YOUR PINK POTTY HOLE

He's looking more and more like Eugenia Cooney, and she's looking more and more like Chris Chan if he ate Chantal.

 

[Meat Target]

If you're dating a woman with a flat dirtbox, expect some ruined evenings ahead.

 

[Tablet County]

Consider Sam's ego, his artificially boosted testosterone and his inability to construct a nest.

Like a moth to a flame or some freakish abiogenesis a naturally occurring wigger spawns into the Sam Hyde thread.

Essentially you rambled on to use every possible argument to justify wanting to fuck 16 year old's.

Sex-torsion and it twists your cock into a wrought iron fireplace poker.

 

[Clotso Coof]

Whoa, a business catering to and run by a community known for being histrionic, spiteful, lawsuit-happy degenerates is being challenged by a histrionic, spiteful, lawsuit-happy degenerate?

You know they'd fire anyone who actually did enforce them when the real policy is give in immediately to any screaming beaner fatty in a gimp chair.

They need a "You Need to Be THIS Identifiably Human to Ride This Ride" sign with a picture of a normal human being of normal height and weight, standing up on two legs.

 

[Brap God]

I'M A VIRGIN, WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?