random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Gentlebastard]

I like exactly zero people or organizations in this article. Impressive.

Guys, I'm starting to think there are no actually funny political cartoons...

If every time I clapped an advertiser died, my hands would be broken bloody stumps.

Everyday I wake up and realize I still don't live in an episode of South Park, but reality and that really hurts.

You know I once had lunch at Windows of the World in 1999 so I'm practically a 9/11 victim!

Everything about her life makes me regret our hominid ancestors' shrunken masticatory muscles.

I wish I could suck all knowledge of her and tangentially related concepts out of my brain with a crazy straw.

I could not possibly have picked a better time to stop lurking and log on to Kiwi Farms ( a website ).

"Lo, thine existence, like a fleeting shadow, hath already ceased—
For in thy dark pursuit, thou art doomed to a life of chains.
Thou art but a specter, stalking in the night,
And prison's cold embrace awaits thee, fool.
Rejoice, then, for thy freedom hath long since flown."

Whatever was supposed to happen, it apparently did get canceled. Sadface! We were all looking forward to making fun of whatever it was.

There needs to be rules about this. There have to be pumps, and the dudes have to nut, otherwise it doesn't count. I don't want half-assing whores devaluing gangbangs.

Crying to get your own way is super-tough and manly.

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

I mean his brain is missing so he actually got it pretty bad.

 

[Rick Nekieta]

Everyone is a crypto-jew if you're schizophrenic enough

 

[REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!]

She looks like Elon Musk in drag

 

[Meat Target]

View attachment 6868686
Xitter

Rekieta:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
You lost your girl
And tasted man goo

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

"Too many people on Kiwifarms hate pedophiles and it makes the pedophiles uncomfortable and not want to post" might be one of the most glowing reviews the site has ever gotten.

 

[Imam Shamil]

 

[Doxmatix]

I listen to a lot of podcasts as I do stuff and I haven't once encountered one that peruses fast food menus for 35 percent of the runtime or fucks with tech settings for the whole episode or rocks back and forth doing Q&A for 45 minutes

That look on his face like he's Watson trying to follow Holmes' train of logic, but it's just a valedictorian determining if the ham sandwich has a flavorful flavor or if it's more robust-style.

He is legitimately horrible at everything he does.

Except for being a faggot. He’s incredible at that.

DiCaprio is tr*fficking children and organ h*rvesting from his lime green truck

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Hence men will exterminate women for their fuck robots and artificial wombs..

You sickos want us to breed so you have more little girls to RAPE.

Maybe if you weren't an ugly halfbreed of a hippo and a harpy, Tyrone would be your baby daddy. Hairy, fat, ugly, and argumentative? Who wants that? Maybe a jeet if you clothe yourself in the aphrodisiacal odours of cow manure.

Your weak, emotion addled brain doesn't even reminesce about Rome once a day.

Incest would befoul my aryan genetics.

If there was CP on the other side of achieving nuclear fusion, would we have limitless energy by now?

My entire value system:

View attachment 6869852

 

[Dr. Butt]

Also I know some of you lurk here so hello r/4tran YWNBAW.

 

[Brain Power]

I just want you to know that my browser glitched the fuck out when I tried to open the video and tweet link. Your post is cursed af. Please consult an exorcist.

 

[Dr. Butt]

You go: "I can hunt. I can hunt. I can kill a gazelle with my bare hands right now—I'll kill a dog; I'll kill anything; I've got the sauce. I've still got the sauce."

 

[LifeAlert]

The last video of the compilation sounds like Jack was either huffing amyl nitrate (deepens the voice), or, Jack is cheating on Tammy with a guy who just got his dick sucked by Jack

 

[Pokemanifsmokeweed]

please stop laying this bullshit chomo jacket on me. it will only hurt you in the long run, mainly because i took a vow of celibacy not long after my encounter with Sabrina.

@Miss Tommie Jayne Wasserberg

 

[Dr. Butt]

What no vibrating buttplugs now?
Should have turned up in Clown make up.

 

[Big Nasty]

He will build up cum stocks and unleash his gay nigger fury over the next person who denies him the booty.

psychopathic billionaire tech moguls who all look like Limburger from Biker Mice from Mars who decided that if they can't get a woman not repulsed by them, they're gonna be the woman

Diarrheaboo.

4 buck teenage date rape in a can.

 

[Dead Lion]

His Ferret Auschwitz is excused, he's just trying to find his muse.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I actually love my wife tho she's not covering up any homo urges or my caretaker.

 

[Maldavius Figtree]

I prayed for them to burn in Hell, so God sent me a house fire in L.A.

I hate to tell you this buddy but the public perception of pirates has been homosexual for like 30 years

I wish my penis was powerful enough to take down the Kiwi Farms.

I would not let him smash my fart box if I was a 16 year old attention starved school girl

Dragonsnow only disliked Roblox Transfur games due to not being credited

ban from Furaffinity for "fetal pornography"

 

[Hitman One]

This sounds like the beginning of a sexual assault charge.