random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Tablet County]

I don't think that the words "pre-cum leaking from my chastity cage" fall under the description of "light crude humor". Or maybe I'm just a killjoy, who knows

Your honor, he is innocent but he defended himself in a faggy way,

You're clearly a dogfucking pervert in your spare time, but I agree with you on this.

 

[Hooked on phobics]

Im not fat, virgin, balding, mexican

The only bad people here is that fatass Blob and you evil kiwis as well as anybody else who has ever made my life difficult for me

 

[Gog & Magog]

Suffering is not ennobling. If it were, prisons would be epicenters of grace.

-Hussein Ibish

 

[Thé au lait]

They'll instead call you "weird" for saying nigger, which is probably the gayest way to handle being called a nigger.

How the fuck was this not in here already?

 

[cybertoaster]

is known to have an autistic meltdown if he sees porn of Bunnie Rabbot with a vagina

 

[Miriam Margoyles]

Trump won the erection

 

[stupid frog]

Why did I click the links? I think in a previous life I was a cat and my curiosity killed me.

 

[DickMain]

He's xeeting again.

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

Here's another post that made me laugh.

I’m barely willing to reveal my location within 200 miles while people are like yeah I lost my virginity to my cousin who was ten years older, yeah I have super AIDS and shit in a bag now, please call 911 because I’m 600 pounds and can’t move. At least it’s funny.

 

[BirdUp]

This is the only thread I've ever read where I end up repeatedly yelling "WHO IS THIS FAGGOT" at my monitor.

It's the kind of thing I would do if I was a bit more autistic.

The replies to Crowley's Twitter posts about this are like "This makes my skin crawl. It is so unsettling to know that such a creepy man would live out his sick, deranged fantasies in public like this. You will never be a real schoolboy."

Then you look at who's saying it and they're like "My pronouns are she/her and trans women are real women!"

 

[BirdUp]

So what did we learn, everyone?

Zoomers and Gen Alpha are fucking retarded.

Smartschoolboy9 is my favorite pedophile, I think.

Adolf Hitler please kill this nigger now

 

[Meat Target]

I'd like to announce that I am completely naked every time I post on kiwifarms. Have fun with that knowledge.

 

[DickMain]

Call me a dirty furfag but I've seen actually good furry drawings of anthros dressed as SS officers.

"You are banned for having '88' in your name, an obvious Nazi reference. Never unban this scumbag."
"But I was born in 1988, it has nothing to do with Nazis!"
"Nice try, fascist!"

"You can masturbate to Nazi dogs raping each other, but don't you DARE have the number '88' in your name, not even on accident!"

 

[JoseRaulChupacabra]

I was just pretending to be a necrophile

 

[Tablet County]

And no, I am not being homphobic, or whatever buzzword twitter uses. I am something they hate even more, a capitalist.

imagine a little Jew that isn't Abigail Shapiro stealing your vital life force every time you mindlessly goon like a monkey

imagine you’re a father and your little boy likes sharks and you wanna get him a stuffed shark and all of a sudden people start calling your son a troon.
Or even if you get one for your fuckin dog to chew on, they start saying you have a troon dog.

It's time to grow as a person and realize "Lightbulb Headed Dyke Mumble Hour Episode 76" and "Building the World's Biggest Fidget Cube" is the good content actually.

The amount of time and energy people have spent trying to get guys to not put their dick into someone is astounding.

 

[Gentlebastard]

"The women in Afghanistan should be grateful that they don't experience real suffering like being exposed to an offensive t shirt slogan on a first class flight."

Another crack in the Be Kind bullshit dam detected. Leaking furiously, from all the built up pressure behind it. A beautiful thing to see.

See its shit like this that makes me think we're living in a simulation.

"Hello neighbor child, I am required by law to inform you that I am a registered member of the SFWA."

I have one friend who doesn't like getting gifts but he's also a crazed libertarian so I just buy him silver ingots

Everytime a troon gets misgendered an angel grows wings

 

[DumbDude43]

Mikołaj Rekieta to ceniony polski patriota.

 

[fitty tucker]

“I absolutely pass 105% of the time, but also a blind man called me ‘sir.’”

 

[DickMain]

Clearly she's under the impression that she is a trans person of consequence, and that when she speaks, Virgin Atlantic will listen.

It's a t-shirt, you shitflinging hysteric. If you were actually male and even dreamt of expressing discomfort at something so trivial, you would have been bullied so fucking hard your grandkids would be born with wedgies.

 

[everybody in Portugal]

Great points by Emma Cumslutress.

Why are there ass trumpets?

Do you want demons?
This is how we get demons.

She has gotten over her crippling fear of Sonic The Hedgehog. I'm sure you're all relieved for her

I refuse to type the other disgusting titles lest I summon a disabled demon who will screech and drool everywhere