Ralph's Fortieth Birthday Thread - Where did the time go?

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Well he got the birthday he deserves, all alone in his $400/month Mexican cubicle that he can just barely afford, streaming 8 hours or so to an audience of 240. No celebration, no ‘senorita,’ no cake, nothing. Love that for him.
 
Hey Johnny Bravo said:
Serious and naive question: is there any post explaining this guy's history in a nutshell, or should I just man up and read his whole thread? I don't know his lore as much as I should and I feel ashamed for this, but it's such a meaty topic that it's daunting.
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Kill All Pedos made a good summary of his early career, but it is waaaay outdated now, lmfao
This was made 4 years ago, so I believe it doesn't cover the entirety of the Mexico saga or Portugal saga. I dunno if there is a good summary of either of these, other than piggy here being retarded and fat, I can tell you right now he went to Portugal twice and he got the shit beaten out of him twice, now he has a permanently googly eye because of it. Oh, and this farm animal used to have a name, but he recently gave it up when he got intimidated by a random man on the street. He has been nameless ever since, in case you want a reference as to how pathetic this 40 year old swine celebrating it's birthday in a tin shack in Mexico is.
 
The best birthday gift of them all for Ralph is for confirmation that Jim is alive in a time where everybody was 98% sure he was dead.
WHY WONT YOU WISH ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEDICARE????
 
Gamergate Retiree said:
Happy birthday, wish we lived in the timeline when you didn't lose your mind. Like, the timeline where the 2010s unbreakable alliance could have lasted. Metokur, Sargon, Ralph, Donga, Warski, Bearing, even Rackets (maybe, if he wasn't treating his kids like shit back then) and many more, all in perfect unity. Then, one by one, it broke apart...
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The crew breaking apart was way too kino to not let it happen

30+GameOvers said:
Kill All Pedos made a good summary of his early career, but it is waaaay outdated now,
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Someone needs to make a geno samuel style documentary of Ralph it would be amazing. Probably couldn't happen while he's alive or out of prison since he would DMCA, phonebook and swat them into oblivion though. And there's also that book about himself he says he's been writing.
 
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Say whatever you want about Ralph, but his liver is top notch. Or top of the sektor, if you will.

Cobra, heaven bless him, could not handle the alcohol and cigars and died at 32. Ethan Oliver Ralph has handled every drug under the sun since he is was 14 (or top of Mexican AIDS) and he is still going.

Happy Birthday, Ralph! Put the whores in place!

biggerAndBroken.webp
 
He’s not dead by 40. He totallly owns the naysayers and haters; just look at how well he is doing.

How many of you have the luxury of
Peace and quiet in your birthday and
Not being bothered by friends.

Total own.
 
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