Life after prison - What happens if Chris is One Day released from prison

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AnOminous said:
He couldn't handle that shit anyway.
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True, but he'd probably get a lot of business from the weens before fucking it all up.


Yamcha's Only Fan said:
If the house isn't there he's going to try and save as many toys and vidya games as he can, turning his shopping cart into a rolling temple to mindless corporate consumerism.
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Fixed that for you.


King Metalia said:
What kind of sadistic fuck would watch that crap.
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That is not sadism.

Sadism is enjoying inflicting pain on others. That's not the same thing as watching others inflict pain on themselves, which is near enough the purest form of comedy. To paraphrase the great Mel Brooks:

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when Chris falls into an open sewer and dies."​


brahsparagus said:
A weenoid will hand him a Colt Python and show him how to put it to the roof of his mouth to maximally soul bond before pulling the trigger to meet Magi-chan's embrace like Bud Dwyer.
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Only because weens are stupid and have no imagination. And Chris would likely shoot the ween, either because he's not THAT stupid, or simply because Chris fucks everything up.

There are far, far worse things weens could do if only they would think for a minute.
 
Coach Kreeton Of All That said:
Those friends were his only two pairs of pants.
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When did Chris get another pair of pants?

brahsparagus said:
A weenoid will hand him a Colt Python and show him how to put it to the roof of his mouth to maximally soul bond before pulling the trigger
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Chris seems to believe that people who commit suicide can’t become Sonichus and go to heaven. Thanks, Idea Guys.

Chris knows what guns do.

brahsparagus said:
Sad to say, that's not out of the realm of possibility.
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Nothing is outside the real of possibility when it comes to Chris, though. Not a high bar.
 
Ophelia said:
Chris knows what guns do.
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This.

You might be able to convince Chris that the gun wouldn't hurt him more than it does Daffy Duck, but he would still understand it would hurt, and Chris isn't a fan of pain (for himself).

Also, arming Chris, for whatever reason, is an amazingly bad idea on so many levels. And besides, there are far crueler things one could do to Chris that aren't nearly so terminal.
 
Nah, what Chris needs to do after jail is to get an RV and pick up JustinRPG and get into shenanigans. They can bring their moms along too,

It shall be known as the Cwciki Express Saga - Chris and The Hedgehog boys feat JustinRPG.
 
Manly_Brony said:
He switched to leggings, yoga pants and skirts. Trooning out has somewhat helped his fashion sense.
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Not so sure about that buddy
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Whipsonspoony said:
Nah, what Chris needs to do after jail is to get an RV
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A Terry Davis-saga would be interesting. I'd like to see Chris go state to state (no papers) and make YT commentary videos of obscure museums like The Museum of Bad Art in Dedham, Massachusetts (where Sonichu should be the centerpiece).
 
Stoicism Is For Losers said:
Not so sure about that buddy
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You should have seen the shit he wore for those TF2 brony YTer videos. He dressed up for them but never showered so he always looked like some sea hag with blue-green sargasso hair.
I think one time I paused the video and counted 21 rings on both of his hands, and that's not counting the amount of jewelry around his neck that'd give Mr. T a crick in his neck.
 
Whipsonspoony said:
Nah, what Chris needs to do after jail is to get an RV and pick up JustinRPG and get into shenanigans. They can bring their moms along too,

It shall be known as the Cwciki Express Saga - Chris and The Hedgehog boys feat JustinRPG.
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Given one's penchant for eating shit, and the other's for DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS, are we sure we want the two of them under the same poorly-ventilated roof?
 
For those of you theorizing that Chris could possibly learn his lesson let me ask you a question. Has he ever? How many times has Chris fallen for the same stupid shit Sheryl because he refuses to due anything different?

Here’s my prediction. In prison Chris will meet new “trolls” that is if he’s even allowed to serve out his time in a proper prison. I honestly don’t think he’ll be killed. Chris is cowardly and lazy. As such when push comes to shove he’ll cave and take the path of least resistance until he has a sperg out. At worst he’ll get a few beatings and a lot of flashbacks to when he was held down.

What I think people are overlooking however is that someone is definitely going to be fucking Chris. Prison niggers are a desperate breed all their own and Chris is an easy and likely willing target.
 
DDBCAE CBAADCBE said:
For those of you theorizing that Chris could possibly learn his lesson let me ask you a question. Has he ever? How many times has Chris fallen for the same stupid shit Sheryl because he refuses to due anything different?

Here’s my prediction. In prison Chris will meet new “trolls” that is if he’s even allowed to serve out his time in a proper prison. I honestly don’t think he’ll be killed. Chris is cowardly and lazy. As such when push comes to shove he’ll cave and take the path of least resistance until he has a sperg out. At worst he’ll get a few beatings and a lot of flashbacks to when he was held down.

What I think people are overlooking however is that someone is definitely going to be fucking Chris. Prison niggers are a desperate breed all their own and Chris is an easy and likely willing target.
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Chris is probably just going to be handed time served and a fine. I seriously doubt he'll end up in a real prison sharing a cell with some 300lbs of muscle tyrone who's in for 2 counts of murder.

Remember, unless any new charges are brought up which i find unlikely at this point, he's only going to be tried for misdemeanor incest and they cant hold him for longer than a year, he's going to be out by August 1st.
 
Stoicism Is For Losers said:
Not so sure about that buddy
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At least he looks fairly recently bathed and laundered in that picture. You can't say that for all the pictures we have of him in The Classic.

It really says something about Chris that what is a major positive for him (bathed and laundered) is just baseline normal for everyone else.
 
Stoicism Is For Losers said:
Not so sure about that buddy
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He’s such a clown! :lit: His stupid stuffy even has its own medallion!

DDBCAE CBAADCBE said:
What I think people are overlooking however is that someone is definitely going to be fucking Chris. Prison niggers are a desperate breed all their own and Chris is an easy and likely willing target.
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Why do you think Chris would be in genpop and not protected? When has Chris shown an interest in being fucked by a real life non-cartoon man?
 
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