I would argue a lot of women do not want to be talked to like how someone would talk to men, and vice versa. They tend to have different communication styles, different interests, different senses of humor, etc. I think this is especially clear when you read writing by men and woman. While no two writers share a voice and there are always exceptions, the majority of the time, there are pretty clear differences between stories written by men and stories written by women. Much like how you'd communicate with someone from a different generation. That side of things isn't about social expectations as much as it's about speaking and communicating in a way that will resonate with the person you're talking to.