Let’s Spork: Mushoku Tensei - “iT’s PeAk FiCtIoN”

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Rudeus should be fat. It's not some generic trait fatsos like to pretend, being fat is a mentality and short of the parents forcefully blocking him from the pantry (which he would 100% complain about if it did), or casting a spell being equivalent to running a marathon, he should look like Augustus Gloop. Especially with his parents seemingly not allowing him to walk around and interact with other children.
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I dunno Made In Abyss is still more gross. Don't get me wrong, this is bad but Made In Aybss made me physically retch.
Made in Abyss has a lot of "The author's barely disguised fetish", but it has a great world building and really great emotional moments. The most you can say about Mushoku is that it's straightforward with how degenerate it is.
 
Rudeus should be fat.
He was originally 220 pounds. The average Japanese man's weight tends to be about 138 pounds, so yes, he was actually fat, though not morbidly obese.

Hey wait a second, does the series ever put emphasis on food? The Japanese fucking love food and showing it off, even in an isekai, but I just realized that I don't think Rudeus has ever talked about glorious Nippon medieval gourmet to salivate over and describe in great detail what it smells, looks, tastes, and feels like going down the throat and how it perfectly fills the stomach. He didn't even talk about the breast milk, did he?
 
He was originally 220 pounds. The average Japanese man's weight tends to be about 138 pounds, so yes, he was actually fat, though not morbidly obese.

Hey wait a second, does the series ever put emphasis on food? The Japanese fucking love food and showing it off, even in an isekai, but I just realized that I don't think Rudeus has ever talked about glorious Nippon medieval gourmet to salivate over and describe in great detail what it smells, looks, tastes, and feels like going down the throat and how it perfectly fills the stomach. He didn't even talk about the breast milk, did he?
Wouldn't weighting nearly twice the average (especially as modern day average man is more on the fat side) be considered morbidly obese?

If I had to bet, I'd say it will pop when they go adventuring and Rudeus finds random assortment of herbs and spices that just so happen to emulate ramen/curry, despite him never cooking in any expert way in real life. And all his harem fawns over the taste because he is the first person to think about it.
 
Rudeus should be fat. It's not some generic trait fatsos like to pretend, being fat is a mentality and short of the parents forcefully blocking him from the pantry (which he would 100% complain about if it did), or casting a spell being equivalent to running a marathon, he should look like Augustus Gloop. Especially with his parents seemingly not allowing him to walk around and interact with other children.
It's a lot harder to be fat without the conveniences of modern living and most food stuffs having to be made from scratch.
 
Wouldn't weighting nearly twice the average (especially as modern day average man is more on the fat side) be considered morbidly obese?
Not necessarily. It's rare to find an obese person in Japan, though you may occasionally run into someone who's overweight. You can easily become overweight as a NEET and just stuffing your face with food and sitting around all day, and NEETs typically only walk down to the closest conbini whenever they leave their rooms. The Japanese actually have more of a problem of being underweight than overweight, particularly among their aging population and women.
 
Rudeus should be fat. It's not some generic trait fatsos like to pretend, being fat is a mentality
I got the impression that he was fat less out of any real love of food and more because he was a sedentary otaku living off cup ramen whose most strenuous daily exercise was cranking it to lolicon.
Just getting up and leaving the house would make a big difference at that point, so I kinda see toddler rudy getting over his fear of the outdoors as indicative of the mentality change needed.
 
They are the only double wide in the trailer park. They have more wealth than the neighbors, but they are not by any means rich.
I call bullshit, the father is a master swordsman heir to a high ranking noble house and they can afford having a lived in sorceress to train their 4 year old son in spellcraft.
I got the impression that he was fat less out of any real love of food and more because he was a sedentary otaku living off cup ramen whose most strenuous daily exercise was cranking it to lolicon.
Just getting up and leaving the house would make a big difference at that point, so I kinda see toddler rudy getting over his fear of the outdoors as indicative of the mentality change needed.
I feel like it's just an exaggerated trope at this point, a lived in otaku would eat the same high fat high sugar shit slop that a western nerd would eat.
 
I feel like it's just an exaggerated trope at this point, a lived in otaku would eat the same high fat high sugar shit slop that a western nerd would eat.
I also thought it was an exaggerated trope until I lost a bunch of weight from just a walk a day and eating homecooked versions of the slop I'd previously been buying as preprocessed. Even if he's rich isekai world doesn't have cup noodles to buy, he'd have to pester the maid to make them from scratch (and that'll take a lot longer than the 3 minutes he's used to waiting).
I agree that he should've been fat as a toddler, but once he starts studying swords and magic I don't think he should stay fat.
I call bullshit, the father is a master swordsman heir to a high ranking noble house and they can afford having a lived in sorceress to train their 4 year old son in spellcraft.
been a while since I read the thing but iirc the dad isn't an heir (having run off to be an adventurer) and most of his money is adventurer's loot rather than family wealth. the live-in sorceress was cheap because she's a demon.
 
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I call bullshit, the father is a master swordsman heir to a high ranking noble house and they can afford having a lived in sorceress to train their 4 year old son in spellcraft.
They are still living in small village in the middle of nowhereville. Paul is the equivalent of a landed knight from a minor branch of a noble family. I actually read the series, so the family's finances is a topic that comes up later, so I don't know why you're so insistent on this argument.
 
Around 2015-16, Rifujin infamously uploaded a chapter that violated the terms of service of Narou, and was so poorly received by fans that he deleted it.
"The Moment Aisha Greyrat Stopped Being a Maid" was a series of redundancy chapters in the web novel, taking place years after the main story finishes.
While trudging through the detritus of the internet, I found out that Rifujin released an updated version of the Ars and Aisha story about a month ago. While I know this thread's become inactive, this is the best place to spork about this series. It's also the main place to shit on it. Since I took the effort to look up details of this mess, I'll take the opportunity to describe it, and talk about how much I hated it. The updated version is even worse than the original web novel. I'm just going to cover the parts of the story that I hated the most, because I don't want to sift through this entire trashfire.
OHGODWHYWHYWHY.webp
As a little disclaimer I should say that I haven't actually read the updated light novel story, as it's only available in Japanese and I can't read that language. I had to look up the changes and minutia from other people who could read it, so all the details that I'm giving are what I've heard secondhand.
In this updated version of the story, Ars is 10 years old when he and Aisha start banging. Aisha is 25. The story takes place from Ars' perspective after he turns 10.
After they're caught in the act, Rudeus and the family interrogate them. Eventually Eris lunges forward, but instead of attacking Aisha for molesting her 10 year old son, she starts beating Ars instead. The reason? According to her, he was being a coward, hiding behind Aisha and letting her take all the blame for the incident. She makes him take responsibility for having sex with his aunt and say that everything's his fault, EVEN THOUGH HE'S TEN! :stress:
This leads to this illustration.
Fuck These Bitches.webp
After this he got up and admitted that he'd been repeatedly confessing his feelings to Aisha and asking her to marry him over and over again for some time, and she kept turning him down. Instead of telling the rest of the family and Rudeus about this, so that they could talk Ars out of it, Aisha just kept it to herself until she decided to give in and bone him. Ars says that everything is all his fault. After the meeting is over his own siblings confront him and begin shitting on him, calling him a coward for letting Aisha shelter all the blame, and that he didn't deserve to be with her. Again, he's supposed to be 10 at this point in this story.
The elopement and them running away happens later that night, with one major difference. While they're sneaking out of the house, Roxy catches them. So does Roxy A: Use magic to stop them and get Rudeus, or B: Talk them out of it and bring them back into the house? After all, there's no way she'd just-
WROOONNG!!.gif
She decides to stand back and let them go...
She pats Ars on the head, says that she ran away from home too when she was his age, and goes against her husbands wishes, letting Aisha run off with his 10 year old son.
We get this fucking illustration...
Fuck This Series.webp
A quick question, this qualifies as kidnapping doesn't it? You've got a 25 year old woman, taking a man's 10 year old son away from him to go live out whatever fantasy life she has in mind with the boy. It doesn't matter if Ars is on board with it or not, he's too young to be making these sorts of decisions. I don't think this would be allowed even in medieval times.
The most fucked up part about all of this, what bothered me the most, are the betrayals to Rudeus that happen during this incident:
Roxy wasn't the only person in the household to catch them leaving. Seig (Rudeus' son with Sylphy) and Lara (Rudeus' first daughter with Roxy) both see them leaving the house through the window, and instead of stopping them or calling on their father, they just smile and wave goodbye, going against their father's wishes. These are the same siblings who shit on Ars earlier.
Roxy going behind Rudeus, her husband's back, by letting Aisha and his son run away. Not only does she let them leave, she goes out of her way to help them and cover their tracks, making it harder for Rudeus to find them.
Aisha had founded a mercenary company to support Rudeus several years earlier. Instead of helping him find his son, virtually everyone in the mercenary band turns traitor against Rudeus, who is supposed to be their boss, and sides with Aisha, spreading false rumors through town about where the two might've went.
This is why it takes so long for Rudeus to find them, because most everyone treats Rudeus like he's the bad guy for opposing this relationship. By this point in the story, Rudeus has been working almost non-stop to support his family. He's been doing missions for Orsted constantly, spending weeks at a time traveling the world to complete these tasks, to try and make sure his children, grandchildren, and so forth will be safe from danger. Yet, this is how they repay his efforts, by going behind his back and spitting on his decisions.
I've had just about enough of this so I'll speed through everything else. Ars is 12 when Rudeus finally finds them and the big confrontation happens, yada yada like in the web novel. Rudeus sends Aisha to work in some other country, and sends to Ars to school while the family takes care of the resulting incest baby (a boy named Leroy). His first grandchild is not only his grandson, but also his half-nephew. Dear god...
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, Rudeus spanking it to his underage niece is now canon again! Only instead of doing it to a video of her bathing, it's a video of her in a swimsuit... That does NOT make it better.
Several years pass and a 15 year old Ars beats Eris in a sword-fight after graduating from school, cutting her hand off. He reunites with Aisha and gives her flowers, marrying her for real.
Fuck Me.webp
OH GOD I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!
We get another timeskip, and this entire story is being read by a 72 year old Ars in a diary written by Rudeus that was found after he died of old age. Whatever. Everything's supposed to be happy, blah blah blah. THE END!
It's finally over thank god. Abysmal dogshit is putting this lightly, Jesus Christ. Unsurprisingly, there are degenerates defending this.
I'll end this by complaining about one last thing: the OP failed to follow through on his promise to spork the entire first volume, I am disappoint. :(
 
She makes him take responsibility for having sex with his aunt and say that everything's his fault, EVEN THOUGH HE'S TEN!
55 - Copy.webp

I know its a meme that Miyazaki said "Anime was a mistake" but I agree much more with something he actually said.
"Some people spend their lives interested only in themselves. Almost all Japanese animation is produced with hardly any basis taken from observing real people, you know. It’s produced by humans who can’t stand looking at other humans. And that’s why the industry is full of otaku!"

I refuse to believe that a sane, happy, and healthy human being could write this shit, and I know that the aforementioned people don't read it.
Miyazaki quote - Copy.webp
 
We are so back.

I am not gonna lie, I forgot I was supposed to be doing this. No excuses, let’s fucking go.

Chapter 8
I was now six. My day-to-day life hadn’t changed much. Mornings, I worked on my sword training. In the afternoon, if I had time, I’d do some fieldwork, or practice magic under the tree on the hill. Recently, I’d been experimenting with ways to augment my swordsmanship with magic. I’d use a gust of wind to accelerate my sword’s swing, create a shockwave to quickly turn myself around, turn the ground to mud under an opponent’s feet and mire them in place, and the like.

SHOW US, DON’T FUCKING TELL US!

Some people might think that my swordplay wasn’t improving, since I was spending all my time on these little tricks, but I didn’t agree. There were two ways to get better at fighting games: keep practicing to improve, or find a different way to beat your opponent with your inferior skills. Right now, I was only thinking of the latter. Defeating Paul was the challenge at hand. Paul was a tough guy. He might have a ways to go in the parenting department, but as a swordsman, he was first-rate. If I were to focus on the first method, and hone my physique to an absurd degree, I was sure I could beat him someday. However, I was six years old. In ten years, I’d be sixteen, and Paul would be thirty-five. Five years after that, I’d be twenty-one, and he’d be forty. So, yeah, I could beat him someday, but by then, it wouldn’t mean anything. Defeating someone far older than you just got brushed off with claims of, “Oh, if this were back in my day…”

You’re telling me that no one in this fantasy world has ever thought of combining swordsmanship with magic?

Defeating Paul while he was still in his prime—that would mean something. Right now, he was twenty-five years old. He might have retired from the frontlines, but he was currently at his physical peak. I wanted to beat him at least once within the next five years.

Assuming of course that Paul doesn’t just decide to hold back so he can raise your confidence.

Under the tree atop the hill, Sylph came by, as he usually did.
“Sorry,” he said. “I hope I didn’t keep you waiting.”
“Not at all,” I replied. “I just got here myself.” That’s how we’d start things off: like a couple, where one would wait for the other before we began.

This might be wholesome if Rudeus didn’t have the mind of a 44 year old.

Back when we first started playing, Somal or some other local punks would come by. Sometimes older kids—school-aged or in their early teens—would be in the mix, but I drove them all off. Whenever I did, Somal’s mother would come by my house to yell at me.

I can’t stop misreading “Somal” as “Somali”.

That’s when I figured out that Somal’s mother wasn’t so much invested in castigating children as she was fond of Paul. She was using scuffles between little kids as an excuse to come and see him. She was absurd. At the barest scratch, she’d march over to our place with her son in tow, which Somal didn’t seem to be pleased with. So, yeah, he wasn’t faking injuries after all. Sorry for doubting him.

Of course it’s because she has a crush on Paul. Overbearing parents who scapegoat don’t exist in this world, apparently.

Anyway, less about those punks and more about Sylph.
What we referred to as “playing” was, in fact, magic training. If Sylph picked up a bit of spellcraft, he could fend off bullies by himself. In the beginning, Sylph was only able to cast five or six entry-level spells before getting short of breath, but a year had gone by,
and his magical reserves had grown significantly. Now, he could train for half the day without an issue.
I had very little belief in the idea that there were limits on a person’s magical reserves anymore. Still, there was work needed on the spells themselves. Sylph was especially poor with fire. He could handle wind and water magic quite deftly, but fire was his weak spot. I wondered why. Was it because he had elven blood?
No, that wasn’t right. During my lessons with Roxy, I’d learned about “affinity schools” and “opposition schools.” As the names suggested, some people had an affinity for certain schools of magic,while other schools inherently gave them trouble. Once I asked Sylph if he was afraid of fire. He shook his head and said he wasn’t, but he showed me his palm, where he had a burn
scar. When he was about three, he’d grabbed a metal skewer set over the hearth while his parents weren’t looking. “I’m not scared anymore,” he said, but I bet he still had some instinctual fear. Experiences like that had an impact on what became one’s opposition schools. With dwarves, for instance, water was a very common opposition school.

SHOW.DON’T.FUCKING.TELL! DON’T THEY TEACH THIS IN JAPAN???????
A father’s heart is a jealous heart…
The words rang clearly in my head as if they’d been said aloud, but I quickly shook my head and banished the thought. This wasn’t a matter of jealousy. Besides, his being good-looking was part of my plan: Operation Hot Friend Bait.
IMG_1495.webp
Rudy is such a manipulative piece of shit.

“That says ‘avalanche.’

“What does it mean?”

“When tremendous amounts of snow build up on a mountain, it can’t bear its own weight, and it all comes collapsing down. You know how when snow builds up on your roof it sometimes comes off? It’s like a way bigger version of that.”

“Oh, wow. That sounds incredible. Have you ever seen one?”

“An avalanche? Of course I…haven’t.” Not outside of TV, anyway.

Sylph had me read from A Textbook of Magic. This was also part of teaching him how to read and write. No harm in learning literacy. There was no spell in this world that could do that for you. The lower the literacy rate, the more valuable being able to read was.

“I did it!” Sylph cheered. He’d managed to cast the

Intermediate-tier water spell Ice Pillar. A shaft of water sprang from the ground, glinting brightly in the sunlight.

“Hey, you’re getting pretty good,” I said.

“Uh-huh!” Sylph replied, and then he tilted his head. “But there’s stuff you do that isn’t written in here, huh?”

“Huh?” It took me a few moments to realize he was talking about that thing I’d done with the warm water. I flipped briskly through A Textbook of Magic, then pointed at two entries. “No, it’s written in here. Waterfall and Heat Hand.”

“Hm?”

“I used both at the same time.”

“Huh?” Sylph inclined his head even further. “How can you chant two things at the same time?”

Skipping ahead, their training is cut short due to rain pour.
“Oh, wow. This is some pretty bad rain,” I said.

“Rudy, I know you can make it rain, but can you also make it stop?”

I can, but we’re already soaking wet, and without rain, the crops aren’t going to grow. I make a point not to mess with the weather unless it’s going to cause problems.”

We were already off and running by then. Since Sylph’s housewas too far away, we made for the Greyrat estate.

Even then, didn’t we already establish that Zenith could heal plants and stuff? So if crops get damaged, what’s stopping Zenith and other mages from stepping in?

I’m home!” I called out.
“Uh, h-hello,” Sylph added.
Our maid, Lilia, was standing just inside, waiting with a large cloth in hand.

I love the fact that even though we had an entire chapter dedicated to Lilia’s entire backstory, we still need to be reminded that she’s the maid.

The two of us took off our shoes, then dried off our heads and our bare feet before heading upstairs. Entering my room, I saw that a bucket filled with warm water had been set out. In this world, we didn’t have showers, or bathtubs even, so this was how we cleaned up. According to Roxy, there were hot springs where people could bathe, but as someone who wasn’t fond of bathing in the first place, this method was fine by me.

>As someone who wasn’t fond of bathing in the first place

IMG_1501.webp

In order to spare your sanity, I’ll sum up what happens next:

Rudy pressures Slyph into getting naked, which is when he finds out that Slyph is a girl. I’m not going to repost the illustration provided for this scene because it’s just gross (on top of that, I don’t want to incur the wrath of Null on top of being grossed out).

He…was a she.

My vision went white. What I’d just done was not okay at all.

I skipped over the paragraph before it because the author felt it was appropriate to talk about all the things he wished to do to a vagina.

Excuse me while I go hurl.

Let’s just go to Paul’s POV. Hopefully he’s rightfully disgusted.

I came home after work to find my son assaulting the young girl that he always liked spending time with. I wanted to tear into him on the spot, but I managed to stay level.

Paul seems like a well adjusted person who learns from his mistakes. I sure hope the author doesn’t do something to undermine his character to try to make Rudy look better.

Maybe this was another case where there were circumstances I wasn’t aware of. I didn’t want to repeat my previous failure. For now, I decided to put the sobbing girl in the care of my wife and the maid while I helped my son clean up and dry off.

“Why were you doing something like that?” I asked.

“I’m sorry.”

When I’d scolded him a year earlier, he seemed completely unwilling to apologize, but now the apology came right out and he turned meek, shriveling up like sautéed spinach. “I asked you for a reason,” I said.

“Well, they were soaking wet. I figured I should take them off.”

“But she didn’t like that, did she?”

“No…”

“I told you to be nice to girls, didn’t I?”

“You did. I’m sorry.”

Rudeus had no excuse for himself. I wondered if I’d been the same at his age. I felt like whatever I might have said would have been full of “buts” and “you sees.” I’d had an excuse for everything when I was a kid. My son was more honest than that.

“My son just assaulted a girl, but at least he’s honest.”
-Paul

“Well, I suppose that, at your age, it’s natural to want to pick on girls, but you can’t do that.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.”

Ugh. I can’t even.

Something about seeing my boy so utterly dejected made me feel guilty. That fondness for women came from me. When I was little, I was full of youthful vigor and virility, and incessantly chased after cute girls who caught my eye. I managed to keep myself more subdued these days, but I really couldn’t restrain myself in the past. Maybe I’d passed that on to my son.

The way the author uses Paul to excuse Rudy’s wrongdoings is both on point for enabling parents, yet frustrating to read. This is how dindus are made.

Rudeus stood up from the bath, looked to Sylphiette, and opened with: “I’m sorry, Sylphie. Your hair’s short, and so I thought you were a boy this whole time!”
I’d always thought our son was perfect, but maybe he was a lot dumber than I’d thought. And that was the first time I’d ever thought that.

Anyone could’ve told you that you had a retarded son.

Back to Rudy.

After a lot of apologies, compliments, and reassurances, I got her to forgive me somehow.

This comes off as textbook manipulative and you can’t change my mind on that.

Learning that Sylphie was a girl changed my attitude. Seeing her in her boyish getup made me feel kind of weird.

“You’re really cute, Sylphie,” I said. “Maybe you should try growing your hair out?”

“Huh?”

I figured it’d be easier for me to see her in a new light if she changed her appearance, hence the suggestion. Sylphie may have hated her hair, but that emerald green color would look dazzling in the sunlight. I definitely wanted her to try growing it out—and, if possible, for her to style it in either pigtails or a ponytail.

He isn’t beating those pedophile allegations.

“No…” she said.

Ever since that incident, Sylphie had been wary of me. In particular, she conspicuously avoided physical contact. Since she always went along with whatever I’d proposed, I was kind of shocked.

You assaulted her, what the fuck else were you expecting?!

Rudy spends the next few pages sperging more about the magic system, until we cut to him training with his father.

I thought my father would be angry with me for being so obviously out of breath, but he flashed a grin instead.

“Hehehe. What’s the matter, Rudy?” he asked. “Feeling down because Sylphiette doesn’t like you?”

That wasn’t what I’d sighed about, though. Granted, Sylphie was one of the things weighing on my mind.

“Well, yeah. Sword practice isn’t going so well, Sylphie is mad at me—yeah, I sighed.”

Paul grinned again and thrust his wooden practice sword into the ground. He leaned against it and looked directly at me. Oh, please tell me he’s not about to make fun of me…
“Want some advice from your dad?”

Granted, Paul was more the kind of person who acted on intuition, so I wasn’t sure I’d understand him, but if nothing else, it’d be food for thought. “Yes, please,” I told him.

“Hmm. How to put this…?”

“Should I go and lick her boots?”

“No, that’s—wow, you got all servile all of a sudden.”

“If you don’t tell me, I’ll let Mother know how you were making eyes at Lilia.”

“This is a very high-pressure situ—whoa, hey! You saw that?” Paul balked. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry for acting high-and-mighty.”

YOU ARE THE PARENT! Why are you letting yourself get bullied by a six year old????

I’d only mentioned Lilia to bait the conversation into going my way, but…was he actually having an affair? I mean, if he was, then hey, whatever. That was all part and parcel of being a ladies’ man. I’d have to ask him how to play the part properly.

Uh no, that’s not being a lady’s man. That’s called being a degenerate.

“Listen, Rudy,” he said. “So, about women…”

“Yeah?”

“They like things about men that make them strong, but they also like some of our softer aspects.”

“Ohh.” I’d heard as much before. Did that have something to do with maternal instincts or whatever?

“Now, you’ve only been showing Sylphiette the things that make you strong, haven’t you?”

“Maybe? I haven’t really noticed one way or the other.”

“Think about it,” Paul said. “If someone clearly stronger than you came at you with their intentions for you on full display, how would you feel?”

“Scared, I guess?”

“Hey Rudy, how would you feel if you didn’t have breakfast yesterday?”

“I don’t understand the question.”

”Exactly.” I could only assume he was talking about what had happened on that day—the day I’d learned “he” was a she. “That’s why you need to show her your softer aspects, too. Use your strengths to protect her, and she’ll protect your weaknesses. That’s how you keep a relationship going.”

“Ohh!” That was simple to understand! I didn’t think a vague guy like Paul was capable of such an explanation!

You couldn’t just be strong, but you also couldn’t just be weak. Only by being a little of both could you pull in the girls.

Thank you, Paul, for giving Rudy some tips to make grooming girls in another world much easier.

Luckily, Paul has a moment of self awareness:
What the hell did I just teach my six-year-old son?”


I got to our spot under the tree earlier than usual, so Sylphie hadn’t shown up yet. I’d brought my wooden practice sword, as always, but I hadn’t cleaned up before heading out like I usually did, so I was all sweaty.

Knowing how much Rudy hates basic hygiene, I hate to imagine the foul stench that Slyph was subjected to when she shows up.

“What’s the matter, Rudy?” Sylphie was staring at me, her eyes wide. What was the matter? Was it because I’d shown up super early?

“Uhh…hmm…well… Y-you’re… You’re really cute, and I, err…wanted to see you, but, uh…”

“No, not that. The sweat.”

“Hmff… Ahh… S-sweat? Whaddya mean?”

“What do I mean by that? You fucking stink, Rudy. I’m offended that you think it’s perfectly fine to just stink in public like that. What the fuck is wrong with you? Go take a bath you troglodyte.”

I reached down to pick up the wooden sword in dejection, then struck a remorseful pose, facing away from her. I allowed my shoulders to slump, and let out a heavy sigh. “Man. I feel like you’re really cold lately, Sylphie.”

And that’s her fault?

“You know, Rudy, you’ve been acting really strange recently,” she said, her face a touch lonesome as she said it.

“You don’t just have bad hygiene, you’re also creepy.”

“I’m sorry,” Sylphie said. “But Rudy, I don’t hate you.”

“S-Sylphie…” I must have had a pathetic look on my face, because she patted my head. Then, Sylphie flashed me a wonderful, carefree smile. It was so soft.

I was moved almost to the point of tears.

I had clearly been in the wrong, but she was the one who’d apologized. I took her hand and gripped it tightly in mine. Her face blushed red with surprise even as she gazed at me and said, “So, could you please just act normal?” Those upturned eyes of hers added weight to her words.

I haven’t mentioned this before, but what’s with girls blushing all the time in this series?


Hidden away within me was the power I needed to make this decision. And so, I did. That’s right. What she hoped for was normalcy. A relationship the same as the one we’d always had. So, to the best of my ability, I
would treat her normally, and do my best not to frighten or fluster her.

You need a girl to tell you to act like a decent human being?

In other words…I would become one of them. I supposed I might as well.

It was time to be an oblivious protagonist.

I misread “oblivious” as “obnoxious” at first somehow.

That’s all for this chapter.
 
The most fucked up part about all of this, what bothered me the most, are the betrayals to Rudeus that happen during this incident:
Why does this upset you so much? Rudeus truly gets what he fucking deserved even though it took years for karma to finally decide to kick his ass. Dude's a hypocrite.

You’re telling me that no one in this fantasy world has ever thought of combining swordsmanship with magic?
I dunno how you came to that conclusion from that, though that brings up something I've yet to see in these isekai stories. See, I would understand if we got to see worldbuilding happen in real time where the main character actually invented something that would catch on in the world and perhaps even better the lives of everyone in it (so like an industrial revolution of sorts), but Rudeus comes off more of a guy who'd actually uncover magic that would stop a girl from growing once she hit, I dunno, 10 or something like that.

I mean, that is said to happen in another light novel series Bludgeoning Angel Dokuro-chan, but that's a parody series to begin with, and the point of Dokuro coming down to earth is to keep the main character from studying hard enough to be able to discover that. I don't see anyone objecting to Rudeus doing something like that if he wanted to.

>As someone who wasn’t fond of bathing in the first place

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That's like the most un-Japanese thing I've ever read in a Japanese character. Bathing is almost sacred to the culture, readers should've been taken aback by this statement and declared him a heathen.

Then again, he was such a fat-ass that he probably couldn't fit in the tub to begin with. Have you seen ofuro?
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“You know, Rudy, you’ve been acting really strange recently,” she said, her face a touch lonesome as she said it.
"It's almost like you're not of this world, or something. You don't act like a real kid."

"Doesn't everyone remember their first taste of milk straight out of their mother's full, firm breast?"

"Wh-What?"

You need a girl to tell you to act like a decent human being?
This is a character literally running off of anime logic as written by an author only using anime as a reference for writing. "Oblivious protagonists" get all the bitches, don't you know?
 
The only "somewhat" non degenerate way to write reborn isekai (besides not having romance) is to have the main character be amnesiac to his past life up until the age he passed away so it doesn't make every social interaction reek of pedophilia.
 
EDIT: I AM FIXING THE FORMATTING. Please be patient with me while I fix this post. I refuse to start all over again.

Chapter 9

Zenith had learned she was pregnant. I was going to have a little brother or sister. Our family was growing. Oh, Rudy, you lucky guy!

Keep your filthy paws away from the siblings. I feel bad enough for the parents having to deal with your ass as is.

For a few years now, Zenith had been worried about her inability to conceive another child. I’d heard her mutter and sigh on occasion about how maybe she couldn’t bear children anymore, but about a month earlier, there was a shift in her food cravings, along with nausea, vomiting, and a general sense of fatigue—in other words, symptoms of classic morning sickness. The feelings were familiar, and a trip to the doctor confirmed that her self-diagnosis was almost certainly correct.

I’ve beaten this point to death, but these are things that could have been shown in previous chapters. Even just nausea and fatigue would’ve been a good enough reason to explain why Zentih has been a non-character in these past few chapters or so.

It was a day of bubbling joy and countless smiles. I was honestly very happy, hoping that I’d wind up with a little sister. A younger brother might break all of my precious things (with a baseball bat).

Oh, fuck off.

I’ve read a spoiler that the his full sister comes to rightfully hate him, so there’s that silver lining in all this.

The problems didn’t arise until about a month later.

Of course. His parents were too cool for too long at this point.

Our maid, Lilia, had discovered that she was pregnant, as well.
“I’m so sorry,” she announced matter-of-factly to the family as we sat at the table. “I’m pregnant.” In that instant, the Greyrat family froze. Who was the father?
But, given the circumstances, nobody could bring themselves to ask.

Since it’s been established that Lilia doesn’t get days off or have anything resembling a life outside of the Greyrat residence, there’s only one person who could have knocked her up.

Everyone had realized it on some level at least. Lilia was our maid. She sent almost all of her pay back home to her family. Unlike Paul, who frequently headed into town to help settle problems, or Zenith, who helped out at the local clinic at certain times, Lilia almost never left the house unless it was on work-related duties, and nobody had heard rumors about her developing an especially close relationship with anyone. Perhaps it had been a casual fling?

I love it when the text confirms what I previously said. I was not expecting it to tell me that his parents had lives outside of the house, due to Rudy never making a huge deal about them leaving the house (had he been an actual kid, he’d have a meltdown over Zenith leaving).

I knew the truth, though.
Ever since Zenith had gotten pregnant, Paul had been forced to go without sex. And he was an especially lustful man who’d been sneaking into Lilia’s room in the middle of the night. If I’d been an actual kid, I would have thought they were just playing cards or something. Unfortunately, I knew all too well what was really going on. They weren’t playing any game of Old Maid; there was playing around, and there was a maid involved, but this was no mere round of cards. Still, I wish they’d been more careful. Which is probably what both of them were thinking, too.

I could excuse an actual child withholding this kind of information from a parent. Rudy has no excuse.

Hello, boys and girls! The phrase of the day is “You can do it!” Today we’ll be learning all about the importance of contraception! Part of me wanted to say that to Paul with a completely deadpan face, but I wasn’t sure if the concept of contraception was even a thing in this world. And obviously it wasn’t like I wanted to tear the whole family apart by spilling the beans. Also, if I messed with the maid, I was pretty sure she’d never forgive me.

Who fucking cares if the maid never forgives you? What about your mother’s feelings and boundaries?!

Besides, I owed Paul for helping me through that incident with Sylphie. I’d let this one slide.
Fuck you, Rudy.

He went behind your mother’s back. She’s been nothing but kind and supportive of your endeavors.

Being a guy who all the chicks were hot for seemed tough. If they suspected him, I’d cover for him. Heck, I’d lie to give him an alibi if I had to. Having come to that decision, I looked over at Paul, letting him know with my eyes that he had nothing to worry about.

I didn’t think it was possible to hate Rudy even more.

At the same time, however, Zenith shot a look right over at Paul, her shocked assumption plain on her face. Conveniently enough, our gazes both fell upon Paul as one, bearing down on him.


“Uh, sorry,” he blurted. “This child is, uh…probably mine.”

The only redeemable thing about Paul is that he’s coming clean.

Good grief. Really? Well, no; I suppose I should commend the man for being honest. Seeing as how he constantly told me to “be honest” and “be a real man” and “be sure to protect women” and “never impugn your sense of honor” and other high-and-mighty stuff
like that day in and day out, the least he could do was practice what he preached.
Said the unemployed leech who stunk up his parent’s house.
Well, whatever. I couldn’t say I hated him for it.
He betrayed your mother’s trust. You should fucking hate him for tearing the family apart.
Anyway, this really was the worst-case scenario. That sentiment solidified as I watched Zenith draw herself up to her full height, her face livid, her hand rising into the air. And thus was convened an emergency family meeting, with Lilia included.
Isn’t it real interesting that we don’t really get to hear from Zenith at all?

So, we cut to the meeting.
It was Zenith who first broke the silence. She had the authority in this meeting. “So, what are we going to do?”

From what I could see, she was as calm as anything. Instead of going into a fit of hysterics over how her husband had cheated on her, she’d contented herself with a single smack. A red mark like a maple leaf spread across Paul’s cheek.

Dunno, I’d be down to see Zenith kick Paul to the curb and give us some divorce drama. It’d be fun but Author-San is allergic to following up on interesting ideas.

“After I’ve assisted with the lady of the house’s birth,” Lilia said, “I assume I would take my leave from your home.”

She seemed rather composed, too. Maybe this was a common occurrence in this world? The maid becomes her employer’s mistress; if people object, she just leaves the house.
Or maybe, just maybe Lilia’s morals have kicked in and she doesn’t want to be a walking reminder of Paul’s infidelity around Zenith?

A pitiful story like that would normally turn me on, but under the circumstances, I didn’t so much as twitch. I still had principles. Unlike Paul.

You were ready to fly cover for him, sociopathic shithead.

Paul was all huddled up in a corner. So much for paternal dignity.
What else should he do but shut up to avoid incurring Zenith’s wrath?



“What about the child?” Zenith asked.

“I was thinking I would give birth here in Fittoa, and then raise the baby back in my hometown,” Lilia replied.

“You’re originally from the south, yes?”

“That’s right.”

“You’re going to be physically exhausted after the birth,” Zenith said. “You’ll be in no condition to make a long journey.”

“Perhaps so, but I have nowhere else to turn.”


Zenith is way too good for Rudy and Paul. She deserves so much better than all of this.

The Fittoa Region was in the northeastern part of the Asura Kingdom. Based on my understanding, to reach what was considered

“the south” in this context took close to a month and required switching between multiple stagecoaches. Still, that was a month traveling through safe lands with good weather, and riding in stagecoaches wasn’t terribly arduous.

That, however, was for a typical traveler. Lilia had no money. She couldn’t afford to ride on stagecoaches, and would have go on foot. Even if the Greyrats paid for her travel expenses, that didn’t make it any less risky. She’d be a woman, traveling by herself, having recently given birth. If I were a bad guy and spotted her, what would I do?

Rudy putting himself in the feet of potential predators is pretty on brand for him.

I would attack her. She was an obvious sitting duck, practically begging for someone to take a shot at her. Take the child hostage, keep the mother distracted with empty promises. Meanwhile, take all her money and possessions. I’d gathered that slavery was a thing in this world, so in the end, I’d sell off both mother and child, and that would be that.

Of course you would, pedophile. Of course you would.

Of course, if Lilia didn’t survive the journey, neither would the child. Even if she simply fell ill, if she didn’t have money to see a doctor, she was done for. I suddenly had the mental image of Lilia lying dead in the midst of a blizzard, baby cradled in her arms. I, for
one, didn’t want to see her suffer that sort of fate.

And you don’t think Zenith wouldn’t find a way to make arrangements so that wouldn’t happen? I’m sure she would not out of obligation for Lilia, but just on the fact that the baby is Rudy’s sibling.

“Dear,” Paul started to stay, “surely she could just sta—”

“You keep your mouth shut!” Zenith snapped, cutting him off. He shrank like a scolded child. This was definitely one instance where he had no right to speak. Paul was useless here. Zenith chewed on her nails with a look of consternation. She was clearly conflicted as well. She didn’t want Lilia to suffer; on the contrary, the two were quite good friends. Considering how they’d
spent the last six years running this household together, it was probably fair to say they were best friends.

Zenith is the real victim in all of this. Paul was definitely abusing his power over Lilia, but Zenith doesn’t deserve any of this.

The fact that Zenith was able to keep her cool seemed connected to Lilia’s own attitude; she hadn’t tried to talk her way out of anything, and had taken full responsibility for betraying a household she’d served for so long.

If you asked me, though, it was Paul who ought to be taking responsibility here. It was weird to lay the blame solely on Lilia. Very, very weird. I couldn’t allow us to part on such weird terms.

I decided that I was going to help Lilia.

Okay cool, you care about her well being eno—-

But most importantly, more than anything else—She knew about my treasured panties and had kept silent about it.

Should have known better at this point that he wasn’t being selfless. He just wants to keep his enabler around.

Given that those panties have been sitting in a box for at least two years, his room must stink to high heavens.

We get a flashback of Lilia discovering the panties, but that scene is too fucking long as is and should’ve happened four chapters ago.

“Mother?” I asked, keeping my tone as childlike as I could. “How come everyone’s acting so glum about how I’m going to have two new siblings at once?”

I wanted to give off the naïve impression of: Hey, if Lilia’s pregnant, that means our family’s getting even bigger! Hooray!

Why’s everyone so upset about that?

“Because your father and Lilia did something they shouldn’t have,” Zenith said with a sigh, an unfathomable rage mixed in with those words. But it wasn’t directed at Lilia; Zenith knew full well who bore the brunt of the blame here.

“Oh, I see,” I said. “But is Lilia allowed to go against Father’s wishes?”

I mean, you could argue that Paul was abusing his position of power over Lilia. Kind of like Harvey Weinstein did.

What do you mean by that?” Zenith asked.

This wasn’t fair to Paul, but hey, he was reaping what he’d sown, here. I’d have to single-handedly try to cover up for Lilia’s indiscretions. My bad, Paul. I’d have repay him for Sylphie some other time.

“Well, I know that Father has some leverage over her.”

“What? Is this true?” Zenith said, looking over at Lilia in surprise.

He’s… her employer. OF COURSE HE HAS FUCKING LEVERAGE OVER HER! How would you not know that?!

Lilia was as stone-faced as ever, though she did raise a curious eyebrow, as if my assertion had been on the mark. Did Paul actually have something on her? Based on the usual stuff I’d heard and seen,

it seemed more likely to me that Lilia had something on Paul, but…

No, never mind. I had my opening here. “A while ago, I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and as I was passing by Lilia’s room, I heard Father say something like… ‘If you don’t want me to tell anyone, spread your legs!’”

“Huh?!” Paul blurted. “Dammit, Rudy, what the hell are—”

I have no comment on this other than, Paul deserves it.

”You shut up!” Zenith snapped, putting him in check. “Lilia, is this true?”

Lilia’s gaze wandered. “Um, so, well, actually…”

Was I actually on the mark? Or was she just playing along?

“Ah, I see,” Zenith replied, seeming to come to an understanding of things. “You can’t bring yourself to say it out loud.”

Paul’s eyes blinked over and over, his mouth opening and closing repeatedly like a goldfish’s, no words coming out. Perfect.

Time to wrap this all up.

“Mother, I don’t think Lilia is to blame.”

“I suppose not.”

“I think Father is to blame.”

“I suppose so.”

“It isn’t right that Lilia is in such a hard position because of something that was Father’s fault.”

“Mmm. I suppose.”

My mother’s responses were more noncommittal than I’d hoped. I just needed to push a little further. “I have fun playing with Sylphie every day, so I think it’ll be really nice that my little brother or sister will have someone the same age to be friends with!”

“I…suppose, yes.”

“And besides, Mother, they’d both be little brothers or sisters to me!”

“All right, Rudy. I get it. You win.” Zenith let out a heavy sigh. Jeez, way to give me a hard time about it, Mom.

Once again, Zenith deserves far better than everyone in her life.

”Lilia, I insist you stay with us,” Zenith pronounced. “You’re family at this point! I am not letting you do something as foolish as leave!”

This is the accompanying illustration we are given:

IMG_1556.webp

Paul’s face looks fucking weird for some reason, and I can’t put my finger on why. I’m not referring to the slap mark, either.

And so, with all of the responsibility laid squarely on Paul, we got through things without further issue. By the end, Zenith was looking at him with the cold dispassion of someone who was about to slaughter a pig.

As she should.

My balls tensed up in anticipation of what punishment she might unleash upon him.

Good fucking lord, why was this written?

With that look still in her eyes, though, Zenith simply returned to her room. Lilia was crying, her face blank and expressionless, but tears streamed from her eyes. Paul looked conflicted about whether he should put his arms around her or not. For the time being, I was going to let the playboy do his thing.

“Shut up, Rudy!”

I followed after Zenith. If this situation wound up with her and Paul getting divorced, that would create its own host of problems. I knocked on the bedroom door, and Zenith poked her head out.

“Mother,” I said, deciding to just cut right to the chase, “the stuff I said earlier was a lie I just made up. Please don’t hate Father.”

She.has.every.right.to.hate.him.

For a moment, Zenith was taken aback, but then she grimaced and gently patted my head. “I know, sweetie. I would never have fallen in love with a man who was that terrible,” she said. “Your father’s got a weakness for women, so I’d prepared myself for the day something like this might happen. It was just a bit sudden, is all.”

“Father has a weakness for women?” I asked, playing ignorant.

“Yes. Not as much in more recent times, but back in the day he was pretty indiscriminate. You might have older brothers and sisters out there that we don’t know about, Rudy.”

Zenith is such a doormat, holy shit. Stick up for yourself, woman! Stop enabling Paul.

“Make sure you don’t grow up to be someone like that, okay, Rudy?” She rubbed—no, gripped the top of my head even more firmly. “Make sure you treat Sylphie real nice, okay, Rudy?”

Knowing full well what happens in future chapters, this lesson is falling on deaf ears. Truly tragic.

Anyways, we skip over to Lilia’s point of view.

I’ll just come out and say it: I was the one who seduced Paul.

Just like that, my sympathy has vanished.

Watching him reminded me of our first time. We were still so young, back when he was staying at the training hall where we practiced. Paul snuck into my room at night and forcibly had his way with me. I didn’t dislike him, but I certainly didn’t love him back. It wasn’t exactly the most romantic encounter. I’d cried, at first.

Nevermind what I just said, this is among one of the more horrifying things I’ve read in this Isekai slop. Pedophilia and rape in one book.

The fact that she still harbors feelings for her rapist, and then spends two paragraphs blaming herself is pretty tragic. It’s too bad that the author has clearly based his knowledge of rape and sexual assault purely from hentai, otherwise I don’t think this is something the fandom would just overlook about Paul.

Several months passed without anything especially major happening.

Sylphie was growing remarkably fast. She was now able to cast Intermediate-level spells without incantations, and she was reaching the point where she could pull off some pretty subtle effects. In comparison, my skill with the sword was relatively unchanged. I’d gotten decent, but I hadn’t managed to win a single round against Paul so far, so it was difficult to get too excited about my progress.

This book is at least 90% walls of text.

Lilia’s attitude had softened as well. Previously, she’d always been on her guard around me—but since I’d been messing around with magic since I was a little kid, that was only natural. While nothing had really changed about her lack of overt emotion, I felt her words and her mannerisms now bore an overwhelming sense of reverence for me. I got that she was happy about my help, but I wished she’d tone it down.

I wish she’d get some therapy or something.

If nothing else, ever since that incident, Lilia had begun to talk to me a little—mostly old stories about Paul. Apparently, they had both studied swordplay at the same training hall many years back.

This is sad in hindsight. I don’t need to elaborate.

Or how Paul would skip training in order to
gallivant around town. Or how Paul had forced himself on her in the middle of the night and taken her virtue. Or how Paul had eventually fled the training hall.

Of all people to trauma dump on, why a presumably six year old child?! Why the fuck would you tell a six year old child that their father is a rapist?????!!
What the fuck is wrong with people in this Isekai world?!!

The more she told me about the past, the more my opinion of Paul dropped. He was a rapist and a cheater. He was trash.
Finally, some self awareness in the story.

Still, it wasn’t like he was rotten to the core. He was childish, irresponsible, and something about that seemed to tickle women’s maternal instincts. He tried to be a good, strict father to me, but he wasn’t good at keeping up that facade; when he set his mind to it, he
mostly just came across as frank and straightforward, and I knew for sure he wasn’t a bad guy through and through.

Why am I not surprised about a literal pedophile coming to the defense of a rapist?

“C’mon, look at me,” Paul said, pulling me out of my daze. We were in the middle of sword practice. “Don’t you want to grow up to be a cool guy like your dad?”

The nerve of this guy, honestly.

“Is it cool to be a guy who cheats on his wife and risks tearing his family apart?”

“Ngh…” Paul grimaced.

At the look on his face, I resolved to be a bit more careful. I was supposed to be young and oblivious. I didn’t cheat on anyone—girls could come to me of their own accord. That’s how I’d handle things.

“Look,” I said, “if that bothers you so much to hear, could you please keep your hands off of anyone who isn’t Mother?”

“O-other than Lilia, right?”

This man had learned nothing.

“Next time, Mother might move back in with her family without saying a word, you know.”

“Guh.”

My contempt for both characters becomes stronger with each scene they’re in together.

Was this guy hoping to build himself a harem? To have some secret retirement out in the sticks, where he had a beautiful wife, a maid he could get handsy with whenever he wanted, and a son to train in the way of the sword?

Obviously he is. Don’t know what else to say except that he’s a cheating rapist who deserves to die horribly. I hope Zenith sets him on fire.

Huh. That made me kind of jealous. That was probably the best ending from his perspective. It’d be like winding up with both Louise and Siesta at the end of that one light novel series. Maybe, rather than being oblivious, I should try to learn from his example?

Every single bad thing that happens to him from here on out is 100% deserved. I don’t care if he didn’t do anything to anyone who persecutes him; it’s divine karma.

When it came to video games, if nothing else, I was fond of girls, and loved harems. Perhaps, on an intrinsic level, I was the same sort of womanizer that Paul was.

Something tells me that Rudy is a huge Blue Archive fan.

Skipping over a few months, Zenith and Lilia give birth.

It was a girl. I had a little sister. I was glad it wasn’t a little brother.

Because a brother is more likely to hold you accountable for being a reprehensible degenerate?

Zenith’s daughter was named Norn. Lilia’s daughter was named Aisha.

Since I was spoiled and informed that Aisha grows up to be every bit as a pedophile as Rudy, I wish she’d was a stillbirth.

The chapter ends there. I hate how the author treats Lilia and Zenith. I want Paul and Rudy to die horribly.

That is all for now. We are mercifully close to the conclusion of Volume 1.
 
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The only "somewhat" non degenerate way to write reborn isekai (besides not having romance) is to have the main character be amnesiac to his past life up until the age he passed away so it doesn't make every social interaction reek of pedophilia.
This would be terrible narratively.
@Kiwisee formatting shat itself
 
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