Kiwisee
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2021
My apologies for a lack of update. I thought I posted it, but for some reason it stayed in drafts.
Chapter 5
Getting back into this first volume, we are finally close to the halfway point of the book. So far it’s been exposition dump after exposition dump, with very little conflict to speak of. In my humble opinion, there's a bit of fat that could have been cut out in the second and third chapters. I've been told that much of the exposition doesn't become relevant until a few more volumes down the line.
Without further ado, let’s pick up where we left off.
I'm not touching the “fifteen being an adult makes a lot of sense” line knowing who is saying that.
We, the dear reader, are gifted with this image.
Anyways, the day after his 5th birthday we are treated with a page of Rudeus explaining why sword fighting is important in this world.
Maybe its more “advanced” because guns apparently haven't been invented yet? I don't know if guns will show up in this series, haven't read that far ahead. I guess there was a missed opportunity for Rudeus to become a magic wielding gunslinger of sorts.
Right?
Like I said earlier, a magic gun sounds like it would be way more effective.
But what do I know? I don't write light novels.
You know what would have been a better way to lore dump on the reader?
FUCKING HAVE PAUL EXPLAIN THIS SHIT TO RUDY AND THE READERS WHILE TRAINING! A simple “This method is called” *Swings sword* “And this method is called the swinging monkey” *Fwoosh* “And this is the Peter Griffin style”.
It'd be an opportunity to also let Paul tell Rudeus about his adventures. It would feel more organic than giving us another five pages of exposition.
Once again, it would have been better to just have Paul explain why he practices one style over the other. You don't have to go into excruciating detail about all the styles, you could just have Paul say “once you learn Sword God style, the other two will come naturally” or something like that.
I can't believe the publishers thought this standard was acceptable. Do they not have editors in Japan or something to inform the author?
Why didn't you say that four pages ago?!
As much as I appreciate seeing dialogue, after five pages of nothing between these two, I have to say that it suffers from the same thing most anime does.
It feels stiff and unnatural. If I were to remove the character names, I wouldn’t be able to pick out their voice. Paul comes off as someone who would use a lot more slang compared to Zenith, albeit a bit crude. Dialogue helps with that.
Then again, what do I know? I'm not a writer of peak fiction.
Maybe because you're a beginner and need to get the basics down first.
I mean, training a five year old seems a bit too early for that.
Then whats the fucking problem?!
Who could have guessed? I'm shocked I say, shocked!
Uh huh…
I'm still bothered by the stiff dialogue. I'll chalk it up to poor translation.
I could have sworn we already covered this territory at least several times by this point. We get it: you were a freeloading incel in your previous life and want to take advantage of getting a second chance.
CAN WE GET SOME FUCKING CONFLICT ALREADY?
How many more training scenes are we going to get in this book?
This feels like information you'd put in the companion guidebook, or at least in the back of the novel.
Honestly, all I see is another missed opportunity. Wouldn't diseases be a lot deadlier in a world of magic because of the potential for wizards to manipulate cells?
Oh wait, Disney did that decades ago when Merlin turned himself into a germ!
I get the feeling that science isn't going to play a role in Rudy’s magic during future battles, as interesting as that would be.
As implied earlier, a wizard that understands science sounds like a far more formidable foe than one that chooses to disregard it.
Is this from a lack of education, that is hidden behind a paywall? Is it because the knowledge of magic is only accessible to the wealthiest of society?
Or is it because our protagonist is super special awesome?
I'll let you guess.
Once again, why?
I've heard that this series at one point devolves into degenerate Harry Potter. I'm dreading it already.
Isn't it interesting that Roxy is given space to tell us a little but about herself, while Rudy’s parents aren’t?
So they spend the next several paragraphs giving us a lore dump about magic education. The schools discriminate against demons because the people of this world treat the war from 400 years ago like its the holocaust to this day.
So we’re back here.
Wouldn't it be more impactful if Rudy became dead set on becoming a knight mage, regardless of Roxy and Paul’s opinions? For example, he reads about the occupation and becomes obsessed with a particular hero; then tells Paul he wants to follow in those footsteps? And said hero is a righteous mage knight who is legendary for protecting the vulnerable, ala like Robin Hood or King Arthur?
Not only would it be a more natural way to expand on world building, but it would make Rudy wanting to better himself feel more genuine.
Finally, something resembling conflict. About time, too.
That's all for this chapter.
Chapter 5
Getting back into this first volume, we are finally close to the halfway point of the book. So far it’s been exposition dump after exposition dump, with very little conflict to speak of. In my humble opinion, there's a bit of fat that could have been cut out in the second and third chapters. I've been told that much of the exposition doesn't become relevant until a few more volumes down the line.
Without further ado, let’s pick up where we left off.
About fucking time.I was now five.
What about 20, 25, 30, 35 and so on? Do birthdays stop being a thing once you hit adulthood?We had a small party to celebrate my birthday. Birthdays weren’t a yearly celebration in these lands. At ages five, ten, and fifteen, it was customary for one’s family to give gifts. You wereconsidered an adult at fifteen, so that made a lot of sense.
I'm not touching the “fifteen being an adult makes a lot of sense” line knowing who is saying that.
Picturing a kindergartener running around with a long sword sounds like a recipie for disaster. Good thing Rudeus isn't as retarded as your average five year old, or disaster would strike.Paul gifted me with a pair of swords for my birthday. One was a real sword, too long and heavy for a five-year-old to wield; the other was a short practice sword. The real sword had been properly tempered and bore a fine edge. It definitely wasn’t something suitable for a little kid.
It sounds like a truly riveting speech from Paul but if it’s anything like the previous chapters, I feel like had Zenith not stopped him we would get a several page exposition dump.“Son, a man must always carry a sword within his heart. In order to protect what’s important to you, you…” My father started a long, rambling stream of advice, and I just smiled and nodded. His spiel had a friendly and energetic air to it, but in the end, even Zenith chided him for going on too long. Admonished, he smiled and wrapped up with, “Just remember to keep it put away when you don’t need it.”
We, the dear reader, are gifted with this image.
Anyways, the day after his 5th birthday we are treated with a page of Rudeus explaining why sword fighting is important in this world.
Given that background, the art of the blade was far more advanced in this world than it was in my old one. A master swordsman could cleave a boulder in a single stroke, or unleash a flash of the blade to strike a distant foe.
Maybe its more “advanced” because guns apparently haven't been invented yet? I don't know if guns will show up in this series, haven't read that far ahead. I guess there was a missed opportunity for Rudeus to become a magic wielding gunslinger of sorts.
You're gonna show us, and not tell us.This was just conjecture on my part, but it seemed to me that, in this world, magic was woven into the art of swordplay. It was visibly different from the flashy magical effects created by spellcraft, and instead worked by improving one’s physical prowess and strengthening the metal of the sword itself. How else would it be possible to move at such blinding speeds or slice a huge rock in two?
Right?
Paul wasn’t using magic consciously. That was why he couldn’t explain how he did what he did. It meant that once I was able to reproduce what he did, I’d be able to use magic to give myself a physical boost. I had to stick with it.
Like I said earlier, a magic gun sounds like it would be way more effective.
But what do I know? I don't write light novels.
In this world, there were three primary schools of swordplay. First was the Sword God Style. This style maintained that the best defense was a good offense and focused on high-speed moves with the goal of striking one’s opponent first—ideally finishing the fight with a single blow. If the opponent was still standing, the practitioner would continue to strike and feint back until they were victorious. If I had to compare it to something from my old world, the closest thing would be Satsuma Jigen-ryu.
You know what would have been a better way to lore dump on the reader?
FUCKING HAVE PAUL EXPLAIN THIS SHIT TO RUDY AND THE READERS WHILE TRAINING! A simple “This method is called” *Swings sword* “And this method is called the swinging monkey” *Fwoosh* “And this is the Peter Griffin style”.
It'd be an opportunity to also let Paul tell Rudeus about his adventures. It would feel more organic than giving us another five pages of exposition.
In reality, while Paul chiefly practiced Sword God Style, there was a smattering of Water God and North God elements included in there. It seemed that most people didn’t head out into the world deciding to exclusively adhere to one style or another.
Once again, it would have been better to just have Paul explain why he practices one style over the other. You don't have to go into excruciating detail about all the styles, you could just have Paul say “once you learn Sword God style, the other two will come naturally” or something like that.
I can't believe the publishers thought this standard was acceptable. Do they not have editors in Japan or something to inform the author?
Paul decided that I would learn both the Sword God Style and Water God Style: the former to get a good handle on offense and thelatter for defense.
Why didn't you say that four pages ago?!
“But Father,” I asked, “based on what you’ve told me, it sounds like North God Style is the most balanced of the three.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. It’s not even a style—it’s just using a sword to fight with, really.”
“Oh, I see.” North God Style was clearly the odd one out of the Three Great Styles. Either that, or Paul just wasn’t fond of it personally. Though he was rather good at the style for someone who didn’t like it.
“You’ve got a knack for magic, Rudy, but it doesn’t hurt to learn the sword as well. You want to be a magician who can fend off an attack from someone who can use Sword God Style.”
“So, you’re saying I’d be, like, a mage knight?”
“Hm? No, a mage knight is a swordsman who can also use magic. You’re the opposite of that.”
As much as I appreciate seeing dialogue, after five pages of nothing between these two, I have to say that it suffers from the same thing most anime does.
It feels stiff and unnatural. If I were to remove the character names, I wouldn’t be able to pick out their voice. Paul comes off as someone who would use a lot more slang compared to Zenith, albeit a bit crude. Dialogue helps with that.
Then again, what do I know? I'm not a writer of peak fiction.
The issue was that Paul couldn’t teach me how to magically boost my physical prowess because he wasn’t consciously aware of how he did it. I either needed to acquire the ability myself or attain it via the right physical training. I needed to figure out the principle at work.
Maybe because you're a beginner and need to get the basics down first.
For a moment, Paul was lost in thought, an uneasy expression on his face. “You don’t like swordplay, do you?” he finally asked.
I mean, training a five year old seems a bit too early for that.
Was he saying that just because I had an aptitude for magic? He must have been worried that I didn’t want to train in the sword. Don’t get me wrong: I had no problem practicing how to use a sword.
Then whats the fucking problem?!
I just preferred time alone with Roxy studying magic over getting dirty and sweaty with another guy in the yard.
I was an indoors sort of guy.
Who could have guessed? I'm shocked I say, shocked!
But hey, personal preferences couldn’t get in the way of things. I’d decided to put my best effort into my second shot at life, and that meant trying my best at magic and the sword alike.
“No,” I said, “I want to be as good at swordplay as I am at
magic.”
Uh huh…
Paul flushed with pride and nodded happily as he brought his wooden practice sword to bear. “All right, then. Let’s get to it. Come at me!”
I'm still bothered by the stiff dialogue. I'll chalk it up to poor translation.
Swords and sorcery. I wasn’t sure which I’d ultimately come to rely on. Honestly, I’d be cool with it either way. But it was also my duty to establish a good bond with my parents while I was young.
“All right, Father!” I called out.
In my past life, I’d been a burden to my parents till the day they died. If I’d been nicer to them, maybe my siblings wouldn’t have kicked me out of the house. I needed to be better to my parents this time around.
I could have sworn we already covered this territory at least several times by this point. We get it: you were a freeloading incel in your previous life and want to take advantage of getting a second chance.
CAN WE GET SOME FUCKING CONFLICT ALREADY?
While I was taking my first steps in sword training, my magical studies were taking on a more technical and practical bent.
“What would happen if you cast Waterfall, Heat Island, and Icicle Field in that order?” Roxy asked.
“You’d create mist.”
“Correct. And how would you go about clearing up that mist?”
“Umm…cast Heat Island again and heat up the ground?”
“Exactly. Now, please demonstrate, if you would.”
How many more training scenes are we going to get in this book?
By using spells from different schools in succession, it was possible to create other phenomena. This was known as Combined Magic. A Textbook of Magic included a spell for making rain, but had nothing about creating mist. Therefore, magicians had to use spells from multiple schools in sequence. This allowed for the reproduction of various natural phenomena.
This feels like information you'd put in the companion guidebook, or at least in the back of the novel.
This was a world without microscopes. They probably hadn’t discovered all of the principles that governed the natural world. Combined Magic contained all the creative genius of the great wizards of old.
Honestly, all I see is another missed opportunity. Wouldn't diseases be a lot deadlier in a world of magic because of the potential for wizards to manipulate cells?
Oh wait, Disney did that decades ago when Merlin turned himself into a germ!
I get the feeling that science isn't going to play a role in Rudy’s magic during future battles, as interesting as that would be.
Well, I didn’t need to bother with that kind of nonsense. If I wanted to create a cloud, I’d just use a spell that made rain fall and cast it as close to the ground as possible.
As implied earlier, a wizard that understands science sounds like a far more formidable foe than one that chooses to disregard it.
“Do magicians get hit with a lot of problems in their line ofwork?” I asked.
“Oh, yes. There aren’t that many users of Advanced magic around, after all.”
They said that maybe only one in twenty people could learn to fight. And to find a magician among them had the same twenty-to- one odds. So, four-hundred-to-one odds of finding a capable magician, then.
Is this from a lack of education, that is hidden behind a paywall? Is it because the knowledge of magic is only accessible to the wealthiest of society?
Or is it because our protagonist is super special awesome?
I'll let you guess.
That meant that Advanced-tier magicians were a one-in-forty-thousand deal. If we included Beginner and Intermediate spells in the mix, the number of things Combined Magic could do increased dramatically—which in turn made it so popular. To be a magic tutor around these parts, one needed to be at the Advanced tier or higher.Steep requirements, but they yielded powerful results.
Once again, why?
“So, there are magic schools?” I asked.
I've heard that this series at one point devolves into degenerate Harry Potter. I'm dreading it already.
“Yes. There are magic schools all over the place in the major kingdoms.”
I’d assumed as much, but still—magic school? Huh. Should I give that a try? Move on to my schoolboy arc?
“Though the largest,” Roxy continued, “is the Ranoa University of Magic.”
Whoa, they even had universities for that sort of thing?
“Is this university different from the other magic schools?” I asked.
“They have excellent facilities and a faculty to match. You’d have access to more modern and advanced courses there than at other schools, I’d imagine.”
“Did you go to the University of Magic, too, Miss Roxy?”
“I did. Magic schools have very strict rules and regulations, so the University of Magic was the only school I could get into.”
Isn't it interesting that Roxy is given space to tell us a little but about herself, while Rudy’s parents aren’t?
So they spend the next several paragraphs giving us a lore dump about magic education. The schools discriminate against demons because the people of this world treat the war from 400 years ago like its the holocaust to this day.
“I think it’s a little early to make that sort of decision,” I murmured.
“Indeed. You could also fulfil Sir Paul’s hopes of you becoming a swordsman or a knight. And there are people who’ve attained the title of knight who have also attended the University of Magic. Don’t think your choice is an exclusive one between swords or sorcery. You could always become a mage knight or something, after all.”
So we’re back here.
Wouldn't it be more impactful if Rudy became dead set on becoming a knight mage, regardless of Roxy and Paul’s opinions? For example, he reads about the occupation and becomes obsessed with a particular hero; then tells Paul he wants to follow in those footsteps? And said hero is a righteous mage knight who is legendary for protecting the vulnerable, ala like Robin Hood or King Arthur?
Not only would it be a more natural way to expand on world building, but it would make Rudy wanting to better himself feel more genuine.
“We’re talking about stuff well into the future, right?” I said.
“For you, Rudy, yes.” Roxy flashed a forlorn smile. “Pretty soon, however, I’ll run out of things I can teach you. Your graduation is coming up very soon, so this sort of conversation isn’t too premature.”
Wait—graduation?
Finally, something resembling conflict. About time, too.
That's all for this chapter.
