🐮 Lolcow Jeffrey Leibowitz / Not Dead Yet

[AnOminous]

I would not be opposed to having a crow friend but I don't feel entitled to their attention. I just think they're neat.

I like them because I hate the other birds they keep away. No irritating chirping in the morning. Just the occasional terrified burst of "oh fuck it's a crow" chirping when they show up. A lot of birds actually have specific chirps for when crows, bluejays, and other based corvids show up.

Nah keeping any wildlife is a big no, no, even if it's endemic.

I think there should be a case by case analysis. Birds may be a case where their "flight risk" makes it cruel solely because you have to keep them from escaping at all. That's not going to appeal to a crow or a raven.

At the same time, ferrets are often a pet, even if a fairly demanding one.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Or a caecilian.

I don't think humans are easy pets. Oh, you said caecilian, not Sicilian.

 

[DickMain]

But fuck dude it only takes the right circumstances to create an invasive species problem, see the fucking everglades and the lion fish in the atlantic.

Circling back to the fact that we're talking Australian snakes to begin with, and just look how importing the cane toad ended up for them.

They may seem goofy, but Fish & Game have damn good reasons for putting up mandatory watercraft checkpoints in my state for mussels. You can also look to the Great Lake states in the US for just how destructive invasive species can be.

 

[nvrwastetree]

I don't like snakes, I consider them to be the biggest assholes of the animal kingdom. Never gotten along with one and I don't see the point of having them as pets.

That being said: if this guy smuggled in a bunch of dangerous snakes for the purpose of grifting while taking terrible care of them (just so they could get put down), that sucks and they didn't deserve that.

Put the fucking chimpanzee with it as well. People are 100% mentally retarded if they own even a baby, because that motherfucker will grow up, get mad, kill your pets, then rip your face off while using your own hands to do the deed. I was ok with them until Travis, the overweight, spoiled, Xanax and alcohol addicted chimpanzee and what he did to poor Charla Nash. Funny how he ran right up to a police officer who responded to his owners 911 plea, then the bastard tried to attack him and got shot.

 

[Heed Not]

They basically have 4 options for content,
1. Make do with what animals are and just enjoy them.
2. Buy more animals
3. Shill animal products
4. Harass animals to do something for content

There was a time when I was going to get into breeding ball pythons (ages ago, never did) but I remember breeders having interesting videos back in the day. I guess it was more business management content and morph breeding data than "look how hard my snake slept all week". I don't have the space or interest nowadays to do it, but I imagine interesting reptile channels could exist.

 

[Drip Torch]

As far as anti-venom is for pussies? Damn right I am going to ask for anti-venom (if I can even speak at the time).
Pro-tip 1: Always identify what species bite you.
Pro-tip 2: Dont fuck with venomous snakes.

 

[Autistic Integrity]

Why not, you know, send it back to its native environment or to an animal sanctuary instead of crushing lingling the Panda's head between your thighs?

so risk wild life officers/polices lives (they don't have the antivenom either) to send it back to bumfuck Australia where it probably couldn't even survive because this dumbfuck raised it in a tupperwear? i guess the state should pay for it to get shipped and relocated the middle of nowhere in Australia?

 

[AnOminous]

They may seem goofy, but Fish & Game have damn good reasons for putting up mandatory watercraft checkpoints in my state for mussels. You can also look to the Great Lake states in the US for just how destructive invasive species can be.

Snakehead fish are a particularly awful aquatic invasive species. They absolutely wreck any other species, and they can even fucking walk on land and breathe air to go to new places, and fuck those up too.

Apparently they're really tasty, though. If we can get Amerimutts to enjoy eating them, we might finish them off.

Put the fucking chimpanzee with it as well.

Chimpanzees are the worst animals. Almost as bad as humans.

 

[Autistic Integrity]

Circling back to the fact that we're talking Australian snakes to begin with, and just look how importing the cane toad ended up for them.

They may seem goofy, but Fish & Game have damn good reasons for putting up mandatory watercraft checkpoints in my state for mussels. You can also look to the Great Lake states in the US for just how destructive invasive species can be.

theres this one invasive shellfish that just breeds like crazy and will clog up dams and take over

 

[Hitchhiker]

I don't think humans are easy pets. Oh, you said caecilian, not Sicilian.

Last time I tried to keep a Sicilian he just kept drinking all my wine and ordering pizzas.

I ended up just having to flush him down the toilet.

so risk wild life officers/polices lives (they don't have the antivenom either) to send it back to bumfuck Australia where it probably couldn't even survive because this dumbfuck raised it in a tupperwear? i guess the state should pay for it to get shipped and relocated the middle of nowhere in Australia?

Knowing Australia it would be an act of God if you could get an animal, especially a reptile, in or out of the country.

 

[DickMain]

Snakehead fish are a particularly awful aquatic invasive species. They absolutely wreck any other species, and they can even fucking walk on land and breathe air to go to new places, and fuck those up too.

Apparently they're really tasty, though. If we can get Amerimutts to enjoy eating them, we might finish them off.

And wouldn't you fucking know it, quirky exotic owners who can't care to take on the responsibility are the problem (per-wikipedia):

 

[The Wokest]

Why not, you know, send it back to its native environment

1 or 2 things.
Because after being pozzed by human captivity they are inept and can't be reintroduced to the wild
or
Who is gonna pay for that?

or to an animal sanctuary

Animal sanctuaries can be disguised shitty for profit zoos where the animals would suffer.
But let's say you're talking about a rehabilitative sanctuary... Who is gonna pay for that?

I think there should be a case by case analysis. Birds may be a case where their "flight risk" makes it cruel solely because you have to keep them from escaping at all. That's not going to appeal to a crow or a raven.

At the same time, ferrets are often a pet, even if a fairly demanding one.

Why bring up ferrets? we're talking about wildlife, ferrets are domestic animals.
If they are considered "demanding pets" is because they are meant to be work animals with a specific task, same reason why most people can't handle a working dog like a pyrenees.
You either get that ferret to be the vicious rabbit chasing assholes that we made them to be or they're gonna chew some cables boy!

 

[DickMain]

Why not, you know, send it back to its native environment or to an animal sanctuary instead of crushing lingling the Panda's head between your thighs?

Because among other things that have been mentioned lingling might have contracted some kind of parasite or stowaway not endemic to her own environment that you'd send back with her.

 

[Neodanthril]

Many times these laws don't make much sense

most laws exist in the united states exist for anarcho-tyrannical purposes. is incomprehensibility is by design to fuck you over specifically. now seems a good time to recall that the laws of draco, from which we derive the term draconian, were not actually created by him but he was instead merely writing down the law in athens, which was previously verbal. it was written down only at this relatively late date because the people knew that a verbal law was obviously prone to be abused and they wanted accountability regarding what the law actually was. once they could finally see the crazy bullshit they were actually subjected to, shit was wild for a few years. TPTB's attempt to return to form is cognizant of the dillema that if people can see what the law is they can bitch about it, so now there are so many laws that you can access in theory it is impossible to actually know the extant of what you are subjected to, and any attempt to resolve this state of affairs is met with bureaucratic intransigence.

 

[Heed Not]

Snakehead fish are a particularly awful aquatic invasive species. They absolutely wreck any other species, and they can even fucking walk on land and breathe air to go to new places, and fuck those up too.

Apparently they're really tasty, though. If we can get Amerimutts to enjoy eating them, we might finish them off.

A big issue is that invasive species also get into places where nobody's eating the wildlife that stay there in the first place. I checked the fish and game site for my area and every natural body of water is "do not eat" due to a high presence of both fat-stored and muscle stored bioaccumulated toxins from old pesticide and industrial runoff. You've gotta go to a stocked pond if you want to eat anything you catch, or out of the county.

 

[Autistic Integrity]

I'll even go as far as to say that I hope they arrest him for all the illegal snakes he had

 

[glass_houses]

Leibowitz had cancer? If it was in his brain, it might explain a few things.

 

[DapperShark]

For anyone wondering about the complexity of a reptile's neural processing compared to something similar to a human, I find this image is a good example:

View attachment 6408940

and this is just for visual processing, not higher level functions.

Pardon my autism but I feel like this is doing a disservice to reptiles, this image is comparing one of the simplest reptiles to one of the smarter mammals. Reptiles tend to be dismissed as 'lesser' compared to mammals but they have some of the smartest animals amongst them and are a lot more diverse and complex than people realize, corvids for example possess primate level intelligence (and yes birds actually are reptiles, as the last remnant of the dinosaurs they're part of the archosaur family, same as crocodilians, their closest relatives).

 

[Twrx]

A big issue is that invasive species also get into places where nobody's eating the wildlife that stay there in the first place. I checked the fish and game site for my area and every natural body of water is "do not eat" due to a high presence of both fat-stored and muscle stored bioaccumulated toxins from old pesticide and industrial runoff. You've gotta go to a stocked pond if you want to eat anything you catch, or out of the county.

I can't even shrimp at my favorite place that I spent from 11-15 years old shrimping now because of heavy mercury in the shrimp and fish in the pond. It's also catch and release only for fishing. It's now part of the main drag after the gate and won't be getting away with it.

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

This thread is like walking in at the end of a movie.

My god you have the most reacts I've ever seen!