This might be a bit of a gamble, due to how expensive it is but I did a bout of Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy last year and it did help me put a lot of things weighing me down behind me. It's not a panacea to any degree because you have to do your research and put the work in afterwards. If anything close to Schizophrenia runs in your family you won't be allowed to do this.
My biggest problems with alternative treatments are a) I'm not in the capital where majority of the studies on this happen and b) I wouldn't know where to get the stuff to potentially self-medicate.
Right now I'm putting all my money on my appointment tomorrow with the nurse who oversees my psychiatric medicine. If she can get me a referral to the psych ward, to see an actual doctor, I could potentially bring up the length of my medical treatment with little to no results, mention that I'd be very interested in alternative studies if I'm an eligible candidate etc.
To be completely honest, I'm at a point where I am more or less dead cert that the root of my depression is my disordered thinking and my diagnoses of various personality disorders
(I don't remember the exact wording from the last time I attempted to get a "full" diagnosis, but AVPD is a major player) so I'm not even sure how much my anti depressants are doing for me. My anti-anxiety meds definitely work as intended.
I hate that I am walking in circles, I am stuck in a Groundhog day loop and I have been for forever. The (self imposed) isolation, the inability to learn and move on, the constant feeling of being "Other".
You know, several days ago it hit me - cooking is my hobby because I am lonely and isolated, so it is the only way for me to get comfort without going anywhere. I don't know, maybe it is my low self-esteem.
Ain't that a mood.
Plus it's easy to make others happy through cooking.
Have you ever considered joining a cooking class? It's one of those things I think could be fun and I'd learn a lot, plus having to focus on something where I am somewhat in my comfort zone makes it easier to deal with the fact I'd be in a room with X amount of people.
i can come back should it get worse, i get medication before i go etc. blah. I feel a bit like they're fucking with me, it all has this unorganized and sorta unproffessional feel to it, not to mention a profound feeling of weirdness right from the beginning. I won't bitch too much because yay, i won't rot here over the holidays, but come on, first doc tells me i'll be here until after New Years, second doc, who saw me for the first time today, mind, says i'm good to go? I am not too sure about all this.![LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]](http://uploads.embed.kiwifarms.st/data/avatars/l/61/61177.jpg?1699571951){kind=avatar}
