How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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I guess the meds you mentioned not even one page ago stopped working.
On the contrary, the way they work is they make me more cognizant, and I'm cognizant enough to realize now that the whole I got myself into off my meds, responding to every anxious impulse of loneliness until I became a shell of myself, is not a hole I want to stay in. They're actually working as intended, giving me a desire to fix my shitty life. And you gotta realize it's shitty before you fix it.
Unless you'd be admitting to something illegal and immoral like touching kids inappropriately, and the friendship is over just because you aren't agreeing 1:1 on everything ("ew, you like MLP? We can't be friends") then there wasn't a whole lot of friendship to start with.
Enjoy whatever gives your life some whimsy. Be as true to yourself as you dare. Be free from other people's judgement. Believe me when I say that it's better to live in solitude, enjoying harmless things that hurts literally no one in the comfort of your own home than to be "popular" and hiding your true self.
If you wanna be a furry with a fursuit, go for it. If you want to hold hands with another woman, go for it. If you want to enjoy Bluey, go for it.

I get it, I really do. I would have a hard time putting a lid on the things that bring me joy in exchange for someone elses company. I don't tell the whole world about my anime plastic crap because the world doesn't need to know (ironic statement, I know) but it's not because I'm ashamed, it's because it's none of their business. But if I go join the other nerds in the local game store or comic book store, they would understand and we could share pictures of how we display our collections etc.
I think I get what you mean, I gotta live my truth, and I can't wait for the permission/validation of people who see my truth as a curse. This reply was very uplifting :)
 
Got a referral for TMS, called the place on Friday to make an appointment. Was unsuccessful. Seems like they have outsourced their appointment-making-people. I won't say to who, but you can probably guess. I was supposed to get a call back with more information but heard nothing, and they’re closed on weekends. I wanted to see if today I can call the facility directly but I've really lost the will to do so. I'm just so exhausted all the damn time. The treatment itself is also a huge commitment (5 days a week for at least 6 weeks) on top of being full time. I'm really at the end of my rope. I've considered going down to part time but then I lose health insurance, which I need in order to treat my stupid brain problems. But working full time means I have little energy or drive to fix said brain problems. You really can't win.
Consider if you're eligible for FMLA. You can take it in pieces, i.e. you could have one day per week off for the next few weeks, you don't need to take medical leave all in one chunk. It is unpaid but the benefit of taking FMLA instead of going to part-time is 1) keeping your benefits etc and 2) your employer should, at least in theory, not retaliate for you doing this in comparison to what you might give up from going part-time.



I randomly found somebody who specializes in giving lessons in the exact skill I want to learn. I hope they aren't trash.
 
I think the worst part of being an adult with a job is having to be financially responsible with what I earn. I have to save my money. I want to buy big eevee evolution plush from the pokemon center. I cannot. I must be responsible.
 
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