How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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For some reason my arm is numb but I can still move it. Going to see my doctor about it.
 
PetiteFeet said:
Sure.
It's a 6 months program divided into three modules with a 1 week stay at their facilities, then two months where I work on myself at home, learning about reframing my lifestyle to make overall healthier choices - the way I eat, the way I sleep, go grocery shopping, exercise and how I talk to myself.
The health professionals at the place are from various different branches of healthcare. Occupational therapists, dietitians, psychologists and more, and they teach various subjects like mindfulness, exercise in water, cooking, yoga and working one on one with an assigned contact person on what I want from this program.

It's basically to help build a solid foundation to make lifestyle changes, rather than your normal "diet" for weight loss, and to help me understand why I might be thinking in a defeatist way or if I don't feel physical changes immediately, to not get upset and to keep working on myself.
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What the hell, that sounds awesome. That sounds like the type of intensive care that could be super beneficial but isn't practised enough.

I experienced a super light version of that during my first stint in the psych ward.

All the best. I will be looking on with subtle envy-I mean, I will be cheering you on.
 
estacks said:
The Internet's just poisonous nowadays. The nasty brain worm looping thought days are the days I make an active effort to stay off every forum, news site, and every single avenue where people can pump their brain worms into my mind. The reality is the "normal person" is also sitting in anhedonia addicted to the cycle and the content we're seeing are fake lives and amplified outrage. Fake makeup caked faces, the best angles and posed body shots, rented Lambos and mansions. It's all fake garbage and encourages everyone to get insecure and spam toxins everywhere, then the algos pump the toxins up because seeing threats and outrage is incredibly addictive. It's almost impossible to look away. As such, the internet is my worst addiction and the one I wish I could break the most. It's very hard after growing up in a time where the internet was a place of friends, and learning, and exploring wondrous digital worlds. Now it's a human centipede of sludge.

The inpatient thing sounds like a godsend TBH. I loved rehab. Just sat around reading books and talking to people whose lives also sucked and realized how not alone I was in being sad about the world. Even if they allow it, in your position I wouldn't bring my phone. From what you've described it sounds like it'll be a great place to get started breaking out of mental sinkholes and forming healthy habits. Hope it works out for you.
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Ding ding ding, hit the nail on the head.
As much as I love the connections I've made over the years thanks to the Internet, I think it, PCs and video games in general have ruined my life.
Not because these things are inherently bad, but because I'm a person with low resilience since childhood and escapism & dopamine rushes rotted whatever potential I had, and I've suspected for quite a long time that I have an addictive personality on top of everything else.
If it hadn't been computers and video games, it would probably have become self-medicating with alcohol and weed.
I started staying away from social media platforms in general back in 2011ish. No facebook, no instagram, none of that. I had a twitter account that I used to follow certain vidya related personalities but I never really used the platform "properly".
Hell, even the farms can give you those brain worms. I try to limit my exposure to A&N and stick to my lolcow threads or benign threads like this one, but I definitely have moments where I engage in something akin to digital self-harm by going into threads that aren't good for me, if that makes sense. Political brainrot and IDPOL garbage is really, really bad for me.
A couple of christmasses ago I deliberately detoxed from the internet as a whole because I stayed at my parents' for the full month of December and man, I can't remember the last time I actually felt as good about myself as I did then. No PC, just my PS3/xbox 360 and my phone to entertain me.

I am honestly pretty excited for the in-patient program. Their patients aren't limited to only mentally ill landwhales, so it won't be solely focusing on my brand of disordered thinking. I'm not expecting to make friends for life in any capacity, but it'll do me a world of good to be forced to interact with other perspectives from different walks of life.
I won't be using my phone for anything, really. I'll bring my tablet for writing notes. I won't be going on discord or the farms for the duration of my stay, mostly because I'm a lazy creature and haven't put my login info from my pc onto my phone, so I can't keep check on A&N slapfights or doompilling news about yet more islamic terrorist attacks on the west.
DenseDeerFather said:
What the hell, that sounds awesome. That sounds like the type of intensive care that could be super beneficial but isn't practised enough.

I experienced a super light version of that during my first stint in the psych ward.

All the best. I will be looking on with subtle envy-I mean, I will be cheering you on.
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I didn't even know that such a thing was on offer, despite my many years "in the system". If it hadn't been for my tard wrangler, I wouldn't have found this program on my own. One of the few perks of being in a social democratic country, I guess.
I wish more people could be offered a similar type of program. It's not quite rehab and it's not quite an involuntary commitment.
 
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I was found at the entrance of my apartment building face-down and unconscious in a pool of blood on Tuesday night. I spent a couple of days at the hospital and I've been convalescing at home ever since. Tomorrow I go to the doctor to find out what the hell is wrong with me.
 
Hell is not fire and relentless, sweltering heat; it is bottomless cold. "Felt like" double-digits below zero outside today, per my weather app, doubling the amount below overnight. Just to do maybe 30 minutes of work outside, on top I had 6 layers, and on bottom 3, a pair of wool socks under another pair of smartwool socks, snow boots, a scarf, ski gloves + liners, and two wool hats), and after 10 minutes my fingertips were too painfully freezing to do anything and my arms could feel the cold. Obviously I am kind of a baby about the cold, but this is ridiculous. Especially for December - usually doesn't kick up until January.
PetiteFeet said:
Sure.
It's a 6 months program divided into three modules with a 1 week stay at their facilities, then two months where I work on myself at home, learning about reframing my lifestyle to make overall healthier choices - the way I eat, the way I sleep, go grocery shopping, exercise and how I talk to myself.
The health professionals at the place are from various different branches of healthcare. Occupational therapists, dietitians, psychologists and more, and they teach various subjects like mindfulness, exercise in water, cooking, yoga and working one on one with an assigned contact person on what I want from this program.

It's basically to help build a solid foundation to make lifestyle changes, rather than your normal "diet" for weight loss, and to help me understand why I might be thinking in a defeatist way or if I don't feel physical changes immediately, to not get upset and to keep working on myself.
Click to expand...
Thats an interesting and intriguing organization of the program. Whether for mental, substance, or food things, most of what I've heard of has either been some months of intensive outpatient, or your classic 30-day stay. Is this a private program? It really makes sense, because you have those three stays to ground you and build/next-level it. Honestly, a 2week stay each time might be even better, but a full week to be there and just have that focus is a great setup for then practicing on your own for a few months. Neat.
 
Gleam said:
For some reason my arm is numb but I can still move it. Going to see my doctor about it.
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Which one, a whole arm, and any pain at all? Did you wake up that way? Sleep on that arm? (Not that I know anything, but definitely go in. I've had my own saga that has turned out to be due to compression of a couple of major nerves due to some cervical disk degen + bone spurs adding to the loss of space for the nerves, plus muscles trying and failing to compensate. And fyi they told me that if ever if felt numbness in legs/ feet, go directly to the ER.)
 
Preferred Penne said:
I was found at the entrance of my apartment building face-down and unconscious in a pool of blood on Tuesday night. I spent a couple of days at the hospital and I've been convalescing at home ever since. Tomorrow I go to the doctor to find out what the hell is wrong with me.
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Horrifying, I hope you aren't suffering from something serious. Blackouts are never a good sign.
Friend of Dorothy Parker said:
hats an interesting and intriguing organization of the program. Whether for mental, substance, or food things, most of what I've heard of has either been some months of intensive outpatient, or your classic 30-day stay. Is this a private program? It really makes sense, because you have those three stays to ground you and build/next-level it. Honestly, a 2week stay each time might be even better, but a full week to be there and just have that focus is a great setup for then practicing on your own for a few months. Neat.
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It's offered by the public healthcare system, actually. But it's not offered by the municipality I currently live in, which is one of the reasons I wasn't aware of it.
On paper it reads like a Folk High school program but much shorter and more intensive.
I agree, I think a fortnight would give me more time to adjust to the daily schedule but we'll see how it goes. It'll be a culture shock for my system regardless.
Quijibo69 said:
Debating if I should do to landry today or before work tomorrow. :thinking:
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Do what you can today. It's better to stay on top of things ASAP instead of pushing it. That's one of the harsh lessons I've had to accept of being an adult.
 
PetiteFeet said:
Maybe I should just unplug my pc. Literally. Take it apart so I can't rot on my ass all day, every day, obsessing over situations I will never be in.
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Social media devastates your self esteem. This is a known and documented scientific fact. Unless you're like, some sort of impenetrable fortress of mental fortitude the shit that FB, Insta, TikTok, Youtube, etc. bombards you with is designed to get under your skin and make you feel awful about yourself in an effort to drive consumerism. This has always been a thing since the invention of marketing, but holy shit did Internet based social media change the game.

Disconnecting and touching grass is gonna be one of the things they talk to you about in your program. Comparing yourself to others is a natural human thing to do, but you also need to keep in mind that the playing field is not level and people cheat. Comparing yourself to others and saying I wish I looked like that or I wished I could do that is doing yourself a disservice if it doesn't inspire change or spark curiosity.
 
PetiteFeet said:
It's offered by the public healthcare system, actually. But it's not offered by the municipality I currently live in, which is one of the reasons I wasn't aware of it.
On paper it reads like a Folk High school program but much shorter and more intensive.
I agree, I think a fortnight would give me more time to adjust to the daily schedule but we'll see how it goes. It'll be a culture shock for my system regardless.
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I'm really glad you have that available, and that you're going. I really like the model.
PetiteFeet said:
Do what you can today. It's better to stay on top of things ASAP instead of pushing it. That's one of the harsh lessons I've had to accept of being an adult.
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100%. I struggle with it still, but over the last few years I've made it a priority and have gotten much, much better. At work, in particular, this has raised my performance 1000% (and yet, I still struggle. On Friday I closed out half a dozen projects (and pushed my leaders to make that possible, for which they thanked me)...yet I've got competing priorities for high-stakes stuff today (both work and home), which I'm poorly coping with by doing none so far. :mad:)
 
My dog is going to have to be put to sleep. She's fourteen years old. It's brutal, I have to act normal at work and at school. I'm not doing good.
 
Dizzyuntildeath said:
I'm sorry.
Is she sick or is it just her time?
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We're not sure... she's going to the vet tomorrow but there's nothing they can do for her. She was born on valentine's day. She's my little baby. It's crazy how the world just keeps going like normal while my whole world is falling apart. How does one even cope with this
 
Mike Patton Official said:
We're not sure... she's going to the vet tomorrow but there's nothing they can do for her. She was born on valentine's day. She's my little baby. It's crazy how the world just keeps going like normal while my whole world is falling apart. How does one even cope with this
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We sent our old girl on ahead this year, too. She was also 14. Coping? Just...get through the day. Telling you to be happy you had her, remember the good stuff? That's insulting in the moment.
But after and further down the line? I'm happy my girl got to meet my kids. And saying goodbye was hard for my oldest. Pups are protective of babies and they bonded quickly.
What's that saying? Too big to go around it; gotta go through it.
 
Mike Patton Official said:
My dog is going to have to be put to sleep. She's fourteen years old. It's brutal, I have to act normal at work and at school. I'm not doing good.
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Almost exactly as old as my golden retriever was when I had to put her to sleep. It's been years and I still cry like a wuss if I think about her too much.

It sucks. People will tell you you'll get over it. You won't. But life goes on.
 
Compared to everyone else I'm just glad things are boring.
Mom bought me a new tonneau cover for the truck, got that installed. Didn't fly on Saturday even with good weather as I needed the time to get caught up on stuff, like the tonneau cover, before driving down to see family for Christmas this coming week. Hoping for decent weather once I get back to actually get some flying before the end of the year.
The bedroom is "done" as the last part was getting the furniture attached to the walls to prevent crushing small children, also it does make it feel more stable.
Next up, laundry, so much laundry, then off to see family. Then maybe, finally, getting started moving into the office once I'm back. First step, pulling up all the construction floor protection I left in place for the last 2 years and making it look like a "normal person" lives here.
Surely this coming week I'll finally finish the on-boarding to the new customer at work just in time to disappear for a week. Insert repeated grumbling about how slow large companies are.
Otherwise... well.... boring.
 
Anyone doing anything interesting to their turkey this Christmas? I'm down to try new recipes.
 
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