How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[The Feline Solution 2]

I don't know if it'll be okay. It might not be okay. But even if it's not okay, you can still be okay. You can still get through it and be okay. You can.

It's so incredibely cliche and i have no real idea why but the "This shall also pass" quote by some assyrian king (as a history pleb i am probably way off the mark here) helped me keep my head over water for longer than i'd like to admit.

Edit:

Try a magnesium supplement. Glycinate is my favorite. Helps with sleep (take it before bed,) general depression and leg cramps. If you’re deficient it’ll end up giving you more energy during the day, too.

Those middle of the night, dead asleep leg muscle extinction events are fucking brutal and I haven’t had one since starting the magnesium.

For some ambulant help a teaspoon of table salt works from my experience. I had some brutal middle-of-the-night cramps due to malnutrition imposed by hard drug use in the past and that shit worked in a jiffy. Talking about some jump-up-in-the-middle-off-the-night brutal cramps here, it was so bad at one time it felt like i tore leg muscles and i felt it even a week after. But yeah, also seconding supplementing magnesium in general, most people don't get enough magnesium just from their diet.

 

[obsdj]

But yeah, also seconding supplementing magnesium in general, most people don't get enough magnesium just from their diet.

Be careful with magnesium supplements. Some of them can give you serious ongoing diarrhea. Don't ask me how I know.

 

[The Feline Solution 2]

Be careful with magnesium supplements. Some of them can give you serious ongoing diarrhea. Don't ask me how I know.

Pretty much any magnesium supplement that isn't glycinate runs right through you in my experience. I also read that the bioavailability for any non-glycinate magnesium is next to nothing.

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

I've been transferring my journal to a hyperlinked PDF format where I can very quickly navigate a year's entries instead of having to navigate a file directory.

Seeing old journal entries from my college days is makinng me cringe to death at what a whiny bitch I was.

Edit: Hey I found an entry where an (engaged) pretty girl said I was smart and acted a little twitterpated

Edit: "Thursday, June 18, 2025: I encounter a Black man while flying my drone at [REDACTED]"
WTF

 

[DenseDeerFather]

So I've been trying to allow myself to feel my little bitch feelings whenever those annoying bouts of despair decide to torpedo my entire day instead of trying to smother them.

It's a weird thing becusse supressing everything to the point where it physically hurts is like second nature to me and I do it so much, it's basically a reflex.

I've tried it once and it resulted in a minor depressive episode so I was wary but I gave it a go today and I think that, added with rambling and powerleveling about it afterwards here, does sort of help me avoid that massive crash in mood that usually happens afterwards.

Does all this sound incredibly gay and pathetic? Maybe but IDGAF, I may be a deer but I'm a human first and foremost.

So now I feel a little okay, somewhat floating above the spiral of misery that likes to come back and fuck me over like a bad ex while I pour my feelings out.

Suppose it's just nice to air out everything, even on a forum like this where we say nigger and tranny and faggot and kike all day every day. Even if it seems odd or weird, I find a weird sense of comfort in knowing that I can at least be lucid enough to just put everything into the constructive process of writing and sort of go about it that way.

And sometimes, it feels nice to know that there's a chance of being heard, even by a bunch of fellow autists on the bad word website.

 

[3MMA]

Sometimes shit is hard to handle when you’re doing your best with one of your loved ones who has a terminal illness & the hours are counting down. Hours are always counting down, for all of us, but when someone you love more than anyone else is possibly going to pass, way sooner than they could naturally live, if not for the illness, shit loses meaning sometimes. My bullshit meter is running on a short fuse, at the moment. I have less tolerance for shit behavior in general. So much gets wasted, so many people care about things that don’t care about them, & fail to care about things that really matter but are oft ignored, & the world keeps turning. These moments pass but it sucks when they hit. Little worries fall away in the face of humongous loss, but we still find ways to keep going. Now with less tolerance for absolute faggotry.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Pretty much any magnesium supplement that isn't glycinate runs right through you in my experience. I also read that the bioavailability for any non-glycinate magnesium is next to nothing.

I take Magnesium threonate, which is for braaaaaaiiins. Haven't had any digestive issues at all.

Magnesium L-threonate contains magnesium and L-threonic acid, a compound derived from vitamin C. It is unique because it can penetrate the blood-brain barrier (the semipermeable membrane separating the blood from brain tissue), potentially helping boost cognitive health and support sleep, stress, and anxiety.12

• Improves cognitive function: Research suggests magnesium L-threonate may help form new brain connections essential for learning and may boost short and long-term memory, particularly in older adults.3
• Supports sleep quality: Some research shows that regularly taking magnesium L-threonate improves sleep quality, mood, energy levels, alertness, and daytime productivity.1
  Hausenblas HA, Lynch T, Hooper S, et al. Magnesium-L-threonate improves sleep quality and daytime functioning in adults with self-reported sleep problems: a randomized controlled trial. Sleep Med X. 2024;8:100121. doi:10.1016/j.sleepx.2024.100121
  
• Reduces anxiety and depression: Low magnesium levels can increase anxiety. Research shows magnesium L-threonate reduces stress and anxiety better than a placebo (an inactive substance).1 Some studies also suggest magnesium might help ease depression.4
• 
  
• Reduces ADHD symptoms: Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) causes difficulty with focus, impulsivity, and mood regulation. In a small trial, magnesium L-threonate supplementation helped reduce ADHD symptoms in over half of the study participants

No help for leg cramps, I assume, though!

Does all this sound incredibly gay and pathetic?

No, not at all. It's healthy to acknowledge what reactions you're having (emotional, but also physical, etc.). "Yep, that thing caused me to react like x, ok" is a good starting point toward figuring out whether you really do or don't "need" to feel that thing (or if you even do, vs whether ot's more a habit than a real reaction). And even before that, it's illuminating sometimes simply to observe that you're feeling a thing, rather than keeping it undefined or inchoate (and running away from it by stuffing it down or lashing out, whatever), and that that reaction in itself is neither good nor bad, but just is. Acknowledging that info is a good way to start to identify stuff that sets off alarm bells and also to see that you don't necessarily need to panic because you're feeling a way. It's like unknotting a tight snarl of thread, strand-by-strand, using a needle. Seeing where this strand on one side exits the knot and little-by-little loosening individual threads in the the knot helps you work backwards to loosen other threads and eventually can help to unknot the whole thing.

 

[DavidS877]

I have successfully finished two weeks of travel. I've already mentioned the Texas stuff. Going home to the 'family' is depressing. Mom, brother, one dog, one chicken.

Mom is not doing great but maybe improving. Approved for knee surgery which should improve mobility tremendously, they're investigating a shoulder problem on the 'bad' side unrelated to the stroke which might help with mobility there. I told her next time the trailer full of trash needs to go to the dump it's going to be her problem since I can't backup a trailer worth shit. So I got to take the trailer to the dump. On the way home I dropped by our the vacation house to do some yard work. Hoping mom can get to driving better so she can go visit the house on her own, I can tell she misses it.

Got to do some driving, There's some pretty country out there in the Idaho/Oregon/Northern California area if you don't mind the lack of mountains and large trees.

Also saw this un-named bridge in one of KiwiFarms' favorite cities.


With luck I can go fly my friend's plane before the weather turns to shit. Contractor finishing my house work this week(he better be) so I can start moving furniture again.

Situation normal. Squirrels still noisy.

 

[GettrGriftr]

Mom is not doing great but maybe improving. Approved for knee surgery which should improve mobility tremendously, they're investigating a shoulder problem on the 'bad' side unrelated to the stroke which might help with mobility there.

Tell your mama that you love her everyday. Because the day will come when she won't be around to hear it.

(I look forward to seeing you again, Mother (who would have been 98 yesterday). I still miss you.)

 

[The Feline Solution 2]

I take Magnesium threonate, which is for braaaaaaiiins. Haven't had any digestive issues at all

Seems like it varies from person to person then. Braaaaaains is still always good.

Mildly embarrassing tax: Passed out ice-cold in the middle of my, i think, fourth drink and while watching Kindergarten Cop. Pathetic lightweight that i have become i also feel something of a hangover already. Alcohol really does not agree with me anymore, which is both a good and a bad thing. Half past 1AM now and i can't get back to sleep.

Does all this sound incredibly gay and pathetic?

No, because i know

It's a weird thing becusse supressing everything to the point where it physically hurts is like second nature to me and I do it so much, it's basically a reflex.

way too well as my own messed-up coping mechanism, venting to anonymous autists on the internet is definitely preferable. At least sometimes. And despite the slur thing i feel the average user on here, at least ITT, seems a lot less maladjusted than your average redditor so you sometimes even get legit help/advice for the shit you have to deal with. Plus the size of the userbase on KF makes it feel a lot less like screaming into the void compared to a place like reddit. I feel Kiwi Farms cares. How's that for gay and pathetic?

I have successfully finished two weeks of travel. I've already mentioned the Texas stuff. Going home to the 'family' is depressing. Mom, brother, one dog, one chicken.

Mom is not doing great but maybe improving. Approved for knee surgery which should improve mobility tremendously, they're investigating a shoulder problem on the 'bad' side unrelated to the stroke which might help with mobility there. I told her next time the trailer full of trash needs to go to the dump it's going to be her problem since I can't backup a trailer worth shit. So I got to take the trailer to the dump. On the way home drop I dropped by our the vacation house to do some yard work. Hoping mom can get to driving better so she can go visit the house on her own, I can tell she misses it.

Got to do some driving, There's some pretty country out there in the Idaho/Oregon/Northern California area if you don't mind the lack of mountains and large trees.
View attachment 8059755View attachment 8059756View attachment 8059757View attachment 8059758
Also saw this un-named bridge in one of KiwiFarms' favorite cities.
View attachment 8059759

With luck I can go fly my friend's plane before the weather turns to shit. Contractor finishing my house work this week(he better be) so I can start moving furniture again.

Situation normal. Squirrels still noisy.

Man, that sky looks absolutely beautiful.

 

[Scream Aim Fire]

Also saw this un-named bridge in one of KiwiFarms' favorite cities.
View attachment 8059759

Judging from that view; you visited a certain prison, I imagine? How'd it go?

---

Thread tax: Things are going fairly well on my end. Writing's got some major progress, which is... insane, thought the day would never come honestly. Job's going well, aside from the grown men shitting in the floor; might be moving up soon enough, getting a new position with better hours, that sort of thing.

 

[3MMA]

For everyone ITT having sudden (or any) leg cramps, a cool tip is to keep some little cans (or bottles if you prefer) of good old fashioned tonic water in your vicinity. I refrigerate mine. Pop one open upon experiencing that charlie horse of horror in the middle of the night or that muscle cramp from the bowels of Hell. The tonic water is high in quinine & stops cramps in seconds. Beware the cardiac affects too, quinine can increase qrs syndrome in those with heart issues. If you don’t have heart issues, it’s great for leg cramps especially. Just normal tonic water that you would find in a bar or corner store. It has a small amount of quinine, coincidentally a perfect amount for fighting off leg cramps. A few sips & you’ll be good to go. I buy the little 5.5 oz cans.

 

[DavidS877]

Judging from that view; you visited a certain prison, I imagine? How'd it go?

Nah, no prisons. The one you may be thinking of is off to the right out in the bay. Or the other one next to a bridge is up the road about 10 miles. This location is accessible by road from the highway that crosses the bridge.

 

[BABANGUIDE64]

I don't enjoy things, they suck. My lifestytle consists of eating, cooming, sleeping, working, walking and I doubt changing this lifestyle worths it. I doubt there is anything worth taking hold of.
I'm so spiritually and mentally poor, that I doubt I need making friends of others at all. Moreover, I doubt they deserve my friendship. Last months among people different from my ex-colleauges have been insufferable, even though I haven't been showing my displeasure. I'm an early zoomer stuck between millenials and late zoomers, it's so lame and gay. Sometimes I want to bitchslap each of them so these awkward white niggers could come to themselves.
Material things made by other people, people's vocabulary became so dumb and poor that I started hating each of them.
Next paycheck -> boxing club -> beating people like a madman
That's my plan for the near future coz fuck 'em

 

[DenseDeerFather]

Got to do some driving, There's some pretty country out there in the Idaho/Oregon/Northern California area if you don't mind the lack of mountains and large trees.

Thank you, I will be using these for references when writing long drives and road trip stories.

It's healthy to acknowledge what reactions you're having (emotional, but also physical, etc.).

I should take to journaling more whenever that happens. I used to do that when I was younger and I still have a shitty diary from when I was 12 or something.

Maybe seeing the old melodrama turned me off that for over a decade but I should get into it again because it makes everything easier to bear.

At least sometimes. And despite the slur thing i feel the average user on here, at least ITT, seems a lot less maladjusted than your average redditor so you sometimes even get legit help/advice for the shit you have to deal with.

Having read this thread, I can believe there's truth to that.

@Friend of Dorothy Parker recommended me some excellent reading material that I pull out every now and then, just to give an example.

Plus the size of the userbase on KF makes it feel a lot less like screaming into the void compared to a place like reddit. I feel Kiwi Farms cares. How's that for gay and pathetic?

It might also be because Reddit has dedicated subs to everything, so it becomes a mosaic of small echo chambers where challenging said opinion is bound to get you banned. I'm glad KF hasn't gone down that route because people here are more open to being nuanced.

Which in turn makes it feel like somewhat of a support network. I say somewhat here because there's a limit to what strangers can do over the internet, especially if you don't put in any work yourself.

That said, it can be a tool for good, for lack of a better word. There's a saying in my country that cannot be translated into English without butchering it, but it's essentially "even small things can make a difference".

But that's enough sappy feelings for now.

In other news, I tend to have my TV on while cleaning, and I shifted through the channels and there was a marathon of Project Runway, and I switched after an episode and a half. Never again.

 

[Kyouyama Kazusa]

Not very good, a lot of things changed rapidly in my life. I thought it would open the door for opportunities and change, but I'm still the same person in a different, shittier place.

My birthday is approaching, I'm not sure I want to celebrate. It just reminds me that the dreams I had are long gone.

 

[WASR96]

Mucicitus made it down to my gut. Makes a pain that spreads like a wave over both sides of my stomach when I try to eat or drink, which is really fucking annoying. The good news is the doc decided to add Dilaudid back to my pain options for this, so I don't feel anything at the moment.

 

[Ferryman]

RHCSA

Did you ever end up taking RHCSA? If so, how'd it go? I am considering chasing that one next. If you're looking for CV padding certs, I know CySa and CCNA get brought up a lot, as well as the various goyslop Azure/AWS/Cloud infra certs floating around.

To stay on topic: Swell, attempting to figure out how to properly 3D print keycaps and rack mount HDD caddies with fan slots. Outside's been pissing rain for two weeks so its nice and cozy. Feeling optimistic for real for real.

 

[Neighborhood Janny]

Not gonna lie bros, been having a hard ass time as of late. Just seems like everything in life is just in a perpetual state of being shaken like a retarded baby. About 5 weeks ago, my dad suddenly couldn't move his arms or walk without aid. Long story short, he's now got something called Guillain-Barre Syndrome. His immune system basically went into overdrive and started attacking his nervous system. 18 days in the hospital and we finally got him back home. It was quite the traumatic journey, for him and us. Seeing my father, the last influential male figure in my life related by blood, suddenly and inexplicably unable to lift himself from a chair just shook me to my core. My mom ended up almost having a relapse episode thanks to her multiple sclerosis during the ordeal. The urge to drown myself into a bottle of rum was almost irresistible. Almost. Thanks to my lovely wife and mother, I stayed my hand. But everything was still spinning around me.

When Rush announced they were going back on tour, I immediately lit up. Called my dad, let him know I registered for the presale and that he had to pull through so we could go see them. I got into the presale and promptly forgot about it. When tickets went on sale to the public a few days later, I ended up getting distracted and forgot again. And I just crashed the fuck out. Something as simple as getting tickets to a concert - something that I never find myself unprepared for - caused me to emotionally check out and despair. Just seems that this was the culmination of what my hopes for my father's recovery were. That concert is supposed to be the light at the end of the tunnel. It's stupid as fuck, but god damn it that was what I was counting on.


I don't know. Life has just fucking sucked. And yet, here I am, venting my frustrations to strangers on the internet. Maybe life isn't so bad, but it sure feels bad right now.

 

[WASR96]

Not gonna lie bros, been having a hard ass time as of late. Just seems like everything in life is just in a perpetual state of being shaken like a retarded baby. About 5 weeks ago, my dad suddenly couldn't move his arms or walk without aid. Long story short, he's now got something called Guillain-Barre Syndrome. His immune system basically went into overdrive and started attacking his nervous system. 18 days in the hospital and we finally got him back home. It was quite the traumatic journey, for him and us. Seeing my father, the last influential male figure in my life related by blood, suddenly and inexplicably unable to lift himself from a chair just shook me to my core. My mom ended up almost having a relapse episode thanks to her multiple sclerosis during the ordeal. The urge to drown myself into a bottle of rum was almost irresistible. Almost. Thanks to my lovely wife and mother, I stayed my hand. But everything was still spinning around me.

When Rush announced they were going back on tour, I immediately lit up. Called my dad, let him know I registered for the presale and that he had to pull through so we could go see them. I got into the presale and promptly forgot about it. When tickets went on sale to the public a few days later, I ended up getting distracted and forgot again. And I just crashed the fuck out. Something as simple as getting tickets to a concert - something that I never find myself unprepared for - caused me to emotionally check out and despair. Just seems that this was the culmination of what my hopes for my father's recovery were. That concert is supposed to be the light at the end of the tunnel. It's stupid as fuck, but god damn it that was what I was counting on.


I don't know. Life has just fucking sucked. And yet, here I am, venting my frustrations to strangers on the internet. Maybe life isn't so bad, but it sure feels bad right now.

It's not stupid at all. It helps to have something to look forward to. Only being able to focus on the here and now when it's all bleak medical shit makes it so much harder. Taking it day by day, while having little things to look forward to, is essential. My family is planning to take me to my favorite restaurant after I get discharged this time around. It would probably sound retarded to most people, but I'm really looking forward to getting to spend time with them in a place I love and not rotting in a hospital bed. Visit with your father whenever you can, see if there's little things you can do to make his stay less painful (snacks, comfy pillow/blanket from home, food from the outside that isn't shitty hospital food.) These things all add up. It sounds like you're a good son, and he'll remember how much you cared by doing these things together. I'm really sorry to hear you and your family are going through this.