How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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Super Mario Brothers said:
Also I'm starting to miss Japan so much right now. Not for the weeb stuff or even some of the cultural stuff (although that's a plus) but because there was almost no crime. I wouldn't care about getting worked to death if it meant I wouldn't possibly get stuck in a shooting on the way to work. Every con that I think Japan has already happens here except 1000x worse. Overworking, sexual harassment, suicide rates etc etc. Even the housing is cheaper over there.
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The Japanese literally have a whole genre of anime about getting run over by trucks so they can be reincarnated outside of Japan. Japan is nice if you don't have the slave mentality of the Japanese, I guess.
 
Good I think. Everyone’s concern with my last update inspired me to get serious. I’m going to start journaling my “symptoms” and I’m in touch with a therapist who specializes in a lot of different things, including anxiety like one person mentioned. I’ll see what she has to say, but if I had to guess, she’s probably going to say something pretty mundane. I always assumed it just derived from my dislike of myself, so of course I’m going to default to being “someone else” in times of stress. I dunno, we’ll see.
 
I recently moved my family out from a major city to a beautiful little country town with a really nice sense of community. My oldest already made friends with a neighbor kid down the street. My Ring app, which used to be filled with posts about stolen packages and assaults and car break-ins, now has so few events it’s just a string of the Ring sponsored posts (like when a doorbell camera catches a cat knocking over a potted plant or whatever). Kids ride their bikes everywhere without being harried over by their parents. On the first day of school, people in the village wrote nice messages for the kids on the sidewalk in chalk.

I catch myself thinking “Oh. Right.” a lot. “Why is that bike just sitting there without a lock on it? Oh. right. Because the people who live here don’t steal bikes.”
 
Pray for me, Kiwis. I just found two lesions next to each other on the back of my upper arm that look very much like skin cancer. I made an appointment with my doctor on Monday.
 
Dragged Into Sunlight said:
Pray for me, Kiwis. I just found two lesions next to each other on the back of my upper arm that look very much like skin cancer. I made an appointment with my doctor on Monday.
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How much time do you spend in the sun and could they be benign? Back of the upper arm seems weird since it'd be somewhere covered by clothing depending on how far up it is, and the fact that most of the time you need to be standing at a specific angle/position for the sun to hit it enough to damage the cells.
 
They're going to flay me. Theyre going to flay me in front of the office and let passerbys insert kebab sticks into my exposed muscle tissue. Just got the email about this 20 minutes ago.

Sent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy smartphone
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Turns out having a cryptokike schizofuck who talks to his dead dog as president wasnt the killer move, shit hitting the fan over here
Dragged Into Sunlight said:
Pray for me, Kiwis. I just found two lesions next to each other on the back of my upper arm that look very much like skin cancer. I made an appointment with my doctor on Monday.
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@Bonzi Baptist
One more thing of note. And really fucking remember this one.
When you're out. You're out. Gone.
Do not be like most people and hold onto what this person could be for an extended period of time. They will not change. At all. Ever. Spend the first couple months that you're on your own really, truly processing and accepting this.
Someone like this will steal a decade or two off your life if you hold onto any thoughts they can be the person they should have been. She will try to enter back into your life at some point, and she'll do a damn good job of it. But do not, I repeat: DO NOT let her.
This could mean poverty and missing out on a lot of things. It could mean being homeless at times. It could mean a lot of work and pain. But it will also mean you'll never have to deal with that kind of pain ever again and trust me: It is beyond worth any tradeoff.
It will take a long ass time for everything to click but when you have your own life and she owns not a single stock in it, you will be so happy.
But again... Cement this. Do not let her know where you are or what you're doing. Do not let her have your number. In fact, change your number.
But I promise you if you do this exactly, a couple years from now you will be fine. Good, even.
 
Juan But Not Forgotten said:
You know, people keep giving him shit, but me, despite not being a fan of his, I am just unable to. Decade ago Sam was blacklisted by, well, everyone over some cartoony jew hating his TV show, he lost everything and was forced to live off his car. Yet he strived and now is back and kicking against all odds. But what surprised me the most, when asked about World Peace his reply was basically "yeah, it sucks that it was canceled, but I don't see a reason to cry over it, what's done is done". Honestly, I wish I could say this about many things in my life that I am still unable to let fully go. Just say "fuck it, it was good while it lasted, many more good things are ahead".
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Yeah, I wouldn't call myself a fan of his either but the issue with the current strain of detractors/aylawgz he has is that said Christmas Examples keep overplaying their hand in such greasy catty and shrill ways that all the things Hyde does to be abrasive and insufferable on his own seem tame by comparison to what these creatures must be like themselves in their day to day lives; retards shouldn't throw shit in unventilated houses.
 
Kinda rough day today as I had to put down my super senior kitty.

-CDS granted me a kitten like a week ago, it didn't have to repossess the old one like that. Fucking sucks, man.
:lossmanjack:
 
I've finally made an actual attempt at getting my shit together as lately my NEET idleness feels more like torment lately than actually doing things, but I have hit a stalemate. The driving test.
Not the test itself which is supposed to be the hard part for 99% OF PEOPLE ON THE PLANET but finding anyone willing to lend me their car and their time for one day, even in exchange for money or work. Am I that unlikable. This is driving me insane. My entire family resents me, I have no friends, even the god damn driving instructor says his "insurance doesn't allow them to use the cars for the test". Maybe get different fucking insurance then genius?? You are a driving school.
This is all while the last person I spoke to Judas'd the fuck out on me and now I'm completely alone. Not a great feeling.
 
May I get some advice/opinions? Got some questions and google isn't being helpful...
1. Is it fine to eat food while laying on your side? Specifically, laying down but leaning up on your elbow.
2. How does one go to sleep while hungry? I've always struggled to fall asleep when I'm feeling hunger pangs, so I often eat right before bed, which I know is bad for your sleep and everything.
 
(Pls forgive me for double posting)
DatBepisTho said:
Kinda rough day today as I had to put down my super senior kitty.
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I'm so sorry. Last month I also had to put down my super senior kitty. It was extra rough cuz I'd spent almost all my life with this kitty. You prolly can understand this--it still feels like...unreal. Like I'm gonna find her snoozing on the couch like always. Thank you for sharing about your old friend. I believe you'll see them again. :heart-full:
 
pretty bad i've been in a mental spiral since kingcobra died and shit keeps piling on. i hate being goddamn depressed
 
I got a bit too relaxed/unaware at my last two jobs for the govt with my Top Secret and ended up having my 2 weeks notice shortened on one job for lols farming then ended up walking off the other job 2 weeks after that. I had my reinvestigation going on too so I think my clearance got shut down until some company sponsors me again.

That being said I really hope that it doesn't skullfuck me when I try to get my Secret with ICE and have it end up ruining my chances at employment with them. Does anyone, especially other clearance holders have any suggestions for mitigation? Probably going to go get a therapist and I've been sober for a little bit as well.
 
As I mentioned in the grief thread, the 28th makes 7years since my granddad died. Took a vacation day off work to visit my grandmother.
 
Had therapy today, she seemed nice. She seemed to read me pretty fast, I’d say something then she’d ask a strangely specific question and sorta just smirk and nod at my response. Like she was thinking “Typical”. Not in a condescending way, just like she was accessing what she was working with.

I’ll talk to her about my usage of this site. Just today, I had to go like 30 minutes not checking KF, was pretty antsy. When I finally wasn’t busy and checked it, I felt this wave of euphoria/dopamine wash over me. Like relief, it was like smoking a cigarette. Then I kinda realized in horror that that really really really isn’t normal..
 
I got bit by a brown recluse spider the other day, while cleaning my horses' stall. It sucks 😭For some weird reason (I guess the venom), the pain gets worse as time passes (like, the days following the bite are worse than the first day).

Good news is, my doctor said I should be alright. Bad news is, the front of my leg is all red and feels like it got burned.

Fishnumm said:
pretty bad i've been in a mental spiral since kingcobra died and shit keeps piling on. i hate being goddamn depressed
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Hang in there.

This might sound crazy, but I swear Cobes death signaled a bunch of bad luck. Like, I got bit by the spider the day after he died.

He truly was a wizard, making the world a better place for his fans *circle of protection* 🥹🧙‍♂️
 
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