How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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Unironically saving this for when I get the urge to abuse my meds. I know it's for the best to take them normally instead of just binging them on bad days.
Seriously, take your meds regularly if your doctor prescribed them to you. They won't have the same effect if you don't, plus taking them means you won't have the same difficulty to overcome a bad day as you would if you just chucked them when you're already mid-crisis.
I wish they made caffeine free redbulls. I love how sour they are, but if I drink one my heart rate sky rockets. I never really liked Monster though, doesn’t taste toxic enough 😅

Choc chip?
swedish butter cookies
I'm not sure if this is it but it's what it looked like:
That is an insanely beautiful piece of machinery, but man I can't imagine descaling that sunuvabitch.
I thought the little black and white handles were googly eyes for a second..
 
As others are saying, I'm so sick of the boomer mentality.

At work, we got this kid Bart. He only does local, low voltage jobs. Great electrician with 3 years experience. He asks questions, can actually use a fucking computer unlike the older guys I've been trying to bring up to speed, and he doesn't argue/bitch.

Perfect candidate. And we make insane money on medium voltage instead of low voltage. For example, Bart has to eat his time traveling to and from sites on low voltage. When he found out he was going to be traveling with me to northern Alaska, he mentioned how much it's going to suck traveling for 12 hours and not getting paid . I explained he gets full, billable hours the entire way. The kid makes more money AND the company makes more money. (Seriously, Bart can charge three times the hourly rate to customers on medium voltage than low). Except this one old timer doesn't think this is a good idea.

"JSD, Bart doesn't have any medium voltage experience. Hell, it took like a year for him to learn the low voltage"

"Bill, your mother didn't shit you out with the knowledge and experience to commission a 4160V drive. This is stupid. I'm not doing these assignments when I'm sixty and you are worm shit"

Now he is pissy at me. He even tried to imply that management is upset at me for "forcing" this job onto Bart which is retarded as one of the reasons I was fucking hired was to train the young guys like Bart on medium voltage.

This old timer is a fucking sales guy. He doesn't do commissioning. We aren't even in the same business unit. But for some reason, he feels the need to throw his weight around and try to gatekeep anyone under 50 from learning or doing anything. It's fucking bizarre.
It's not like there are a fixed number of medium voltage jobs. We literally are turning them down right now because there are only so many of these I can physically do.

It's so fucking weird that these folks will bitch and moan about how young people in the office can't figure out how to do anything, and then they actively try to sabotage any and all training. I blame the lead in gasoline back in the day.
 
i want to buy one of those giant silver tea urns, with the teapot on top..they look super dramatic, and i drink a lot of tea, so it would be kind of worth it
A Samowar?
Fomin_samovar.jpg
I am not big on tea but i always wanted to try tea brewed in one of these. There's a russian tea house, appropriately named "Samowar", near my girlfriend's apartment and i have said we need to go there to drink tea for the better part of a decade by now and we still haven't went yet.
Rehab peach ice tea
Bought that one today, had it before and i like it a lot.
Lidl also has some great own-brand ones, you know with the gorilla on the can.
I tried that one out once and hated it. It tastes like bad Red Bull and i already hate the smell and taste of Red Bull.
I say turkish because 99% of the time you pass by a pizza/kebab place it's run by third gen turkish immigrants.
I get lots of flyers in my mailbox from new pizza places in my area and while i am not sure if it is an actual law here it is customary that the owner is listed by name in the fine print on these flyers, 10 out of 10 times the name listed is "Mohammed Al-something" :story: To be fair to the muslims for once, some of the best pizza i ever ate was made by one of the pizzaiolos my father hired for one of his restaurants in the 90s, Samir from Afghanistan :story:
Just got back from another hellish long haul flight, this was 13 hours but my worst was 16.
Who else has been to the sky tube hell dimension (iykyk, that 8-10hrs in when you're delirious)?
I only had one flight that took that long, my city to Tokyo with a quick stop in Moscow airport after three hours, convinced me to never take a flight this long again if i can't at least afford business class. Pure fucking hell. Second longest was my flight from my city to Muscat clocking in at around nine hours, i briefly considered taking business class back home, i would've had the money to do so but i have been poor for so many years of my life that i just couldn't justify dropping that much money on a simple plane ticket. I always liked flying, i think i was around five years old when i first boarded a plane, but long haul flights in the peasant class? Never again. I don't even think it would be physically possible anymore with how much shit my back is giving me.
and now I can order food at a restaurant face-to-face rather than having to go via an app or their self-check out system without feeling like I'm fainting.
Having been in these almost exact same shoes (i wasn't close to fainting, i simply couldn't do it when i was in my early 20s, just a complete mental block when it came to stuff like this) i consider this a big win. To this day i get triggered when i have to enter a restaurant or bar on my own, like when i am going to a birthday of a friend or something like that. When i am in a group i will never be the first person to enter a premise. I am hesistant to call it trauma because i feel that is not the right wordto describe it but memories and patterns of behaviour from the bad old times still sit deep.
 
To be fair to the muslims for once, some of the best pizza i ever ate was made by one of the pizzaiolos my father hired for one of his restaurants in the 90s, Samir from Afghanistan
I mean, as long as he's been trained by an actual pizzaiolos instead of these third rate "chefs", I don't see why Samir from Afghanistan can't make great pizza.
Fuck, now I want pizza even more than I already did.
To this day i get triggered when i have to enter a restaurant or bar on my own, like when i am going to a birthday of a friend or something like that. When i am in a group i will never be the first person to enter a premise. I am hesistant to call it trauma because i feel that is not the right wordto describe it but memories and patterns of behaviour from the bad old times still sit deep.
This was me pre-anxiety meds. It's absurd and amusing to look back at my life and discover all of these very clear red flags that have existed since my birth.
Not saying you have a personality disorder, or even an anxiety disorder, but it could be mild social anxiety that you can work on.
Trauma reactions feel like they exist just below my skin, and ordinarily I wouldn't even call them "trauma" because that implies I experienced something harrowing, which I didn't and haven't. It's just the way I'm wired.

I'd recommend for anyone who feels this way to really dig into the why and the how you could be feeling like this in those situations. Fear reactions are normal and serve an important part in humans, when they make sense. It doesn't really make sense to be afraid when you go to pick up your take-out order, however.
 
Struggling with my internship. It's not easy being told you're an idiot 10 times a day over small mistakes :jacepout:
I will improve my work there. Trying my best. :stress:
 
Not saying you have a personality disorder, or even an anxiety disorder, but it could be mild social anxiety that you can work on.
Oh absolutely. I got diagnoses out of the ass (no diagnosed personality disorders but thanks to the new law in my country that made it possible to look up my own patient file online i now know for sure the file is quiet lengthy, detailed, and in many parts complete bullshit. Generalized anxiety disorder is in there.) , i think i detailedly mentioned it in this thread before how i wasted my 20s in the psychiatric health care system of my country, much to often probably.
I definitely used to struggle with Cluster C-related bullshit if we want to put it in personality disorder terms. Not the obsessive part but very much the avoidant part. I don't think i have overcome the avoidant stuff entirely but i worked hard on it and i am pretty much a different person now in my 30s than the one i was in my 20s. I struggled with anxiety the most and ironically i got that mostly in check when i quit any and all psychiatric medication. It took me years after being off zogpills to realize that so much of my bad thought patterns and especially the anxiety were caused by said pills.
Don't want to sperg about hard drug stuff again because i have been clean for so long by now but switching drink for amphetamines (around the COVID times, as a fully grown adult and by choice, even if it was on a whim and i, of course, got addicted to the shit) did wonders for my mental health, too. It is not rare that i think these days "Why where you such a fucking spastic back in the days? Why did you struggle so much? This is nothing that should've ever worried you."
 
A Samowar?
YES and i bought a sideboard just to buy one of these things and display it. and then we found out we have to move....so i am saving that for after we move because we already have so much stuff to move....its crazy how much you can accumulate in 10 years. but i think they look nice, and i love tea, so it kind of works.
 
Struggling with my internship. It's not easy being told you're an idiot 10 times a day over small mistakes :jacepout:
It builds character

The only way to get better is to fuck up your way to the top. I used to be called an idiot all the time. I still get called an idiot, but now i get to call other people idiots as well :smug:
 
Struggling with my internship. It's not easy being told you're an idiot 10 times a day over small mistakes :jacepout:
I will improve my work there. Trying my best. :stress:
Hey, as long as they aren't doing anything worse than calling you an idiot. Depending on the field, much harsher tones are the standard when talking to a newbie.
You're gonna do great, just keep at it.
 
Good news, got a steady paying job (that's not gonna wreck my body if I keep doing it) so consistent money will be nice. Also got a few new guns so range trips have been fun.

Bad news, I've been suffering random muscle aches and cramps since mid-December, and I'm pretty sure that's the prior landscaping job coming due.
 
In taking my health more seriously as I get older, I've discovered that too much working out, catching whatever bug is going around, and finding out that I don't tolerate Potassium Citrate well all at once is not a pleasant experience. Other than that, I've been working on getting my RDIs on vitamins and minerals sorted out, working more milk back into my diet, drop the weight I picked up over the holidays, and feel pretty great in general. But, uh, potassium glycinate if you're going to supplement Kiwis, your stomach, gut, and various other attached bits may well thank you.
 
Doctor: "yes you have no history of abusing prescription pills and you have multiple issues which cause insomnia but for your own good I can't prescribe you sleeping pills."
"But I can't sleep"
"It's for your own good."
"By the way I take double amount of gravol I probably should be
"I cannot recommend you do that either and stop it immediately"
"Too bad"

Die in a fire. I'm good getting drunk
 
One one hand I have a very good feeling about this year in terms of personal growth and career moves, I've been getting such positive and kind comments from people about my art, and I feel very capable with is a very empowering feeling.
On the other hand, I have misophonia and it's getting triggered by a family member with TDS who spends all day on the computer loudly typing out political diatribes with a mechanical keyboard. I feel like I'd be unstoppable if everything wasn't so FUCKING NOISY
 
In taking my health more seriously as I get older, I've discovered that too much working out, catching whatever bug is going around, and finding out that I don't tolerate Potassium Citrate well all at once is not a pleasant experience. Other than that, I've been working on getting my RDIs on vitamins and minerals sorted out, working more milk back into my diet, drop the weight I picked up over the holidays, and feel pretty great in general. But, uh, potassium glycinate if you're going to supplement Kiwis, your stomach, gut, and various other attached bits may well thank you.
What do you mean by tolerance? Are you talking about osmotic diarrhea or something?
I have been drinking a big OJ glass with MgCl2·6H2O, as well as raw-dogging about one gram worth of KCit. I don't shit myself, but when I go to the bathroom the next day I leave a steamy brown soup. I've stopped taking KCit as of late because I've been sleeping like shit, as per usual (sleep deprivation wrecks my intestines), but it's got such a bitter taste I don't know what to take it with.
One one hand I have a very good feeling about this year in terms of personal growth and career moves, I've been getting such positive and kind comments from people about my art, and I feel very capable with is a very empowering feeling.
On the other hand, I have misophonia and it's getting triggered by a family member with TDS who spends all day on the computer loudly typing out political diatribes with a mechanical keyboard. I feel like I'd be unstoppable if everything wasn't so FUCKING NOISY
I don't know if I'd call it misophonia but goddamn, I hate barking. Logically, I think of it like a baby crying: when it's a small little human, at least there's some embarrassment from having a loud mini-you disturbing everybody, but for some reason dog owners just stopped giving a fuck sometime along the way. There's been times when a neighbor would talk to me while their loud ass dog barks at me, and they ignore it. How!? Your dog is right there! Anyway...
 
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What do you mean by tolerance? Are you talking about osmotic diarrhea or something?
I have been drinking a big OJ glass with MgCl2·6H2O, as well as raw-dogging about one gram worth of KCit. I don't shit myself, but when I go to the bathroom the next day I leave a steamy brown soup. I've stopped taking KCit as of late because I've been sleeping like shit, as per usual (sleep deprivation wrecks my intestines), but it's got such a bitter taste I don't know what to take it with.
I was getting a lot of gas, heartburn, bit of trouble sleeping, bit of constipation, only started after I started taking Citrate. I stopped taking it a couple days ago and the symptoms have been fading, drinking a lot of water to try and clear things out. I get alright levels of potassium in my diet, but it's not an easy RDI to hit with just food and any eye towards balance.
 
Doctor: "yes you have no history of abusing prescription pills and you have multiple issues which cause insomnia but for your own good I can't prescribe you sleeping pills."
"But I can't sleep"
"It's for your own good."
"By the way I take double amount of gravol I probably should be
"I cannot recommend you do that either and stop it immediately"
"Too bad"

Die in a fire. I'm good getting drunk
It's so weird to me, I once went to my doctor asking for some kind of sleep aide because I was in a downwards spiral. Doctor said "we only prescribe sleeping pills to people in a life crisis" e.g you lost your child in a violent accident or you're going through a divorce, not chronically depressed people.
Brother, if I am so upset at night that I can't sleep and I'm crying until 6AM, that feels like a life crisis to me. I even gave him the condition that I'd only have two pills available to me, and the rest would be locked off by the staff at my former living situation. Not good enough, I wasn't in a life crisis so I wasn't getting them.

Screw that doctor.
goddamn, I hate barking. Logically, I think of it like a baby crying: when it's a small little human, at least there's some embarrassment from having a loud mini-you disturbing everybody, but for some reason dog owners just stopped giving a fuck sometime along the way. There's been times when a neighbor would talk to me while their loud ass dog barks at me, and they ignore it. How!? Your dog is right there! Anyway...
as a dog owner with a very vocal dog, I totally get it. I hate it when my dog barks, too, and I've actively tried to train her to reduce her barking in the last 10 years with little to no results.
my dog in general just makes a lot of noises, like she'll scream her head off when she sees people she loves. She's impossible to shut up and it's actually really embarrassing.
 
Fucking better for once. Got my cats locked in by bedroom with litter boxes and food and water, plus snacks, as I am steam cleaning and washing my carpet. I thought I was going to die about a week ago, but its getting better.
 

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