How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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Friend of Dorothy Parker said:
Good call. It's hard to part or distance from a friend, but sounds as though she's gone past "struggling friend" to "petulant, envious, and combative time-suck." Limits are good.
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Thank you for saying that. I'd like to think of myself as someone who has no trouble setting boundaries, but I think I have a hard time holding them to people I have history with, lest I look like an unempathetic asshole or fairweather friend. It takes a lot for me to get to a point where I decide keep my distance from someone, and I don't like to take anything personal that isn't personal, but I draw the line at having my loyalty called into question because I'm not available enough for you and attacks on the life I built and the people in it, because you're dissatisfied with yours. Oh well.
 
Was doing relatively good today until I learned from a shopaholic acquaintance of mine that a shopping mall shut down that I spent a huge chunk of my childhood enjoying the sights and smells of. That's one thing I'll never get to do with my future kids, going to a large mall and watching them debate over what to buy or what Pokémon games aren't bootlegs. Does anyone else miss shopping malls? You go to these things and they're empty aside from the pet store. Kinda like my soul.
 
MoeAnguish said:
Was doing relatively good today until I learned from a shopaholic acquaintance of mine that a shopping mall shut down that I spent a huge chunk of my childhood enjoying the sights and smells of. That's one thing I'll never get to do with my future kids, going to a large mall and watching them debate over what to buy or what Pokémon games aren't bootlegs. Does anyone else miss shopping malls? You go to these things and they're empty aside from the pet store. Kinda like my soul.
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I relate to this so much. Consoomerism or not, I mourn the loss of these spaces for the entertainment and social opportunities that elsewhere wouldn't have been possible. Admittedly I am someone who prefers physical retail shopping and it irritates me when someone tells me to "lol just go on Amazon" when it's just much more fun for me to find something I wasn't looking for and fall in love with it. I made good friends, great memories, poor financial decisions at my favorite mall that is now a parking lot, and I really miss it.
 
I barely slept last night for who knows what reason and decided that I couldn't touch my phone before lunch, otherwise I would get nothing done today aside going to the bathroom and sleeping. So I really focused at work and got a shitload done, including helping a colleague finish some stuff he wasn't sure he'd get done this week. I have the type of mental fatigue that I associate with significant growth--confidence, becoming smarter, all that happy horse shit--right now. Which I haven't had in a while. Probably 3-4 years, but I'm not sure. I'm bad at keeping a journal.

My new (I've been here for close to half a year already, am I even still new?) boss definitely wants to be my friend, too, which is weird. I like him a lot, he's a nice guy and very good at what he does; the problem is that I have a hard time believing it. I was unemployed for a good few months and I'd gotten used to silence, form rejections, and autistic ESL dorks expecting me to derive the Dutchman's Left Nipple Algorithm from scratch and code it in Python within 35 minutes while they mumble "mm hmm" every 5 seconds. Even though I have plenty of people in my corner, someone I don't know that well being very nice and friendly, obviously with no shady ulterior motive, kicks off all sorts of "am I actually good enough or am I a fucking loser who talks a good game sometimes?" thoughts which I don't like.

There are a lot of signs that the worst is behind me, and I need to stop questioning that.

MoeAnguish said:
Was doing relatively good today until I learned from a shopaholic acquaintance of mine that a shopping mall shut down that I spent a huge chunk of my childhood enjoying the sights and smells of. That's one thing I'll never get to do with my future kids, going to a large mall and watching them debate over what to buy or what Pokémon games aren't bootlegs. Does anyone else miss shopping malls? You go to these things and they're empty aside from the pet store. Kinda like my soul.
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I can relate to this. I’m “when I was a kid, video game stores weren’t all over the place” years old. I remember me and dad had to drive like half an hour to go to this one game store when I was really young. Clothes shopping, too. I’ll go to buy new shirts or something and see a jacket I love. Doesn’t happen online like that. Makes you wonder.
 
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MoeAnguish said:
Was doing relatively good today until I learned from a shopaholic acquaintance of mine that a shopping mall shut down that I spent a huge chunk of my childhood enjoying the sights and smells of. That's one thing I'll never get to do with my future kids, going to a large mall and watching them debate over what to buy or what Pokémon games aren't bootlegs. Does anyone else miss shopping malls? You go to these things and they're empty aside from the pet store. Kinda like my soul.
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the mall by my house has a HORRIBLE pet store...i hate this place so much, they leave the puppies out in a glass enclosure all day, and try to sell these poor dogs for 3x what they are worth, while trying to get people to buy them on credit, with 30 percent interest or something like that, i cant believe its legal.
 
Hopefully will be adopting a new animal soon!

Of course we will continue adopting/rescuing Rats regardless but we are also looking at adding a Tortoise to our family.

Will only rescue/adopt though as there’s soon many here which get surrendered.
Will be converting our shed to a heated enclosure for them. But if they are a baby they will be on a tortoise table till they are big enough

But bad news is I’ve for some reason have max results for ketones. Which I’ve never had before. Been an absolute nightmare trying to get an appointment (I’m not diabetic as far as I know and I’m a healthy weight. I’m not super thin but not overweight by any means)
 
My Ma's birthday was fantastic, Thought only me, GF and my brother would be over but my grandma, my aunt and my favorite uncle was over as well, amongst others. GF was wearing the dress i bought her for Christmas last year and she was the prettiest woman in the room at all times and i loved it, that shit does wonders for my my self-esteem and my self-respect. My grandma actually greeted my girlfriend better than she greeted me :story: Lots of good food, way too much good drink and everyone had fun. It was so great. Life can be fun without getting fucked up on drugs after all. GF baked a cake for my mother but it sort of felt under the radar under all the good food my mother prepared. This was a great day.
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long waters said:
I always found advice like this really weird. I want friends and a gf who like me for who I am, not to pull some weird stuff like MAAAD and go fuck hookers to get my rocks off. I find the thought of traveling to "party" utterly repulsive. I don't want to do hos and drugs, I want someone to watch anime with and rant about my diy woodworking hobbies and other stupid nerdy stuff.
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For fucking real. I just want to be at peace with who I am and be around people who like me, despite my faults.

I've done plenty of drugs and it isn't it.
 
I received some particularly devastating medical news last week. I knew something was wrong, but not this wrong.I've already been through some nasty treatment regimens and I'm not willing to endure the side effects of one of the medications they insist on adding.

And being told I'm young and NEED to fight it is fucking obnoxious. What do I even say to that?

In more pleasant news, my stepson turns 26 tomorrow. I've been in his life since he was 7 and he still stays in touch even though we're long divorced. I pray every day he has success in all areas of life. He's becoming a great man and I'm honored he still considers me a friend.
 
In a surreal moment at work, the kid my old employer hired as my replacement called me up and asked if I could explain to him medium voltage stuff.

"No. First of all, I would need a purchase order. I don't work for free. Secondly, this is highly irregular. How did you even get my personal number?"

Turns out my shithead old boss, the retard from HR, told this kid to just cold call me to explain to him how their equipment works because naturally, a moron with a two year degree in communication has no fucking idea how variable frequency drives work..

I told him that unless the old company contacts my current company and purchases my time, I cannot assist him. I'm not even trying to be a dick here. The liability alone requires terms and conditions agreed upon.

Before I hung up, the kid asked if I had any advice.

"If it's not in writing, your boss is lying to you. That man has no qualms with lying about the dumbest, most mundane shit. And he doesn't know anything about engineering, ethics, training, time management, or really has any marketable skills. He is a prime example of someone who consistently fails upward due to the simple fact he is miserable to be around and the Japanese overlords refuse to allow incompetent people to be fired. Save your money. Develop contacts. Get a better job as soon as you can. Good luck"

I have a feeling this asshole (my old boss) is going to somehow threaten to sue me over this.
 
has anyone else ever bought a car stereo from best buy, before?
my subwoofer in my car is DEAD. :lossmanjack:
and maybe im just retarded, but i have to have music when i drive, and it honestly helps me focus on the road better. i wont lie though, i also like blasting it as loud as possible..i really like electronic music, and i personally feel that it sounds better when listened to at maximum volume.

unfortunately though, the stereo itself keeps cutting out at exactly 5 second intervals, and the subwoofer isnt that great anyway.
best buy has some deal where if you buy a new stereo from them, they will install it for only 40 dollars, and im wondering if they do a good job??
its not like my car is anything special, but i also dont want them to fuck it up somehow.
 
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