/horror/ general megathread - Let's talk about movies and shit.

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After finally seeing Christmas Bloody Christmas, I feel like the core of a good movie is there but the main thing dragging it down is the writing, which really needed some polishing up. Some thoughts (trying to avoid spoilers):

The Good
* The movie was well-shot and they actually set some shit on fire, which is always points in my book. Also they beat the shit out of a bunch of cars, which you don't see too often in slasher movies outside of the Maniac Cop series. I also respect how even though the movie take a while to get going, it really doesn't let off the gas until the end.

The Rest
* The main character either needed to be toned down by about 100% or the other characters should have been "straight-man" types to counter her aggressive annoyingness. You can have one Franklin from TCM or Shelley from Friday the 13th Part 3, but the whole main friend group being like that is brutal.

*There really weren't any relatable characters at all. Outside of the main character and her shitty friends, there were some utter asshole cops and some random dead meats. The bartender who is irritated by all of them at the beginning should have been the protagonist.

*The whole town in the movie feels weirdly vacant. You never see people on the street and I think the most people we see in one place is at the start of the movie in the main character's combination vinyl/VHS store. This seems like a pretty terrible business model, but stores like this seem to exist in college towns somehow.

*Whole thing really made me appreciate how damn good the remake of The Blob is. The town in that movie feels alive even though I'm pretty sure it was all just sets, and every charcter had something that made them memorable. Kevin Dillon's mullet was also superior to the guy in Christmas Bloody Christmas too.

*The gore effects, while not terrible, are kind of inexcusable these days where something on the level of a Wrong Turn sequel shot for nothing in Bulgaria will still manage some legitimately gross kills. There's also a scene where a guy gets shot in the head that was so awkwardly done that I thought the character was just supposed to be grazed so he could come back later.

*Holy fuck is the ending a drag. It's basically Terminator meets Hardware but goes on way too long. The ending could have used a haircut and that runtime could have been used to up the surprisingly low kill count. There's a bunch of EMS guys that kind of just vanish and if any movie could have used a posse of drunk yokels to hunt the villain and get slaughtered, it was this one.

Overall not a bad movie but one with a lot of potential that it didn't meet.
 
Recent viewing, the DTV horror-Western Night of the Tommyknockers. Cheap Westerns have flooded the DTV space, and a few times they're horror hybrids, and overall most are best left unwatched (though you can say this about a lot of other DTV genre films).

Night of the Tommyknockers won't get any awards for the acting, but as a monster gore film it's not bad, There's some terrible CGI blood and muzzle flashes, but it's kept to a minimum as compared to a lot of horror DTV films, the rubber-suit monsters are better than you'd expect and most of the blood is made via practical FX. It's an obviously-cheap yet still enjoyable creature feature.

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It would be great if you added year along the movie name. There is a lot of movies with the same name but a different production year. Also some people (like me) watch movies from only the last X years.
 
After finally seeing Christmas Bloody Christmas, I feel like the core of a good movie is there but the main thing dragging it down is the writing, which really needed some polishing up. Some thoughts (trying to avoid spoilers):

The Good
* The movie was well-shot and they actually set some shit on fire, which is always points in my book. Also they beat the shit out of a bunch of cars, which you don't see too often in slasher movies outside of the Maniac Cop series. I also respect how even though the movie take a while to get going, it really doesn't let off the gas until the end.

The Rest
* The main character either needed to be toned down by about 100% or the other characters should have been "straight-man" types to counter her aggressive annoyingness. You can have one Franklin from TCM or Shelley from Friday the 13th Part 3, but the whole main friend group being like that is brutal.

*There really weren't any relatable characters at all. Outside of the main character and her shitty friends, there were some utter asshole cops and some random dead meats. The bartender who is irritated by all of them at the beginning should have been the protagonist.

*The whole town in the movie feels weirdly vacant. You never see people on the street and I think the most people we see in one place is at the start of the movie in the main character's combination vinyl/VHS store. This seems like a pretty terrible business model, but stores like this seem to exist in college towns somehow.

*Whole thing really made me appreciate how damn good the remake of The Blob is. The town in that movie feels alive even though I'm pretty sure it was all just sets, and every charcter had something that made them memorable. Kevin Dillon's mullet was also superior to the guy in Christmas Bloody Christmas too.

*The gore effects, while not terrible, are kind of inexcusable these days where something on the level of a Wrong Turn sequel shot for nothing in Bulgaria will still manage some legitimately gross kills. There's also a scene where a guy gets shot in the head that was so awkwardly done that I thought the character was just supposed to be grazed so he could come back later.

*Holy fuck is the ending a drag. It's basically Terminator meets Hardware but goes on way too long. The ending could have used a haircut and that runtime could have been used to up the surprisingly low kill count. There's a bunch of EMS guys that kind of just vanish and if any movie could have used a posse of drunk yokels to hunt the villain and get slaughtered, it was this one.

Overall not a bad movie but one with a lot of potential that it didn't meet.
I heard it said and I agree with this sentiment that the movie tried to do too much with too little. Yeah, they got a little town and decorated it real nice plus they got a few car explosions but at what cost?
 
Black Phone is now free on Amazon. I had high hopes as a SK fan and I liked Nos4atu, didn't love it but it certainly wasn't a waste of time. It (blackphone) was not super but it was definitely good enough for most of the movie but the denouement was among the best I've ever seen and I say that as an old person who has seen a lot of movies.
 
I just discovered the director of Death Bed: the Bed that Eats has passed away. None of the fucking horror sites reported on it. Very sad.



Very nice man and he even sent me an autographed Blu-Ray without charging a dime. It's among my favorites of surreal/black comic/killer bed/horror. The man created a killer bed movie and by god he made the best god damn killer bed movie you could possibly make. I remember for the Blu-Ray that originally Crispin Glover was supposed to join in for the director's commentary but a scheduling conflict prevented that from happening.
 
That shitty look Terror Train remake, well it already got a follow up

 
I watched it (technically a 2nd time) with @Pop-Tart and @The Cunting Death and that was the only way I could get through it because the characters are so insufferable and it doesn't even have shocking or really inventive gore to go along with it. Most of the gore is kind of bad too like just above Halloween Store level.

So, in your face @Cistern Rumbler You hipster-loving cuck.
I forgot to add my two cents

Movie sucked dick and the only time I was enjoying it was when I called the Clancy Brown reference 20 seconds before it happened.
 
That shitty look Terror Train remake, well it already got a follow up

https://youtube.com/watch?v=hROEtAzwGd0
I watched them both.

The first is very bad re-staging of the original, basically nothing works. Opening scene with the dead-body is overly well-lit and he's right overtop of the dead body while talking to girl thats a few feet away but can't tell that the voice isn't coming from corpse underneath him.

Dialog is cringe, the entire movie is poorly shot with awkward framing. Also doesn't even take advantage of the fact it's a costume party, the killer could always be in a different costume, etc. instead we usually see when the killer switches costumes and they spend most of the runtime in dumb clown mask.

2nd movie is also bad, not much else to say. I assume these were filmed together. The reported budget is 3 million each but I have no idea where the money went. These both look like cheap asylum style movies, would have guessed under 1 million for both combined based on basic production value.

Not sure how Tubi makes money as I was able to watch both of these with a free account.
 
I watched them both.

The first is very bad re-staging of the original, basically nothing works. Opening scene with the dead-body is overly well-lit and he's right overtop of the dead body while talking to girl thats a few feet away but can't tell that the voice isn't coming from corpse underneath him.

Dialog is cringe, the entire movie is poorly shot with awkward framing. Also doesn't even take advantage of the fact it's a costume party, the killer could always be in a different costume, etc. instead we usually see when the killer switches costumes and they spend most of the runtime in dumb clown mask.

2nd movie is also bad, not much else to say. I assume these were filmed together. The reported budget is 3 million each but I have no idea where the money went. These both look like cheap asylum style movies, would have guessed under 1 million for both combined based on basic production value.

Not sure how Tubi makes money as I was able to watch both of these with a free account.
Tubi makes money with ads, should make a $1 billion in ad money this year

The free ad based streamers are a growing market, with WB planning to have one and Amazon already having one
 
I watched them both.

The first is very bad re-staging of the original, basically nothing works. Opening scene with the dead-body is overly well-lit and he's right overtop of the dead body while talking to girl thats a few feet away but can't tell that the voice isn't coming from corpse underneath him.

Dialog is cringe, the entire movie is poorly shot with awkward framing. Also doesn't even take advantage of the fact it's a costume party, the killer could always be in a different costume, etc. instead we usually see when the killer switches costumes and they spend most of the runtime in dumb clown mask.

2nd movie is also bad, not much else to say. I assume these were filmed together. The reported budget is 3 million each but I have no idea where the money went. These both look like cheap asylum style movies, would have guessed under 1 million for both combined based on basic production value.

Not sure how Tubi makes money as I was able to watch both of these with a free account.
The second one has an unintentionally somewhat funny scene where the FTM(?) gender-thing security guard goes missing and all of the characters refer to her(?) as "they" making it sound like multiple people are in danger and ironically showing how obnoxious gender neutral pronouns would be in an emergency.

Other than that, I agree that there is nothing worth wasting your time on in them.
 
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