💥 Trainwreck Gloria Tesch / Sofia Nova - Author of the Maradonia series turned Republithot

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bradsternum said:
She's of the generation (my generation, probably yours, too) of "HATERS ARE A SIGN OF SUCCESS." So no, this would just be fuel.

im 2 hot 4 u out of ur league peece out haterz
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By most measures she is a success. Failure is extremely hard from where she gets to start in the game. I am not afraid to admit personally that I get a little jealous knowing that I would be extremely well educated and producing awesome shit if I were in her shoes. I always get jealous of stupid rich people with pretentious projects.

I dunno if you got easy mode with cheat codes I'm still allowed to laugh at you if you beat the game with a low score.
 
ChuckSlaughter said:
By most measures she is a success. Failure is extremely hard from where she gets to start in the game. I am not afraid to admit personally that I get a little jealous knowing that I would be extremely well educated and producing awesome shit if I were in her shoes. I always get jealous of stupid rich people with pretentious projects.
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Where do you get the impression that Gloria Tesch is well educated?
 
Well, she knows enough about literature to steal from most of it. In no particular order, here's what she steals from in the first book.

Dante's Inferno
The Bible
Narnia
Lord of the Rings
Greek and Roman Mythology
German Mythology (The Pool of Blood is Siegfried's story)

I'm sure there's more. Tommorow I will be posting my analysis of the prologue.
 
bradsternum said:
Where do you get the impression that Gloria Tesch is well educated?
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Foo I said I would be well educated if I were in her shoes. I'd at least have a MA in fingerpainting if not an MS or professional degree in something cool after having to take a few classes twice but not even giving a shit cause college is sweet.
She's an idiot who can do whatever she wants. That's the point.
 
bradsternum said:
She's of the generation (my generation, probably yours, too) of "HATERS ARE A SIGN OF SUCCESS." So no, this would just be fuel.

im 2 hot 4 u out of ur league peece out haterz
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I would argue that there are a number of female Kiwis who are more attractive than Glo.
 
nad7155 said:
FTFY

If she was genuinely rich, her "movie" trailer would not look like it was made with an Amiga with a Video Toaster.
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It only seems like what she's doing isn't super expensive because some poor people are exceptionally good at it and they make youtube videos and shit.

Most people would look lots better with glo's lifestyle, more often than not if she has a hangover she can sit around drinking gatorade in a sauna until she feels up to netflix and bloody maries. Then yoga before bed. She can work out anytime she wants and sleep whenever she wants.

I think she's done some neat things but with her resources and ambition it's not real impressive.
 
DrJonesHat said:
She might do nudes, but that's it. And she's going for the "sultry stare" look, but she can't pull it off. Does she actually have any marketable skills?
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Probably the closest she'll get to porn is some Playboyesque website. And if she did manage to do Playboy (which, let's face it, is like, the Kool-Aid of porn), she'd never get the cover, or the centerfold.
 
Surtur said:
I would argue that there are a number of female Kiwis who are more attractive than Glo.
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Considering the fact that personality is a huge factor when it comes to attractiveness I'd say that pretty much all female Kiwis are more attractive than Gloria.
 
nad7155 said:
FTFY

If she was genuinely rich, her "movie" trailer would not look like it was made with an Amiga with a Video Toaster.
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Not necessarily. The Room had a 6 million dollar budget, and the only thing keeping it from looking like shit is the high quality cameras. Hell, you ever hear of Charles Band? He churns out a bunch of 1-3 million dollar movies (Gingerdead Man with Gary Busey being one) and all of them look ridiculous.

I bet she spent at least a million on that movie. She just didn't know how to spend it.
 
bradsternum said:
Not necessarily. The Room had a 6 million dollar budget, and the only thing keeping it from looking like shit is the high quality cameras. Hell, you ever hear of Charles Band? He churns out a bunch of 1-3 million dollar movies (Gingerdead Man with Gary Busey being one) and all of them look ridiculous.

I bet she spent at least a million on that movie. She just didn't know how to spend it.
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She could have hired Roger Corman assuming he's still making movies.

Dude is the king of the low budget movie to the point where he could make a movie for under a million.
 
So GloGlo's out of school now? I'm more surprised she was in college in the first place, though part of me still doubts she was. All I know was that she did that one scammy Higher One ad, and you know how ads tend to stretch reality.
 
@Vicious.ink3, since you seem to be the resident Gloristorian, do you know if she's ever actually faced real rejection or been told she can't have something she wants?

I would love to see Gloria try to work an office job where she isn't constantly praised and might actually get told she did something wrong. I don't think she'd be employed for very long given what we know about her response to criticism.
 
Vicious.ink3 said:
a place called "Newstart," which is actually a private, half-online program for people who couldn't make it in public school for whatever reason.
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Based on everything we know an/or insinuate, I have a feeling "for whatever reason" here means "godless heathens."

Gloria's, like, the weirdest fundie lolcow ever. That she was raised in such an environment is undeniable, going off her writing and her judgmental attitude. But the fact that she made her mark - that she was allowed to make her mark - with fantasy epics (read: Satan's instructional manuals) makes it so confusing.
 
I also heard someone claim she was pulled from public school to work on her novels. The weird fundy thing could have had something to do with it, but isn't "fundy enough to homeschool" already too fundy to read positively acknowledge things like Harry Potter? Might also have had something to do with her inability to take criticism. Some teacher tells her she needs improvement and suddenly public school isn't good enough.
All pure speculation, of course. Getting pulled to work on her world famous books would certainly fit with her delusions because SO SPESHUL.
 
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Henry Bemis said:
Gloria's, like, the weirdest fundie lolcow ever. That she was raised in such an environment is undeniable, going off her writing and her judgmental attitude. But the fact that she made her mark - that she was allowed to make her mark - with fantasy epics (read: Satan's instructional manuals) makes it so confusing.
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I don't know about fundies, but epic fantasy actually tends to be pretty popular with the serious Catholic crowd. Probably because Tolkien and C. S. Lewis were both pretty devote. Christian fantasy novels are actually a surprisingly large genre, with most of them being cut-rate Chronicles of Narnia knock-offs.
 
God said:
I also heard someone claim she was pulled from public school to work on her novels. The weird fundy thing could have had something to do with it, but isn't "fundy enough to homeschool" already too fundy to read positively acknowledge things like Harry Potter. Might also have had something to do with her inability to take criticism. Some teacher tells her she needs improvement and suddenly public school isn't good enough.
All pure speculation, of course. Getting pulled to work on her world famous books would certainly fit with her delusions because SO SPESHUL.
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I think thats mostly true. She was pulled out of school but seemed to follow her father around of the lecture circuit and attended a bunch of republican conventions. Glorias parents claim that during this time she was a public speaker giving rousing speeches to young republicans and christian youths but other than proof of her attendance there's zero evidence she was a guest speaker.
Here parents did allow her to attend a final year in public school so she could have a normal gradation, Gloria claims she was valedictorian due to her awesome writing skills and fame.
 
Extremely well-adjusted people in the comments here.

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