💥 Trainwreck Gloria Tesch / Sofia Nova - Author of the Maradonia series turned Republithot

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I see Gloria has graduated from "vapid facial expression" to full-blown Pixyteri.

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trombonista said:
She looks 30 in that beach pic.
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In 10 years she won't look any different than your average Florida trash.

I'm curious how her fundie background conflicts with her...um..lack of modesty, particularly in the latest batch of glamour shots. Most fundies i know would never do anything like this.
 
Okay, look - I don't even know how to present myself here, but when you have that much flesh on display, a lonely, desperate guy like me should be thinking of something else other than "This picture does not seem to reflect the tenants of her declared religious beliefs."

It's just so ... plastic. I mean, she's real, I know. She's made of meat and everything, I know that. But, it's just such a standard pose in a standard setting in a standard bikini. When whatshisface the one guy posted up that picture of Veronica Lake, he did Gloria no favors. Lake's beauty was natural. Sure, maybe every photo I've seen of her has been lit, shot, and doctored well, but you can just see it in her face. There was a certain ease and unspoken confidence in her pose. She just oozed sultriness by glancing at the camera.

Gloria, in contrast, is just a young woman with an arguably sizable bosom playing at being sultry. There's just nothing there. She's just a girl in a bikini who, though damp in places, seems like the last sort of person who go swimming. Keep in mind that this is after I've seen her swimming around, dressed as a mermaid. There's such a focus here on making her look hot-n-ready, that they seemed to have forgotten to make her look desirable.

If I'm being a sexist pig here, then I'm sorry. It's just ... these pics just aren't working.
 
Nah, I have to agree. There's a certain fakeness to her, like she doesn't quite know how to human. A while back someone posted a photo shoot at some graffiti'd ruins where she tried to pose as someone about to tag the wall. You'd think that, when trying to portray yourself as...some kind of hippie punk, I don't know, you'd loosen up, maybe scowl a little or clench your fist. Anything to look like you're not a store mannequin (you'd also want to think twice about using a site known to be associated with Nazis, but that's another issue). Not GloGlo. I don't think she was even trying to be sexy there (at least, not to the degree that her bikini pictures were), but she still looks stiff and unnatural. Some of her bikini shots toe the uncanny valley line, at least to me.
And when she doesn't have that "moderately gassy" face on (really, she looks uncomfortable), she's got that wooden smile. Is she genuinely happy? I don't know, because it looked forced.
So yeah. She can't compose herself in a way that looks natural. For a lot of people, the gratuitous skin is enough, but she's really got nothing beyond clear skin and tits. Anybody not looking for easy fap fodder (and hell, maybe some who are) is going to see that.
I wonder if it's from never really socializing. It seems like her social life as as vapid as it gets, so maybe she never picked up the nuances of body language. It's like drawing with only a basic grasp of anatomy. You might get a recognizable human, but it's going to be a stiff 3/4 angle pose. Gloria might try to imitate glamour shots without understanding why they work, so she comes off as a poor man's copy instead.
It's funny, you'd think she'd learn to pose or have someone to guide her (or maybe they are and she's just that poor at it), but I see more care put into the presentation of actual plastic robot toys.
 
He Sets Me On Fire said:
If I'm being a sexist pig here, then I'm sorry. It's just ... these pics just aren't working.
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I think it's simpler than that: for anyone who's been reading this topic, it's impossible to consider remotely attractive anymore because we know she's a completely vapid, spoiled, and dumb bitch.

And with that, I tip my fedora to you, good sirs.
 
F. Hausdorff said:
I think it's simpler than that: for anyone who's been reading this topic, it's impossible to consider remotely attractive anymore because we know she's a completely vapid, spoiled, and dumb bitch.

And with that, I tip my fedora to you, good sirs.
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Ah yes, well, the hypocrisy, occasionally nasty attitude, egotism, dishonesty, and palpable lack of talent (you could prop up an unstable piece of furniture with it) may be coloring my opinion just a tad, I'll admit.
 
He Sets Me On Fire said:
Ah yes, well, the hypocrisy, occasionally nasty attitude, egotism, dishonesty, and palpable lack of talent (you could prop up an unstable piece of furniture with it) may be coloring my opinion just a tad, I'll admit.
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What kills me every time I see these slutty pictures is that she STILL fancies herself as a young adult novelist :lol: Can't wait for the Susanna Clarke bikini shoot pictures to drop!
 
That Guy said:
In 10 years she won't look any different than your average Florida trash.

I'm curious how her fundie background conflicts with her...um..lack of modesty, particularly in the latest batch of glamour shots. Most fundies i know would never do anything like this.
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You forget, however, a basic fundie tenet: It's OK if I do it.

Even so, you'd think it would at least raise an eyebrow among her IRL associates.
 
Usually I only follow CWC but since everything is relatively quiet on that front I decided to have a look at some other lolcows. This Gloria is hilarious but here is something that got my attention: while going through this thread I saw some people wondering who exactly her father, Herr Tesch, is.
So I decided to google him and checked a few sites. Günter Tesch isn't a too unusual name for people of his generation in Germany but I only came along three persons that somehow are interesting. An old SS officer (dead already), a christian songwriter from the 70s (it was said somewhere in this thread that he wrote gospels) and an evangelist who was taken to court for fraud in the 80s (he ran some missionary organization who kept donations instead of sending them to poor countries). Now I don't want to accuse Papa Tesch for war crimes in WW2 but the other points might be worth a further investigation. I have no proof that those are the same persons but I thought some of you might find it interesting.
 
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