"Smut" and "spicy" books and series aimed at women (like shit by Sarah J. Maas) frequently feature coerced sex and dubious consent in their novels. Shit where it'll be like "he pins my wrists to the bed and puts his fingers in my pussy without asking and starts masturbating me. I struggle and feel wet but I'm so powerless, oh no I came!!!!! The big strong man, who is a fairy-wolf hybrid, made me cum and I just don't know how to say no or even if I should!!!!" Pick up any "romantasy" "novel" and you'll find coercion, dubcon, manipulation, and very obviously, poorly written sexual dynamics that amount to little more than rape.
I am against this subtle moulding of women to eroticize their own degradation and powerlessness. This 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em mentality' or 'it's not rape if I enjoy it'. That line of thinking is extremely problematic as some victims may orgasm from the fear and nervous stimulation, it still doesn't mean they weren't raped. The memory of the orgasm can indundate them with guilt and torment them. If it was unwanted when it began, it's rape.
I guess this has been said before but the enduring popularity of CNC is down to 1. An ego boost for the woman that someone almost godlike, superhumanly attractive finds her beauty so irresistible, he loses control.
2. No guilt at desiring and enjoying being pleasured because he initiates while she lies back and lets herself enjoy it. She's not a dirty seductress, she's a goddess who brings these inhumanly powerful creatures to their knees with a mere glance.
Girls see how their 'pretty' peers are treated by adults and boys alike. The social payoff from looking good as a woman is huge. They inevitably start measuring their social status, potential and even self worth in terms of how physically appealing they are. These books take that fantasy of being beautiful and sexually desirable to its extreme.
It's all a jumble of patriarchal conditioning, ultimately. CNC is an oxymoron, it's not REALLY non consensual.
Although silence doesn't mean consent (and now I'm writing this, its dawning upon me how problematic this can become), her withholding the expression of enthusiastic consent is because she wants to keep him guessing and see how much he wants her, like she's granting him a privilege.
I do know that in some of this material she even manages to squeak a 'no' or put up weak resistance because she wants to remain the good girl, untainted. Her meek protests are brushed aside of course.
Sadly, a lot these novels progress from the woman enjoying cunnilingus etc to her being bound, exhibited, beaten, passed around, kept as a sex slave. Hardcore abuse. I guess the authors feel mere lovemaking won't fill 70-150 pages or hold the readers' attention so they take the shock and awe, escalation route.
Okay, when I started writing this it was to contrast these fantasies/CNC with actual rape, I'll still say it's not that women actually want to be raped by ugly, fusty, hirsute moids. But now I think of it, it does tacitly contribute to the blurring of women's sexual boundaries, especially when the other party is someone she's attracted to and likes. It makes her ripe for real world abuse, coercive control and manipulation -- because its worth it if she's loved.
