Evangelist Jack Chick is Dead - Had cornered the "Satanic Panic" market

Jack Chick, author of titular "Chick Tracts" has died. His works were infamous for their ubiquity, hilariously poor art, and insistence that everything on Earth was a creation of Satan himself. This list includes

• Catholics
• Buddhists
• Muslims
• Any denomination that didn't preach sola fide and used the King James translation
• D&D
• All Hallows Eve
• Harry Potter
• Family Guy
• Rock music
• Hindus
• Secularists
• Scientists
• Anyone the believes in evolution
• Jews
• Gays
• Jehovah's Witnesses
• Mormons
• Santa
• The Tooth Fairy
• The Easter Bunny
• Obelisks
• American Indians
• Gravity itself

One thing of note is the hilarious degree he abuses history, Scripture, and science to spread his cancer of a message. An even more hilarious aspect is the painful way he rewrote one comic to appeal to "the balcks".

Here's a sampling of his works, unedited.

 

[Broseph Stalin]

I think we all need a badass biker dude like Bad Bob in our lives.

But it's too bad he got sodomized and throatfucked in jail by the Evangelists. That's what happens when you get arrested in Bible Belt country.

 

[AnOminous]

For those who've never had the privilege to read one of Chick's works, well, here's the whole collection:

click here heathens

Be sure to buy in bulk and spread the joy to trick or treaters! 100% guaranteed to have kids leave burning bags of dog shit on your doorstep the next day!

That doesn't have some of the "best," like the ones so fucking awful even Chick retracted them and tried to suppress them.

One example would be the shockingly vile "Lisa."

In this inspiring bit of work, a child molester rapes his daughter and pimps her out to his friends, giving her a venereal disease in the process. Then the mother also abuses the child.

But then it's okay because they find Jesus. And then Lisa is just supposed to get over it.

Then they don't even show the victim for the whole strip until the very end, and if you were assuming Lisa was a 16 year old or something:

 

[Guardian G.I.]

RIP.

I used to have a Russian version of "This Was Your Life" — when the Soviet Union broke down, nutty American fanatics rushed into the newly-independent countries to spread the word of God through shit like Chick tracts... while being completely unaware that Russian Orthodox Church was still a thing.

Despite its hostile fanaticism and trademark art style, it couldn't beat the enormous collection of Jehovah's Witnesses paraphernalia I used to have — at least 3 creationist booklets and a shitload of "Watchtower" and "Awake!" magazines. Sadly it was all lost when my grandparents passed away.

 

[Cosmos]

I'm just imagining Jack Chick standing at the Pearly Gates and proudly showing Saint Peter his anti-Catholic comics, and Peter's just like "Dude, you know I was the first Pope, right?"

 

[Joan Nyan]

This man was a great hero trying to save us from the Catholic satanists. Who will carry on his legacy now?

 

[Electric Eye]

This year has taken from us David Bowie, Prince, Muhammad Ali, Alan Rickman, Gene Wilder and now Jack Chick.

 

[QI 541]

I wonder how many virgin neckbeards masturbated to this news.

 

[AnOminous]

This year has taken from us David Bowie, Prince, Muhammad Ali, Alan Rickman, Gene Wilder and now Jack Chick.

You forgot Lemmy.

 

[Trilby]

He's the one who does the really good art for them, right?

Yep, namely the look they had for those comics made in the 80's onward.

Here's one of the more familiar cartoonish types, possibly done by Chick himself but I could be wrong. Of course this is a fan animation but I love how this was put together.

 

[CervixHammer]

this is what happens when you don't learn the real power from reaching level 8 in Dungeons & Dragons.

 

[Sperglord Dante]

He's the one who does the really good art for them, right?

Yeah, the super detailed and realistic tracts were drawn by Fred. The simplistic and cartoonishy one were drawn by Jack himself.

 

[DatBepisTho]

Do you think he knows about four-pronged devil dicks- intimately knows about them- because he's in a good position for them right now?

Spoiler: There's a reason for the salt

I was handed This Was Your Life as a stupid, impressionable kid growing up in the Bible Belt and that shit fucked me up so bad for years.

-Those edits crack me the fuck up, tho.

 

[Hat]

I was handed This Was Your Life as a stupid, impressionable kid growing up in the Bible Belt and that shit fucked me up so bad for years.

You got fucked up by the most mild and theologically mainstream comic he made. That's pretty pathetic to be honest with you fam.

 

[DatBepisTho]

You got fucked up by the most mild and theologically mainstream comic he made. That's pretty pathetic to be honest with you fam.

It really is. It's my greatest shame.

 

[DZ 305]

You got fucked up by the most mild and theologically mainstream comic he made. That's pretty pathetic to be honest with you fam.

Some people just are allergic to bullshit.

Spoiler

Now if we age them...

Look familiar? No? Let's add some color

M̟͎ͅa̪̰͔̭͢͡y̫͎̻̫͘ ̘̟͖̺͡G̷҉͏̜o͓̗̰d̛͕͕͍͍̲̠̰́ ͎̭͜h̡̲̹̙͍ͅa̴̸̹̝͙̳̱̯ṿ̡͎̟̯̭͈͚͜͝e̸͓̙̥̫̻ ̷̦͈̥̮̰͚͙͠m̶̧̳̠͉̪̺e҉͕̦̖͖̭r̭̼̟̫̖̝͡c̠̜̠͝ͅy̧̙ ̧̩o̯̩͚͍̕n̦͓̫̮̯̮͖ ̤̠̰̟̝̱̩̥̦ư̧͎̻̫s̛̖͚͟͞ ͇͠a̱̥̣̭͎̖͝͝ļ͔͔̗l̪.̷̖̳̥̯̰̩͔͔͡

 

[c-no]

I may be late but it's sad to see someone pass away when they did give the world some hiliarious comic strips, even they were hilarious due to being ridiculous and not converting people to his religious beliefs.

I remember getting a Chick Tract a couple years back. Said tract pretty much had a man going to hell because he followed Colonel Sanders.

 

[DZ 305]

I may be late but it's sad to see someone pass away when they did give the world some hiliarious comic strips, even they were hilarious due to being ridiculous and not converting people to his religious beliefs.

I remember getting a Chick Tract a couple years back. Said tract pretty much had a man going to hell because he followed Colonel Sanders.
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Why is Morpheus there?

 

[Ruin]

This man was a great hero trying to save us from the Catholic satanists. Who will carry on his legacy now?

Brandobaris provided he isn't too busy with the Jews.

 

[c-no]

Why is Morpheus there?

Perhaps Morpheus didn't take the holy pill that leads to Chick's version of Christ.

 

[Ruin]

Perhaps Morpheus didn't take the holy pill that leads to Chick's version of Christ.

Just out of curiosity how the heck do you get into fundie/Jack Chick's version of heaven? Based on the comics anything from having a beer to staring at someone wrong is a one way trip to hell.