Evangelist Jack Chick is Dead - Had cornered the "Satanic Panic" market

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Jack_Chick.jpg

Jack Chick, author of titular "Chick Tracts" has died. His works were infamous for their ubiquity, hilariously poor art, and insistence that everything on Earth was a creation of Satan himself. This list includes
  • Catholics
  • Buddhists
  • Muslims
  • Any denomination that didn't preach sola fide and used the King James translation
  • D&D
  • All Hallows Eve
  • Harry Potter
  • Family Guy
  • Rock music
  • Hindus
  • Secularists
  • Scientists
  • Anyone the believes in evolution
  • Jews
  • Gays
  • Jehovah's Witnesses
  • Mormons
  • Santa
  • The Tooth Fairy
  • The Easter Bunny
  • Obelisks
  • American Indians
  • Gravity itself
One thing of note is the hilarious degree he abuses history, Scripture, and science to spread his cancer of a message. An even more hilarious aspect is the painful way he rewrote one comic to appeal to "the balcks".

Here's a sampling of his works, unedited.
ChickHealer.jpg

113px-ChickFeelIt.jpg

ChickDragons.jpg

225px-Jack_chick_scary_people.png

225px-Chick_Tract.JPG

OP9uX.gif
 
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I like Chick tracts unironically, because the guy was equal parts bugfuck insane and yet totally sincere and compelling. The new stuff on his website is just boring, completely lost Jack's narrative flair:

1178_17.gif

(the story is way less entertaining than this panel might suggest)
 
Cable 7 said:
Semper Fi the the internets favorite christian kook.
Really had a soft spot for his comics. There's something so great about them.
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My greatest regret over his passing is that he never did a ‘furries are going to Hell’ tract. It would have been epic and at least mostly accurate, no matter how over the top he might have gone with it.

I forget what the title was but his end times dystopia - the new age healer panel in the OP is from it - was amazingly entertaining and had one truth in it; an America run by hippies would suck.
 
billydero said:
My greatest regret over his passing is that he never did a ‘furries are going to Hell’ tract. It would have been epic and at least mostly accurate, no matter how over the top he might have gone with it.

I forget what the title was but his end times dystopia - the new age healer panel in the OP is from it - was amazingly entertaining and had one truth in it; an America run by hippies would suck.
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You mean hippie-Jesuit-Satanists?
 
Steamboat_Bill said:
You mean hippie-Jesuit-Satanists?
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Oh yeah, right. I guess Evil is a big tent!

I think he redrew and rewrote it to update it and catch up with the times; I remember there was an older version where the healer is flashing the kids a peace sign and has a more Charlie Manson like beard.
 
billydero said:
Oh yeah, right. I guess Evil is a big tent!

I think he redrew and rewrote it to update it and catch up with the times; I remember there was an older version where the healer is flashing the kids a peace sign and has a more Charlie Manson like beard.
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Yes, he did. The original version was published in the 70s, predicted the Rapture was going to happen 40 years after the founding of modern Israel, blamed Jesus Christ Superstar and Godspell for how badly things got, and contained a lot of stuff about ecology that didn't make it into the later version.

What is on the Chick site now dates back to the 90s, and he got all his bogeymen in it - Catholicism, witchcraft, the Mother Goddess...
 
Chick is fun to laugh at as an adult, but I was given several of those as a kid and some of them are terrifying for a little kid.
 
demosthenes7531 said:
That's the entire point of the Bible. Stop trying to be good enough or thinking there is anything you can do to attain heaven (like an arrogant prick). You need to realize and accept that you are helpless and plead to God to save you and forgive you even though you're literal walking garbage that doesn't deserve it. There are no "magic words" that can save you because that would mean there was something you could do.
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More like his message was manipulative, arbitrary and performative in its dogmatism than anything. He clearly believed in those magic words, otherwise the checklist wouldn't be there at the back every time.
But that's, like, me leaning on my own understanding.

Edit- typos
 
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Chick Tracks are great. They're like Pokémon; you find them randomly in the wild and you must collect them all. I didn't realize this was a necro thread, but I guess I should share my Chick Track story. In my late teens I got a guitar book for Pantera's Great Southern Trend Kill for my birthday. When I turned to the page for Suicide Note Part 2, there was a Chick Track about suicide. I thought it was hilarious, and the cover art had a cool skull on it. But I always wondered who put it there. I doubt it was my parents, because the weren't fundamentalists. They were fans of Black Sabbath and stuff like that and knew songs, or entertainment in general, wasn't a statement of some deranged mindset or cry for help. But what kind of fundamentalist Johnny Checktrackseed would know about this one song by this one band and go to music stores randomly placing them in guitar books? Maybe it was some stoner metalhead employee that thought it would be funny. And it was funny, unknown stoner metalhead employee, and I applaud you.


Also, I'm going to disagree with the original article. I think the artwork was pretty well done for what it was.
 
Quite honestly, I think Jack Chick is one of those truly legendary lolcows and he's probably the first lolcow I ever truly followed, years before I even knew lolcows were a thing. Chick Tract parodies were one of the earliest recurring memes I noticed online back in the day.

He's one of the OG Web 1.0 lolcows but he was active before the internet and was still producing his bugfuck insane comic tracts all throughout the Web 1.5 and 2.0 eras.

The dude had such a backlog of tracts that it took a few years to fully cycle out all of them after he died.

If there was a Holy Trinity of lolcows, Jack Chick would probably be in there with Chris-Chan and the Furry fandom.
 
Syaoran Li said:
Quite honestly, I think Jack Chick is one of those truly legendary lolcows and he's probably the first lolcow I ever truly followed, years before I even knew lolcows were a thing. Chick Tract parodies were one of the earliest recurring memes I noticed online back in the day.

He's one of the OG Web 1.0 lolcows but he was active before the internet and was still producing his bugfuck insane comic tracts all throughout the Web 1.5 and 2.0 eras.

The dude had such a backlog of tracts that it took a few years to fully cycle out all of them after he died.

If there was a Holy Trinity of lolcows, Jack Chick would probably be in there with Chris-Chan and the Furry fandom.
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I'd argue that he had more natural talent than most lolcows in the same genre, and he managed to make a decent business out of it. Other aspiring cows could take some pointers from the guy.
 
Syaoran Li said:
Quite honestly, I think Jack Chick is one of those truly legendary lolcows and he's probably the first lolcow I ever truly followed, years before I even knew lolcows were a thing. Chick Tract parodies were one of the earliest recurring memes I noticed online back in the day.

He's one of the OG Web 1.0 lolcows but he was active before the internet and was still producing his bugfuck insane comic tracts all throughout the Web 1.5 and 2.0 eras.

The dude had such a backlog of tracts that it took a few years to fully cycle out all of them after he died.

If there was a Holy Trinity of lolcows, Jack Chick would probably be in there with Chris-Chan and the Furry fandom.
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He wasn't a lolcow in the technical sense, I don't think. He believed some truly wacko stuff, but that alone doesn't really a lolcow make. He was extraordinarily private (though that was because he thought the Vatican was going to kill him).
 
Steamboat_Bill said:
He wasn't a lolcow in the technical sense, I don't think. He believed some truly wacko stuff, but that alone doesn't really a lolcow make. He was extraordinarily private (though that was because he thought the Vatican was going to kill him).
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True, but I'd consider him a lolcow because he had a huge online following back in the day because of his wacko beliefs.

Now that you mention it, I think Jack Chick is more of a proto-lolcow than a "proper" lolcow like Chris or DSP.
 
If only Jack knew that he drove a fat slob from grand rapids to grow tits and want to lop his cock off
 
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