🎨 Artcow David "Walky" Willis / Shortpacked - Fingerwagging Cishet Shitlord

[Accel_Rider]

Our only hope is for these children to outright rebel against not only all these things, but SJWism as well.

They're the chosen children destined to bring balance to the Force

 

[Soew]

For those who requested his porn comics, NSFW links spoilered ahead:

Spoiler: they're pretty bad

Walky Performs a Sex
My Lesbian
Mask or No Mask

is it just me or does every single vagina look like it's wearing a wig?

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

It would be incredibly hilarious if his kids ended up not only hating Transformers, but also eventually have some kind of religious conversion and end up joining a denomination of Christianity (or Islam) later in life/after they go off to college.

"Dad, I'm straight. Get over it, geez"

 

[Koby_Fish]

is it just me or does every single vagina look like it's wearing a wig?

a merkin!

Seriously, those exist. -_-

 

[AnOminous]

Our only hope is for these children to outright rebel against not only all these things his parents hold dear, but SJWism as well.

It is a sad but inevitable happening that these fuckers are going to raise a generation of rebellious shitlords who will make /pol/ look progressive in comparison.

And they will deserve every minute of it.

 

[*Asterisk*]

Sorry to sperg here , but there actually was quite a lot of drama about Schultz 'daring' to have a black child as a character. He got death threats over it and handled it all really admirably.

This Walky guy is never going to make any impact close to what Peanuts did for diversity in comics, despite trying his hardest to be progressive. His characters are all strawmen or author insertations, and he makes it all about himself.

Wow, I'm a big Schulz fan, and I never even knew this.

Schulz had so much talent and creativity and courage, absolutely nothing like these Patreon welfare assclowns poisoning the modern Web at all.

Yeah. He was at Botcon instead of with his wife when she was having her first ultrasound (good job Willis. What a great dad you are) and he found out through text it wasn't just 1 kid, but twins.

Seriously?

How did somebody this autistic manage to find a woman who'd willingly bear his child without having real money and keeping something resembling an appealing appearance?

He said he never masturbated until he was 19 and almost puked when he first drew porn
why he would say this to the Internet, I don't know

Seriously?

How did somebody this autistic manage to find a woman who'd willingly bear his child without having real money and keeping something resembling an appealing appearance? FUCKING GET LAID AT ALL?

Is there a link to this shit?

 

[MiloWuCollusion]

Links in the badcomicswiki, I think.

 

[Accel_Rider]

Now when I think about it, I wonder if the terrifying orgasm face in his comic was drawn from real-life experience?

 

[Koby_Fish]

Wow, I'm a big Schulz fan, and I never even knew this.

Schulz had so much talent and creativity and courage, absolutely nothing like these Patreon welfare assclowns poisoning the modern Web at all.


Seriously?

How did somebody this autistic manage to find a woman who'd willingly bear his child without having real money and keeping something resembling an appealing appearance?


Seriously?

How did somebody this autistic manage to find a woman who'd willingly bear his child without having real money and keeping something resembling an appealing appearance? FUCKING GET LAID AT ALL?

Is there a link to this shit?

My guess is his descent into SJW madness attracted him a SJW feminist willing to not only fuck him, but marry him as well. He probably thinks being a SJW is the ONLY way for spergs like him to get laid at all.

 

[*Asterisk*]

Links in the badcomicswiki, I think.

I went back, but I didn't find anything like this. I didn't even see anything like this the times I've read that article before.

I'm certain it's true, but I'm always a mark for juicy details.

My guess is his descent into SJW madness attracted him a SJW feminist willing to not only fuck him, but marry him as well. He probably thinks being a SJW is the ONLY way for spergs like him to get laid at all.

Poor bastard must've never heard of hookers. And unlike the loveshies, he could actually buy some with his hipster welfare.

 

[Techpriest]

Besides everything else that everyone here has pointed out, one of my favorite things about how this comic is a failure is that it's demonstrably untrue.

You see, there's this delightful comic series from Japan. It has a large, enthusiastic fanbase in the States that continues to grow and grow. In its native country of Japan, it's one of the most famous and influential franchises of all time.

It looks like this.

One of the reasons people love it is because of how flamboyant it is.

And before the quip about anime fans comes up that I know is coming, one of the demographics this series is quickly becoming popular with is people with no interest in anime or manga.

Straight men fucking love this series, and it is several times femmier looking than that goofy Batman in that comic.

JoJo is a miracle of the universe. The 2012 anime is gorgeous and it is the campiest shit I've ever seen.

The poses though are what finally sold me on it. It's plain goofy fun to watch.

 

[Koby_Fish]

I went back, but I didn't find anything like this. I didn't even see anything like this the times I've read that article before.

I'm certain it's true, but I'm always a mark for juicy details.


Poor bastard must've never heard of hookers. And unlike the loveshies, he could actually buy some with his hipster welfare.

Yeah but not too many hookers can also meld into the White Picket Fence compilation dream. Which is what I'm guessing was more what WatchootalkinboutWilllis was going for.

 

[Melancholic_Cowboy]

I dropped the strip for good about the time Becky showed up, partly because Becky isn't so much a character as she is Tumblr incarnate right down to her edgy hairdo and raging egocentricity, and is absolutely fucking insufferable as a result, but mainly because Joyce - a sheltered homeschooled Christian from a fundamentalist background - was being roundly shat on by absolutely everyone. Her crime? Not coming round to the correct SJW position on how Christians (all 2.4 billion) are cackling supervillians who like nothing more than repressing poor, innocent LGBTQAWTFBBQ folx fast enough.

I'm pretty sure this is what'll happen when David Willis finds out that LGBT Christians, in fact, do exist-

I'm rather pleased that this guy finally has a thread. He's a dick who apparently has no problem treating his fans like shit if they dare to even say anything criticizing him or just say anything that makes a proverbial bug crawl up his ass and die. I think the perfect example is this strip -

So, some people have better things to do than know the ins and outs of sex toys. So what? Instead of just simply going “Lol, it’s for the clitoris” in the comments, he goes on this better-than-you, apeshit rant about how the people who asked this question were somehow terrible (probably misogynistic) dumbasses. I mean, dude, seriously- why do you have such a raging hate-boner for people who lack knowledge in how exactly dildos work? Why do you have to such an asshole about it?

For fun, here are a couple of comments from the comic-

Spoiler

-1.)“I found this very rude, but most dick shaped pieces of rubber I know are strap-ons. And the dildo's I buy are dragon shaped.”

(Can’t believe I’m siding with the guy buying dragon dildos on this)

2.) -“I don't know why I should be expected to know this...I mean...I understand what a vagina is in the vaguest of terms but my last health class was easily a decade ago and it was pretty...conservative. Also I don't have a girlfriend and I don't particularly care for vaginas. I stand by my ignorance.”

.... and later in the comments the above poster had this to say...

“Man...I actually kinda have hurt feelings now.”


3.) -“You don't read up on genitals on Wikipedia for fun and/or Science? For shame!”


4.) -“Now, admittedly, I only read the comments on the website that were posted, so this could be wrong if David took a bunch of them down, but I only found two people asking what the hook thing was for. So... Is two people on the internet 'Way too many' now?”


5.) -“Haha, wow, thank you for the condescension. It's good to know that my decision to wait until I'm ready to have sex makes me a twelve-year-old in your eyes”

…. later in a conversation…

“Okay, I think I should clarify myself here. This comic really pissed me off, so my comment is pretty kneejerky and not at all helpful.

I don't have a problem with informing people about the clitoris. That's great! To use your metaphor, I do want to know where the gas pedal is when the time comes, so it's wonderful that there are resources online beyond pornography for a virgin like me.

My problem with the comic is the TONE. It insults the audience for asking the question in good faith. What's wonderful about OJST is that it answers questions like, "What's that funky hook thing on that vibrator?" without attacking its audience for its ignorance. This comic does, and that's hurtful and unnecessary.”

6.)-“I'm more disappointed you felt the need to call out people who didn't know. To be honest I wasn't sure what it was for either, but you make it sound like people are stupid for asking. Admittedly I don't have a lot of experience/knowledge, but that's why people ask questions. I'm glad others asked and you should be glad too; NOT condescending.”

I'm sure that there were more, but I didn't feel like looking through all hundred's of something comments.
Seriously. I would be horrified if I had fans of my work saying something like this to me. Fuck this guy!

 

[AdmiralPingas]

And you just know he's going to try to name the kids Optimus and Rodimus or something. Like that character in one of his strips who named her daughter Donna - which isn't so bad until you realise it's short for Donatello.

 

[Koby_Fish]

And you just know he's going to try to name the kids Optimus and Rodimus or something. Like that character in one of his strips who named her daughter Donna - which isn't so bad until you realise it's short for Donatello.

Or Carly, Spike, friggin' DANIEL, Sparkplug, Michaela, Sam...
Double nerd points if any of their middle names are "Witwicky".

 

[Johnny Bravo]

My eyes fucking melted at its sheer awkwardness. Why do these types of people treat sex like a weird joke?

I think making sex kind of awkward can work under certain circumstances in fiction, like if it's a character thing, but not in porn. Porn is supposed to be hot.

I also don't understand the fixation on condoms? I mean, I can understand condoms showing up in live porn or amateur porn, but it's a fucking cartoon. You don't have to draw condoms so why would you? Is this fucking sex ed?

 

[Accel_Rider]

I'm pretty sure this is what'll happen when David Willis finds out that LGBT Christians, in fact, do exist-

https://youtube.com/watch?v=B_Lnz64vXB8

I'm rather pleased that this guy finally has a thread. He's a dick who apparently has no problem treating his fans like shit if they dare to even say anything criticizing him or just say anything that makes a proverbial bug crawl up his ass and die. I think the perfect example is this strip -

So, some people have better things to do than know the ins and outs of sex toys. So what? Instead of just simply going “Lol, it’s for the clitoris” in the comments, he goes on this better-than-you, apeshit rant about how the people who asked this question were somehow terrible (probably misogynistic) dumbasses. I mean, dude, seriously- why do you have such a raging hate-boner for people who lack knowledge in how exactly dildos work? Why do you have to such an asshole about it?

For fun, here are a couple of comments from the comic-

Spoiler

-1.)“I found this very rude, but most dick shaped pieces of rubber I know are strap-ons. And the dildo's I buy are dragon shaped.”

(Can’t believe I’m siding with the guy buying dragon dildos on this)

2.) -“I don't know why I should be expected to know this...I mean...I understand what a vagina is in the vaguest of terms but my last health class was easily a decade ago and it was pretty...conservative. Also I don't have a girlfriend and I don't particularly care for vaginas. I stand by my ignorance.”

.... and later in the comments the above poster had this to say...

“Man...I actually kinda have hurt feelings now.”


3.) -“You don't read up on genitals on Wikipedia for fun and/or Science? For shame!”


4.) -“Now, admittedly, I only read the comments on the website that were posted, so this could be wrong if David took a bunch of them down, but I only found two people asking what the hook thing was for. So... Is two people on the internet 'Way too many' now?”


5.) -“Haha, wow, thank you for the condescension. It's good to know that my decision to wait until I'm ready to have sex makes me a twelve-year-old in your eyes”

…. later in a conversation…

“Okay, I think I should clarify myself here. This comic really pissed me off, so my comment is pretty kneejerky and not at all helpful.

I don't have a problem with informing people about the clitoris. That's great! To use your metaphor, I do want to know where the gas pedal is when the time comes, so it's wonderful that there are resources online beyond pornography for a virgin like me.

My problem with the comic is the TONE. It insults the audience for asking the question in good faith. What's wonderful about OJST is that it answers questions like, "What's that funky hook thing on that vibrator?" without attacking its audience for its ignorance. This comic does, and that's hurtful and unnecessary.”

6.)-“I'm more disappointed you felt the need to call out people who didn't know. To be honest I wasn't sure what it was for either, but you make it sound like people are stupid for asking. Admittedly I don't have a lot of experience/knowledge, but that's why people ask questions. I'm glad others asked and you should be glad too; NOT condescending.”

I'm sure that there were more, but I didn't feel like looking through all hundred's of something comments.
Seriously. I would be horrified if I had fans of my work saying something like this to me. Fuck this guy!

Wow, what a bitch. I guess we know who wears the pants in his relationship

 

[Koby_Fish]

I think making sex kind of awkward can work under certain circumstances in fiction, like if it's a character thing, but not in porn. Porn is supposed to be hot.

I also don't understand the fixation on condoms? I mean, I can understand condoms showing up in live porn or amateur porn, but it's a fucking cartoon. You don't have to draw condoms so why would you? Is this fucking sex ed?

I think it's the whole soapbox mentality where, he thinks he needs to draw condoms so that by looking at his art, more people are "encouraged" to use condoms and thus magically, will start using them. Or at the very least, he wants everyone to know he's down with teh saef sex.

 

[*Asterisk*]

Even disregarding that they're cartoon characters and thus immune from any inadvertent harm: aren't all those characters in committed, monogamous relationships anyway?

What the double fuck's the point of the condoms, then?

 

[Koby_Fish]

Even disregarding that they're cartoon characters and thus immune from any inadvertent harm: aren't all those characters in committed, monogamous relationships anyway?

What the double fuck's the point of the condoms, then?

Maybe there's something about those characters that WatchootalkingboutWillis isn't telling the audience. >.>