🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[Chipmunk's Bounty]

Seriously though, are people finally done having faith in him?

So out of curiosity, why do you guys keep going around and around with him like this? is it because he's sort of homegrown so there's a larger margin of acceptable bullshit? Because he is going to stay exactly the same. There hasn't been any change from the beginning to now except he wised up about his adoption mouthing off, from an outside kiwi perspective. You guys have been staring into the void for awhile, I think.

I genuinely think Connor has it in him to become a better person, and I'm hopeful he'll realize it. The thing is with his current attitude, he's keeping himself from seeing how much he holds himself back, puts himself down, and that a lot of the advice here is given for his improvement. I don't think Connor will magically fix himself, but I hope that eventually he may realize that he's keeping himself in this cycle.

 

[DN 420]

I don't know why people still try with Connor after so many identical failures. I guess it's just human nature to want better for others.

Though, I'm not a fan of the ouroboros relationship @Philosophy Zombie is talking about.

It's true that Connor milks the same responses so he can use the same excuses. But when he runs out of options, of comments he can cherry-pick with his ridiculous logic, he just shuts down into a defeatist attitude and rejects the idea of living his life in spite of unhappy the prospect of hard work makes him.

It's funny to watch the first few times, if I'm blunt. But it does get boring, sad.

Nobody is at fault, I mean there's not much a forum can do for him. But I'm always a fan of taking different angles, trying to find something that'll break him out of his downward spiral, or at least a catalyst of that something. But that's the optimist in me.

 

[Sigyn]

View attachment 22495

Spoiler: She is the night

@BOLDYSPICY! is the hero Connor needs, but not the one he deserves right now.
Sorry it had to be done. Its ridiculous and commendable how much you've tried to help him, Spicy.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

How am I expected to grin and bear it in spite of the shit I go though?

in spite of the shit I go though

in spite of the shit I go though

You sneaky little scamp. Getting me to repeat myself.

Spoiler: BOLDYSPICY'S response, page 18

Serious note, when dealing with legit mental illness, sometimes the stupidest shit will send you in a tailspin. Which I can understand. But Jesus Christ, @Connor , if you're unhappy with something in your life, dust yourself off & do something about it. Here, I'll even show you my power level.

Spoiler: WHAT NINE THOUSAND

Do you know how many of us have attempted suicide? I think I tried to kill myself three times in one year, once. That was after I lost my job, dropped out of school, & had to move back in with my mom. I've lost count of how many times my best friend has tried to kill herself, as she had dealt with similar situations. We can kinda laugh about it now, & the running joke is that we must suck pretty hard if we can't end our lives properly. Point is, you're not the only one in this "hive of scum & villainy" that has tried to off themselves. Have you seen the Mental Illness or Coping threads? It doesn't make you special, nor will it make any Kiwis take back those mean nasty hurtful words they may have said.

A year ago, I checked myself into the psych ward because I was hallucinating & shit. That's what happens when I get super-stressed out. I hallucinate. After I was discharged, my mom kicked me out. Now, a year before we all packed up & moved to Alabama (I'm from PA). I didn't know anyone down here, & was completely homeless. I lived in a group home for a while. Now I live in a psychiatric recovery facility while I wait for my SSI. I do menial work for pay for about eight hours a week (I got shot down when I tried to work more, go fig). I'm hoping to finish my degree online this summer once I get all this financial aid shit out of the way. When I get the all-clear, I'm gonna volunteer at one of the local psych hospitals to mentor adolescent girls who've gone through similar shit. I'm slowly trying to get back up to where I was before I went completely batshit. I still have good days & bad days.
TL;DR no matter how bad your situation, no matter how hopeless things seem, you always have options. There are plenty of programs out there you can take advantage of. You just have to be proactive. YOU'RE THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN FIX YOUR LIFE. NO ONE ELSE CAN DO IT FOR YOU.

Spoiler: BOLDYSPICY'S response, page 49

Forgive my power-leveling, based mods & dear kiwis, but bear with me.

@Connor .

This morning, I worked. I do menial work, eight hours a week, at a psych facility.
The amount of time I can work at this facility is strictly limited because I also live there.
I.
LIVE.
IN.
A.
PSYCHIATRIC.
FACILITY.

YOU.
HAVE.
NO.
EXCUSE.

Spoiler: BOLDYSPICY'S response, page 137

Uh, I have a job, hobbies, & friends I talk to on a daily basis. I'm active in my community. Despite, you know, still living in a psychiatric facility. Just sayin'.

Seriously, Connor, fucky you. You don't know what hardship is.

EDIT: AHAHAHA OH WOW I SEE THIS RIGHT AFTER I POST MY POWER-LEVELING COMPENDIUM

Spoiler: She is the night

View attachment 22497

@BOLDYSPICY! is the hero Connor needs, but not the one he deserves right now.
Sorry it had to be done. Its ridiculous and commendable how much you've tried to help him, Spicy.

Oh, wow, @Sigyn, this is beautiful. I love it. But I'm not the only one who has been doling out advice, though. Others have offered better insight than I have. I mostly just sperg out & do draws.
which reminds me fuck I let Connor sucker me into giving him more advice even though I said I wouldn't goddamn

 

[Picklechu]

I don't know why people still try with Connor after so many identical failures. I guess it's just human nature to want better for others.

Though, I'm not a fan of the ouroboros relationship @Philosophy Zombie is talking about.

It's true that Connor milks the same responses so he can use the same excuses. But when he runs out of options, of comments he can cherry-pick with his ridiculous logic, he just shuts down into a defeatist attitude and rejects the idea of living his life in spite of unhappy the prospect of hard work makes him.

It's funny to watch the first few times, if I'm blunt. But it does get boring, sad.

Nobody is at fault, I mean there's not much a forum can do for him. But I'm always a fan of taking different angles, trying to find something that'll break him out of his downward spiral, or at least a catalyst of that something. But that's the optimist in me.

Eh, the cycle's slow enough and Connor's outbursts and attempts to come back and act like nothing happened/make excuses are funny enough to keep me entertained. Plus Boldyspicy artings.

The only "new angle" that I think would work is someone IRL to hold him accountable, but that's not going to happen. For now, I'll just enjoy the lolmilk.

 

[Lady Tamako]

AM I EXPECTED TO TAKE HARDSHIP LIKE A FUCKING CHAMP?!

Stop. Please stop.

You know what the key to fighting depression is? At some point you have to tell yourself, "I am not going to sit here in a funk all damn day." You're feeling down? Do something about it.

You know what I did when I was feeling sad for no reason? I sat outside on the patio, got on the treadmill for a few minutes, danced around my room to music, watched a cartoon or something else to make me laugh, etc. I fought back against those negative emotions because I didn't want them dragging me down anymore. I wanted to be happy and I took the steps, no matter how small, to make it so.


At this point I think it's safe to say that you, like me, are not going through depression so severe that it requires medical treatment. You can take the steps to get out of this funk, you're just refusing to do it. And I can understand that... in the beginning it does seem easier to sit there and do nothing than put effort into making a big change. But you'll get tired of it eventually - you will.

Sadly, it looks like sitting around in pure misery hasn't tired you out just yet. Maybe next time?



* Honest question: Can anyone prove that Connor even wrote anything these past few days, or was he just bluffing to get a positive response?

 

[Sigyn]

This is slightly off topic, but it's a list of ideas of reasonable, small things that Connor (and everyone else) can do to cheer themselves up.

At home:
Watch comedians on Youtube/netflix. (Youtube has like, all of the C K Louis specials in their entirety for free)
Read (fanfiction counts, and might make you feel even better than a book, if that's your thing)
Learn a new craft/start a new hobby. i.e) sew/paint/take stupid online language classes/look shit up on wikipedia/take online quizzes

In public (or just not at home):
Idk if anyone else likes to do this, but i have a lot of fun looking for eccentric/odd behaviors or situations in public. Like a treasure hunt.
Embrace the horrors of the void
Play that guessing game where you try to deduce someones life from just looking at them (all three of these would help with your writing, Connor)
Join a club or IRL support group

TL;DR: @Connor, do literally anything but whine on forums, and you're heading in the right direction.

 

[BriarHeart]

Daily reminder that @Connor has no intention of following through with Camp NaNoWriMo and/or Alphaboy. He's just using it as a prop to pretend that he's Stephen King and write about being a writer (without, you know, actually writing something).

Guys. You guys. I just had an epiphany. I know why @Connor has written so much on forums about his novel while not actually writing the novel itself. I know why he knows so little about the actual plot and characterization of his supposed "life's work." Connor has never intended to write a novel. He wants to write a memoir.

Think about it. Whenever he talks about "the writing process," what does he reference? Stephen King's On Writing. Back when that book was released, the reading public was super-stoked, because holy shit, Stephen Freakin' King wrote a book all about his life and thoughts and opinions, how he struggled with substance abuse and almost died in that car accident, and all of the influences that led him to create the things that he's written, this is gonna be so cool! And it was interesting and poignant and super-cool, and everyone loved it.

That's what Connor is after. He wants other people to see him as deep and profound, to regard his thoughts and opinions as not just worthy, but superior to their own. He craves the narcissistic satisfaction of writing about writing, and hearing other people go "Wow, Connor, I never thought of something like that! That's so cool!" He wants the response that King received without actually putting in the work and effort of being Stephen King. So, he talks big about psychological themes and pop-culture "homages," exaggerates the inconveniences of his life into a heroic struggle, goes on for long stretches about his emotions and family struggles instead of advancing an actual plot (like in Meowthkip's round robin), and basically tries to do everything that an established career author writing a memoir would do, just without actually having to do anything memorable.

So, yeah. I advise everyone to stop trying to help Connor with his novel, because he's not writing a novel and he never has been. He's been using the barest skeleton of Redesigning Eva as a prop that lets him sign up for innumerable forums and do what he's actually meant to do this whole time: write about himself writing.

As you were.

 

[Mrs Paul]

Connor's in therapy, right? Is he on meds?

You know, I'm sort of in a similiar boat -- I live at home, I lost a job I loved a few years ago and haven't found another one yet. But a lot of my situation is my own fucking fault. (I don't want to go into the specifics, or start whining here. I generally try to keep my issues off of the internet, or just discuss them with close friends, because I'm not one for spewing my whole life to strangers.) And I'm working on trying to make things better, just one thing at a time.

But you know, I'm working on it. Connor, you don't have to do everything all at once. Just little things. Like you said, you want to get your driver's license. Have you even mentioned doing so? Consider yourself lucky -- I'm almost thirty-seven and I can't drive because I have fucking epilepsy. My seizures are mostly under control, but I still have focals every now and then*. So I take the bus.

Depression sucks syphilitic donkey balls, dude. Been there, done that. But here's the thing: it's an illness. Even getting everything you want isn't going to make it go away. I've found that out. I also learned a hell of a long time ago that it's a bad idea to ask for advice if you're not prepared to hear things you don't want to hear. Life is NEVER going to be all sunshine and roses. But, and this is going to sound really fucking cheesey, sometimes it's the little things that make it all worthwhile.





*I could probably be approved, but they're unpredictable enough that I just don't want to risk an accident -- not so much for my own sake, but if I hurt someone else, I'd never forgive myself. My grandfather was an epileptic and he got into too many accidents because he was in denial. I swore to myself I would NOT be like him. Fortunately, there's a decent busing system in this area.

 

[Ruin]

I feel really bad for his parents. Can you imagine coming home after a hard days work cracking open a beer, and then having to deal with the obese autist in the next room screaming at his computer and rubbing jizz all over everything all evening?

 

[Frank Rizzo]

I feel really bad for his parents. Can you imagine coming home after a hard days work cracking open a beer, and then having to deal with the obese autist in the next room screaming at his computer and rubbing jizz all over everything all evening?

Oh, but wait....you heard Connor, his parents are "BAAAAW, TEH EVIL!" they just don't care about our poor, special snowflake...

 

[Mrs Paul]

After reading that, I could go for a beer. And there's none in the house. MY LIFE SUCKS!!!!

 

[Frank Rizzo]

After reading that, I could go for a beer. And there's none in the house. MY LIFE SUCKS!!!!

Well, as we speak, my neighbors are outside going apeshit because Duke won the National Title.....IT'S LIKE LIFE IS KICKING ME IN THE BALLS!

 

[Hi I Am From Page 6]

So out of curiosity, why do you guys keep going around and around with him like this?

For me it's because he's one of the more human of the lolcows. Holden, to use an example, is a horrifying piece of slime. Connor is just a sulky boy. That's redeemable.
And I can kind of relate to Connor's fear of failure, difficulty getting started on stuff, and having an existential crisis every 3 minutes. I just deal with it a bit better.

 

[Mrs Paul]

Well, as we speak, my neighbors are outside going apeshit because Duke won the National Title.....IT'S LIKE LIFE IS KICKING ME IN THE BALLS!

That's nothing -- my Penguins got their asses kicked by the Flyers on Sunday. FML


(Heh, sports iz siriuz bizness)

 

[MysticMisty]

You know who Connor reminds me of with his whining about helping his grandma run errands? Chris when he talked about pulling weeds and mowing the lawn. All that's missing is Connor's version of the ten-ton dog house.

 

[Mrs Paul]

I'd give anything to be able to help my grandmother run errands. Either of them.

 

[Conrix]

For me it's because he's one of the more human of the lolcows. Holden, to use an example, is a horrifying piece of slime. Connor is just a sulky boy. That's redeemable.
And I can kind of relate to @Connor's fear of failure, difficulty getting started on stuff, and having an existential crisis every 3 minutes. I just deal with it a bit better.

i.e. don't whine about it on public internet forums looking for asspats, face your crippling fears of failure, and get shit done.

Spoiler: Entering A-Log Zone

And for a bit of A-Logging, Connor.wad took roughly as much, if not more, effort to devise and build than what Connor wrote of Redesigning Eva, I can relate to these same issues but I was able to produce the WAD in its current state in about a week of scenario work, OCD bugfixing, and copy-pasting/editing the same room for 13 levels, just for the love of Doom and schadenfreude. The skeleton of Redesigning Eva reportedly took five years. Five. Whole. Years. For three chapters. That are barely three pages each. I know passion plays a role in this; Connor is definitely more passionate about receiving positive attention and asspats than actually writing, probably because of what Sigyn said before about writing a memoir. But five years is outright pathetic for a glorified skeleton of a fanfic that barely amounts to seven pages of work. A monkey with a typewriter could scrawl a Goku x Molly Ringwald slashfic in a small but significant fraction of that time. Shit I think I gave Connor an idea he's most likely not going to act upon. So in short you can't just live off your magnum opus; just for the cosmically miniscule chance that Connor clicked the A-Log Zone and read this.

 

[EI 903]

Gentle reminder to folks that even though Connor brings it out like no other lolcow,

• Hide your Powerlevel. Avoid revealing intimate, personal details about yourself in public boards. These threads are not your personal blog and we are not an asylum.

is still a rule. We have multiple threads in Off-Topic for discussion of people's personal lives and issues. We don't want this to become the "I'm better than Connor because x" thread.

 

[Overcast]

AM I EXPECTED TO TAKE HARDSHIP LIKE A FUCKING CHAMP?!

Yes Connor. Yes you are.

We all have to deal with unpleasant times every now and again. Yeah, it's hard. And yes, it sometimes hurts. But we come out stronger and more experienced every time we get through. It's how we learn, it's how we grow, it's how we improve.

You and I are both in some form of rut Connor. I want to get out of mine, and I'm sure you want to get out of yours just as badly. To do that however, you're going to have to get over that negative attitude of yours and do something about your life.

I can't really give you clear directions myself as that would make me look a bit foolish, but so many people on this forum are taking the time out of their day to try and help you get on the right track. Listen to them, take what they say to heart, and for god's sake stop being so argumentative and resistant to what they have to say.