🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%
  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%
  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%
  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%

  • Total voters
    961
Gentle reminder to folks that even though Connor brings it out like no other lolcow,

  • Hide your Powerlevel. Avoid revealing intimate, personal details about yourself in public boards. These threads are not your personal blog and we are not an asylum.
is still a rule. We have multiple threads in Off-Topic for discussion of people's personal lives and issues. We don't want this to become the "I'm better than Connor because x" thread.

I get the impression a lot of people are addressing their own internal Connors as much as Connor himself in here.
 
I get the impression a lot of people are addressing their own internal Connors as much as Connor himself in here.

Because everyone has Connor-like tendencies. That's why even when we know he's going to chimp out we try to encourage him anyway.
 
there once was a sperg from port royal
who wanted some friends who were loyal
he pissed and he moaned
on the forums he groaned
til on plagiarized novels he toiled
 
Also

rate me late idgaf, but

only girls hang themselves. women don't utilize violent deaths because they don't want to be ugly in their casket.

Hanging doesn't leave pretty corpses, bro. Unless you're into pale chicks with vascular faces and bloated black tongues. Who are also dead.
 
I apologize if I sounded like I was trying to show off or belittle Connor. That's pretty much how my family responds to depression and struggling, with a "I did it, that means you can do it!" or a "I got your back now GO!" attitude. There are some strong black women in my family and they're part of the reason I became determined to not let my depression get the better of me. It's more empowering to improve as a group rather than doing it alone, so I guess that's why there are so many bursts of power-leveling in this thread in an attempt to motivate Connor to come tough it out with everyone else.

A close relative struggled with alcoholism for years before turning his life around, and seeing how unhappy he was before is what keeps him going. I feel that's why people keep trying with Connor and even Chris. It's never too late to turn things around, and that applies to them too.


But yeah, looking at BriarHeart's post again I'm reminded that nothing will change until these guys let go of their unrealistic expectations (Chris finding people willing to put up with his poor attitude, and Connor becoming a famous writer without actually working for it). :(


I'll just go back to lurking. Hopefully Connor will one day be able to post a few pages of reviews or short stories he's written, if that's truly his passion.
 
Hanging doesn't leave pretty corpses, bro. Unless you're into pale chicks with vascular faces and bloated black tongues. Who are also dead.
Oh you're right.

XFodt0r.png


Women overdose. Silly me.
 
Oh you're right.

XFodt0r.png


Women overdose. Silly me.
I'm surprised firearms came in such a close second. All the women I've talked to who've attempted tried to do it in ways that made the least amount of mess (slitting wrists in the tub, drinking cleaning products, ODing), so friends/family members/whoever found them wouldn't have to deal with a lot of cleanup.
. . .but back on topic. . .
Man, I can't wait until @Connor comes back. I was kinda hoping when I got on today that I'd find that he had already been here & made a meek little "sorry guys let's hang out again I'll do better" post before skulking off again.
In other news, I think my kidneys are back to normal, but my back still really hurts. It's like life is kicking me in the balls.
 
I'm surprised firearms came in such a close second. All the women I've talked to who've attempted tried to do it in ways that made the least amount of mess (slitting wrists in the tub, drinking cleaning products, ODing), so friends/family members/whoever found them wouldn't have to deal with a lot of cleanup.
. . .but back on topic. . .
Man, I can't wait until @Connor comes back. I was kinda hoping when I got on today that I'd find that he had already been here & made a meek little "sorry guys let's hang out again I'll do better" post before skulking off again.
In other news, I think my kidneys are back to normal, but my back still really hurts. It's like life is kicking me in the balls.

So what, you're supposed to suck it up, take your antibiotics, and try to feel better like a chump?

(j/k ilu bb)
 
I'm surprised firearms came in such a close second. All the women I've talked to who've attempted tried to do it in ways that made the least amount of mess (slitting wrists in the tub, drinking cleaning products, ODing), so friends/family members/whoever found them wouldn't have to deal with a lot of cleanup.
. . .but back on topic. . .
Man, I can't wait until @Connor comes back. I was kinda hoping when I got on today that I'd find that he had already been here & made a meek little "sorry guys let's hang out again I'll do better" post before skulking off again.
In other news, I think my kidneys are back to normal, but my back still really hurts. It's like life is kicking me in the balls.
To drag this thread further off-topic, I'd just like to add that drinking cleaning products is in no way a clean way to die.
You're gonna puke. Like alot. Disgusting black ichor puke, laced with blood and pieces of you stomach and esophagus. Most victims who choose this method often try to kill themselves in a different manner shortly after ingesting the poison in order to stop the excruciating pain.

Source: A rather sobering semester with a crime scene investigator.

Back on topic, I'm kinda sad I missed Connor again, but I guess I just have to wait for his inevitable return in a few days or so. My money says he'll act like this last tantrum didn't even happen and he'll be back in the "hang out" part of the cycle.
 
To drag this thread further off-topic, I'd just like to add that drinking cleaning products is in no way a clean way to die.
You're gonna puke. Like alot. Disgusting black ichor puke, laced with blood and pieces of you stomach and esophagus. Most victims who choose this method often try to kill themselves in a different manner shortly after ingesting the poison in order to stop the excruciating pain.

Source: A rather sobering semester with a crime scene investigator.

Back on topic, I'm kinda sad I missed Connor again, but I guess I just have to wait for his inevitable return in a few days or so. My money says he'll act like this last tantrum didn't even happen and he'll be back in the "hang out" part of the cycle.
. . .oh, right. Good point. I forgot about all the vomiting involved.
But yeah, that's what I'm thinking, too. I'm expecting, in this order, a faux-apology, then the "hanging out" bit, then a nuclear chimpout when nobody will oblige him.
So what, you're supposed to suck it up, take your antibiotics, and try to feel better like a chump?

(j/k ilu bb)
But every time I take the antibiotics, I feel worse! I'm sick when I take 'em, I'm sick when I don't---what's in it for me, you fucking scumbag?
(I knowww ilu2 lemme know when you're in bumblefuck & we can chill)

You know who Connor reminds me of with his whining about helping his grandma run errands? Chris when he talked about pulling weeds and mowing the lawn. All that's missing is Connor's version of the ten-ton dog house.
Honestly, whenever I see him post, all I can think is that he sounds more like Chris by the day.
 
To drag this thread further off-topic, I'd just like to add that drinking cleaning products is in no way a clean way to die.
You're gonna puke. Like alot. Disgusting black ichor puke, laced with blood and pieces of you stomach and esophagus. Most victims who choose this method often try to kill themselves in a different manner shortly after ingesting the poison in order to stop the excruciating pain.

Source: A rather sobering semester with a crime scene investigator.

Back on topic, I'm kinda sad I missed Connor again, but I guess I just have to wait for his inevitable return in a few days or so. My money says he'll act like this last tantrum didn't even happen and he'll be back in the "hang out" part of the cycle.
Don't forget apologizing to @Hellblazer and anyone else he lashed out at.
I'll take those optimistic ratings now.
I don't care if he ignores the shitfest he threw. I want him to answer @CatParty on whether or not Alphaboy is going to wear a cape. And his writing progress.
the worst part about drinking cleaning products would be, depending on what they are, the acid content. drain cleaner's going to start eating right through you. I wouldn't blame someone for finding a faster way to end that pain.
 
Damn, I missed First World Problems Connor yesterday, that Connor is my favorite.
Then I'll fucking leave, Locksnap.
Throws down 20 bucks.
I give it 16 days.

Somewhere a WrongPlanet admin has a vaguely queasy feeling and doesn't know why yet. All he knows is that something spergy is on the way.
Huh, I thought you moderated that place too. I assumed you kinda moderated everything. Am I to believe BrooklynBailiff isn't the admin there either?
 
Sorry for asking, but does anybody actually know Connor's most recent activity on WP? His current profile (The Gift) provides an error when you try to view it.

Also


Expectations.

In every single one of these posts, Connor spergs out about expectations [of others]. He never looks at doing things for his own sake, rather he thinks that he has to 'try' for the sake of people around him, or rather operate under their expectations.

I think he does this because it's so engrained in him at this point by his family. He does whatever he's told because he doesn't view himself as having any other choice. He views it this way because he's so frightened of the consequences of rebelling, and of course because displacing responsibility of his actions to others is the easy way out, and he's lazy.

But his family makes him do mundane, simple things. Go to Grannies, do one fucking course at College... That's all I can think of.

In the past, there might have been more. I think what ultimately started this was Connor's ego and autism and how his family incorrectly handled his autism. He's been spoonfed his entire life, and although he tries so hard to be more than that and to have some semblance of self-reliance, he will fail because of his lack of conviction and because of his environment. So he instead survives on the expectations of his family.

But then he comes here, to these forums, acting under the same mindset. He wants to operate under the same circumstances and meet the expectations of the people here. The thing is though, we hold him to much higher standards, we want him to break free of his parent's Power of Attorney and live life for himself. He subsequently shuts down because of this. He doesn't recognize his ability to do this, let alone putting the effort into actually executing it.

Connor avoids living for himself, and what he truly wants. Because he fears that. He knows what he wants is to just be lazy, not to try and have fame regardless of that, as @BriarHeart stated. Paradoxically though, at the same time he's narcissist, he also lacks any self-worth. I think Connor believes on some level he doesn't deserve to be happy because of how awful he's lived his life so far.

In theory, it'd be relatively easy for Connor to break out of this and live a life for himself. But the reality is that nobody in his life outside of the internet believes he can, so he doesn't either. He's taken the path of least resistance for so long he has virtually zero willpower.

What Connor needs is for someone to contact his parents. They need to told that he isn't jacking off all the time, but rather actually posting on these forums, trying to better himself but ultimately failing because of his surroundings and himself. They need to be told that there's better alternatives out there for him. He probably needs to go to some sort of rehabilitation centre for a few months with extensive therapy and proper medication, and maybe after diagnosis he'll be placed to live in a group home and won't be fit for society ever. But at least he'd be happier there.

And that actually isn't impossible, given how easy Connor made to dox him, but it'd probably be considered weening, and maybe his parents are actually insane and would rather keep him as a caged pet. He'd also no longer be a lolcow, and nobody wants to lose another one of those. :)
 
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He probably needs to go to some sort of rehabilitation centre for a few months with extensive therapy and proper medication, and maybe after diagnosis he'll be placed to live in a group home and won't be fit for society ever. But at least he'd be happier there.

A group home, are you serious? Connor isn't even close to needing that.
 
A group home, are you serious? Connor isn't even close to needing that.

In terms of his mental faculties no. However his socialization skills are extremely broken probably almost non existent. A group home may be a bit much but If he wants a shot at a normal life he's going to need fairly intensive therapy.
 
The most frustrating thing about Connor (in my opinion) is that he ISN'T a lost cause. He's not like Chris in that he's a poorly socialized paranoid low functioning autistic.

Through his posting history we have multiple instances where he freaks out because he thinks he can't do something - writing papers and doing class work primarily - and comes back later to say "actually everything went better then expected!". He's not stupid, he's just spergy, lazy, and too focused in his interests. This is coupled with a hair trigger for rage, a dislike of women due to Nice Guy syndrome, and what appears to be major anxiety and depression.

None of which are being worked on, mind you. There's the frustration part. You'd think something like two years seeing the same therapist would have helped him progress with his crippling fear of failure but it hasn't. Even with parents that he claims constantly fight, they still care for him and with relatives only a block over he has a support network if he chose to utilize it. Academically he's done average-to-good, he's shown an ability to write better than average when he has focus and takes criticism but that's becoming increasingly rare.

Connor has potential and with his stagnation that is quite unfortunate.
 
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