🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[January Cyst]

The sad thing is that Connor would actually be pitiable if he tried to take advice and wasn't prone to to angry chimpouts like these.

That can be said for most lolcows.
But denial and sloth are their M.O. and changing that would probably free them from the lolcow title.

 

[Picklechu]

Well, Connie lasted longer than I expected him to. He'll be back in a week or two to "hang out," and the cycle will continue.

Spoiler: The cycle continues.

Somewhere a WrongPlanet admin has a vaguely queasy feeling and doesn't know why yet. All he knows is that something spergy is on the way.

Something spergy this way comes...

 

[Meowthkip]

So I'm expected to achieve the bullshit goals I set for myself, knowing full well I won't gain any happiness from it?

Won't know until you try.

AM I EXPECTED TO TAKE HARDSHIP LIKE A FUCKING CHAMP?!

No, you're expected to take it with dignity and grace.

... Shit, I missed him!

 

[Frank Rizzo]

Well, Connie lasted longer than I expected him to. He'll be back in a week or two to "hang out," and the cycle will continue.

Yeah, he'll come back, make a few snide comments about OPL and Nick Bate, and think to himself "Hurrah! I'm one of the cool kids again!"

 

[Smutley]

No, you're expected to take it with dignity and grace.

Can you hug Molly Ringwald forever, Meowthkip? Can you carry all the groceries from the car in one trip? Can you say to null, "HEY! Stop being a dick for a second"? NO.

SUCH IS CONNOR

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Earlier, I posted that Connor doesn't have control over his income, which apparently is why he can't move out on his own. Connor agreed with that post, shortly before he ragequit in a later post. So, how can Connor regain control of his income, which is a crucial step in living on his own?

Also, we're not trying to tell Connor how to live his life, we're giving advice on how he can get out of a situation that he admitted to hating.

 

[Dudeofteenage]

I admit I don't know the specifics of entitlement law in the USA or South Carolina, but I imagine that the only way Connor was able to lose control of his tugboat was through mental incapacity. He claims his parents made him sign some kind of legal document in lieu of a suicide attempt that made them custodians of his welfare payments, presumably on this basis.

Presuming all this is accurate, the provision is probably not intended to be irreversible, and Connor can presumably regain control of his payments by showing that he is no longer mentally incapacitated. This might not be as easy as it ideally should be, but I think we can all agree that time Connor spent researching exactly how he lost control of his payments, and what steps he needs to take to reverse this, would be time well spent.

 

[Sonic Hoo]

by showing that he is no longer mentally incapacitated

But that takes too much effort.

 

[Meowthkip]

Can you hug Molly Ringwald forever, Meowthkip? Can you carry all the groceries from the car in one trip? Can you say to null, "HEY! Stop being a dick for a second"? NO.

SUCH IS CONNOR

He should start dressing like that, I think.

 

[Sigyn]

Reminds me of a trope, the Knight in Sour Armor. I think I'm expected to be something akin to this character type. The world has let him down. He's seen ugliness and experienced betrayal. He hates his job, and frequently bemoans the state of the world he lives in, but does his job anyway not because he likes it, but because there's no one else available and it's the right thing to do.

This is beyond autistic, and has gone into the performance-art side of the spectrum. If only I thought you were actually faking.

I'm sick and tired of your macho, "misery builds character" bullshit.

It's not "misery builds character" bullshit Connor, it's literally "Your life sucks and it's not fair but this is what you have to do to get out of it, this thing here" and you just go "NO BUT I WANT THE EASY MODE"
Like, shut up dude. People have survived worse with less means.
EDIT: Sorry for doubleposting

Then I'll fucking leave, Locksnap.

Pls do. You're not getting help from a place like this

 

[Linako 2.0]

Conner, stop being a whiny dipshit, I already have to endure my girlfriend's teen angst.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

Connor isn't even a teenager - he's too old for this BS

 

[Philosophy Zombie]

Aww, Connor's being his adorable ole self again! If only I was here with all of you to watch this.

Do you need a hug, Connie?

Spoiler

Don't worry. We'll always be here for you.
xoxo your friends at Kiwi Farms

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Here's a kiwi doing something: best kiwi bird video ever

Hopefully, Connor may be inspired by this kiwi keeping at it and get out on his own, if that's what he truly wants.

 

[LordDarkrai]

Darn, I missed him. I was going to give him credit for making reasonable posts until now. I'm disappointed and yet, I'm not really surprised at all.

 

[DirtbagDeluxe]

So out of curiosity, why do you guys keep going around and around with him like this? is it because he's sort of homegrown so there's a larger margin of acceptable bullshit? Because he is going to stay exactly the same. There hasn't been any change from the beginning to now except he wised up about his adoption mouthing off, from an outside kiwi perspective. You guys have been staring into the void for awhile, I think.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

Darn, I missed him. I was going to give him credit for making reasonable posts until now. I'm disappointed and yet, I'm not really surprised at all.

sigh

Pls do. You're not getting help from a place like this

he would if he'd fucking LISTEN

So out of curiosity, why do you guys keep going around and around with him like this? is it because he's sort of homegrown so there's a larger margin of acceptable bullshit? Because he is going to stay exactly the same. There hasn't been any change from the beginning to now except he wised up about his adoption mouthing off, from an outside kiwi perspective. You guys have been staring into the void for awhile, I think.

Because we genuinely want him to get better.

So I'm expected to achieve the bullshit goals I set for myself, knowing full well I won't gain any happiness from it?

I guess I'm expected to achieve in spite of my pessimism.

Reminds me of a trope, the Knight in Sour Armor. I think I'm expected to be something akin to this character type. The world has let him down. He's seen ugliness and experienced betrayal. He hates his job, and frequently bemoans the state of the world he lives in, but does his job anyway not because he likes it, but because there's no one else available and it's the right thing to do.

How am I expected to grin and bear it in spite of the shit I go though?

So I'm expected to buy into the "que sera, sera", never say die bullshit?

You know what? Fuck all of you. What gives you the right to tell me how to live and how to think?

 

[nad7155]

why do you guys keep going around and around with him like this?

genewilder.jpg

 

[Frank Rizzo]

I wonder how long it'll be before he makes a thread on Wrong Planet bawwwing about how we were being meanies to him today.

 

[Philosophy Zombie]

So out of curiosity, why do you guys keep going around and around with him like this? is it because he's sort of homegrown so there's a larger margin of acceptable bullshit? Because he is going to stay exactly the same. There hasn't been any change from the beginning to now except he wised up about his adoption mouthing off, from an outside kiwi perspective. You guys have been staring into the void for awhile, I think.

We have this forum game we play with a lot of lolcows where they show up on their respective threads and pose the same wrong or stupid arguments or statements over and over again, and we post long responses where we refute said arguments in the same way over and over again in the hopes that the lolcow will Change. This can go on for hundreds or thousands of pages despite the fact that the probability of him or her changing in a positive way is about as likely as the sun going nova tonight and spilling chunks of candy and ice cream on the scorched earth.
Fortunately it's a symbiotic relationship because we and the lolcow mutually feed and compliment one another's autism like an adorable sped-kiwi ouroboros.

Spoiler

When the system reaches equilibrium, we are at peace. The A-logs have won.