🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[BOLDYSPICY!]

Don't forget the writing contest Katsu hosted.

Ah, right, I'd nearly forgotten.

Old Mick's Barbershop: A little boy is taken to get a haircut from a deranged barber. Loosely based on something that actually happened in my life.

 

[NobleGreyHorse]

(insert joke about how that explains his hair of today)

 

[caffeinated_wench]

Y'know, after reading the first chapter I thought Sean's physical description sounded familiar...

Spoiler: Sean Gillespie

 

[Hi I Am From Page 6]

I'm not going to debate you people. I really am getting tired of Molly Ringwald. Despite her almost comical attempts at making a comeback and staying relevant, her career is deader than fucking disco.

Connor, you're adorable when you try to be cynical and edgy, because it's obvious that deep down inside you pretty close to the surface, actually, is a little boy crying and wondering why Molly won't love him and why everyone is so mean and nasty.

 

[glutenfreebooty]

Bro, you don't have to lie about how much you love Molly. She's obviously your muse.

 

[trueandhonestfan]

Because why? You don't believe that she really did make an account onto this forums? Get a grip man and be optimistic or something.

I am not ever going to get tired of my 80s obsession brah, you really sound like you're just being spiteful and that someone created the account to troll you.

You're not even worth trolling brah, you're just worth the free laughs you give regardless.

He probably just messaged her or something and she didn't respond. Or he's going through his cycle of believing, calling her a fake (and maybe insulting her), only to believe again by the next time he posts.

 

[Reddit Avenger]

The one time I miss Connor he's in his fabled edgelord phase.

Fuck.

 

[Xarpho]

Hey, Connor, two questions:

1) Are you being flooded from the rains of Hurricane Joaquin?

2) Are you related, even distantly, to the late legendary football coach Dana X. Bible?

 

[MasterDisaster]

All right @Connor Bible I didn't release this before because you seemed so enthusiastic to follow through on the project I gave you. I thought 'boy, maybe he can redeem himself just a little' so I sat on this thinking you'd follow through.
...Boy I should have fucking known better. So here it is, unedited (because I'm so busy with work), my interview with Connor.

Son, I am disappoint.

(I apologize for the clicking sound; I was on my shit laptop.) Here's a fun game, too: see how many Connorism's you can pick out from the conversation!

 

[Meowthkip]

All right @Connor Bible I didn't release this before because you seemed so enthusiastic to follow through on the project I gave you. I thought 'boy, maybe he can redeem himself just a little' so I sat on this thinking you'd follow through.
...Boy I should have fucking known better. So here it is, unedited (because I'm so busy with work), my interview with Connor.

Son, I am disappoint.

(I apologize for the clicking sound; I was on my shit laptop.) Here's a fun game, too: see how many Connorism's you can pick out from the conversation!

Everything about Connor's voice and delivery just oozes impotence.

 

[Bugaboo]

I remember once me and a bunch of other peeps were in a call with Connor and he was talking about Alphaboi and we stroked his ego so hard because we wanted to get some juicy details about it. It's legit just Superman and I don't remember much else but he was so fucking smug about it.

 

[Accel_Rider]

I expected more originality from the guy who listens to the Benny Hill theme song as an inspiration for his writing

 

[LiquidCooledGonads]

To be honest, I didn't expect a voice that deep.

 

[caffeinated_wench]

All right @Connor Bible I didn't release this before because you seemed so enthusiastic to follow through on the project I gave you. I thought 'boy, maybe he can redeem himself just a little' so I sat on this thinking you'd follow through.
...Boy I should have fucking known better. So here it is, unedited (because I'm so busy with work), my interview with Connor.

Son, I am disappoint.

(I apologize for the clicking sound; I was on my shit laptop.) Here's a fun game, too: see how many Connorism's you can pick out from the conversation!

I fucking died when he talked about hack writers cobbling together other works. Y'know, the exact same thing Connor does.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

All right @Connor Bible I didn't release this before because you seemed so enthusiastic to follow through on the project I gave you. I thought 'boy, maybe he can redeem himself just a little' so I sat on this thinking you'd follow through.
...Boy I should have fucking known better. So here it is, unedited (because I'm so busy with work), my interview with Connor.

Son, I am disappoint.

(I apologize for the clicking sound; I was on my shit laptop.) Here's a fun game, too: see how many Connorism's you can pick out from the conversation!

It's exactly like listening to a Yahtzee review, except you're ripping apart cows instead of video games. & I laugh just as hard.

EDITED TO ADD:

I actually picked three elements he was required to build the story around as a creative exercise. Of course classic Connor still seems to find reasons why he can't work on it like classes and such but he assures me from time to time that he is in fact nearing completion. Honestly I'd just be impressed if he actually pulled it off.

I haven't gotten any flooding in my part of South Carolina, but I have been getting a good deal of rain. I sincerely apologize to @MasterDisaster for not getting his story request done. I'm on my laptop right now, and the story is saved on my tablet. I do have good news... I am now three chapters and 3,918 words into Alphaboy.

I like who Connor sounded so completely defeated & simpering when @MasterDisaster gave him a project to do---only to come back totally smug about how he essentially blew it off.

@Connor Bible , why don't you post what you have of the story? I'm sure the rest of us want to see it.

 

[MysticMisty]

Connor why do you feel like you've outgrown video games? I really want to know why you say that.

 

[Lorento]

All right @Connor Bible I didn't release this before because you seemed so enthusiastic to follow through on the project I gave you. I thought 'boy, maybe he can redeem himself just a little' so I sat on this thinking you'd follow through.
...Boy I should have fucking known better. So here it is, unedited (because I'm so busy with work), my interview with Connor.

Son, I am disappoint.

(I apologize for the clicking sound; I was on my shit laptop.) Here's a fun game, too: see how many Connorism's you can pick out from the conversation!

I love when you say "I'm only trying to help.", presumably with an evil grin plastered onto your face.

 

[Silver]

All right @Connor Bible I didn't release this before because you seemed so enthusiastic to follow through on the project I gave you. I thought 'boy, maybe he can redeem himself just a little' so I sat on this thinking you'd follow through.
...Boy I should have fucking known better. So here it is, unedited (because I'm so busy with work), my interview with Connor.

Son, I am disappoint.

(I apologize for the clicking sound; I was on my shit laptop.) Here's a fun game, too: see how many Connorism's you can pick out from the conversation!

I can't stop fucking laughing listening to this it is beautiful. Thank you for this gift.

 

[Xarpho]

Not sure right now if Connor can even read this thread, since I've been reading about all the people without power in the Carolinas.

 

[Reflux]

To be honest, I didn't expect a voice that deep.

I'm pretty new to Connor's drama so this is the first time I've heard him speak, but not only did I not expect this, I expected a more nasally voice dripping with smugness and resentment. Connor just sounds bored and apathetic. For someone with memorable quotes such as "FUCKY YOU" and the nuking quote I expected someone with more passion in their voice. In a way it's sad, but at the same time, I guess I shouldn't expect anything better to come from Connor.