a shitpost feature

[KRAINOS]

Make a little 'desktop buddy' for the site but it's a kiwi and you can drag and drop him somewhere on the page. Maybe if you click him he cycles through various activities like sitting, sleeping, dancing and of course sneeding

 

[Swiss46]

Create an AI agent that summerizes/rates the last 100 posts a user has made to the site in the politic boards. Ideally it will be used by two slap fighting retards to accuse the other poster of being a bigger retard.

 

[Adamska]

best idea for something funny or useful might get implemented

An AI scraper that indicates how much time particular cows that have a strong history with the website talks about or thinks about it.

Alternatively a mini game where you play a random cow that only activates when the website is down. Similar to the running dinosaur thing one for Chrome.

 

[A Cat in a Minefield]

Make the AI detect posts that have unusually large amounts of Informative stickers, digest the content into a concise title, and create an index with links to each such posts that can show up alongside the OP. The point of this is that if you're in a lolcow thread with 5000 pages all the relevant information dug up by the users over the months/years will be scattered around in a way that, if the OP is not properly updated, are way too hard to find. With AI maybe you could make a "table of contents" of some sort that facilitates finding posts from eventful moments in the lolcow's history.
quick edit: the Informative sticker thing is just one possible way to achieve the end goal, other parameters could be considered as well.

That'd actually be so nice to have.

You could even format / render it as a timeline or something at the top of the thread. The most important posts are indicated on the timeline, as dots or whatever. By clicking on them you jump to that post. This would also give an easy way to browse the thread by time / date so you dont have to guess the page number.

Browsing the thread via dates would be so nice.

 

[ita]

checkmark by my username so everyone knows I am a true and honest user of this website

 

[Christorian X's Older Bro]

I don't think this is that goood of an idea, but it is certainly funny, and would generate lots of positive interaction for both users and jannies:
Let @Jannybot automatically suggest users for a halal after a certain amount of posts and/or reactions, but after the barrier has been set relatively high. No can say they didn't deserve it if it happens because it's not a human, it'll be trained from all of the posts from this site so it IS biased but in users favor, and could have a feature where users would have to have a pink triangle or other similar demerit before they are set for consideration.
Thoughts?

 

[TrainWreckWatcher]

Make a Discord Alternative.

Use IRC for the base.
P2P file sharing. Can you do this for video streaming too? If so Perfect.
Self hosting servers something like the fediverse for joining etc. If you're worried about bots or spammers make them register an account or something for approval.
People being able to say faggot and nigger again and share files without paying furries would destroy them.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

I have one idea and if it succeeds we can dig some pretty interesting dirt on one particular cow, but it requires either a script or AI agent that will skim through archived pages on the Wayback Machine with a particular pattern in URL for the set period of time. Doing it manually will take forever and there is still a chance of finding either fuck all or a nothingburger, but I am hopeful.

 

[Rei is Shit.]

$200 of tokens I sleep

 

[MIZTA miami]

2d Web game were you can put your favourite cows on a island and see what happens (I.e Tomodachi life)

 

[Coldsteel the Hedgeheg]

I'd unironically use something that takes your watched/read/participated threads and recommends new ones based on what other users with similar tastes engage with and/or other predictive factors. I think it would go perfect with all the Kiwi Clippy/bonzi buddy suggestions by giving it something to actually do.

 

[Castoreum]

It's already October 10th, make them Christmas zombies

instead of zombies it can be naughty vs nice. collect presents instead of antidotes. naughty users make nice users naughty by bullying them (just a button to click). nice users can make naughty users nice again by giving them a present... naughty users can't give presents, but break them. if you're nice by Dec 25 you get a visit from santa. if you're naughty krampus bounces around on your screen till the new year.

 

[Cavalier Cipolla]

Some bot that would answer the question "is this niggerlicious or is this divine intellect?" for a post someone makes.

 

[ducktales4gameboy]

Make a thread scraper that reads every page in a cow thread collecting facts about the cow and the source of said facts and use the whole thing to autogenerate the lolcow wiki with an autistic amount of citations.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Lolcow recommendations for users. Most people signing up for KF probably have an individual or community in mind when doing so (trannies, one of the Prime Cuts, some YouTuber with fresh drama etc.). But, for those who want to get into lolcow content feet first (or bored users), you could have a little chat bot that'll ask them what kind of content they want or like, as well as what they DON'T, and point them to a relevant thread; if it's an existing user, the recommendations could also be made based on their reading history and followed threads/fora.

 

[Ferryman]

Code proper IRC integration for Sneedchat. IIRC someone was already doing something similar with a CLI client but proper IRC support a al Bitlbee would be scrumptious.

Make a Discord Alternative.

Use IRC for the base.
P2P file sharing. Can you do this for video streaming too? If so Perfect.
Self hosting servers something like the fediverse for joining etc. If you're worried about bots or spammers make them register an account or something for approval.
People being able to say faggot and nigger again and share files without paying furries would destroy them.

This would be even better fr fr ong no cap on a stack my shteezy

 

[Probably An Autist]

Analyze the big ticket, popular threads threads and, using quote replies and reactions, name and shame the biggest derailers and retards of the thread so we know who to ignore and ridicule for their gay opinons

 

[Willy McGilly]

Have the AI write titles and descriptions of discussions in a thread, then organize those on a map/timeline. This could make browsing through old or large threads more interesting, and would deter redundant repeat discussions (e.g. arguing about distros in the Linux thread for the 500th time).
Additional stuff could be added to the timeline, like a heatmap of periods with more posts or reactions than usual. The AI could write an explainer for each spike in attention.

 

[Suspicious Clothes]

It would be insanely useful to have something to collude statistics inside KF. It could range to where they are posting from, the number of visitors/users, total posts etc.

But also for mass debates, if you can link every officials statistics of the USA and let it make links between numbers, it could reveal anomalies that we didn't see before, that was hidden in obscure documents. (and an easier access of information too).

Another thing too would be a wall/tag of "valuable/good" users, in parallel to the pink triangle, so we can distinguish genuinely good users from the rest. As a "reward" and someone you can trust more about what they say, over their total period since they started posting on KF.

 

[Moist Boys]

Make a thread scraper that reads every page in a cow thread collecting facts about the cow and the source of said facts and use the whole thing to autogenerate the lolcow wiki with an autistic amount of citations.

Grokipedia already does this. There is an entry for Kiwi Farms and Jeremy Hambly on first glance. It would still be a nice feature to have here for lolcow quick reference.