7/23 Court Date

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Tragi-Chan said:
He'll be given a short prison sentence. As the van drives him to prison, though, a mysterious black helicopter shoots at it, forcing it off the road. Chris is kidnapped and bundled into the chopper, which flies him to Area 51. He steps out of the helicopter. A burly man in the uniform of a general comes forward. "Mr Chandler," he says. "It is an honour." He leads the bewildered Chris into the heart of the sleek military facility. En route, he explains the situation.

"Mr Chandler, no doubt you are aware of what's happening in the world. Gay marriage being legalised. Homophobia at an all-time low. In short, Mr Chandler, in 2015, the USA is being overrun by faggots. And that's why we need you - the first one to foresee the problem and the first to suggest a cure."

Chris shakes his head in bewilderment. The General continues. "For years, our scientists have been working on the vaccine - ever since it was suggested in the pages of your comic. But such is the homo contamination of our society that truly straight men are a rare species indeed. Why, I myself am a happily married man, but even I love to watch Eurovision. Then our top man, Schwartz here, pointed out the obvious - you are a straight man. You'll never be diverted from that path. You are our last, best hope for the future. We need a sample of your blood."

Finally, Chris speaks. "I am a Beautiful Transgendered Lesbian Woman with Swinging D-Cup Breasts, and I take Great Expection to Anyone who tries to Tell Me Otherwise. They can Kiss the Vagina Of My Soul!"

The general pauses. His jaw drops. His eyes widen. Then, seemingly sorrowful, he draws his revolver and fires. Chris falls to the ground.

The General's secretary comes in. "What was that, sir?" she asks.

The general shakes his head. "Nothing, Lovely Weather. Just some... homo."
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Someone needs to make this a real thing.
 
bear in mind my experience is with UK courts and may not translate 100% although so far the system has been very similiar.

If this is a continuance it is likely to be the last- this is not a complex case however if the PD is so overworked as to not have prepared then they may have to ask for one.

It is possible that something might actually happen at this hearing, 3-4 months is about normal for a case over here. I know canada errs towards 6-8 months but i was under the impression about 6 months was normal in most of the US, Obviously that is just an average I read years ago and may be inaccurate/different in Virginia.

If nothing happens on this occasion it almost certainly will at the next.
 
Bluespike said:
The next Continu..er I mean Court Date is coming. Thoughts, predictions or any of the sort?
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Christine will take the stand, making an impassioned "I Have a Dweeem" speech a la MLK, and will win over the jury and the court. The jury will convert on the spot to CWCistiananity, and become Christines 12 apostles. Then, lo, The Great Direcktor will command his SJW minions to overthrow the White Anglo-Saxon Protestant majority and crown hirself God-Empress of Sonichu-Kind! Then hir 20 legions of Adeptes Astartes to destroy all Heresy in the Cosmos.

Then he'll get a hot lesbian girlfriend and totally have consensual hot lesbian sex for reals for reals.




Okay, okay....Even I admit that last part was far-fetched and implausible.

blackie toy said:
What is the theme song for this court appearance?
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"Its Raining Men"
 
Victor Hatherley said:
Chris's trial will take place 10^370 years from now and will be the final event to occur in this universe.
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The heat death of the universe will ignite Chris' :briefs:, causing a second Big Bang and making Chris the next God.

Or maybe... we're already living in that universe!
 
Before every trial hearing so far he has been quite active an odd on facebook in the day's preceding it. I think his silence is quite telling he is worried.
 
Realistically?

Last time Chris had a legal issue like this, it was nine or so months before his arraignment. I feel like this one will be end one of two ways:

1. Chris's arraignment is finally set, likely in a few months.

2. Continuance, but this is the last one before the first scenario takes place.
 
Much to everyone's surprise, a Sega representative shows up with a lawyer and gives a heartfelt speech that drives the judge to tears. Chris is sentenced to forced labor and Sega is awarded all rights to Sonichu. Sonichu is added to yet another Sonic Boom game.

The game is a critical and commercial failure.

Chris stress sighs and shits himself.
 
AnOminous said:
There isn't a plaintiff. This is a criminal case. The adverse party is Virginia itself, which like other states is an implacable entity that never runs out of patience. It will prosecute you until you die or it wins or loses.
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I never thought of it that way. When you phrase it like that, it sounds menacing and tyrannical.
"Listen, and understand! That Commonwealth is out here! It can't be bargained with! It can't be reasoned with It! doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or impatience. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are incarcerated! ....or acquitted. 'Coz that happens too, if you can prove your innocence."
 
Chris comes out of the court house, smiling as he got another continuance. Then out of no where A-log fires his revolver and kills him. A-Log is caught soon afterwards and says his motives where to "Finally kill that son of a bitch". A-Log is soon excuted not for killing Chris but for telling horrible jokes non-stop while in custody.

Meanwhile Kiwis don't believe the official story. They say A-log was an obvious plant by Sega to get Chris to shut up about the Blarms and revenge for the glitter bombs. They also postulate Chris wasn't acting alone and that the gamestop employee must have been hit by mace also coming from the grassy knoll- I mean food court. The debate rages for years.
 
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