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Everything that can be said about the space between chris asshole and balls has now officially been said, but thats not gonna stop me from joining in on Hillaryposting
Containment 24-Julay-2016 Taint Megathread
- Thread starter The American Hedgehog
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M
MY 405
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kiwifarms.net
Oh god, you're talking about Club brand cocktails. They've been around since I was a kid, and I'm your Kiwi Mom, and they are absolutely one of those things that pass through your life when you embark of the Wonderful World of Alcohol, because for about a month you think this is the greatest invention ever! They're all the classics: The Gin Martini, the Margarita, The Fuzzy Navel ... Just like @Marvin said, Girlie Drinks sold premixed in little cans like a V8 juice. Lazy booze for people who have no clue how to mix a cocktail or just don't give a fuck. They are all awful and you eventually learn to drink elsewhere. This explains a lot about Chris. I remember being surprised to read an email he wrote to a gal pal or sweetheart (I forget which) when he admitted he had been drinking to Bob and Bob took him down to the liquor store for a heart to heart. (I don't know what happened to that email, and I think it was on an old version of the board). He didn't really strike me as the kind of person who drinks regularly, let alone someone who drinks alone and on the quiet. He really has turned into a weird grandma cat lady. He's totally one of those people I see buying the big bottle of TGIFriday's Mudslide because it tastes like candy.
- Joined
- Feb 9, 2013
Oh yeah.
Like, I was trying to figure out who the target market is. It's stupid shit that only really inexperienced drinkers would go for. I'm guessing people buy them right after their 21st birthday, get really excited about them at first... and then start looking for cheaper sources of booze. But as far as drinking goes, Chris is perpetually 21, I guess.
M
MY 405
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kiwifarms.net
Pretty much. Back during the Apollo Era, they were a favorite with the country club cocktail at home set. Just snap one open, pour it in the appropriate glass and viola, any drink you want, and it was nasty, nasty shit like Grasshoppers and Gimlets and shit you've never even heard of because the drink was THAT bad, but your mom might spend an hour sipping it while they all bitched about Ford and Nixon and you guys got to watch the black and white portable TV in the family room that had the plaid carpeting. I can't even remember the last time I saw a Club cocktail, they are so perfectly the upper-middle class suburban house lady I-Drink-At-Home-And-Hide-It item, perfect for Chris. I bet he thinks "ladies of refinement enjoy these". They require no thinking or skill.
- Joined
- Nov 10, 2015
Shit youd be doing real drugs too.
So kinda like premixed Jose Cuervo Margaritas?
Are they that expensive?
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2013
Lazy bastards mostly.
Whenever I'm working alcohol, there is always at least one dumbarse student asking where the pre-mixed JD & Cokes are, and only buying 3 when you can get 4 for £6 or something like that.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
They're not that expensive, so much as the amount of liquor in them is pathetic, so they would be very expensive as a way to get actually drunk. Also anything is too expensive for undrinkable swill. If you want to drink shitty mixed drinks, buy some shitty rum and some shitty cola and have shitty rum and cokes for cheap.
crownthefempire
kiwifarms.net
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- Aug 27, 2016
Being on the spectrum or having ADD actually make you somewhat immune to a lot of drugs you'd use for recreation for some reason. That's how adderall actually "works" but regular people can just get high off it.
I
IP 914
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kiwifarms.net
I truly had hope for Chris. I actually hoped he was actually starting to climb out the hole he dug, but this is worse then anything he has ever done.
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2013
If it offers you any comfort, I feel that Chris was broken from the start.
I never thought he'd actually end up trolling himself to death like this. God damn it Chris, just see a doctor and get it fixed before something even worse happens...
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2016
There are some taint wounds too deep to dig ourselves out of, it seems.
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- Apr 6, 2015
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2016
you could say that chris
is TAINTed
I could, but what?
- Joined
- Jun 11, 2015
Seriously how can anyone actually believe that Chris is improving when you see the perpetual shitstorm that his life has become ? Even before the taint thing, the blarm saga and his onslaught of begging videos showed quite clearly that his autistic dumbfuckery was as strong as ever.
Chris is hopeless and will lolcow himself to death.
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2014
He'll die as he lived; sperging.
- Joined
- Sep 11, 2016
Yeah, but more like 17 and kind of edgy, like he sneaks some of his parents' shit when they're out, decides it feels funny but tastes yucky, asks the Godbear for forgiveness, plows Officer Nasty for eight minutes, then rolls over and calls it a night at around 10:42 p.m.
- Joined
- Jul 14, 2016
[laugh track plays]you could say that chris
is TAINTed
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2016
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that Chris has already received treatment for his horrifying taint wound. Two things lead me to believe this:
-Chris is still alive: As of a few days ago, our favorite autist is alive and kicking. The image we all saw of the horror between his legs looked like it had already progressed quite a bit - unless Chris has a superhuman immune system, is immortal, or is actually growing a vagina, he probably would've been very, very sick weeks ago.
-Chris wouldn't tell us if he'd received treatment: Chris backtracked immediately after everyone's horrified reaction, simultaneously saying the photo was a hoax and that he had a real vagina. Mentioning it again, even in the context of medical treatment, invalidates both of those- and it forces Chris to say he doesn't have a vagina. No matter what happens, he's going to try to keep it hush hush.
Of course, it's speculation, and I know I'll be regretting this post when Chris spontaneously drops dead from vagina problems, but I think somebody on the front lines probably talked some sense into him.
-Chris is still alive: As of a few days ago, our favorite autist is alive and kicking. The image we all saw of the horror between his legs looked like it had already progressed quite a bit - unless Chris has a superhuman immune system, is immortal, or is actually growing a vagina, he probably would've been very, very sick weeks ago.
-Chris wouldn't tell us if he'd received treatment: Chris backtracked immediately after everyone's horrified reaction, simultaneously saying the photo was a hoax and that he had a real vagina. Mentioning it again, even in the context of medical treatment, invalidates both of those- and it forces Chris to say he doesn't have a vagina. No matter what happens, he's going to try to keep it hush hush.
Of course, it's speculation, and I know I'll be regretting this post when Chris spontaneously drops dead from vagina problems, but I think somebody on the front lines probably talked some sense into him.
- Joined
- Nov 10, 2015
The thing is barely an inch deep. If that bug infested rat hole he lives in hasnt killed him yet then this wont either.
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