🗑️ Trashfire StyxHexenhammer666 / Tarl Warwick - Oddball Occultist Neckbeard (who can make some interesting content) + his many scorned exes

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It hit me again today just how much of a poser and how corny Styx isinexcusable.

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Did anyone notice that after Tardl "unleashed a torrent of videos" on Wednesday, he didn't bother to upload anything yesterday? I was surprised to see the uploads today. Did he black out for a day? Does he know what day it is? The day before a court appearance I believe.

I suspect he will not even attempt to attend court. Also, he seems to be settling in at Mel's...
 
Did anyone notice that after Tardl "unleashed a torrent of videos" on Wednesday, he didn't bother to upload anything yesterday? I was surprised to see the uploads today. Did he black out for a day? Does he know what day it is? The day before a court appearance I believe.

I suspect he will not even attempt to attend court. Also, he seems to be settling in at Mel's...

He's that couch-surfing friend whom you have to evict after two years of making your home life purgatory. The kind of guy you'd gladly kill with your eyes if only looks could kill. There he is, feet on your coffee table when you come home from work—and he drinks your Cheladas* and doesn't chip in for toilet paper.

*And uses the empties as pretend grenades
 
Did anyone notice that after Tardl "unleashed a torrent of videos" on Wednesday, he didn't bother to upload anything yesterday? I was surprised to see the uploads today. Did he black out for a day? Does he know what day it is? The day before a court appearance I believe.

I suspect he will not even attempt to attend court. Also, he seems to be settling in at Mel's...
He's settling into his closet under the stairs just like Harry Potter. Except Harry Potter really could do magic. Make it Hairy Squatter instead.
 
Did they ever get to it? They were still rambling about Magic cards into the wee hours of the morning, so I went to bed. The video won't even load now, like its gone.
They watched him play with Magic cards for almost four fucking hours. I'm not exaggerating. The Magic segment starts at around 5:30 and goes until 9:07 when it's mercifully interrupted by news of Ethan Ralph's arrest (thank goodness for the ragepig). In total, they spent seven and a half hours on the Quartering last night. Surely, it's unhealthy to focus that much on one incontinent grifter, but I guess they know what brings in the views.

Styx got bumped, again. This is like the fourth time they've featured him in the preview and then failed to get around to him, so I guess he's not a priority. Imagine sucking so much that, even as you do everything in your power to flush your life down the toilet, producing an enormous amount of cringeworthy content in the process, streamers whose literal job it is to cover the downward spirals of e-celebs don't consider you important enough to allot a few minutes for in their 9+ hour show.

Or maybe they figure Styx is so consistent in his failing that they can just add this week's fail to next week's.
 
They watched him play with Magic cards for almost four fucking hours. I'm not exaggerating. The Magic segment starts at around 5:30 and goes until 9:07 when it's mercifully interrupted by news of Ethan Ralph's arrest (thank goodness for the ragepig). In total, they spent seven and a half hours on the Quartering last night. Surely, it's unhealthy to focus that much on one incontinent grifter, but I guess they know what brings in the views.

Styx got bumped, again. This is like the fourth time they've featured him in the preview and then failed to get around to him, so I guess he's not a priority. Imagine sucking so much that, even as you do everything in your power to flush your life down the toilet, producing an enormous amount of cringeworthy content in the process, streamers whose literal job it is to cover the downward spirals of e-celebs don't consider you important enough to allot a few minutes for in their 9+ hour show.

Or maybe they figure Styx is so consistent in his failing that they can just add this week's fail to next week's.
I just don't understand the quartering shit. I know he's a drunk dipshit but he's not a drunk dipshit that fucks retards while dressed like a pirate. Even so I get why their Styx segments are short, he's boring too at the end of the day.

Case in point, I've been bullying Tarl in this thread pretty regularly. This morning? Naw nigga, Ethan Ralph got arrested and it was, "go sit in the corner, Tarl, someone more entertaining decided to fuck up in a cooler way than you."

For all of Ralph's many faults, he's fun (intentional or otherwise) because he's deranged and bizarre at face value. Even pilled up he can say something clever or coin a phrase (intentional or otherwise... again). When he acts like a West Memphis wigger it's because he is.

Tarls image is fake and gay. The magic, the costume, the melee weapons, the foux intellectualism, muh chaotic neutral, Stolas, whatever stories he tells the retards he fucks, all of it. The smallest bit of scrutiny cuts right though it and what you have left is a boring dork who fucks retards.

You fuck retards Tarl.

*It's important to note that Ralph also knows to attend to court matters when told to do so.
 
Guys I've felt inspired by the world renowned successful author Tarl Warwick to become a writer.

I want to know what you guys think. My hope is that one day I can finish this as a complete book and then my hero Tarl can read it himself. :) Maybe he'll even narrate it for me if I ask nicely enough!

Silly Styx rises from the crumbled pile of mildew-filtered clothes and sheets on his bed with a slurred groan. The dim twilight of the gruesome cloud cover that typifies Rutland Vermont filters through the spaces of the nearby blinds, casting bars of shaded light against his pallid complexion. Styx's eyes squint as they adjust to wakened sobriety, regretting his rise from the swampy-yet-never-less warm confines of his nest. Filth-lined fingernails run rough through the slovenly mangle of wirey facial hair that framed his jaw and maxilla in a poorly kept goatee, cracked thin lips smacking as they taste the cool winter air.

Styx sniffs and winces, his head throbbing. He tries to speak (to whom he was uncertain) but the morning hangover is simply too great and all he can manage as he stumbles toward the edge of his bed is a slack-throated "Huahhhhh..." before he tips with half-closed eyes over the precipice of his comfort and falls to the floor with a thud.

He groans again, and rises (more staggered) to his feet. "Mmnh...Hat...Where's my hat?" An effeminate voiced Styx inquires to his crow's nest - for what is a pirate without his hat?

"Yes, a pirate. That's me!" Styx thinks to himself as he glances toward the broken mirror upon his over-stuffed dresser. He admires himself there, his body bedecked in unwashed leather; pants, boots and jacket he had found at a Goodwill. The jacket he left open, his flat, undeveloped pigeon chest bared to the world as though a source of great esteem, pressed into the never-cleaned leathers. One can imagine the smell.

He finds his hat, nestled as it were between the various tacky and disorganized trinkets and baubles his domain was broadly known for. He then places it over the messy tails of his grease-coated locks (who's color was darkened a shade by the severity of their soiling.) He takes his measure again in the mirror, and forces a squinting smile that leaves his rat-like and anemic features crinkling from the effort. For a brief moment he is no longer in Rutland but Barbados. "It's good to be a pirate." Styx thinks to himself before his head once again twinges, forcing him back to reality - for what is a pirate without his rum?

Styx hacks up a large guttural mass against the back of his throat before passing it through the neck of the nearest empty bottle. He thinks to himself about his present means and the path back to inebriation as he likewise passes through the frame of his doorway. He shambles lazily into the living room, from where half-coherent daytime TV noises filter throughout the rest of the shack he and his family call home.

Styx finds his way to the dilapidated living room. It was decidedly spartan in its amenities, with little in the way of furnishings save a nightstand with a non-working lamp, a couch brindled with duct tape keeping it together and a wall mounted TV set alongside various mountains of broken objects tented against the room's corners. Today's televised offering is Dr. Phil: "Alcohol ruined our marriage!" Styx pays it no mind. "Morning guys." Styx offers to his parents, idly sweeping the toebox of his boot across the dirt floor of their shared hovel. The neighbors thought it was a strange decorative choice but Styx Senior insisted on having 'easy access to the pipes'.

"Oh honey!" Styx's mother answers. "Its the evening. We just had dinner are you hungry?" Styx's mother looks up at him with sympathetic reservation, her aged eyes mixed with the love and exhaustion of a woman who was now accustomed to both. Styx senior for his part doesn't respond, his dispassionate gaze remains fixed to the TV in front of him. Styx Senior's moustache stretches over his upper lip as he sniffs and winces, blue-toned light from the TV reflecting off his bald head. Styx spoke up hopefully in response, his palm held to the back of his head. "Actually mom I was wondering if I could borrow a couple bucks."

Styx Senior's face scrunches up briefly before letting his lips and jowls hang low to signal his dissatisfaction to his wife who in response pursed her own lips tight while looking between them both. He says nothing, instead given to idly sorting through his collection of missing posters for local women in order to ease his nerves. A few minutes of cajoling later and with eight dollars plus change in-hand Styx turns back to the hallway, calling out with a half-hearted "Thank youu." The grumbling of his parents blur into background noise. It really was good to be a pirate. Styx thinks as much to himself for a moment while scouring his sheets for the remaining change he needed. He ponders how the world was full of suckers and idiots who spent their lives in toil, working at McDonalds like little slaves. Paying bills. Paying child support. What a bunch of idiots! The 38 year old smiles as before, with less effort now, his gangly fist clenched around the pocket change he had begged for. Now with his means secured there was only one step left to fulfill. His mind raced as he paced before the doorway at the end of the hall.

He had to awaken The Beast.

He knows it's risky, dangerous even...But what was a pirate without his rum? Styx's magick-senses tingle. A powerful entity lay beyond the barrier between worlds and only a master vampirate warlock of the highest calibre can control it! Styx takes a moment to inhale and gather his mana before his spindly fingers reach out and grasp the handle while his other hand delves into a nearby treat bucket, returning with a palm's worth of dried crickets. He uses all of his available arm strength to pry open the pinewood seal that held The Beast at bay. The stink of rotten fish billowing up from the sides of the doorway marks his success as he pulls it wide, and without giving himself another chance to think twice, he delves into the abyss beyond, vanishing from view.

To be continued
 
I remember one clip where ppp said that their views dropped every time they covered Styx, but I can't remember which show or at what timestamp. Does anyone else remember that, or am I alone on this one?
I remember that too but Lord knows I'm not going to dig for it. Just imagine being less interesting than Jeremy after all the theatrics. It's almost as pathetic as fucking a retard.
 
I remember one clip where ppp said that their views dropped every time they covered Styx, but I can't remember which show or at what timestamp. Does anyone else remember that, or am I alone on this one?
I think I recall them saying something like that when they were laughing at Nikki for requesting $5k for an interview.
 
I remember one clip where ppp said that their views dropped every time they covered Styx, but I can't remember which show or at what timestamp.
I know I certainly won't sit through 8 hours of their bullshit no matter what it is. If they start putting up their clips again, maybe they can get some passive income from that. I have absolutely no interest in their livestream.
 
I know I certainly won't sit through 8 hours of their bullshit no matter what it is. If they start putting up their clips again, maybe they can get some passive income from that. I have absolutely no interest in their livestream.
Even their clips are usually well over an hour. I gave them a chance but I'm not investing that much time.
 
I think I recall them saying something like that when they were laughing at Nikki for requesting $5k for an interview.
You're right, that's it. That's the exact clip.

I've tried watching Kino Casino a few times, but I just can't finish any of the episodes. It's just too frustrating the way they pause the video every half a second. Just show us a short clip and go back and microanalyze everything please. I swear they go over some of this stuff one word at a time.

Plus my wife loathes them, so I can either put in headphones or turn it off on Friday nights, and I don't like them enough to put on headphones.
 
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