I think I might actually have a real chance to help this area I'm stuck in, like do some real good work to help it not go to total shit functionally, and I think all it takes is understanding and bridging people together with my tech knowledge, ironically enough. The only issue is that I actually really fucking hate being stuck here, and I hate working in tech, I just like it as a hobby. That and, I've always been burned for "doing more than what I'm paid for" by reality, and this help I plan on doing is probably gonna end up needing me to do just that. The higher ups seem friendly, just thrown into a shitty position (someone higher up with all the knowledge just up and retired, leaving a know-nothing person in charge and said person having the assistant just take charge of everything when it should be delegated to more people... so now, more people are vying for that higher-up position and no-one knows if it's just gonna get shittier), but I've also been burned and exploited quite a bit by people who were just seemingly friendly and who I thought I could be loyal to. I'd think I would have learned better by now, but the fact that I'm still even considering helping people like this, shows me that I haven't, for better or worse.
At the same time though, I'm gonna be stuck here for at least a few more years, so my mindset is "you know, I might as well try to help the area I'm in be less shitty while I'm here. That and, the whole world is falling to shit, so there's a real chance I might not even get to move somewhere new and might as well keep what I have here since chances are it's shittier out there if you're a stranger".
I just wanna be able to fuck off to somewhere colder, and that's what I've been planning to do, even going full fastman if I've gotta or die trying. The only issue is, right now, I believe this spot I'm stuck in right now is the only way for me to network which really seems to be the only way to get a job that pays enough for the bills nowadays. So I guess my plan is to stick around, fix shit that needs fixing that only I know how to fix, and hopefully gain enough trust to get in a field that'll allow me to have enough funds to move somewhere else.
Though there's this nagging in the back of my head that keeps telling me to just not even bother with them since "this isn't how you're gonna be able to GTFO out of here dude".
Sorry if any of this is vague or autistic, trying to figure out how to word this rant without giving TMI here. Hope you all are doing/gonna get fine,