Ralph's Fortieth Birthday Thread - Where did the time go?

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GaryGray said:
Ralph is the first time I have ever witnessed an /x/ phenomena happen in real time courtesy of the medallion.
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Funny you mention /x/...
the ragepig of portugal.webp
 
Amazing he lived this long all the while packing his signature gunt.

Here's hoping you get into more crazy adventures, you ex-con. Thanks to your antics, you helped push the boat out of getting Vtubers popular.


You going ballistic on Portugal actually saved her life. Thanks for that.
 
Bonzi Baptist said:
but my point stands: these guys used to rule the world; now the world has forgotten them.
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I think you are vastly overestimating any relevancy or importance these schmucks ever had. At best you could say they had an audience and could make a decent living grifting said audience it for a few years. Rekieta had the most success but even that was small potatoes compared to his mom’s trust fund.
AncientPhosphur said:
View attachment 7941597

Happy Birthday to da pussy slaya of da sektur bish!
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The hammer wall birthday was x100 better for Ethan than today. At least his mom cared enough to get him a birthday cake, he has to buy his own cake now.

Anyone recall how incredibly depressing Rozy’s 1st birthday in Mexico was? Ralph earned his lonely 40th birthday.

Most likely scenario he has enough money to buy a hooker or uber to the beach to take selfies for the big 4-0. Maybe he has big plans to go sit with his phone at a restaurant and celebrate with 3 discord paypigs. Best case scenario he gets drunk, takes acid and loses his phone again.
 
coge said:
heres to another 40 years!
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Imagine Ralph still somehow alive, looking older and more hagard than anyone else alive or dead at 80, still on Xanax or some weird future drug, still in Mexico or perhaps some other 3rd world country, and this time with a robot wife he can beat as much as he wants. What a horrifying future, but at least he'd get to cum on Jim's grave
 
Happy Birthday Ralph!

For old times sake here are some fun things you can do on your birthday!

Advice for a 40-year-old getting their first job

  1. Mindset – Don’t be ashamed. Employers care about what you can do now. First job doesn’t have to be perfect, just a foot in the door. Stay teachable.
  2. Identify strengths – List any life experience: caring for family (reliable, patient), volunteering (teamwork, communication), hobbies (computers, cooking, fixing things). Think about what work environments suit you.
  3. Quick credentials – Short certs help: food handler’s license, forklift/OSHA, security guard license, basic IT certs. Check community colleges or workforce centers for cheap/free programs.
  4. Resume basics – Focus on “Skills, Training, Life Experience” instead of jobs. Include volunteer work or personal projects. Keep it one page, simple.
  5. Job search – Look for entry-level roles: retail, grocery, warehouses, janitorial, security, delivery. Apply online but also in person; handing a resume over shows initiative.
  6. Interview prep – Be honest but positive. Say: “I’m ready for my first job. I’ve spent time doing [X responsibilities] and now I’m ready to commit.” Practice common questions. Stress reliability, punctuality, willingness to learn.
  7. Think long term – First job builds history and references. After 6–12 months, better jobs are much easier to get.
  8. Lie - Just lie about the seven previous things.
BONUS: You can drink after work all you want.

Tips: Check your local Workforce Development Center — they specialize in helping people with little/no experience, often with free training. Check with staffing agencies to build up experience with temp work, they may decide to hire you if you don't flip out and cry your first day!
 
I'm surprised he is only 40. Chris Chan is older than him and despite all his bad life choices and shitty lifestyle, still looks younger
 
Genuinely did not expect him to live to hit 40. Kinda sad we lost Cobes but still have this guy.
 
mindlessobserver said:
He is well preserved in various chemicals, and sustained by spite. Man will live another 40!
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Ralph will never die because no hell can supersede the horror of his own life
This man will be streaming from a shack until the sun collapses
 
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