🗑️ Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

[Conan Spedogawa]

Does a wired jaw prevent one from taking pills?

I guess it might not matter if theres a tooth-window.

Its being drip fed.

 

[MeltyTW]

Surprised he hasn't been robbed before.

He actually has been mugged before he's just a retard who blames the world for veing random and unfair to him instead of realizing he causes most if not all his own shifty life.

 

[AnOminous]

More like 5 star restaurants

Those would cost him more than his hospital bill. He'll probably just chuck some Burger King into a blender and suck it down like a shake with his jaw wired shut.

Certainly not a marathon, because Ralph loses oxygen after waddling 20 metres.

The Ralphamale don't walk in no faggot yuropoor "metres" and shit, he walks in FEET. And into feet. Feet into his eye socket.

 

[Xenomorph]

I sincerely want it to be him looking to get some tranny hooker action and the deal went bad.

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

Does a wired jaw prevent one from taking pills?

I guess it might not matter if theres a tooth-window.

Depends on how they did the procedure, if it was banded/wired/etc I had my jaw wired and I couldn't fit shit between my teeth and had to crush up my vitamins and antibiotics and mix it with my protein shakes. If it was only banded he could easily fit a pill, I don't think he did get wired though, while his face is pretty swollen looking it's probably just because he's also obese. I mean it's anecdotal but mine was really bruised, granted it was a motorcycle accident and not being beat by nice Portuguese gentlemen.

 

[Annealing Crater]

Surprised he hasn't been robbed before.

IIRC he was mugged by a couple of niggers who stole his phone at the gas station near his house a year or three back.

 

[Pres. Benjamin Franklin]

it's not truuuue

 

[Sektor 37]

As someone who has lived in much poorer countries than Portugal continuously since I turned 21, I have never been mugged. I wonder what Ralph is doing differently

He's passing the Interview stage in the Five Stages of Violent Crime. It's where the criminal (consciously or unconsciously) assesses your behaviors and the situation to determine your potential as a victim. You don't want to pass the interview and move on to stage 3...

 

[Heckler1]

He's passing the Interview stage in the Five Stages of Violent Crime. It's where the criminal (consciously or unconsciously) assesses your behaviors and the situation to determine your potential as a victim. You don't want to pass the interview and move on to stage 3...

Its probably the only kind of interview Ralph can manage to pass if we're being totally honest. It's also the most entertaining interview he's ever been a part of.

 

[Truly Rural]

People worrying he might not be able to swallow

Where there is a will, there is a way.

 

[Pres. Benjamin Franklin]

oh show me the way to the next little girl

Spoiler: slightly NSFW

 

[Particle Bored]

I would think Portugese fagots have way better taste than to make a move on Ralph.

I picture more like him stumbling away from the bar as fagnight picks up and mumbling (or yelling) something about filthy faggots getting the fuck out of his way.

Something occurred to me in seeing Gunt's bloody eye:View attachment 2930311

There was a Wrestler who badly hurt their eye socket in May (Neigh?) last year, this was their eye last week:
View attachment 2930317

This could be his look for a while

I had a similar blood-eye injury once and the red lasted like a couple weeks if I recall. A "mileage may vary" thing I guess.

Depends on how they did the procedure, if it was banded/wired/etc I had my jaw wired and I couldn't fit shit between my teeth and had to crush up my vitamins and antibiotics and mix it with my protein shakes. If it was only banded he could easily fit a pill, I don't think he did get wired though, while his face is pretty swollen looking it's probably just because he's also obese. I mean it's anecdotal but mine was really bruised, granted it was a motorcycle accident and not being beat by nice Portuguese gentlemen.

Yeah unfortunately for our analysis, is think surgery bruising is another one of those "mileage may vary"s. Rioley Ravioli had endoscopic chin surgery and half his face was purple for a week. I know someone that had laproscopic spinal surgery through the front of their neck and they had like a nickel-sized bruise for a day or two.

 

[AnOminous]

He's passing the Interview stage in the Five Stages of Violent Crime. It's where the criminal (consciously or unconsciously) assesses your behaviors and the situation to determine your potential as a victim. You don't want to pass the interview and move on to stage 3...

The Ralphamale doesn't understand that when he went into this phase, the perp had already decided he was a weak pussy and if he resisted at that point, an ass kicking was what came next. Did he try to buy drugs? Did he insult someone's child with vile solicitation attempts?

Whatever he did, what appears on his face is a physical history of the vengeance of someone who obviously, for whatever reason, permanently hated this guy after whatever he did.

Anyone who can find out what actually happened is a hero.

 

[ImagineBeingFaggotDonator]

Ethan Ralph seeing that Armani bag on ebay

 

[A Cardboard Box]

more like drinking liquid out of a straw for the next month

Five star soups all I fuck with.

 

[The Big Dream]

I don't think it's really hit how much these last weeks have been a turning point for Ralph and the Killstream. He's been on life support the last few years with his cohosts/sektor sheepishly giving him support, and his life being surprisingly undisturbed, even with his legal cases.

When he finally lugs his fat ass back to America, he's going to have no friends, a soon-to-be-born baby (if it's real), and no doubt a few less paypigs. The Vickers will be putting their boot in him. His fucked up face will further sink his reputation. He may have a new addiction (and the old ones won't have gone away). It's going to be ridiculously messy. I don't say it lightly that I think he will kill himself, not from depression, but from the sheer futility of it all once he's lost his single source of money. And it will have all been his fault.

 

[KaiserBlade]

Five star soups all I fuck with.

We all know five stars is all Gunt saw after that ass-whooping he got.

 

[Lando Griffin]

He fell (Into the wrong fist). Nothing to worry about so stop speculating!

 

[SaidNoOneEver]

So I just clicked a random Hobo Shoestring video for some background noise and he tells the story about the worst thing that's ever happened to him: DT's

Sad shit. I can only imagine watching Hobo Gunt videos in 10 years telling the Portugal DT's story while sitting in the woods waiting for a train to come by that he can hop on. Of course Hobo Gunt's tale won't be so sad.

 

[Pres. Benjamin Franklin]

don't tuch my purse