Whit Supermicky: The Drunken Hillbilly RPG

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Buster guffaws. "Haw, haw, now dat's what I call fun, fellers!"

He looks at AD - "hey, I done edjumacate mysself, I'm an 8th grade gradjeeit and I read magazines all da time. Ya'll don't look like ya's know if ya'll's a boy or girl."

He looks at the Che shirt and commie symbols - "hey, is you one of dem commaniss? My ole man fought da commaniss in Vietnam, I'll learn ya a thing or two iffin ya like dem commaniss."

hot dang, I'm gonna wrassle an make da fat queer squeal like a piggy!
 
Jamie looks disgusted at Cletus.
"Hey Shitlord, I'm a genderfluid dandyfemme pantherkin, not a womyn! Get the terminology right!"
 
AD responds to Buster.
"Hey, for the last time you oppressive patriarchal rapebeast! I am a STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMYN! And yes, I am an anarcho-communist queer! A queerumist, if you will!"
 
Grainz shifts around, casting wolf-like glances from his squad to the Con Faggots and back from behind his tactical shades.

Ugh, like what the fuck is like all this talking okay, these faggots like don't even like know what like civilized talking is dude. Like hurry up and piss them off so we can like be like a squad and shit, alright, talking to faggots is like so unrealistic...
 
Cletus's tiny, neanderal brain wrenches in confusion at the SJW rebuke
But.... I didnt cal yall women.... babies can be both women and men and nigger
"damn these sumbahs be dumb as fuckin a chainsauw.....but im still gon enjoy mah time with them"
 
Jamie gets really pissed.
"That is sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, otherkinphobic, nonbinaryphobic, and genderqueerphobic! And that is like, so not kawaii!"
 
The bald boy was watching the scene with a curious expression.
I can't believe it, SJWs and Weebs right on our area. This sure was Cletus' lucky day.
"Look, man-woman-thing, we don't care about your tumblr bullshit."

He was hiding his Swastika tattoo under a jacket and trying to act defenseless, his intention was to sound like the weakest man of the bunch.
"Now what you faggots are doing here, also why are you wielding toys as weapons?"
 
The Asian guy in grey face paint and devil horns speaks up.
"Well, we were on our way to Dashcon when our car broke down. And FYI, this is a real authentic replica katana, and is a thousand times better than any surrogate penis you have! And this isn't tumblr bullshit, this is real life social justice stuff!"
 
"Still tumblr bullshit, fuckin weeb. Well I do believe we can arrange something to you people to reach your Faggotcon."
He walks away from them and get closer to Buster, then whispers:
"They're not a threat at all, let's leave them to fat fuck? Also, where's Bob?"
 
Jamie's eye twitches.
"Weeb? WEEEEB? HOW DARE YOU YOU.... CYBERBULLY! ANIME IS A LEGITAMENT ART FORM! YOU SHITLORDS ARE JUST TOO STUPID TO UNDERSTAND IT! THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN IN JAPAN BECAUSE JAPAN IS AWSOME! IT'S NOT LIKE FUCKING AMERIKKKA AT ALLLLLLL! LETS TEACH THESE OPPRESSORS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY TRIGGER US!"
 
He stops whispering to Buster and talks without turning to Jamie.
"Listen kiddo, I do watch a few Japanese cartoons. You're just overreacting."
 
With a single tactical move Tommy Grainz parkours out of the truck and lands in a crouched position. The Muhreen has seen this sort of situation play out in Kadharistan, and he knows what's coming next. Keeping his airsoft CAR-15 trained on the angry Con Faggots he calls back to his squad.
"Dude these faggots are about to like get like agrgressive and shit, get out of the fucking truck!"

The Muhreen warlord rapper sniper Army Ranger Muhreen past present future peacekeeper fighter master wolf-admirer warlord warlord goes into tactical overwatch, ready to interrupt the first Con Faggot that makes a move for his squad.
 
What's your character's name, Marella?

Buster turns to Marella's character "Bob done tied himself up to the front of da car, brah. Mabbe he done fell asleep or sumtin, haw haw."

He glares at the Dashcon goers - "Shitlord? ya'll better watch ya P's and Q's or ole Cletus here is gonna be LORD of yer SHIT, if ya know what I mean."

Buster gets out of the Race War Response Vehicle.
 
Not telling in-game yet, but his name is Jamal.

Fuck, well... things are going to get violent.
I want that SJW weirdo body for a few tests on future, though.
Maybe turning it into Cletus' walking fuck toy so fatso will stop being fuckin' annoying.
"If I was you, I would watch my words since nobody can hear me scream around these parts."
He said while was throwing his jacket at the ground, revealing his Desert Eagle and his Swastika tatoo.
 
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Buster draws his pistol from his waistband.

"Now, whatever you folks are, we was just goin' out for some beer and other essentials and didn't want no trouble with, whatever you folks are. Now watch it or Cletus here will do some nasty stuff to yer bodies and then we'll kill ya and dump yer bodies in the reservoir where no one will ever know what happened to ya. Folks 'round here have been kilt for less."

I don't wanna mess with these weirdos, but if we get drawn into it, so be it.
 
as he hears his cumrade promise to let him piggy these faggets, Cletus starsts visibly salivating....and he begins to unbutton his dungerees and lumber towards them
fuck em till they bleed..... fuck em till they scream....... fuck em till they bleed..... fuck em till they scream....... fuck em till they bleed..... fuck em till they scream....... fuck em till they bleed..... fuck em till they scream....... fuck em till they bleed..... fuck em till they scream....... fuck em till they bleed..... fuck em till they scream..............oh fuck the jenkem dun loosened mah bowels
As the last fumes of jenkem exit his lungs, Cletus's mangled and cavernous bowels cramp up, and he barely has time to loosen the bum-flap on his dungerees before unleashes a brown, boiling, stinking tsunami of lumpy, bloody feces upon the horrified SJW
Oh lawdy, now you gon dun made me shit mahself on yall......i was hopin to save that thar formality to when i have yoo in the cletus shack
 
"Dude what the BLUAAAAAAARGHGHTHGKGH"

The Muhreen tactically vomits but manages to hold his tactical overwatch.
 
Jamal was disgusted by the scent of Cletus' feces and Grainz's vomit.
Fuck, what is this smell?
"Eh, Buster, I think we shall get back to our booze and stuff."
He said while was walking back to the cab.
 
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