Weird and Cringe things you've seen while working in IT - Since everyone is too lazy to make such a thread where IT bros can vent

[Betonhaus]

At work I've managed to wrangle admin access to switches, but I still don't have superadmin access to the router and it's once again proving a total pain in the ass as the MSP has no fucking clue how VLANs work. The guy is always trying to setup new VLANs on new physical ports. The Fortigate router literally has so many worthless copper 1 Gbit cables hanging out of it, meanwhile it has this big beautiful 10 Gig LAG which is going to waste as he for some reason tagged it as an access port instead of a trunk on the switch.

Anyway I've given him a baby's first explanation of VLANs and twisted his arm by giving extremely explicit instructions on what to do, so I await next week where he'll inevitably fuck things up royally and make my life hell. $150/hr for this expertise btw.

Don't even get me started on the fucking mess this tard made of Veeam

What you should do is draw him a diagram where the 1Gbit lines are a thin pencil line while the 10 Gig line is a big ol' fat sharpie line

 

[Betonhaus]

 

[ZMOT]

I'm guessing OEMs wanted MS to decrease boot times, because competition starting to use SSDs, but those were much more expensive per GB than HDDs and they wouldn't be able to use drive size in marketing.

wasn't OEMs (in a corp setting it's either 24/7 on anyway for maintenance at night, if not managed via WoL, or if it takes longer to boot it means less work), it was tech reviewers. back in the old days, long before SSDs were a thing, "boot to desktop" was a legit metric.
which also led to other microsoft cancer like showing the desktop ASAP but still have all kinds of shit loading in the background with 100% harddrive usage, just so they fudge some numbers and look better. your computer was as usable as watching loading screens, but hey you could already move your mouse!

this only got worse with SSDs where microsoft didn't even have to optimize anymore, to the point starting a modern windows on a rust spinner is an excruciating experience.

Well, you are. No idea why people would use water on electronics. Perhaps to avoid any possible fire hazards or because of the smell? But even with distilled water you have a corrosion hazard.

because it's easier, cheaper and cleaned up properly (rinse in distilled water and/or IPA before blowing the air from tight spaces where water can stick) corrosion is a non-issue.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole 2]

IPA

Won't that make it sticky and smell like hipsters?

 

[Two Dollars]

>I’d like to download a free update for my IDE we’ve already licensed since it’s on an old version, but I need to submit a ticket for any software installs since an admin has to type their password
>saar you must provide a business reason or it will be deny

I miss working with native English speakers

It took TWO MONTHS but they finally did the needful and updated my fucking IDE.

Actually, let me rephrase that: the guy finally reached out to me about my ticket, got confused that my IDE wasn’t already magically updated while my back was turned, then redirected me to a white guy who was able to update it in a few minutes.

 

[the rat]

I'm guessing OEMs wanted MS to decrease boot times, because competition starting to use SSDs, but those were much more expensive per GB than HDDs and they wouldn't be able to use drive size in marketing.

The hibernate as default change was around Vista for this exact reason and was even pushed further by "fast startup" in Windows 8 which is just a shutdown/hibernation hybrid like feature.

If it is that it's doing actual hibernation instead of shutting down for the shutdown feature then that's gay, if it's doing the fast startup thing then that's existed since Windows 8 and was for faster boot times on shitty bloated OEM installs on shit HDDs, disabled it.

Also you should be able to change power button behaviour and equally kill the hibernation feature completely.

 

[seri0us]

Your proprietary "for non-commercial use" freemium software is definitely being used for commercial use

 

[Betonhaus]

Your proprietary "for non-commercial use" freemium software is definitely being used for commercial use

Oh it definitely is. But if a bug causes a $100,000,000 loss for the company the software developer is not liable because they explicitly don't support commercial users.

 

[Kheapathic]

I've been out of a job for 9 months now. Bit the bullet and saw my old position at the casino and jokingly submitted my resume. My old boss actually called and said to call him back so we can talk. He's willing to take me back, but it's at entry level pay and I turned it down because I can't relocate for that. He told me I can contact him again if things change, and I'm feeling so desperate, I'm seriously considering it.

That aside, I'm also currently being blocked by some HR hoe who wants me to run my resume through ChatGPT and clean it up before she sends it to someone who matters. She's already been difficult to talk to or get her to reply in a timely manner; but I told her I use the USAJobs(dot)gov template and to please push it through. Don't think she will. I fucking loathe gatekeepers.

 

[Celebrate Nite]

I'm also currently being blocked by some HR hoe who wants me to run my resume through ChatGPT and clean it up before she sends it to someone who matters.

I'd block the number if I were you. Sounds like she's wasting your time and considers you more a number than a person.

I told her I use the USAJobs(dot)gov template

I hope for your sake that you kept a backup of the non dotgov resume, because I did that many years ago and it wound up turning off a lot of people I sent it to. Essentially the dumbass poojeet that tried to convince me this was a good idea said that companies usually skip over all the detailed shit anyways so as long as you have the basic stuff front and center that's all that matters.

TURNS OUT... companies actually like detailed resumes (to the shock of nobody). Thankfully I had a backup of my O.G. resume which impressed them a lot more. Fuck dotgov employment companies, it's basically the blind leading the blind.

 

[Betonhaus]

That aside, I'm also currently being blocked by some HR hoe who wants me to run my resume through ChatGPT and clean it up before she sends it to someone who matters. She's already been difficult to talk to or get her to reply in a timely manner; but I told her I use the USAJobs(dot)gov template and to please push it through. Don't think she will. I fucking loathe gatekeepers.

If you were a minority she would probably bend over backwards to fix up your resume for you to send off to the hiring team

 

[Kheapathic]

TURNS OUT... companies actually like detailed resumes (to the shock of nobody). Thankfully I had a backup of my O.G. resume which impressed them a lot more. Fuck dotgov employment companies, it's basically the blind leading the blind.

It's the blind leading the blind, but sadly, those are the only good/available jobs out in my area and I can't move yet. My problem is I have an idea on the difference between a good and a bad resume when it comes to structure and such; but what I hate, is that I'm fucking playing "Guess this person's mental derangement" on what appeals to them. I crammed my past ~10 years of experience, skills, tech I've used, certs, and other shit I hold onto two pages, using 12-pt Times New Roman in an organized manner. I don't want to play fuck-fuck games where the problem is "Well they'd like it presented in another way." If I am to believe that we're all competent and educated people (and I don't, but I'm forced to pretend we are) than I should be able to trust or expect whoever the fuck is looking at my retard list to be able to understand or not be turned off that its presentation doesn't match whatever your brain prefers (and no, I'm not doing the My Little Pony resume, it's normal and boring looking). I'll dance like a nigger for you, only because you're such a piece of shit you're blocking my path.

 

[seri0us]

Post in thread 'How the fuck do I write a resume?'

Dec 2, 2025

There was some good resume talk way back in the early Connor Bible thread (classic Halalcow), he was and still is a giant autist with no life skills and experience and was too lazy to write a resume, so many people tried to help him. If you have anything at all to put on a resume, you're already better off then he was.

Personally I like to pad things out by describing my job as a little more important and involved than it actually was, if you need to dredge old club involvement up that can help also. My first resume cited 9 years of Girl Scouting and high school Environmental Club...

• MerriedxReldnahc

Reactions: x 1 x 1

I use this format for my resumes
I guess it worked because this year I got a new job with it

 

[The Last Stand]

"*Sigh*.... You know what, yeah let that reset and wait 15 minutes and if that doesn't work just call us back."

I love positioning out of calls like that if possible.

"It's not working should I unplug it and plug it in again?"
"No it's turned off because you haven't paid your bill in 4 months."

I had similar calls like this. Customer is calling to activate their phone with a new carrier, they cannot because the phone is locked to their previous carrier. Contact them if you can, sometimes the carrier will bring them back to US.

"Your shit isn't working because you haven't paid your bill for months" is on my greatest hits of calls I receive. I usually get at least 2 a day.

Don't remind me. I get around 5-10 calls daily from customers looking to dispute charges from subscriptions they willingly subscribed to or charges their children made. One call I had with this mad Black woman wanting to get refunded (or forgiven) for a YEAR'S worth of charges from some dating app. She wouldn't take no for an answer; it went as well as expected. She decided to let the charges go delinquent and make another account.

 

[McKennai]

Post in thread 'How the fuck do I write a resume?'

Dec 2, 2025

There was some good resume talk way back in the early Connor Bible thread (classic Halalcow), he was and still is a giant autist with no life skills and experience and was too lazy to write a resume, so many people tried to help him. If you have anything at all to put on a resume, you're already better off then he was.

Personally I like to pad things out by describing my job as a little more important and involved than it actually was, if you need to dredge old club involvement up that can help also. My first resume cited 9 years of Girl Scouting and high school Environmental Club...

• MerriedxReldnahc

Reactions: x 1 x 1

View attachment 8770065

I use this format for my resumes
I guess it worked because this year I got a new job with it

Looks like one you can generate through this tool

 

[Samuel Fuller]

I just remembered an amusing story from my last job.

A user from a client that didn’t have self-serve password management due to a hybrid domain setup needed a password reset to fix a desync issue.

He was a Buffalo Bills fan whose password was BillsMafia99 originally.

I made his new password a reference to Scott Norwood.

He laughed his ass off and told me he would keep it.

 

[Kheapathic]

I'm not sure if there's enough content, because it'd mostly have to be user curated; but I feel CompTIA deserves a thread for being such shitty gatekeepers.

Don't study to learn or refine, study for their test, because they're fucking retarded.

 

[Organized Derailment]

I work with an Indian guy who decommisioned a DHCP server without telling anyone, and then didn't say anything during our weekly meeting when the helpdesk reported ongoing issues with new devices not picking up an IP.. this same jeet fucked up a fortigate policy that essentially allowed unrestricted access to our RD network during patching weekend.

But by all means, please bring more of them into my country (Canada)

 

[Celebrate Nite]

but I feel CompTIA deserves a thread for being such shitty gatekeepers.

They really are the worst. Some of the questions they ask, even for a basic A+ cert, are for things that either don't even matter (how fast the disc spins in a hard drive) or shit that nobody in an entry-level position would even have to do (how would you change the head of an ethernet cable). You can be alone in your room doing the test remotely on your computer and heaven forbid you mouth the question even so slightly the poojeet gets fucking pissed at you and threatens to end the test abruptly.

Once companies started asking for these things like they were mandatory, I knew something was up because this seemed like some grift that they were all involved in.

 

[HahaYes]

A+ cert

Yeah tbh A+ is one of the most blatant grift certs around, it's utterly useless and HR universally are to blame for it even getting traction so it can be another pointless tickbox on a CV