Weird and Cringe things you've seen while working in IT - Since everyone is too lazy to make such a thread where IT bros can vent

[SouthernBitchBob]

Welcome back to work, it's 2026!

"Please look at this failed code, check and revert saaar"
Stacktrace, which isn't even one of those 200 line ones that blurs together, it's about 10 lines long:
"HttpError 403 when requesting (Cloud API endpoint). Returned 'the caller does not have permission'"

Indians are stupider than ChatGPT. You need engineering attention to...what, read the error message that plainly states you don't have permission? I know, I know, Indians fling poo at real engineers as part of their procrastination and blame-offloading strategy, but still.

 

[Disdainer of the Plebs]

I’m currently stuck on a call where my boss is trying to batter a jeet into submission because he’s trying to protect his izzat on a production incident call. It’s funny, the offending code is right there and he’s sperging to filibuster for the last 90 minutes. It would be funny if it weren’t so obnoxious.

Watching this guy lose his izzat to a white guy is pretty satisfying though.

 

[Betonhaus]

I’m currently stuck on a call where my boss is trying to batter a jeet into submission because he’s trying to protect his izzat on a production incident call. It’s funny, the offending code is right there and he’s sperging to filibuster for the last 90 minutes. It would be funny if it weren’t so obnoxious.

Watching this guy lose his izzat to a white guy is pretty satisfying though.

has your boss said anything along the lines of "people who lie about their mistakes are more subhuman then the people who acknowledge and fix their mistakes"?

 

[Disdainer of the Plebs]

has your boss said anything along the lines of "people who lie about their mistakes are more subhuman then the people who acknowledge and fix their mistakes"?

No, you get sacked for that. He’s a pretty smooth operator, until recently he was the only White director in the org. It wasn’t open lying, it was wasting everyone’s time via sperging in the hope the other guy gives up. You win by being willing to waste other people’s time more than the other guy. It’s not a complicated solution, it’s just anathema to white technical types.

This company is fucked up. Well, every corporate company is fucked up. The trick is knowing when to bail out a move on.

 

[Betonhaus]

No, you get sacked for that. He’s a pretty smooth operator, until recently he was the only White director in the org. It wasn’t open lying, it was wasting everyone’s time via sperging in the hope the other guy gives up. You win by being willing to waste other people’s time more than the other guy. It’s not a complicated solution, it’s just anathema to white technical types.

This company is fucked up. Well, every corporate company is fucked up. The trick is knowing when to bail out a move on.

Until recently? Most companies only go one way then die so if there are more white people on charge now that's promising for a recovery.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Real sick of a certain colleague asking Gemini questions then pasting the results in mass emails. Worst part is he’s such a good guy that I feel like an absolute cunt for getting irritated and rolling my eyes at him. All I have to do is delete the email. But I’m dreading what these AI dabblers are going to unleash on us this year.

 

[Mad as a Swan]

Real sick of a certain colleague asking Gemini questions then pasting the results in mass emails. Worst part is he’s such a good guy that I feel like an absolute cunt for getting irritated and rolling my eyes at him. All I have to do is delete the email. But I’m dreading what these AI dabblers are going to unleash on us this year.

Managers asking ai and passing on the solution is the dread of IT.

They think asking Ai a question and passing solution is like 2/3rds of the work...

"Why isn't the issue fixed? I gave you an unrealistic deadline! Why don't you use the Ai solution I gave you " is the bane of my existence.

 

[Two Dollars]

>I’d like to download a free update for my IDE we’ve already licensed since it’s on an old version, but I need to submit a ticket for any software installs since an admin has to type their password
>saar you must provide a business reason or it will be deny

I miss working with native English speakers

 

[Betonhaus]

>I’d like to download a free update for my IDE we’ve already licensed since it’s on an old version, but I need to submit a ticket for any software installs since an admin has to type their password
>saar you must provide a business reason or it will be deny

I miss working with native English speakers

Tell them to do the needful

 

[teriyakiburns]

Our current "product owner" is retarded, I swear. He keeps coming up with half-baked, hacked-up "solutions" to minor problems rather than taking the time to plan things out, or just reading the documentation and realising that we already have a way to do this.

Latest wheeze is testing a new feature that requires data. There's multiple test subscriptions on the testing server, but the one he's using doesn't have the data necessary. Solutions that he could have used:
1) pick another subscription
2) enter some test data manually
3) let me finally generate test data

Solution he immediately came up with after poking himself in the eye and wondering why it hurt: TAKE LIVE PROPRIETARY DATA FROM A CLIENT AND MANGLE IT INTO THE TEST ENVIRONMENT IN A WAY THAT LEAVES US OPEN TO LEGAL ACTION

FTR not indian, just stupid. And he lives down south, so I can't throttle him.

 

[Chris Redfield]

Sort of IT related and I think you guys will get why...been having some issues with a bill at home being charged wrong so kept trying their online live chat for help. Issue is super simple, things wrong on their side but can't change mine so all they need to do is take the data/evidence from me and input it in their system. Three chats and an email so far. All Indian names. 'Hello, kindly allow me to do the needful..' proceed not to help me, keep telling me things take a few days. I wait a few days, come back, another Indian, still no luck, same thing.

Skip forward to today, really sick of no resolution and the constant false reassurance. Get through to someone with an English name. 'Oh yeah, that's actually a really simple fix, sorry about my colleagues - they arent that experienced. Issue resolved.' Sends me a screenshot, bill is sorted. Bro did it in literally five minutes.

Every time.

 

[Celebrate Nite]

Sort of IT related and I think you guys will get why...been having some issues with a bill at home being charged wrong so kept trying their online live chat for help. Issue is super simple, things wrong on their side but can't change mine so all they need to do is take the data/evidence from me and input it in their system. Three chats and an email so far. All Indian names. 'Hello, kindly allow me to do the needful..' proceed not to help me, keep telling me things take a few days. I wait a few days, come back, another Indian, still no luck, same thing.

Skip forward to today, really sick of no resolution and the constant false reassurance. Get through to someone with an English name. 'Oh yeah, that's actually a really simple fix, sorry about my colleagues - they arent that experienced. Issue resolved.' Sends me a screenshot, bill is sorted. Bro did it in literally five minutes.

Every time.

I'm at the point where I just play Support Roulette where if I call any support and I get a foreign name with a foreign accent, I hang up the phone and try again until I get an english person.

Had to do this for Uber support last year. 3 phone calls later and it turns out they added something into their code within the app where you NEED Google's Play services for whatever asinine reason, so I had to update the app via the Play Store ( microG doesn't work on my phone because it's not a 100% rooted OS ). otherwise I've been lucky, the last few supports I've called for different companies they've always been english. Had to call verizon two weeks ago and it was a pleasant 5 minute call for a simple issue.

 

[Nitro!]

Witnessed a failure to answer the breakfast question reviewing code today trying to explain the zero case. See, if there aren't any results from the database, this part of the code won't run, and the response will be partial and corrupt. But... there are results...

Physically staggered at the response. Put a lot of really braindead code I've seen here into perspective. Barkeep, whiskey!

 

[YoRHa No. 2 Type B]

Sort of IT related and I think you guys will get why...been having some issues with a bill at home being charged wrong so kept trying their online live chat for help. Issue is super simple, things wrong on their side but can't change mine so all they need to do is take the data/evidence from me and input it in their system. Three chats and an email so far. All Indian names. 'Hello, kindly allow me to do the needful..' proceed not to help me, keep telling me things take a few days. I wait a few days, come back, another Indian, still no luck, same thing.

Skip forward to today, really sick of no resolution and the constant false reassurance. Get through to someone with an English name. 'Oh yeah, that's actually a really simple fix, sorry about my colleagues - they arent that experienced. Issue resolved.' Sends me a screenshot, bill is sorted. Bro did it in literally five minutes.

Every time.

Most competent Indian support "techs", I swear to god.
The only way I've gotten past them was continuous escalations until eventually getting someone with an English name that can sort out issues in 5 minutes.
Its honestly impressive how bad Jeets are with any kind of IT, they lied and scammed their way into every big tech company.
And people wonder why tech today is so bad, and want to go back to the "old days".
Doesn't take a genius to figure out why its so bad, but most people can't seem to get it.

 

[SouthernBitchBob]

Managers asking ai and passing on the solution is the dread of IT.

They think asking Ai a question and passing solution is like 2/3rds of the work...

"Why isn't the issue fixed? I gave you an unrealistic deadline! Why don't you use the Ai solution I gave you " is the bane of my existence.

It supports the hottest management strategy of the 2020s.

1. Assign your engineers to minimum three different projects at a time.
2. Context switch them and drag them into meetings whenever possible.
3. All projects assigned to you are maximum priority. They need to be done, tested, documented, reviewed, and in production by next week.
4. Each individual project "should be easy". Just do it!
5. Don't consult an engineer at any point during this process. The amount of time and effort it takes to do any part of your task ranges from "easy" to "should be easy with a little work". Just do it! Easy.
6. If your engineer raises any kind of fuss, that's a sign to pull them into more ad-hoc calls and ask pointless questions you can feed into AI for answers. Context switch MORE! That'll get them productive.

 

[Mad as a Swan]

It supports the hottest management strategy of the 2020s.

1. Assign your engineers to minimum three different projects at a time.
2. Context switch them and drag them into meetings whenever possible.
3. All projects assigned to you are maximum priority. They need to be done, tested, documented, reviewed, and in production by next week.
4. Each individual project "should be easy". Just do it!
5. Don't consult an engineer at any point during this process. The amount of time and effort it takes to do any part of your task ranges from "easy" to "should be easy with a little work". Just do it! Easy.
6. If your engineer raises any kind of fuss, that's a sign to pull them into more ad-hoc calls and ask pointless questions you can feed into AI for answers. Context switch MORE! That'll get them productive.

Also their three words solutions "just fix XYZ", "add XC VB", "replace AB CD" are NOT easy solutions.

I don't care that your bulletpoint list has 3 lines, "replace AB CD" needs a lot of refactor and changes.

Just because you can describe it in 3 words doesn't mean it takes 2 days.

>Don't consult an engineer at any point during this process

Managers (esp professional managers who haven't worked as a coder or engineer) think they can just assume the duration of a task.

 

[SouthernBitchBob]

Also their three words solutions "just fix XYZ", "add XC VB", "replace AB CD" are NOT easy solutions.

I don't care that your bulletpoint list has 3 lines, "replace AB CD" needs a lot of refactor and changes.

Just because you can describe it in 3 words doesn't mean it takes 2 days.

>Don't consult an engineer at any point during this process

Managers (esp professional managers who haven't worked as a coder or engineer) think they can just assume the duration of a task.

I learned long ago that "best practices", "automated testing", and "modular code" are utter mythology in large corporations. You can see those things in startups. Large corps will tell you to do those things, and then ten minutes later start screeching at you to get it done NOW NOW NOW. But make sure you write it in a way that's easy to document and well-architected! In fact management will act astonished in a later meeting when they "discover" the architecture review they implied you should skip to save time didn't take place. It needs to be done carefully AND fast. But most of all fast. Wait why does this code look like corners were cut?

 

[Mad as a Swan]

I've heard a story from a contractor guy that said the management would not consult the engineering when determining project scope and deadline. They would let the customer dictate that (ie we want X Y and Z by 3 months) and then panic when the deadlines weren't met and the products were delivered untested and unfinished.

 

[Betonhaus]

I've heard a story from a contractor guy that said the management would not consult the engineering when determining project scope and deadline. They would let the customer dictate that (ie we want X Y and Z by 3 months) and then panic when the deadlines weren't met and the products were delivered untested and unfinished.

What happens if the customers insist on very punitive late delivery discounts?

 

[teriyakiburns]

I've heard a story from a contractor guy that said the management would not consult the engineering when determining project scope and deadline. They would let the customer dictate that (ie we want X Y and Z by 3 months) and then panic when the deadlines weren't met and the products were delivered untested and unfinished.

Stop reading my e-mails.