Video Game Husbands - Lusting after pixelated men

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My toxic trait is that I do really like That Faggy Vampire From BG3, because my favorite male character archetype is "Neutral Evil Bitchy Queen That Kills People," but I suffer the constant psychic damage of seeing him with every Pink Tiefling Bard making his Ascended self into an uwu loving possessive alpha husbando instead of a soulless monster like he should be.

Gale Dekarios is the best BG3 husband by far; it's a frustrating slow burn but every line from the confession scene had me punching the wall from how he twisted my heart. Plus he can cook, has a job, a house, a cat, and a good but properly distanced relationship with his mother. So, you know, better than most fantasy love interests.

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When I was really into Skyrim I went as far as to download a Brynjolf marriage mod because I was so upset he wasn’t romancable in the vanilla game. It was a great mod from what I remember (been half a decade since I’ve played), it added on a whole new section to the ratway in Riften where you could live with him and included expanded dialogue etc.
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swingbatta said:
My toxic trait is that I do really like That Faggy Vampire From BG3, because my favorite male character archetype is "Neutral Evil Bitchy Queen That Kills People," but I suffer the constant psychic damage of seeing him with every Pink Tiefling Bard making his Ascended self into an uwu loving possessive alpha husbando instead of a soulless monster like he should be.

Gale Dekarios is the best BG3 husband by far; it's a frustrating slow burn but every line from the confession scene had me punching the wall from how he twisted my heart. Plus he can cook, has a job, a house, a cat, and a good but properly distanced relationship with his mother. So, you know, better than most fantasy love interests.

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Tell him sex was fine.
Gale is great.
 
swingbatta said:
My toxic trait is that I do really like That Faggy Vampire From BG3, because my favorite male character archetype is "Neutral Evil Bitchy Queen That Kills People," but I suffer the constant psychic damage of seeing him with every Pink Tiefling Bard making his Ascended self into an uwu loving possessive alpha husbando instead of a soulless monster like he should be.

Gale Dekarios is the best BG3 husband by far; it's a frustrating slow burn but every line from the confession scene had me punching the wall from how he twisted my heart. Plus he can cook, has a job, a house, a cat, and a good but properly distanced relationship with his mother. So, you know, better than most fantasy love interests.

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Slow burn on most of my playthroughs the first few long rests is all it takes for the entire camp to thirst after me. The least horny member of the is Karlach who only pursues you if you make the first steps at the end of the first chapter. I can understand Astarion's reasons for trying to seduce you, but the rest are just sweat goblins.

Also Gale is a wizard and I do not want the fake god Mystra's sloppy seconds. Somehow this mortal cloaked in godhood is more petty then Lolth who is practically the goddess of pettiness.

Dragon Age Origins did a better job when it came to the slow burn. You get to know the character and talk a lot before you even start flirting.

In short Alistair is a better Gale even though I still do not forgive him for breaking my Elven character's heart. Though I suppose her sacrificing herself to stop the blight and leaving Alistair as King in a political marriage is revenge enough.
 
Out of curiosity, in order to make the ULTIMATE video game husband, what traits are the pinnacle of a video game husband?
Is it one general thing? Are there multiple types of perfect husbands down to a matter of personal taste?
 
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I find this guy extremely handsome..hes from whos lila! his name is william clarke..please play the game its so awesome...gehehehee hes so cute
 
Orphaned Punk said:
Out of curiosity, in order to make the ULTIMATE video game husband, what traits are the pinnacle of a video game husband?
Is it one general thing? Are there multiple types of perfect husbands down to a matter of personal taste?
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I'd have to say that they have to be strong of character, but flawed like anyone. I would prefer that they have their own opinions, but can see your perspective and do not react negatively to something they do not like. Otome and games with romance constantly make the mistake of you having to placate to the specific character you want to romance.

I want a Husbando who challenges you and respect your actions and decisions, but is not afraid to speak his mind and tell you exactly how he thinks and feels. I want him to react or ignore you and kill or even work against you and have the relationship flounder or flourish out of conflict.

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Give me my devil, drow men now! (no not Drizzt)
 
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Orphaned Punk said:
Out of curiosity, in order to make the ULTIMATE video game husband, what traits are the pinnacle of a video game husband?
Is it one general thing? Are there multiple types of perfect husbands down to a matter of personal taste?
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Make him a robot, alien, or monster. Or all three. And make him the bad guy. But that's just personal preference.
 
Golden Face said:
ive been enjoying the porn of jimmy from mouthwashing. he's truly a manwhore who rapes and gets raped.
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He has a very rapeable design. I think it's because he looks like someone who wouldn't be able to retaliate against you legally or socially if you jumped him and beat him to an inch of his life. No one is coming to help this guy.
Arbiter said:
but my one true FNV husbando is Yes Man.
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Yes Man has the perfect personality for me but I can't fuck >300lbs of metal
Orphaned Punk said:
Out of curiosity, in order to make the ULTIMATE video game husband, what traits are the pinnacle of a video game husband?
Is it one general thing? Are there multiple types of perfect husbands down to a matter of personal taste?
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He has to have a good personality. There's thousands of attractive male characters so the make or break factor really is the personality and backstory.


Thread tax: As a teen I used to lust after Edward Kenway from Assassin's Creed 4. I remember thinking he's hot as fuck because he's a pirate and he gets to sail around doing whatever he wants. Also, I hate that people ship him with his nigger shipmate. It should be ME not him
 
BunchaBabyDucks said:
This is such an insane take when you like Raphael, the character who canonically gets his hole stretched by an incubus copy of himself.
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"Out of curiosity, in order to make the ULTIMATE video game husband, what traits are the pinnacle of a video game husband?"

A question was posed and I answered. The keyword here is video game husband aka not real. First and foremost the character has to be interesting and my answer would be a breath of fresh air in the stagnation that is the game industry.

As for the stretching I killed them both in my playthrough as Raphael got less interesting in the third chapter. Well that could be said about everything at the end as Larian dropped the ball and made the end game the worst part.

Also I have said that my enjoyment of Raphael is embarrassing so I am aware that it's insane, but we're both on Kiwifarms where the abnormal is what draws us in.
 
#1 Hot Sauce of Kiwi Farm said:
"Out of curiosity, in order to make the ULTIMATE video game husband, what traits are the pinnacle of a video game husband?"

A question was posed and I answered. The keyword here is video game husband aka not real. First and foremost the character has to be interesting and my answer would be a breath of fresh air in the stagnation that is the game industry.

As for the stretching I killed them both in my playthrough as Raphael got less interesting in the third chapter. Well that could be said about everything at the end as Larian dropped the ball and made the end game the worst part.

Also I have said that my enjoyment of Raphael is embarrassing so I am aware that it's insane, but we're both on Kiwifarms where the abnormal is what draws us in.
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So lets swing back to you calling someone’s husbando ‘Sloppy Seconds’ instead of whatever the fuck else you posted because you misunderstood my comment.
Are you so deeply autistic that you cannot comprehend why calling someone else’s husbando Sloppy Seconds is rude, especially while going to bat for the devilmanwhore?
 
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BunchaBabyDucks said:
So lets swing back to you calling someone’s husbando ‘Sloppy Seconds’ instead of whatever the fuck else you posted because you misunderstood my comment.
Are you so deeply autistic that you cannot comprehend why calling someone else’s husbando Sloppy Seconds is rude, especially while going to bat for the devilmanwhore?
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Is that why you're mad because I made an off the cuff remark about a fictional character? Say whatever you want about the devilmanwhore idc though I am not going to fill up the thread arguing about fictional characters.

@swingbatta I am sorry about the comment I do not know if it upset you and BunchaBabyDucks is a friend, but I did not mean to offend.

Other than that say what you want Ducks and move on.
 

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Ruined by the Rain said:
Yes Man has the perfect personality for me but I can't fuck >300lbs of metal
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Not with that attitude, you can't.

Kind of related, but he reminds me of Computress from Dexter's Lab. Visually, I mean. With a lot more going on, I guess.

Maybe he could fingerbang you? I'm not sure Sigma could - dude's a big guy... for me. God I feel gross saying that.

Also swingbatta's icon just reminded me the Batter's kind of appealing to me. Dude's on a mission though, and the only thing that I'd get is my ass beat.

I definitely have a type in fictional men.
 
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Played Deltarune.....and fuck me I actually really like Tenna. This stupid autistic game got me with one finally.

I want to dom him and make him cry and it's this retarded little TV
 
Catboi said:
Played Deltarune.....and fuck me I actually really like Tenna. This stupid autistic game got me with one finally.

I want to dom him and make him cry and it's this retarded little TV
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Do they need to update this? Who is the TSM-bait that Tenna upstaged?
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Arbiter said:
Do they need to update this? Who is the TSM-bait that Tenna upstaged?
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He's intentional ship bait with Spamton and their lore is heavily tied together so I'm just considering him an extension of Spamton.

Thank god I avoided that bullet of liking him. That would be too much for my ego.
 
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