UN Venezuela Megathread - Mercenaries 2 references galore! Cubanodun is MVP

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We are reaching of maximum cope, seethe but no dilation yet never seen in the history of Venezuela, accompany me in this long tale of lulz

Since the start of the year there has been unusual movements in the halls of powers, Maduro for some reason starting to actually do hardcore shifts in his cabinet, for a normal perspective that would not be surprising because he loves to do that to pretend there is something happening but the ones that were replaced were hardcore commies and in exchange some "moderates" aka not loyal to Chavez were put in place, the first red flag appeared when the president of PDVSA was swapped by also a moderate, the thing is the expresident was Asdrubal Chavez brother of the ex emperor of mankind and was replaced by this guy someone that actually has experience in the company and know how the shithole actually work


2023-01-23 23.15.12 elperiodicodelaenergia.com e47f7abc660a.png

The issue on this is that Asdrubal was not swapped but outright shitcanned, rumours started to spread about Maduro going to do a power move in the company but to actually managed to do it he needed to purge the old royal family of the Chavez, the rumours were finally confirmed when Maduro did a power move and outright gave control of a entire section of the complex to Chevron Texaco, thats right the Americans have put their foot in the "company of the people"

Meet Martin Phillipsen the new Overlord from Chevron Texaco

2023-01-23 23.19.35 www.google.com 5cc672871cd1.png

The hardcore commies are literally having convulsions now, after 2 decades of claiming the americans will never return and will never take PDVSA from the people ever again they just decided and gave it to them and worst yet they are calling shots in that place, the rest of the facilities are expected to be filled with Chevron texaco employees this years to the seething of the bommers that still trust in the revolution

Ex president of PDVSA and super simp of Chavez just outright called Maduro a whore and a traitor saying that Chevron just stole the shipment that was given to them, irony of this that asshole is hiding in Italy because he has a warrant

2023-01-23 23.22.59 www.diariorepublica.com 12a52d625430.png
 
We are reaching of maximum cope, seethe but no dilation yet never seen in the history of Venezuela, accompany me in this long tale of lulz

Since the start of the year there has been unusual movements in the halls of powers, Maduro for some reason starting to actually do hardcore shifts in his cabinet, for a normal perspective that would not be surprising because he loves to do that to pretend there is something happening but the ones that were replaced were hardcore commies and in exchange some "moderates" aka not loyal to Chavez were put in place, the first red flag appeared when the president of PDVSA was swapped by also a moderate, the thing is the expresident was Asdrubal Chavez brother of the ex emperor of mankind and was replaced by this guy someone that actually has experience in the company and know how the shithole actually work


View attachment 4324826

The issue on this is that Asdrubal was not swapped but outright shitcanned, rumours started to spread about Maduro going to do a power move in the company but to actually managed to do it he needed to purge the old royal family of the Chavez, the rumours were finally confirmed when Maduro did a power move and outright gave control of a entire section of the complex to Chevron Texaco, thats right the Americans have put their foot in the "company of the people"

Meet Martin Phillipsen the new Overlord from Chevron Texaco

View attachment 4324854

The hardcore commies are literally having convulsions now, after 2 decades of claiming the americans will never return and will never take PDVSA from the people ever again they just decided and gave it to them and worst yet they are calling shots in that place, the rest of the facilities are expected to be filled with Chevron texaco employees this years to the seething of the bommers that still trust in the revolution

Ex president of PDVSA and super simp of Chavez just outright called Maduro a whore and a traitor saying that Chevron just stole the shipment that was given to them, irony of this that asshole is hiding in Italy because he has a warrant

View attachment 4324880

So I've reading this right:
Thanks to Putin managing to swing a sledgehammer into his own dick in Ukraine, Venezuela is discovering there is a opportunity to be let out of time out in the corner and be able to import toilet paper again, and is taking it.
This includes turning operations over to Texaco so they can actually produce oil. And the Mad Lad is doing it.

More proof you cannot Churro the Maduro.
 
So I've reading this right:
Thanks to Putin managing to swing a sledgehammer into his own dick in Ukraine, Venezuela is discovering there is a opportunity to be let out of time out in the corner and be able to import toilet paper again, and is taking it.
This includes turning operations over to Texaco so they can actually produce oil. And the Mad Lad is doing it.

More proof you cannot Churro the Maduro.

Yankees felted once again; at this rate the final battle will be DSP vs Maduro.
 
So I've reading this right:
Thanks to Putin managing to swing a sledgehammer into his own dick in Ukraine, Venezuela is discovering there is a opportunity to be let out of time out in the corner and be able to import toilet paper again, and is taking it.
This includes turning operations over to Texaco so they can actually produce oil. And the Mad Lad is doing it.

More proof you cannot Churro the Maduro.
Yes, we are witnessing the literal definition of a president laying down and thinking of the motherland, all the chavizta faction is uber mad because they cant tolerate a filthy GRINGO calling shots and they cant do anything to him without several retaliation, Petropiar employees homewer are on sky 9 because they believe if they work hard enough the americans are going to take them, i just hope they got rid of all the Chavez pictures in the administrative building

This more like a redemption arc considering unlike DSP he's actively unfucking things instead of continuing to somehow avoid the consequences of his poor life choices. Not something I had for my 2023 bingo card.
I would not be so fast to call it a redemption arc, iirc one of the things Biden handlers asked to Maduro is that if they wanted to get bailed out of the mess they are now they have to guarantee fair elections that are coming soon, everyone know that if a election without the rigged rules Maduro will lose instantly, so this is probably he preparing his meal ticket to when he get out with "grace" and fuck off to another commie country that want him like i dont know Argentina
 
Anyone who feel sorry for Venezuela's top leader?
April 26, 2023

Lefty Colombia holds a peace conference Venezuela -- then kicks out Venezuela's top opposition leader as an illegal alien​

By Monica Showalter


Once upon a time, most of the Western world, including the U.S., feted Juan Guaido as Venezuela's authentic president, following 2018's fraudulent elections that "re-elected" far-left Nicolas Maduro to that office.
Today? He got kicked out of Colombia during a Colombia-sponsored international conference on the crisis in Venezuela as a nuisance, and an illegal alien to boot.
According to the Associated Press:
CARACAS, Venezuela — Venezuelan opposition leader Juan Guaidó said he was expelled from Colombia hours after he crossed the border from Venezuela to try to meet with some participants at an international conference Tuesday to discuss his country’s political crisis.
In a video posted on Twitter, Guaidó said he entered Colombia trying to escape Venezuelan government persecution, but that now he also felt he was being persecuted by President’s Nicolás Maduro in Colombia.
Colombia’s Foreign Ministry said late Monday in a press release that Guaidó was “irregularly” in the country so immigration authorities escorted him to the international airport to take a plane bound to the U.S.
The conference was supposedly all about far-left president Gustavo Petro's wonderful "peacemaking" skills as mediator for all sides in Venezuela's ongoing political crisis.
According to the Associated Press:
BOGOTA, Colombia -- Diplomats from 20 countries gathered Tuesday in Colombia to discuss the political crisis in Venezuela, where Nicolás Maduro’s socialist administration has strengthened its autocratic rule despite international efforts to expand political freedoms in the South American nation.
The conference was hosted by Colombian President Gustavo Petro, who has called for sanctions on Venezuela’s government to be lifted, but also for policies that ensure “more democracy” in Venezuela.
It was obviously a bid by Petro to cast himself as a regional version of China, a mediator, a peacemaker, an alternative to the U.S., in making "peace."
The top Venezuelan opposition leader shows up at this thing, slogging 60 miles on foot through the Colombian swamps and jungle to get there, and well...
 
Anyone who feel sorry for Venezuela's top leader?
I totally forgot about that imbecile, is said that he decided to leave because he was the most rejected candidate in the opposition primaries, so now he join the long list of asylum seekers that become leeches of the USA while they "protest" and "denounce" the crimes of Maduro from Miami

If you want to see how petty he is, he bitched that he could not afford the 8 bucks for his verification mark on Twitter

Edit: lmao literally 50 minutes after i wrote this he do a statement that he will not renounce to his candidacy to the primaries and he will not seek asylum after everyone started to call him a leech
 
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Time to bump a bit this thread with that article.

Black Humor in ‘Communist Fat Camp’​

Everyone knows at least one person who’s been kidnapped, my diabetic uncle credits the government for his toes, and the currency is worth less than toilet paper. Welcome to Venezuela.

By Francis Foster
November 7, 2023

Twenty or so years ago, I was visiting Caracas, the capital of Venezuela—where my mother is from and my grandparents still live—and I met a girl at a party who I instantly connected with. Her name was Diana. We flirted for a bit, but my best friend also had a crush on her, so I backed off. Years later, I returned to Venezuela and wondered if she was still around, and still single.

“Oh, you didn’t hear?” my friend said. “She died.”

Just months before, he told me, she’d been in a car chase with a group of thugs, who were trying to rob and kidnap her. She lost control of her vehicle and it crashed, bursting into flames. No attempts were made to save her and she burned to death in the inferno.

Without skipping a beat, my friend ended his story by saying, “Anyway, man, you want a beer?”

This is the Venezuela I know.

It’s easy to look at the news today—with hundreds upon thousands of Venezuelan migrants flooding into the U.S. over the last few years—and think that something drastic and horrible must’ve happened in Venezuela recently. But the mass exodus is the result of decades of corruption and violence. And what’s truly remarkable isn’t how many people are leaving, but why so many are staying.
 

Venezuela's planned vote over territory dispute leaves Guyana residents on edge​

Congregants of an Anglican church in a sparsely populated rainforest village in Guyana are asking for peace for their community amid what they see as an existential threat
SURAMA, Guyana -- Congregants of an Anglican church in a sparsely populated rainforest village in Guyana gathered recently to bid on a bounty of bananas, squash and other produce during a community event. They sang hymns and rang a bell after each successful bid.

They offered grateful devotions typical of a harvest festival but also asked for peace for their community amid what they see as an existential threat. Their village, Surama, is part of Guyana’s Essequibo region — a territory larger than Greece and rich in oil and minerals that Venezuela claims as its own and whose future it intends to decide Sunday with a referendum.

The practical and legal implications of the vote, which among other things calls for turning Essequibo into a Venezuelan state, remain unclear, but the referendum has left area residents on edge.

“We are praying, we are hoping and we are having faith that nothing negative will come,” said Loreen Allicock, who led the congregation during the harvest festival. “We want to continue living a peaceful life in this beautiful land of ours.”

Venezuela's President Nicolás Maduro has thrown the full weight of his government into the effort, using patriotic rhetoric to try to summon voters to the polls to answer five questions over the territory, including whether current and future area residents should be granted Venezuelan citizenship.
Guyana sees the referendum as a case of annexation and asked the International Court of Justice on Nov. 14 to halt parts of the vote. The court has not issued a decision, but even if it rules against Venezuela, Maduro’s government intends to hold the election Sunday.

The 61,600-square-mile (159,500-square-kilometer) area accounts for two-thirds of Guyana. Yet, Venezuela has always considered Essequibo as its own because the region was within its boundaries during the Spanish colonial period, and it has long disputed the border decided by international arbitrators in 1899, when Guyana was still a British colony.

Venezuela’s commitment to pursue the territorial claim has fluctuated over the years. Its interest piqued again in 2015 when ExxonMobil announced it had found oil in commercial quantities off the Essequibo coast.

The latest chapter on the dispute has sowed anger among area residents, the majority of whom are Indigenous people, against Guyana’s government. Information on the referendum has reached them mostly through inaccurate social media posts that have only created confusion among the Guyanese.

“We feel neglected as the people of this land. Nothing is being done for us at the moment,” said Michael Williams, an Indigenous leader for the Essequibo village of Annai. “The government (...) only comes when they want our votes. Now, there’s this dispute. Nobody is here to tell us, ‘These are the issues. This may come. Let us prepare for it. We are negotiating. We hope for the best.’ Nobody is coming to tell us that.”

The disputed boundary was decided by arbitrators from Britain, Russia and the United States. The U.S. represented Venezuela on the panel in part because the Venezuelan government had broken off diplomatic relations with Britain.

Venezuelan officials contend the Americans and Europeans conspired to cheat their country out of the land and argue that a 1966 agreement to resolve the dispute effectively nullified the original arbitration. Guyana, the only English-speaking country in South America, maintains the initial accord is legal and binding and asked the world court in 2018 to rule it as such.

Venezuelan voters on Sunday will have to answer whether they “agree to reject by all means, in accordance with the law,” the 1899 boundary and whether they support the 1966 agreement “as the only valid legal instrument” to reach a solution.

Maduro’s government held a mock referendum Nov. 19 to get voters acquainted with the issue, but it has not said how many voters participated or what the results were. Officials also have not offered a timetable or specific steps on how they would turn the Essequibo region into a Venezuelan state and grant area residents citizenship should voters approve the proposed measures.

Juan Romero, a lawmaker with the ruling United Socialist Party of Venezuela, told state media that one of the actions the government would have to pursue if people vote in favor of the measures is a constitutional reform to incorporate English as one of Venezuela’s official languages. Meanwhile, another ruling party lawmaker, William Fariñas, has claimed “Essequibans” already “feel Venezuelan.”

That, however, could not be further from the truth.

People in Essequibo are proud of their Indigenous heritage. They point to the names of landmarks, given in their native language, as an example of why they believe the region never belonged to Venezuela. And they insist they do not want their lives disrupted by the referendum.

The International Court of Justice is expected to issue a decision this week on Guyana’s request to halt parts of the referendum. But the court is still years away from ruling on Guyana’s broader request to deem the 1899 border decision as valid and binding. Judges accepted the case last April despite Venezuela's opposition.

In the meantime, Essequibo resident Jacqueline Allicock has one question for Venezuelan voters: “Why would you want to take away something that doesn’t belong to you?”

____ Garcia Cano reported from Mexico City.
 
A broken fisher knife has more edge than our army, nothing is going to happen im going to break it parts

We have been bitching for the esequibo for years but last time we tried to solve this peacefully the venezuelan delegation called the court cunts and biased against them, during years the territory keep being disputed but during Chavez last election he tried to use this as a way to rile his base because he needed enough numbers to rig the election, it worked but after he won he received orders from then alive Fidel Castro to drop the Esequibo thing and everyone forgot about it

Fast forward now, Maduro noticed that in the opposition primaries there had a massive participation and he wanted his own petty event that no one cared to massage his ego, everyone ignored him UNTIL people start to notice the questions are less asking you about the Esequibo and more that in a very passive aggressive way asking if they are ok with a possible invasion to Guayana because the referendum also ask if people reject the decisions of international courts and if they are ok with nationalizing everyone in Guyana to become venezuelan citizens

This started a few alarms specifically from all parts involved, Brazil dont want Venezuelan fucking shit up nearby, Guyana has defense treaties with the USA that they promised they were going to fulfill and are warning Maduro that he signed a deal in exchange for the removal of the sanctions and they are not seeing any movement in his regard, internally? soldiers are nervous because they dont want to go and get Ukrained and less for Maduro, everyone know we have records of desertion and our army are only good against civilians but get hilariously dabbed by people with weapons and even the guerrillas of colombia loves to bully them

Then a day after people from USA defense landed on Guyana they started to warn people that if they dont vote their case is not going to hold in the international court (the same court they ask you to reject in the questions mind you), then start saying that there is not going to be any war jajajaja guys we were joking (a day after Padrino appeared saying that this has not become a war yet because his feelings got hurt with the Guyana president taunting them in the border)

The tldr their attempt to rile the base went a little out of control and when people told them, no fuck you they immediately backpedaled, the referendum is on 3 days, im expecting they cheating the fuck out of it and nothing happening
 
A little addendum, just a few hours before the USA ultimatum was going to end they decided to "lift" the ban of the opposition candidates they barred for going into the ballot

Captura de pantalla 2023-11-30 222133.png

and by "lift" i mean yes but no, they have to go personally to the supreme court to see if they can lift the ban, aka they are going to choose the candidate they want because they dont want Maria Corina Machado to participate, in my opinion they are just gaining time, wait until the lapse end, ban them anyway and wait the american red tape slug to gain time to keep being a annoyance
 
A broken fisher knife has more edge than our army, nothing is going to happen im going to break it parts

We have been bitching for the esequibo for years but last time we tried to solve this peacefully the venezuelan delegation called the court cunts and biased against them, during years the territory keep being disputed but during Chavez last election he tried to use this as a way to rile his base because he needed enough numbers to rig the election, it worked but after he won he received orders from then alive Fidel Castro to drop the Esequibo thing and everyone forgot about it

Fast forward now, Maduro noticed that in the opposition primaries there had a massive participation and he wanted his own petty event that no one cared to massage his ego, everyone ignored him UNTIL people start to notice the questions are less asking you about the Esequibo and more that in a very passive aggressive way asking if they are ok with a possible invasion to Guayana because the referendum also ask if people reject the decisions of international courts and if they are ok with nationalizing everyone in Guyana to become venezuelan citizens

This started a few alarms specifically from all parts involved, Brazil dont want Venezuelan fucking shit up nearby, Guyana has defense treaties with the USA that they promised they were going to fulfill and are warning Maduro that he signed a deal in exchange for the removal of the sanctions and they are not seeing any movement in his regard, internally? soldiers are nervous because they dont want to go and get Ukrained and less for Maduro, everyone know we have records of desertion and our army are only good against civilians but get hilariously dabbed by people with weapons and even the guerrillas of colombia loves to bully them

Then a day after people from USA defense landed on Guyana they started to warn people that if they dont vote their case is not going to hold in the international court (the same court they ask you to reject in the questions mind you), then start saying that there is not going to be any war jajajaja guys we were joking (a day after Padrino appeared saying that this has not become a war yet because his feelings got hurt with the Guyana president taunting them in the border)

The tldr their attempt to rile the base went a little out of control and when people told them, no fuck you they immediately backpedaled, the referendum is on 3 days, im expecting they cheating the fuck out of it and nothing happening

How is Venezuela treated like its a real country?
 
Guyana is also a Commonwealth member. If Maduro invades it, he will have the United Kingdom on his ass. He is buying time because of the elections apparently.
He is going full DSP baiting a war that he cant win, he also know that if he let Maria Corina participate and the americans guarantee he cant cheat he is out, America was clear, all the bans must go or the sanctions come back and his stupid plan that the supreme must decide knowing those wankers dont do anything except break the constitution every single day is the most ass backward way of do it

tldr he is relegating the decision to his own paid courts so america cant blame him for not following the accord he signed, he ACTUALLY believe this childish move will work
How is Venezuela treated like its a real country?
It doesn't, Venezuela is i think the second country most isolated in this planet alongside North Korea

I still believe the main narrative that Maduro want Guyana to sell its resources to China to pay debts, America immediately went there because Guyana has shitload of Refineries runned by AMERICAN companies and they want to prevent another stupid war because a retard cant process no one like him
 
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