I'd just like to thank you for diacovering and contributing huge amounts of well-curated content to this thread.
How do you find all this stuff, anyway?
It's all from Reddit because the mutants of Reddit are easier for me to capture and bring back home to the farms than those on Tumblr, Twitter/X, Bluesky, etc. They just sit there like fat little fish in a barrel. Too easy!
Thread tax.
New kind of dysphoria dropped: this li'l dood wishes she could be just like other boys and spew ejaculate onto the face of a partner. How come nobody ever wants their gender "affirmed" by shit like "helped build a ramp with the boys for a wheelchair user" or "organized a potluck with the gals for victims of disaster"? It always has to be pornographic...
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it says advice needed but i know none of you can actually give any for this [we’ll see] but,
i’ve been sexually active with this super nice and pretty person and its always 10/10, no complaints
i just dont have a penis and that causes severe dysphoria [not during]
like right now.
i got home from work, im laying down and im thinking about last night [because we got freaky] and very often i think about busting a load on their face and then i remember… wait… i cant do that!and it snowballs and then i also remember that they’ve been with cis men and it worsens my dysphoria.
i cannot believe this is a part of dysphoria , you have GOT to be kidding me.
i cant cum on your face so im gonna cry about it now? are we deadass…
i wish there were a way to not be so broken. i just want to be a man but im missing all the parts , and mundane / normal activities cause me nothing but severe distress.
i just wanna bust a load man. i guess thats too much to ask.
A Canadian father of three is so compelled by the concept of troonin' out that he feels an urge to indulge in his obsession behind closed doors whenever possible, to the point that
he explicitly states that he lies to his wife about it and that she straight up cannot trust him not to lie to her further. "Breaking up our family is killing me," he writes piteously, "but the thought of growing old as a man sickens me and I can't keep this up." Don't worry, girliepop! From the sounds of it, you'll get to enjoy both!
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It's been a year and 2 months since I told my wife I'm trans. It's been rough.
My mind is going a million miles a minute today because we got in a fight last night and I don't know what is going to happen now.
Last year I told her I'm trans, but don't want anything to change. I told her I'd stop looking at any gender related stuff and not think about it any more. She said she doesn't want to hear about it at all and is perfectly okay if it's never brought up (basically okay with ignorance is bliss).
None of that happened. I find my gender is fluid, but literally 90% of the time I want to present female and can't stop thinking about it. Lately the dysphoria and longing is INTENSE (I've noticed this happens every few months) and so
last night I was looking up how to feminize my eyebrows when she caught me.
I told her flat out I can't stop thinking about living life as a woman. I told her I don't want to leave her, but I know she won't be with me if I transition. She confirmed that she 100% does not want to be with me if I transition, but does not want to put the family through a divorce. She also does not want me dressing up as a woman around the kids. I need time to process things and figure out what to do, so
I lied again and said that I won't transition and that I'll stop looking at stuff. She asked this morning how she can trust I won't start looking at stuff again and I truthfully told her I can't promise that I won't.
Divorce would ruin me. I don't want to be away from my kids. I provide the sole income and we're living paycheck to paycheck as it is. There's no way I can afford a place of my own (especially because I'd want the kids to visit).
Truthfully, I don't want to be with her. I love her, but she won't ever accept who I am and I don't want to keep hurting her. I want to start HRT and live as ME. So yeah. She's asked where we go from here. I don't know what to tell her.
Breaking up our family is killing me, but the thought of growing old as a man sickens me and I can't keep this up.
Am i crazy to think she wants me to be the villain? She's constantly asking if I'm going to leave her. I tell her emphatically I don't want to leave. Then she'll say she doesn't want to be with me, but doesn't want to divorce me. She keeps accusing me of trying to force her to be the one to end things, but I feel like she's projecting. Any and all advice (especially from Canadian trans girls) would be welcome.
I need to stop lying to myself that I can stay in the closet and stay married.
Back in August, this TiF was struggling with the fact that her twin sister found her (very sexually charged) compulsions towards transition to be fucked up and gross. Now it seems that her sister's TERFy ways are finally having an impact as she sees just how much she'll risk losing if she chooses her fujoshi fantasies over her family.
Last Post (Story #5)
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TW mentions of TERF/gender-critical beliefs and SI
I'm in need of a rant, as I already annoy my trans friends enough.
I found my sister watching a TERF, gender-critical YouTube channel. Their video titles include "Trans Manipulation," "Trans Terrorism," "Gender Cult," and "Trans Supremacy: Kink or Worldview?" I'm in numb disbelief when I really should believe it; hell, it should hardly even surprise me.
A previous post of mine better contextualizes my sister's beliefs, so I'll put things briefly.
Essentially, she is unsupportive of and disgusted by my gender exploration; she thinks it's caused by my OCD; and she has threatened to move out if I start taking testosterone when I cannot afford rent without her.
Catching her viewing these videos has made me finally process what she thinks of me, despite us having an incredibly close relationship outside of my trans "issue." It's added insult to injury, as all week I've been reassessing my path in life, my gender journey, and where my priorities lie.
I've been watching detrans videos, convincing myself of every single talking point: I'm a delusional woman, an insecure woman, I'm rejecting the womanhood that I should embrace. I'm perverted, confused, fetishizing gay men, and internally misogynistic. I'm not trans, and can merely re-train my brain to be the feminine woman I'm supposed to be. HRT would destroy what was given to me, and I'm following cult tactics.
I'm drawn to these reminders because my life is simply unfit to explore gender anymore.
I can't afford or begin T without my parents, sister, and family disowning me. I simply can't live without them, as I identify with how they view me. I love them with my entire soul. But I can wish I was a man until my sister walks in the room, and then it's the most ridiculous, unrealistic, and idiotic thing I've ever considered entertaining. I wish I never wanted it in the first place.
Over these past few days, I've been so miserable, so lost, feeling like an utter fool. I truly have convinced myself that I am a woman. I'm not dysphoric enough, I don't want to k*ll myself over it so why even bother?
Ironically, though, I've been getting intrusive thoughts about suicide (OCD related). I would never act upon these thoughts, but it crosses my mind as something easier for a split second before I reground myself.
I'm not looking for affirmation. If anyone reads this, that's helpful enough, but any advice would be appreciated.
And no, I won't accept the, "Well, f*ck your family," advice, as things aren't so simple. I already cut off one parent because of abuse, so without the rest of my family, I have no one.
Upon being forced into the deplorable indignity of attending a Thanksgiving dinner, a man and his mother get into a fight which allegedly graduates to a screaming match resulting in broken furniture. But OP isn't a wilting wallflower; instead, he meets her ire with hot-blooded rage of his own, fantasizing about the day he can finally live his truth instead of having to meet cruel standards such as "taking showers regularly."
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Hey girls. Been a while. I've been going through an intense depressive episode. Usually this manifests for me by becoming essentially catatonic where I can barely get out of bed, and fall deeper into vices and bad habits. I stop caring for my hygiene, stress eat like crazy, don't shave or change clothes, etc.
What caused my episode of about a month was my mom calling me mentally ill (for my transness and OCD) and saying that I self harm because it gives me pleasure. I realized then and there that no one in my personal life that CAN care, does care. So I shut down.
This pissed her off because me not performing the happy little boy role makes her irrationally upset.
It culminated today in her telling me without prior warning that we're going to my aunt's house tomorrow for Thanksgiving. This pisses me off for two reasons. First off, I NEED prior warning because otherwise it's very mentally draining. Secondly, MY ENTIRE FAMILY MISGENDERS AND DEADNAMES ME. I said I didn't wanna go and she started slamming and breaking things, screaming at me to go shave and shower or else.
Now ofc yes, I needed to shave and shower,
but also can you not give me a fucking bit of compassion, bitch? I have cuts up and down my arm, I'm struggling to even see the next day, and you start fucking hurling abuse at me because I don't want to put up with a toxic family dynamic? It's exhausting to exist like this. Neurodivergent, burnt out, trans and unable to do a damn thing because I'm in a red state, disabled, and deeply depressed. I WANT to be in a better state of mind, but it's not that easy. The SSRIs I was put on have NOT been working. I still feel like utter shit every day.
I despise that this is my life. That I'm not neurotypical. Not cis. Not a perfect little prim and proper overachiever. Not because I hate myself (not that much), but because it would be so much easier to put up with this bitch if I was. Although then again,
this is a woman who is immune to criticism and thinks she's hot shit despite her crowning achievement (by her own admission) being to have raised me. And I hate her which I reckon isn't supposed to happen if you're a good parent, so...
Honestly I've just accepted that I need to get away from her. The second I can, I'm leaving and never speaking to her ass again. Nobody in my family deserves to see me live my true life.
A "gay trans man" (i.e., a heterosexual woman) writes out a laundry list of things she'd like from her hypothetical Mr. Right, which is so specific that the real L is knowing that she is definitely going to be dying alone, I like the part where she, like many other poons, always have to clarify that going T4T - as in, dating a fellow Sister of the AO3 Account - would make her "dysphoric." Hm, how convenient!
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context: i'm a 29 y/o gay trans man and i've had top surgery and a vaginectomy.
i want nothing more than an average cis male-looking setup and this is frankly why *all* i pursued was getting rid of the vagina - bc
it would feel pointless to go through SUCH major reconstructive surgery, and deal with wearing a catheter for months, just to get something unsatisfying. until phallo and orchioplasty gets more advanced i'm much more satisfied physically by simply wearing a packer like i've been doing for the past 13 years. it feels like a natural limb, really.
i say all this bc i've been thinking about how i really do think that in the long run my ideal partner is a cis gay man. partially bc
i just love cock and balls too much (and the qualities i love most about them are much more likely to be present in a cis man's penis than a trans man with phallo) (and in general i'm historically more sexually compatible with them than otherwise) and also because
it would just be more affirming to me to know for CERTAIN that my partner's Homosexual attraction to me is through a relatively normal lens/relationship with society. like i'd know he 100% just sees me as a hot guy and that he wouldn't have to know anything about trans people in order to be into me. i'm not OPPOSED to dating another trans man (i've already done this multiple times and the longest relationship i've ever had was with another trans man), but i just know what i'd prefer.
anyway, that's where it gets complicated, bc
this hypothetical cis gay man must also have feelings on ME and MY junk, and the possibilities are thus: 1) he just doesn't care that much about dick. which
i would HATE because i WANT guys to interact with my dick even though it's not attached to me. i DO feel it to some degree. and frankly
it would just make it seem like he's not actually that gay. 2)
he cares about dick as much as i do, and would therefore be missing real dick as long as we were together, which would make me feel bad. like if i have these standards then it feels unfair of me to expect any other man not to have them. 3)
i have an open relationship where my partner is allowed to go get dick from other guys in order to feed his need for dick... which would make me feel SO BAD it would not be worth it to be in that relationship at all. the only good situation is 4)
one in which i hit the complete jackpot and meet a guy who does love dick but just isn't picky about whether it's attached to me or not, and really just wants more than anything to pleasure other guys, and this desire grows mainly when he has an emotional connection, and he's in love with me and therefore wants to do anything that i want to do, and this includes percieving me EXACTLY as i want to be percieved.
TLDR
i need my partner to like men exclusively and to like cock enough that his ideal partner has a fully functioning penis and balls, but also somehow not so strongly that mine not being functional is disappointing. and
it would just genuinely make me dysphoric to be intentionally t4t, so i can't solve the problem that way.
Another Thanksgiving dessert for the Kiwis: a FTM learns that her cousins have retracted support she once thought was promised to her with a couple of them supposedly returning to her birth name while another quietly disinvites her from his wedding. As always, these people are
not reliable narrators: a peek into OP's post history reveals that
she has past records of violence to the point of hospitalization and
supposedly has a family history of alcoholism. Why wouldn't
you want a volatile, boozed-up pooner starting fights on what's meant to be one of the happiest days of your life?
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Well Thanksgiving was fun…not.
I (27 M) have been out for 8 years. I started HRT at 20, surgery at 24 and legal name change at 23.
It’s been a long time since I’ve been out and I thought everyone in my family had finally come around and accepted me as the man I am. I come from a Catholic, conservative family which meant a lot of trauma to go through, heal from, etc. My family treated my transitioned as if I died or something and I thought we talked it all out but guess not.
Thanksgiving.
My family comes over and I do have a few conservatives relatives but they’ve always called me my name and pronouns so I thought everything was fine. I babysit their kids all the time. The kids call me my name and are accepting. I do everything for them pretty much.
I decided to take some family pictures of them on my Polaroid camera to give to their parents. Once I scanned the pictures I texted them in our family chat.
You see all my cousins have my name in their phones and had for a while. Well sadly I learned tonight that 2 of them decided to change my name back to my deadname recently in the wake of Charlie Kirk dying. They got into his videos after he died and just have been radicalized for the worst.
It’s at the point where they have pulled their kids out of public school and are sending them to a religious school next month so they kids will get a “traditional education” and not be around the “woke agenda.”
The second thing that happened was
I learned that my cousin will not be including me in his wedding this summer. He wouldn’t tell me why exactly but he asked every male relative in our age group to be his groomsmen except for me. They all talked about his bachelor party in front of me and it just hurt so bad. We are 3 months apart and grew up together and to not be included sucks.
When I asked why I wasn’t invited he dodged the question and said nothing. I know his fiancée is a transphobic (I’m stealth around her and she has had no clue I am transgender for this reason). Her family is very pro MAGA too so idk if he did this to “keep the peace.”
Anyways as much as I would love to talk to my parents about this, they will side with my cousins. They’re all about us not fighting and essentially will give me the talks of how hard my transition was for them and
how I need to not care when people use my deadname because “just because someone calls you by your deadname doesn’t mean they don’t love you.” It’s a lot to take on and essentially I have no one to talk to about this who gets it. I personally don’t need advice, just support.
It’s hard being in a house where people just tolerate you but do not fully accept you. I feel betrayed right now.
TDLR: Thanksgiving dinner
I found out 3 of cousins truly don’t accept me as a transgender man and have been pretending to for years.
Lastly, a classic: an autistic man in a dress feels humiliated when he's around biological women who regard him as little more than a very socially awkward fly on the wall; after having a panic attack in the bathroom from finding the bar's atmosphere too overwhelming, he decides he should stay out of women's spaces for "at least a year or so." Given that his profile describes him as a "
Autistic transbian and puppygirl 
Also kinda 24/7 silly and horny", I have a feeling the ladies there are unlikely to warm up to his presence in a mere 12 months.
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So I went in there thinking maybe I could find some new friends and get over my crush rejecting me, but nope
even though I'm FULLY AWARE I DON'T PASS AS A TRANS-GIRL it all just went so much more horribly wrong then I expected X(
First of all everyone in there was either a cis girl or super passing and I felt like such a damn imposter and outsider. I really tried my best to look as feminine as I dared to walk through the city at night but
still I felt like a boy in a skirt and some other stuff intruding upon a women's space and just trying way too hard to pretend to be a girl 
.
And they were all so much damm older and more confident and I just stand there on the bar like the biggest loser lesbian ever fidgeting with my glass and insecurely looked for a few seconds at the others having fun. I mean I'm already quite introverted and anxious by nature but this just felt even more wrong than ever before.
I really thought I'd feel more comfortable at an inclusive club than at a normal bar or so, but at the end I was honestly just sitting on the toilet for half an hour having a panic attack.
And to add to all of this
I'm also autistic and real sensitive to loud sounds and yeahhhh... let's just say the music was real loud so I was a little much overstimulated.
So basically I think I probably won't even dare to go in there (or any other women space) again for at least a year or so.But does anyone have any tips on how to not be such a fuckup loser and
maybe feel like I'd actually belong there the next time instead of like some boy playing dress up?
