TheMysteriousMrEnter

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WhoWantsStancakes said:
In reply to Nayolfa's comment on DA, I honestly think looking at all of the criticisms would help. Sure, it's not gonna start out amazing, but there are some major flaws with the show.
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If you have ideas on how to improve the show please toss them by me. The me and the team are always trying to find more ways to improve the show daily. Unfortunately most of them can't be added to the pilot since it's already well into production.
 
Nayolfa said:
If you have ideas on how to improve the show please toss them by me. The me and the team are always trying to find more ways to improve the show daily. Unfortunately most of them can't be added to the pilot since it's already well into production.
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Are you saying the show bible is now finished?

Because you can't have the pilot be considered as anything but "subject to change" if the bible isn't complete, due to the fact anything that contradicts the bible's final word in the end will need to be rectified in the pilot itself.
 
Nayolfa said:
If you have ideas on how to improve the show please toss them by me. The me and the team are always trying to find more ways to improve the show daily. Unfortunately most of them can't be added to the pilot since it's already well into production.
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Then scrap all episodes in production and restart development, and actually spend time crafting lore and characters and a series bible.
 
Nayolfa said:
Good afternoon. Time to clear some things up. The only comment I've seen from KFC was this -

"I want to reiterate that there is no point in having a pony character. If this dreck ever even touches the airways, it is safe to assume Hasbro won't be happy with this sad excuse for media.

I am open to discussion, chap, so feel free to disagree."

I did not see his review of the episode, considering he only posted on this site. Nor do I intend to read it since he outrightly stated to be a troll here.

I can accept if someone dislikes what me, MrEnter, and the others are doing. But being an asshole about it and not providing anything to back up your opinions is nothing I can accept. Especially is the said asshole post snippets of the conversation to bad mouth my name.

I'll be around here for a while if you'd like to chat. I'm just hanging out with my neighbor and getting some college work done so I'm not too busy.
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Yeah, I got a question... Did you guys ever explain the role and authority level of teenagers in the world or plan to? I've seen several people ask that but no answers to it.

The idea of giving children authority itself is going to be difficult to explain. If they were genuinely wiser you could work with that but it seems more like a bizzaro world.
 
@Optimus Prime - The show bible's not finished. We spend a good 4 months planning most of it before we decided to start production. There is really no guide to making a cartoon, so we are figuring out this as we make the pilot. The pilot shows everything the basics idea of the concept, everything else could be explained in the show bible (which we are starting to finish up).

@WhoWantsStancakes - The pilot episode is to learn what we are doing. Scraping it will be no benefit to us.

@Chubby_Penguin - No, those will come in the pitch bible though.

As a note, the scripts of the shows that are written are drafts. Some will be scrapped, the remainders will be improved upon until they are the best we can get them to be.
 
Nayolfa said:
@Optimus Prime - The show bible's not finished. We spend a good 4 months planning most of it before we decided to start production. There is really no guide to making a cartoon, so we are figuring out this as we make the pilot. The pilot shows everything the basics idea of the concept, everything else could be explained in the show bible (which we are starting to finish up).

@WhoWantsStancakes - The pilot episode is to learn what we are doing. Scraping it will be no benefit to us.

@Chubby_Penguin - No, those will come in the pitch bible though.

As a note, the scripts of the shows that are written are drafts. Some will be scrapped, the remainders will be improved upon until they are the best we can get them to be.
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SCRAP THE PONY CHARACTER.

It's pointless and has no personality and is just an MLP-suck up.
 
WhoWantsStancakes said:
SCRAP THE PONY CHARACTER.

It's pointless and has no personality and is just an MLP-suck up.
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The pony character is actually the family pet of the show, it's not intended to be what you call a "MLP-suck up". When we revisit the script, well touch up on Gumdrop and decide whether she would be an asset to the show or not.
 
Nayolfa said:
@Optimus Prime - The show bible's not finished. We spend a good 4 months planning most of it before we decided to start production. There is really no guide to making a cartoon, so we are figuring out this as we make the pilot. The pilot shows everything the basics idea of the concept, everything else could be explained in the show bible (which we are starting to finish up).
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What?

No! That's backwards!

The show bible is literally just that: the bible of your series. It is the ultimate, final authority in defining every last detail about the show. It defines who your characters are, what they like and don't like, their relationships to other characters, their lifelong goals and dreams, where they live, what they do on a day-to-day bais...

The show bible is the foundation of any cartoon show. It is what is drawn from when the scripts are written, which are also necessary to have finalized before any animation can begin.

What you're heavily implying here is that you guys tried to complete the story bible, got bored of just planning stuff, and skipped right ahead to the "fun" part that is storyboarding and actual animation. In truth; actual animation should be the last phase of the actual production process to be completed, after everything before it was set in stone, not the thing that gets done before anything else. It's like trying to build the penthouse suite on the top of a tall hotel before the rest of the building below it even has enough load-bearing walls.

@WhoWantsStancakes - The pilot episode is to learn what we are doing. Scraping it will be no benefit to us.
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But you don't even know if it's going to be related to the final version of the show bible, what benefit would it be then?
@Chubby_Penguin - No, those will come in the pitch bible though.
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So you're saying that the kids can, effectively, be rationalized in anything they do, because the concept of the limits of their authority is undefined (and therefore absolute as there is nothing defined for them to not be able to do).

That's...not good writing practice. What this sounds like is characters controling the plot. What it should be is the plot controling the characters.

Nayolfa said:
The pony character is actually the family pet of the show, it's not intended to be what you call a "MLP-suck up". When we revisit the script, well touch up on Gumdrop and decide whether she would be an asset to the show or not.
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But the fact is; it's still a clearly special horse. Why does the family need a pony as the family pet as opposed to something more conventional like, say, a giant St. Bernard? Why was it even a horse to begin with instead of a cow? A tiger? A mutant fly?

Because that is the kind of stuff that needs to be predefined in the show bible.
 
@Optimus Prime - I did not say that, we already have all the information about what the character aspire to do, their characteristic, etc. That is what we finished first, the scripts and art were made so we could figure out how to expand the ideas.

Making the pilot is what we are learning from. And if not finalizing every single tiny detail was a mistake then sorry, mistakes will be made. The pilot is essentially learning how to produce a full episode of a cartoon.

And horses/ponies are awesome. Pretty smart creatures, more so than most dogs or cows I'd say. I actually suggested it to MrEnter after visiting my friends who owned a horse.

I'll toss how much the children control authority and having the plot control the story over to MrEnter and the other later tonight. Thanks for your insight.
 
Nayolfa said:
@Optimus Prime - I did not say that, we already have all the information about what the character aspire to do, their characteristic, etc. That is what we finished first, the scripts and art were made so we could figure out how to expand the ideas.

Making the pilot is what we are learning from. And if not finalizing every single tiny detail was a mistake then sorry, mistakes will be made.

And horses/ponies are awesome. Pretty smart creatures, more so than most dogs or cows I'd say.

I'll toss how much the children control authority and having the plot control the story over to MrEnter and the other later tonight. Thanks for your insight.
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A question I've had about this whole concept since the beginning is how does this world work exactly? I don't understand how children can run an entire society. When they grow up, do they just forget everything from when they were children?
 
Nayolfa said:
I did not say that, we already have all the information about what the character aspire to do, their characteristic, etc. That is what we finished first, the scripts and art were made so we could figure out how to expand the ideas.
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Are you implying that you guys just got to designing and personality instead of focusing on the world, ideology and so on prior? I mean, this is going to be harsh, but you're implying that you tossed the characters and their personalities out willy-nilly, and that's why most of us think they're cliche. They need lots and lots of more work. I know, it's a prototype but if the character's cliche-ridden personalities are going to be final then something isn't right.

Nayolfa said:
Making the pilot is what we are learning from. And if not finalizing every single tiny detail was a mistake then sorry, mistakes will be made.
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Dude, learning from making the pilot isn't a good idea. As Optimus Prime said, use the series bible. Plan the pilot, it's story. Don't make excuses like "oh, mistakes will be made" for the show's bigger flaws at hand that need immediate fixing before becoming a reality.

Nayolfa said:
And horses/ponies are awesome. Pretty smart creatures, more so than most dogs or cows I'd say.
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That doesn't explain why a pony character is in the show. Please elaborate on that instead of going "oh ponies/horses are smart".

Nayolfa said:
I'll toss how much the children control authority and having the plot control the story over to MrEnter and the other later tonight. Thanks for your insight.
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Please do, and don't make excuses when explaining these criticisms to Enter so you can still be on good terms with him. We're trying to tell you that this cartoon pitch has a lot of flaws and cliches and they need some serious fixing before being put to the test, y'know?

Nayolfa said:
Basically the parents raise their children until they reach a certain level of understanding to run society. When they reach a certain age (13-16) they have to give up authority and learn to be an adult. Adults give birth to children and the cycle repeat.
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That's...that's pretty lazy for a concept. How about this:

In a world, thanks to a chemical children end up being more intelligent and complex than adults, and end up using authority over the less smarter adults. As a result, the world's politics and society changes: adults go to grade school, are treated like kids, etc.

Sounds a lot more better in hindsight, eh?
 
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Gazelle_Bro said:
A question I've had about this whole concept since the beginning is how does this world work exactly? I don't understand how children can run an entire society. When they grow up, do they just forget everything from when they were children?
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Basically the parents raise their children until they reach a certain level of understanding to run society. When they reach a certain age (13-16) they have to give up authority and learn to be an adult. Adults give birth to children and the cycle repeat.
 
Nayolfa said:
Basically the parents raise their children until they reach a certain level of understanding to run society. When they reach a certain age (13-16) they have to give up authority and learn to be an adult. Adults give birth to children and the cycle repeat.
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So why dont' adults just run society in that case? Are they incapable of doing so?
 
Nayolfa said:
If you have ideas on how to improve the show please toss them by me. The me and the team are always trying to find more ways to improve the show daily. Unfortunately most of them can't be added to the pilot since it's already well into production.
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Oh boy. I have a few major problems with the entire show.

1) Lame - This show is pretty lame. Many of the episodes of boring as hell. I suggest taking more risks. Actual risks, not minor changes to stock plots. Either tell more jokes or have more interesting plots.

2) Originality - Many of your plots are stock and some of your jokes are pretty much stolen. A little influence from other shows is okay, but at least change up the plots/jokes.

3) Characters - The characters are pretty bad. They are either boring or unlikeable. Give them more personality.

4) Development - You guys aren't that good with developing the series. You guys aren't even halfway done with the pilot, meanwhile, you have about a dozen scripts out. Try and just focus on one thing at a time.

There are many other problems, but these are the main problems. If you fix at least these issues, the series could actually be decent.
 
Dilbertmann said:
Are you implying that you guys just got to designing and personality instead of focusing on the world, ideology and so on prior? I mean, this is going to be harsh, but you're implying that you tossed the characters and their personalities out willy-nilly, and that's why most of us think they're cliche. They need lots and lots of more work. I know, it's a prototype but if the character's cliche-ridden personalities are going to be final then something isn't right.



Dude, learning from making the pilot isn't a good idea. As Optimus Prime said, use the series bible. Plan the pilot, it's story. Don't make excuses like "oh, mistakes will be made" for the show's bigger flaws at hand that need immediate fixing before becoming a reality.



That doesn't explain why a pony character is in the show. Please elaborate on that instead of going "oh ponies/horses are smart".



Please do, and don't make excuses when explaining these criticisms to Enter so you can still be on good terms with him. We're trying to tell you that this cartoon pitch has a lot of flaws and cliches and they need some serious fixing before being put to the test, y'know?
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If I implied that I apologize. But we do have everything down for out characters as of now. They still need some improvement, so I get what your saying.

Anyways, I'm not trying to make excuses. We had all the information we needed to write the pilot, and begun the production process while working out other details. If some things need improvement, we will add it where we can, it's not worth it to scrap the months of progress we made to start again.

Sally likes ponies, and a few other girly things like that. She sincerely thinks that a pony would cheer Robert up in that episode and decides the buy it. Robert gets attached it, horse is part of family. Happy? Sorry if your not, but that what we decided. Instead of being unnecessary, the horse actually gives the series more episode potentials.

If I see a major problem with the series, I immediately address the problem to him. I'm basically the director of this series. I find out what needs to be done, and get it done. I don't always know how to do that sometimes and I have to improvise.

~Nayolfa
 
Nayolfa said:
If I implied that I apologize. But we do have everything down for out characters as of now. They still need some improvement, so I get what your saying.

Anyways, I'm not trying to make excuses. We had all the information we needed to write the pilot, and begun the production process while working out other details. If some things need improvement, we will add it where we can, it's not worth it to scrap the months of progress we made to start again.

Sally likes ponies, and a few other girly things like that. She sincerely thinks that a pony would cheer Robert up in that episode and decides the buy it. Robert gets attached it, horse is part of family. Happy? Sorry if your not, but that what we decided. Instead of being unnecessary, the horse actually gives the series more episode potentials.

If I see a major problem with the series, I immediately address the problem to him. I'm basically the director of this series. I find out what needs to be done, and get it done. I don't always know how to do that sometimes and I have to improvise.

~Nayolfa
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Alright. I'm just throwing my two cents. But the pony...be careful. Don't overuse it and make it the star of the show, y'know.
 
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