The NFL Thread - Root for your favorite team (or laugh at the Browns, whichever's easier)

[Bonzi Baptist]

My father just came in and raged at me for a solid 10 minutes.
The deal that I have heard is that it is:
Kenny Clark and Two First-round picks for Micah Parsons.

Heartbreaking for a lot of Dallas fans; the writing on the wall makes me think that a full rebuild might be on its way.
I'd expect CeeDee Lamb to be traded in the next 2 or 3 years, but you never know with how the draft picks work.
We might see a 2014 cowboys roster happen again, or it might be a 2016. Or a mix.

I'm a Dallas Cowboys fan, but I also haven't been watching the NFL for a long time, except in hotel rooms and YouTube clips, due to not having cable TV. Can somebody explain to me why this is a bad deal for the Cowboys?

 

[Wemmy]

Why is there Foobaw™ featured on my lolcow website?

 

[David Thoughie]

>NFL Linebacker Micah Parsons has been traded from the Dallas Cowboys to the Green Bay Packers in exchange for two first-round draft picks and Defensive Tackle Kenny Clark. Parsons has signed a 4-year, $188 million deal with $136 million guaranteed.

 

[404 User Not Found]

The NFL thread being highlighted on KF is hilarious

 

[Trombonista]

Antonio Brown would probably make for a good thread

I already made one.

 

[Leaf Wage Slave Jr]

The fuck happened - ah, thread got Featured. Happens every time

I almost feel we can't even blame Jerry anymore. There is some kind of curse with this franchise that is preventing them from ever obtaining broader success.

I do believe Jerruh is on record that if he won Superbowl 30 he’d never ask for another one. Least I think it was 30.

Point is, whoever heard that is clearly honouring the deal - the Cowboys likely aren’t winning shit until Jerruh croaks.

 

[Rotollo 2]

how will this effect the kiwi farms top player, LeJarious Sneed?

 

[Smokingpoop]

I wish Dak Prescott would kill himself smug overpaid mulatto faggot

 

[LikeAStone 2.0]

>NFL Linebacker Micah Parsons has been traded from the Dallas Cowboys to the Green Bay Packers in exchange for two first-round draft picks and Defensive Tackle Kenny Clark. Parsons has signed a 4-year, $188 million deal with $136 million guaranteed.
View attachment 7845403

Not all niggerballers are black retards. I mean, look at Johnny Manziel, that nigga is the most retarded NFL player of all time and he’s white as a motherfucker.

 

[Americunt]

My Eagles are getting another Lombardi, I wish Jerruh Jones a long life, week 1 is about to be a cake walk, can't wait to see Dak Poopscoot be picked off by Yakubian model citizen Cooper Dejean, and Jalen Hurts and Saquon Barkley shred Dallass's awful defense.

 

[ShapelyMutton]

If I wanted to read a football forum it would be castefootball.us

 

[Enig]

Is this one of those random features to distract everyone from three death headlines in one month or something, why should I care about fuhbawl when it's just a shit adaptation of rugby used to push mass advertising on the kind of people who confuse pickup trucks with family SUVs and have been in the same sports team hoodie dress code since freshman year of high school

 

[mindlessobserver]

The amount of rage in this thread reminds me of the rage I caught when I pointed out a stupid movie about a KPOP band killing demons became the most streamed movie in history and also became the only movie in history to place four consecutive billboard top 10s.

 

[DocMorbis]

As a Packers fan our GM should be charged for Elder Abuse. Convinced Old Jerry to trade Parsons for only Two firsts and a guy who just had his worst season. Looooool

 

[WULULULULU]

Normally I’d be surprised by the featuring of sports content on KF, but when you think about it the Cowboys are basically one giant sports lolcow, so it fits

Dallas as a whole is starting to become lolcow material.

 

[Colress]

I like bonding with my dad and a very good friend of mine over foo-baw (you know who you are, hiii.). I don't really know anything about it, but it brings out something in most people that is generally a good vibe to be around.

 

[Absolutego]

This is exactly why I featured the thread. On another note, no one is obligated to post in a featured thread if said thread doesn't interest them.

On that note, from the Cowboys press conference to explain why they volunteered to get fleeced (choice quotes below):

"We did think it was in the best interest, of our organization. Not only in the future, but...right now. This season. As well"
"There's no question that I could have signed him in April...this was by design"
"There's no bad feelings on my part that things didn't work out"
"The facts are - I'm sure we'll get to it with your questions - but the facts are, that we needed to stop the run. And we haven't been able to stop the run at key times, for several years..."
He goes on at length how Michael (why does he keep calling him Michael? Micah isn't a nickname) is too good of a pass rusher so teams just run the ball against them.
And then he continues to babble about how important the amount of picks are to deal with "attrition" in a sport with a hard roster cap (apparently there's conditions that could increase the number of picks to 4 instead of 2+Kenny Clark?)
"We knew beginning this spring, that if we could pick up a TOP interior defensive lineman, just to offset not having a pass rusher (even though it's Micah) where we're long, where we're strong, is in the pass rushing game. And we knew that if we could get an interior lineman that THAT was at least something that could improve us right there, an interior lineman. He comes in strong for us, and he comes in accomplished for us"
At this point I'd like to throw out there that Kenny Clark is a) 30 years old, b) posted his worst stats in his career last year, and c) was an alternate for (I think) two of those 3 Pro Bowls he's got. A while ago.
It's not like Jerry traded his generational edge rusher for multiple first rounders and, say, Deforest Buckner or Vita Vea, he did it for a guy whose floor (barring injury) is solid starter.

Also throughout the conference Jerry keeps emphasizing he's still all in, still thinks this team can compete this year, still thinks a ring is on the table with this current roster.

 

[Roving Opossum]

Is this the bread and circus thing I've heard so much about? also how does this affect L'jarius Sneed?

 

[xX Puss Slayer Xx]

I wish Dak Prescott would kill himself smug overpaid mulatto faggot

Dak seems like an extremely positive dude despite dealing with multiple family tragedys over the last couple of years

if he was on a diff team I feel like he would be universally liked (plus alot of the playoff chokes werent his fault)

 

[Americunt]

As a Packers fan our GM should be charged for Elder Abuse. Convinced Old Jerry to trade Parsons for only Two firsts and a guy who just had his worst season. Looooool

Genuinely baffling trade until you realize it's Jerry Jones at the reins. Packers are at worst a middle of the road team, their first round pick is like 16 and above, you're not picking up an immediately understood generational talent that late in the draft, and it's not like Dallas has a conniving Jew like Howie Roseman to flip that draft capitol into infinite picks like the Eagles do. Happy for the Packers middling defense, and the cowgirls enduring mediocrity

Dallas as a whole is starting to become lolcow material.

I don't watch basketball but tough year for Dallas sports fans between this and Luka.