The Cole Smithey Thread

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feedtheoctopus said:
Cole barely knew Chris before that Parrapa bullshit and he knew him even less after it. They were never really in each other's lives. Cole left Virginia as soon as he could then pretty much cut Barb out of his life entirely. At this point speculating as to Cole's opinions on his family is like asking him for his opinion on a total stranger.

I'm sure the guy was all kinds of fucked up when he heard what happened. Who wouldn't be? But he's also smart enough to have stayed out of this nonsense for almost 20 years, and he's smart enough to keep staying out of it
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Well he is the world's smartest critic after all
 
NiggerJim said:
stay fit and eat right. Im 30 and my interns thought I was their age(18,19,20). We had a temp that was 21 who everyone thought was 30.
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worked 2 jobs and was going to school full time back then. and still got a workout in the 2 hour gap. Stay active my friend.
 
Here's an interesting question. Maybe I am wrong but isn't Cole married? Is it to a woman or a man? And if so who is it. Also, how can Cole afford to live in Manhattan? I thought he was just a member of some online film critics society anyone can apply for which got him on rotten tomatoes. Where is the money coming from to pay for a 3k a month apartment? Maybe this is why Chris shows Cole with money to burn.
 
TemeculanZardo said:
Here's an interesting question. Maybe I am wrong but isn't Cole married? Is it to a woman or a man? And if so who is it. Also, how can Cole afford to live in Manhattan? I thought he was just a member of some online film critics society anyone can apply for which got him on rotten tomatoes. Where is the money coming from to pay for a 3k a month apartment? Maybe this is why Chris shows Cole with money to burn.
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He married a wealthy woman.
 
TemeculanZardo said:
Here's an interesting question. Maybe I am wrong but isn't Cole married? Is it to a woman or a man? And if so who is it. Also, how can Cole afford to live in Manhattan? I thought he was just a member of some online film critics society anyone can apply for which got him on rotten tomatoes. Where is the money coming from to pay for a 3k a month apartment? Maybe this is why Chris shows Cole with money to burn.
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Cole has a wife (who wasn't born with a penis) and she either comes from money or has a very high paying job. She's the bread winner and supports Cole while he practices his "profession".
 
BurningPewter said:
it's weird how both Barb's kids became internet famous/notorious, at totally different times and for totally different reasons. Like they both became almost famous for attention seeking and annoying (Cole with his controversial reviews, fighting with Ebert). Barbs "infamous attention seeker" genes must be strong
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Someone on here once said that the two are kind of living a twisted version of each other’s (supposed) dreams. Cole is a house husband who professionally reviews media. Chris is famous and quoted (if only online) with people interested in him and sending him money. Neither really works for a living, which is par for the course in their bloodline.
 
DeeCeeBees said:
I wonder if the State of VA will contact Cole if Barb requires guardianship. How the fuck is he gonna say "NO WAY" and that he wants nothing to do with his freshly raped and elderly senile mother. I could see if my brother went to jail and animal control asked me to take his dog and me saying no. It's a dog. But someone who's vagina you came out of? Have a little compassion you asshole.
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33 states, Virginia included, have laws which allow them to bill children for whatever Medicare or private funds do not cover. They are allowed to pursue someone out of state, so theoretically they could come after Cole in New York, Getting money out of people is one thing, but I don't think they have any way to force someone to take physical custody of a person.
 
I can't even imagine what Cole is feeling right now. The shame he must feel that his mom chose to fuck Chris over him.
 
Glassshardballpit said:
Well he is the world's smartest critic after all
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"Poorly written, poorly acted, and leans heavily on incestual sexual imagery and a convoluted delusional backstory for the central protagonist. We spend more time learning about the character's mental issues than the real world problems they face. I give my former family a paltry 1 out of 5 stars. I came out of this viewing more disappointed and frankly disgusted by what I watched. Would not recommend"

t.- Cole Smithey
 
I remember something about Cole trying to get people to pay him 100 dollars for a hour to spend with him at a bar drinking craft beer and talking about movies or something because he is the most interesting film critic in the world according to him. Something like that I forget what it was but, somebody should offer to pay him 100 dollars for a hour with him drinking craft beer but it must be video taped and Cole must discuss and answer questions strictly about Christian Weston chandler and no talk of movies. A video of Cole discussing Chris Chan after the arrest of chris Chan it would just provide so many unanswered questions and it would be such a gold mine of information. Cole is sitting on so much information that he is just hoarding all to himself just because he thinks he is too good to get online! It really frustrates me that Cole won’t make a account on this forum and start talking about Chris Chan or better yet make posts here and also make YouTube videos of himself talking about Chris Chan and post the videos here and also make posts discussing the YouTube videos he could make about Chris Chan
 
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