The Cole Smithey Thread

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{o}P II said:
I remember hearing that somewhere as well

I wonder if he will show up to barbs funereal
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If he got some sort of mental capability (LoL no) he wont, because it will be like Paper Moon, that he will be forced to bring the 'Tard home.
 
{o}P II said:
I remember hearing that somewhere as well

I wonder if he will show up to barbs funereal
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I highly doubt it. He hated Bob, and I'm certain Barb isn't far behind. For all Bob's faults, he seemed like a decent guy. Barb is just a terrible excuse of a human being. And of course he'd want as little to do with Chris as possible, and we all know Barb's funeral and Cole possibly showing up would be all Chris needed to try and glom on to him for money or a place to live.

Cole's a shit stain, but he's not stupid. I wouldn't attend either if I was him.
 
Chris is up there at the podium giving a eulogy to an audience of plushies and HAND DRAWN pictures.

And of course the actual Sonichu characters that only Chris can see and talk to.
 
WorldsSmartestManRonOTool said:
I still say Barb outlives Chris, but what a spectacle her funeral would be if I am wrong. You know he will have poster sized displays of his Sonichu/pony horseshit, and probably have a Sonichu medallion on Barb in her casket. While he is dressed like Jackie Kennedy at JFK's funeral.
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Funerals cost money. Barb's getting low end cremation and getting slid into the drawer that Bob prepaid for.
 
Autumnal Equinox said:
I highly doubt it. He hated Bob, and I'm certain Barb isn't far behind. For all Bob's faults, he seemed like a decent guy. Barb is just a terrible excuse of a human being.
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Remember when the conventional wisdom in the CWCommunity was that Barb was a good person and we all felt sorry for her for being related to the pile of human wreckage that is Chris-chan? How times have changed.
 
WutangLee said:
Cole, from what I've read of his work. Is something of an elitist. And probably looks down on internet-subcultures and isn't likely aware of the grand reach of trolling culture. Yeah, he'll probably never touch Sonichu.
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It fits his egotistical nature, seeing himself as a "high tier" critic above the opinions of "damn dirty plebs" like us....when in reality, he is just a despered loser just barely less pathetic than his half brother.

He probably thought TLJ was a subversive masterpiece and Rambo The Last Blood a " Trump-themed power fantasy" and that the Joker movie will cause an "incel uprising"

What a fucking tool.
Bragorboats said:
Years ago, when Bob died I have a vague memory of people ringing Cole to let him know Bob had died, and he said something like "I know I know, please stop ringing"

Does anyone else remember this or am I making it up?
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I think it was one of the calls that showed he had some sort of emotional reaction to Bob's death, perhaps showing he still did care deep down...or at least he realized that with his death, so died any chance of patching things up before the end.
Pity.

Xochi said:
Remember when the conventional wisdom in the CWCommunity was that Barb was a good person and we all felt sorry for her for being related to the pile of human wreckage that is Chris-chan? How times have changed.
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Well those were the earlier days when we thought Chris would be a tard that would just fade away with time along with his crappy online comic and we would quickly move on to the next lolcow.

Reminds me of a comment from "Something Awful" Thread about the Sonichu site, one of the first online conversations about Chris Chan: "Well, I think that site just gave my computer HIV, dont go there if you value your sanity."

Good times.
 
Xochi said:
Remember when the conventional wisdom in the CWCommunity was that Barb was a good person and we all felt sorry for her for being related to the pile of human wreckage that is Chris-chan? How times have changed.
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As far as I can recall, Barbara Anne Weston Chandler has never been in danger of winning popularity contests.
 
Xochi said:
Remember when the conventional wisdom in the CWCommunity was that Barb was a good person and we all felt sorry for her for being related to the pile of human wreckage that is Chris-chan? How times have changed.
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Ummm. . .no? When was that? I was never really a member of the community but I don't remember the ED pages that later turned into the CWCki ever being at all friendly to Barb.
 
AnOminous said:
Ummm. . .no? When was that? I was never really a member of the community but I don't remember the ED pages that later turned into the CWCki ever being at all friendly to Barb.
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Barb has always been hated by the trolls and anyone else who followed Chris, but I get the feeling that in the early trolling days, Bob was the one who was more hated on the surface level because of his conservative views while Barb was just dismissed as being a lazy redneck woman who spoiled her son.

After all, this happened in the late 2000's, during the tail end of the Bush Administration when it was popular to hate on old Southern conservative types like Bob. Once we learned more about Chris and his parents, the more we learned that Bob was well-meaning but incompetent and out of touch while Barb was an unlikable monster who did more than anyone else (aside from Chris himself) to make Chris the fuck-up he is today.

I don't think Cole will show up to Barb's funeral. He's got no reason to do so, except maybe to get some closure of some sort. As it is, even that's unlikely.

If he does even acknowledge Barb's death at all, he'll probably do so by gloating about it online because he's that much of a pretentious dickwad. He probably won't mention Chris in such a statement because he knows what kind of attention that will bring.

In the very unlikely off chance that he does attend Barb's funeral, he'll try to keep his distance from Chris as best he can.

As amusing as it would be to see him taunt Chris at the funeral or get into a huge verbal spat with Chris over any living arrangements, he's not that big of a douchebag to do the former and is not that big of an idiot to do the latter.
 
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Syaoran Li said:
Barb has always been hated by the trolls and anyone else who followed Chris, but I get the feeling that in the early trolling days, Bob was the one who was more hated on the surface level because of his conservative views while Barb was just dismissed as being a lazy redneck woman who spoiled her son.

After all, this happened in the late 2000's, during the tail end of the Bush Administration when it was popular to hate on old Southern conservative types like Bob. Once we learned more about Chris and his parents, the more we learned that Bob was well-meaning but incompetent and out of touch while Barb was an unlikable monster who did more than anyone else (aside from Chris himself) to make Chris the fuck-up he is today.

I don't think Cole will show up to Barb's funeral. He's got no reason to do so, except maybe to get some closure of some sort. If he does even acknowledge Barb's death at all, he'll probably do so by gloating about it online because he's that much of a pretentious dickwad. He probably won't mention Chris in such a statement because he knows what kind of attention that will bring.

In the very unlikely off chance that he does attend Barb's funeral, he'll try to keep his distance from Chris as best he can.

As amusing as it would be to see him taunt Chris at the funeral or get into a huge verbal spat with Chris over any living arrangements, he's not that big of a douchebag to do the former and is not that big of an idiot to do the latter.
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While the level of spergery varies, a big ego definitely runs in the Weston and Chandler families.

In the emails where Cole tells Chris why he hates Barb and Bob, it seems like Barb abused him and Bob didn't do shit about it, causing Cole to hate them both.

So Cole takes his big ego and his lack of talent and instead of drawing abominations and sponging off the populace, he goes and makes a living criticizing works he could never produce himself. His wife is probably the bigger earner.

Dude isn't likable at all, but at least he has a job of some sort and his wife hasn't fled into the night.

Cole will not do anything to rescue Chris when Barb croaks and he damn sure ain't going to the funeral. I would bet money on those things if I had any. Maybe I'll bet you a joint and a PBR. lol
 
Super Colon Blow said:
While the level of spergery varies, a big ego definitely runs in the Weston and Chandler families.

In the emails where Cole tells Chris why he hates Barb and Bob, it seems like Barb abused him and Bob didn't do shit about it, causing Cole to hate them both.

So Cole takes his big ego and his lack of talent and instead of drawing abominations and sponging off the populace, he goes and makes a living criticizing works he could never produce himself. His wife is probably the bigger earner.

Dude isn't likable at all, but at least he has a job of some sort and his wife hasn't fled into the night.

Cole will not do anything to rescue Chris when Barb croaks and he damn sure ain't going to the funeral. I would bet money on those things if I had any. Maybe I'll bet you a joint and a PBR. lol
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I agree that he's definitely not helping Chris, and he's probably not going to the funeral either. If he did go (and that is a pretty massive if) it would be for his own personal sense of closure and he would do his best not to interact with Chris.

The only reason why I put Cole attending Barb's funeral as a "probably not" instead of a "definitely not" is because Chris's entire life is an insane ride where the kind of things you'd expect least end up happening anyway.

Although if Cole does somehow defying all odds and end up going to Barb's funeral, I'd expect a meltdown on Chris's part because Cole is not helping Chris at all in any timeline.

Like I said earlier, if Cole acknowledges Barb's death at all, it's gonna be through some online post and he's gonna get a lot of attention from w.e.e.n.s and other wannabe trolls no matter how hard he tries to avoid mentioning Chris.
 
I predict Barb's death will pass and Cole won't make a squeak about it. We'll hear his thoughts about it after Chris frantically e-mails him for assistance and Cole blows him off with a snippy "Well, our mother had a chance to tell me who my real father was, but she told me to pound sand instead, so that's what I'm telling you." I also predict Chris will harass Cole for assistance up until the moment the mortgage repo guys toss him and his legos out onto the lawn of 14 Branchland Court.
 
Syaoran Li said:
As amusing as it would be to see him taunt Chris at the funeral or get into a huge verbal spat with Chris over any living arrangements, he's not that big of a douchebag to do the former and is not that big of an idiot to do the latter.
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While I think im then end you're right, I dont think it's because Cole isn't enough of a douche bag. This is the guy who sent 5 emails in a row screaming at his retarded brother about his Mom and used that contest to manipulate him. Given, it's fucking Chris so it was the only reason he was talk in to Cole in the first place, but that whole exchange shows they're both Barb's kids.

On that note, maybe they both just won't show up to her funeral.
 
I don’t understand why Barb decided to never tell Cole who his real father is. Not telling him when he was young was a shitty thing to do, but what really confuses me is why did she refuse to tell him who his father is after he was a full grown adult who moved out. Why not tell him then? Just to be a bitch? The only explanation I can possibly think of is, she just wanted to be a fucking bitch.
 
Shiversblood said:
I don’t understand why Barb decided to never tell Cole who his real father is. Not telling him when he was young was a shitty thing to do, but what really confuses me is why did she refuse to tell him who his father is after he was a full grown adult who moved out. Why not tell him then? Just to be a bitch? The only explanation I can possibly think of is, she just wanted to be a fucking bitch.
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Maybe because she didn’t really know who his daddy was... that and they might have been related. It is Virginia after all...
 
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