The Cole Smithey Thread

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White bubblegum said:
I don't know how he can live with a rich wife who pays for everything while staying at home and making crap content as a side hobby. What does he do all day? They don't have kids, right?
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I love how it is the accurate description of what classic Chris wanted to achieve in life, apart from having Crystal.
 
I wonder sometimes if it's a persona, his absolute textbook hipster dickishness. I know a lot of performers do that sort of thing, and he likely fancies himself something of a character, so that's not too far off. If it were anyone else, I'd probably write it off that way, but Barb seems to taint everything she touches.
 
PuckishRogue said:
I wonder sometimes if it's a persona, his absolute textbook hipster dickishness. I know a lot of performers do that sort of thing, and he likely fancies himself something of a character, so that's not too far off. If it were anyone else, I'd probably write it off that way, but Barb seems to taint everything she touches.
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If Cole were playing a character he would have realised it's not going over like 10 years ago and tried something else. Remember, he's been at this for so long that he managed to grandfather himself into the Rotten Tomatoes ratings.

The "World's Smartest Film Critic" tagline is obviously tongue-in-cheek but Cole is a bona fide hipster twat.
 
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drmccoy said:
Good points. I wonder about Bob sometimes. I like him, I can't help it. But I wonder what the hell happened. I wonder if it was Barb that drove his kids off and his willingness to play to her. Barb reminds me of John Wanye Gacy (yes, him but not the killing part). I'm reading a book about him and one thing that stands out among his neighbors and friends who didn't take to him is the word "no class". I imagine Barb to be like that. Putting on airs but having zero, and I mean zero, class when it came to those airs. Bob had some class. But I suspect he lost it the longer he was with Barb.

And yes, Cole does sound like a pissed off teen with that language. Bob must have done something that we'll never know about.
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Bob took him out too the "dream factory" and holed him something fierce.
 
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The next time Cole gives something a negative rating on Rotten Tomatoes, expect this tweet to come up as proof that he's a white supremacist.
 
ObeseScreamingBlackMan said:
I've always suspected Cole of having some crappy service industry job during the day.

And at night the Mrs. probably parks him behind the bar to serve drinks or has him doing something else for their place.
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The wife probably has Cole do office stuff at the bar during the day, but if she's smart enough to make a success out of the place then she's smart enough to not give him anything of consequence to do. Especially during business hours where he might interact with customers.
 
neural said:
Didn't it already happen with the Black Panther thing.

That was fucking magical :story:.
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I want a sustained war though. That was the prequel. I want Cole Smithey to be as hilariously hated by lolcows as us or some skeptic youtubers like Sargon that just send these people into frothing rages constantly.

I want someone to tweet something like "Ew. I'm seeing C*le Sm*th*y on my timeline again. Stop retweeting this fascist." completely unironically.
 
Feline Darkmage said:
I want a sustained war though. That was the prequel. I want Cole Smithey to be as hilariously hated by lolcows as us or some skeptic youtubers like Sargon that just send these people into frothing rages constantly.

I want someone to tweet something like "Ew. I'm seeing C*le Sm*th*y on my timeline again. Stop retweeting this fascist." completely unironically.
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Yeah that is a far more compelling vision lol.

C*le Sm*the*y :story:
 
Feline Darkmage said:
I want a sustained war though. That was the prequel. I want Cole Smithey to be as hilariously hated by lolcows as us or some skeptic youtubers like Sargon that just send these people into frothing rages constantly.

I want someone to tweet something like "Ew. I'm seeing C*le Sm*th*y on my timeline again. Stop retweeting this fascist." completely unironically.
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Cole is the perfect target for SJW vitriol. White, male, bald, old, comfortable living position, born in the South and spends most of his time gatekeeping media. All that's missing is a single isolated incident of him using the word "retarded" in a really old post somewhere, so someone can make a "callout" declaring that he's ableist and also probably a Nazi.
 
Xanax said:
Cole is the perfect target for SJW vitriol. White, male, bald, old, comfortable living position, born in the South and spends most of his time gatekeeping media. All that's missing is a single isolated incident of him using the word "exceptional" in a really old post somewhere, so someone can make a "callout" declaring that he's ableist and also probably a Nazi.
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Being so irrelevant that gatekeeping media is his job and he still can’t get anyone but us to care when he tweets a shitlord comment is just a triumph of the natural order.
 
Xanax said:
Paying $250 to meet Cole and demand that he drink Carlsberg
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This is a great point. If I’m buying, I’m going to run the drinks, I’ll be the one who walks the bar. He drinks Diet Pepsi all night if it’s on my dime. (Cocktails were about $8-19 last time I was in Manhattan, depends on where you are)
 
Chandler Cats said:
This is a great point. If I’m buying, I’m going to run the drinks, I’ll be the one who walks the bar. He drinks Diet Pepsi all night if it’s on my dime. (Cocktails were about $8-19 last time I was in Manhattan, depends on where you are)
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In theory, sure. In practice he'd probably throw a hissy fit and send you back to the bar for a double honey chocolate stout or whatever.
 
Xanax said:
In theory, sure. In practice he'd probably throw a hissy fit and send you back to the bar for a double honey chocolate stout or whatever.
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True, but he doesn’t specify who gets to drink the “craft beer” just, Drink craft beers with me ... okay, I’ll have an IPA and you’ll have a Shirley Temple, Cole ... after all, the lady’s payin’.
 
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