- Joined
- Dec 28, 2015
For a while there he was generating fucktons of salt on twitter, with almost no effort.
Dare I say, he was MORE relevant than OPL for a bit.
The Cole Smithey Thread
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For a while there he was generating fucktons of salt on twitter, with almost no effort.
Dare I say, he was MORE relevant than OPL for a bit.
- Joined
- Jan 9, 2018
He never left obscurity. I'm pretty sure the only time he comes up in Christory is when he expects Chris to get his genealogical information from Barb in exchange for a vote in that PSP contest.
People just find it funny to rip on hipsters. Cole is more a troll himself than a lolcow considering he uses his influence on Rotten Tomatoes solely to annoy people.
- Joined
- Apr 27, 2015
People like him need to take a trip to a place like Cambodia where there's real suffering and poverty to give him some perspective.
(Also, something about bragging that he knows how the niggers feel cold and the slum's got so much soul)
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2015
Cole is a little bit of both, to be honest.
If Cole were giving purposely contrarian reviews just to harvest salt from film nerds and other film critics, I'd actually find his trolling pretty damn funny. However, when he does it to drive people to his site so they can read his reviews of obscure and meaningless films, it's considerably less amusing.
And, really, anyone egotistical enough to to even consider auctioning off the "privilege" of spending an evening with him so the "winner" can buy him craft beers definitely has lolcow potential. The only problem is that Cole is smart enough to keep his private life off the internet.
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2016
Cole deserves as much shit as we can throw at him, unfortunately for us he is pretty dull and does not do enough to warrant a thread, if it was not for Chris no one would even give a shit about him.
- Joined
- Jan 9, 2018
Left out of what? No one here has said or done anything to him, besides talk about him and his film reviews that he makes public.
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2014
If you remove Chris from the equation, Cole boils down to a living caricature of the "hipster movie critic". He writes pretentious reviews that nobody really reads, funnels an inordinate amount of time into a YouTube show that gets double digit views on a good day, and nobody is really sure if he's quoting that "smartest critic in the world" thing as a tongue-in-cheek joke or if he actually believes it. Plus, he's got an ego inflated enough that he listed a "drink beer with me and talk about movies PS you pay for the beer" event on eBay. Multiple times.
Cole is still someone who would end up at the very least as a "person of interest". He'd be the type of lolcow that would have a very small following who kept up with him for shits and giggles. One of those people would probably post a thread about him here eventually and it would be one of those threads with only a little bit of amusing content that takes three years to reach 10 pages. His thread would probably get two major bumps in its lifetime which would be when he gave the first negative reviews to Toy Story 3 and Lady Bird on Rotten Tomatoes.
Point is, even on his own Cole would still have ended up here.
Cole is still someone who would end up at the very least as a "person of interest". He'd be the type of lolcow that would have a very small following who kept up with him for shits and giggles. One of those people would probably post a thread about him here eventually and it would be one of those threads with only a little bit of amusing content that takes three years to reach 10 pages. His thread would probably get two major bumps in its lifetime which would be when he gave the first negative reviews to Toy Story 3 and Lady Bird on Rotten Tomatoes.
Point is, even on his own Cole would still have ended up here.
ModeloEspecial
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2017
No one is trolling him, people are just laughing at him. And he deserves it.
- Joined
- Apr 27, 2015
Plus, I doubt trolling would yield anything funny.
He's not like (classic) Chris, who could be worked up into releasing a video of him screaming and flailing around like a tard.
Cole's funny because he's an obscure hipster douche no one's heard of that acts like hot shit.
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2018
The reviews suck, end of story.
I'd pay a buck for a night talking with him though. He probably has some dirt on Barb that even Chris hasn't been autistic enough to share yet.
I'd pay a buck for a night talking with him though. He probably has some dirt on Barb that even Chris hasn't been autistic enough to share yet.
- Joined
- Apr 27, 2015
He doesn't even like acknowledging that he's related to Chris or Barb.
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2018
He had that article about his childhood where Barb shot a gun and it almost killed him, so I think he could be persuaded if it meant he'd get something out of it. Also, isn't he begging for money now? The guy would clean up if he wrote a book or let someone pick his brain to write a book on the Weston family.
- Joined
- Jan 9, 2018
I feel like the entire night would be very much on his terms, he wouldn't say a word about Chris or Barb because he refuses to acknowledge them publicly. Which seems fair enough to me, it would be kinda rude to start asking about childhood stuff he wants to distance himself from when the agreement was just that he shows up and talks about films.
Now that I think about it, you actually get a way better deal with a paid Chris video because you pay Chris once and you can choose what you get. People who buy the are probably satisfied with them even if the wider Chris community doesn't get anything from it. With Cole you pay an initial fee for his time, and then you pay more throughout the night for him to get tanked on craft beers and go on about French arthouse films. And he takes himself way too seriously, so you know he'd veto half the topics you bring up and steer the conversation towards what he likes. Meanwhile a night with Chris at a bar would probably sell to some random ween for enough money to fix Barb's teeth.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
Okay, how about this film? [shows him 'documentary' about Chris]
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2018
Fuck that. Cole is a douche and deserves to be mocked and laughed at for the pretentious hipster that he is.
Also how do we even know if the abuse accusations are even true? I'm not saying Barb is mother of the year but Cole seems like a drama queen.
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- Joined
- May 25, 2013
You know things are going slow with Chris when this thread is on top of the feed.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
Cole is a true son of his mother.
COLE JERKS OFF PIGS. SHE GETS DOWN ON HER KNEES AND CRAWLS THROUGH THE PIGPISS MUD SLOP AND SNUGGLES UP TO THE PIG, HER FINGERS TRACING ALONG IT’S BELLY UNTIL SHE FINDS IT’S COCK. SHE BEGINS TUGGING AND STROKING AS HER TWAT MOISTENS, HER BREASTS SWELLING AND HER NIPPLES BEGIN TO STICK OUT LIKE ERASERS ON A FRESH #2 PENCIL. SHE GRUNTS WITH SATISFACTION AS THE PIG BEGINS EAGERLY THRUSTING INTO HER HAND, HER GRIP NOW TIGHTENING TO MAINTAIN CONTROL OF THE PIG’S GREASY CORKSCREW COCK. SHE LOWERS HER HEAD TO WATCH THE COCK WORK IN HER HAND, GROANS WITH SATISFACTION AND BEGINS WORKING HER CLIT WITH HER OTHER MUDDY HAND, HER HIPS GYRATING WITH THE RHYTHM OF THE PIG’S THRUSTING. “OH FUCKING JESUS GOD YES..” SHE GASPS. SHE CHANGES POSITIONS, STILL MAINTAINING CONTROL OF THE FEVERISHLY THRUSTING COCK AS THE PIG’S SQUEALING INTENSIFIES. SHE LEANS FORWARD AND WITH HER LIPS ALMOST TOUCHING THE PIG’S EAR, SHE WHISPERS COLE'S NAME AND BEGINS TO SHUDDER. SHE TURNS HER ATTENTION AGAIN TO THE PIGS SWOLLEN MEMBER ROCKING IN HER HAND. SHE PRESSES IT BETWEEN HER HAND AND HERFACE, THE PIG THRUSTING IT AGAINST HER CHEEKS AS SHE DROOLS. WITH A MASSIVE GRUNT AND A HIGHPITCHED SQUEAL, THE PIG’S BALLS EXPLODE, BEGINNING A MASSIVE SHOWER OF HOT, SOUR PIG JIZZ. COLE CUPS ONE HAND UNDER THEFOUNTAIN OF STEAMING GENETIC MATERIAL GATHERING IT IN HER HAND AS THE THRUSTING COMES TO AN END. THE PIG SHUDDERS AND BEGINS TO WALK TO THE TROUGH OF SLOP IN THE CORNER OF IT’S PEN, BUT COLE TACKLES IT TO THE GROUND. SHE LIFTS IT’S TAIL AND SMEARS THE HANDFUL OF PIG LOAD INTO THE PIG’S OWN FETID BUTTHOLE,TURNING FLAKES OF CRUSTY PIG SHIT INTO A PIGSHIT-PIGJIZZ MUD SLOP ON THE PIGS ASS. NOW SHE TILTS HER HEAD TO THE SKY AND SCREAMS CHRIS'S FULL NAME, NOT ONCE, NOT TWICE, BUT THREE TIMES. SHE SLAMS HER FACE FULL FORCE INTO THE PIG’S BUTTHOLE AND IT’S WREATH OF SHITSEMEN PUDDING, HER TONGUE MACHINE GUN FLICKING THE RIM AND THEN BURYING ITSELF TO THE HILT INSIDE THE PIG’S HOT COLON. COLE WORKS HER TONGUE AROUND THE INSIDE OF THE PIGS ASS, ANDTHEN AS A FEW INCOHERENT SYLLABLES ESCAPED HER NOW BROWN LIPS, SPURTS OF FEMALE EJACULATE SPURT FROM HER PULSATING CUNT. EXHAUSTED, SHE COLLAPSES IN THE MUD, ROLLS OVER ONTO HER BACK, AND LIGHTS A CIGARETTE. SHE TAKES ONE LONGDRAG, LOOKS AGAIN TO THE SKY,AND SPEAKS HER NAME ONE LASTTIME BEFORE SHE DRIFTS OFF TOSLEEP. THAT’S COLE. COLE DOES THAT.