The Cole Smithey Thread

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I've never actually watched one of Cole's videos but from what I've read he reminds me of that fedora kid who is in every other cringe compilation talking about how he hates everybody and would build a house with dead bodies in the event of a zombie apocalypse
 
Marvin said:
Highly optimistic. Chris would sell anything that isn't nailed down.
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I don't know. He might try to sell some of the smaller stuff, but some of the large items though? Does he even have a truck or a vehicle that can carry a lot of that crap? I suppose he could get a rental truck, but then it begs the question: Given his chronic laziness, would he be willing to go through the laborious task of picking up all that crap and hauling it out? Even if he did try to start cleaning the house, I get the feeling he'll give up quarter of the way through.
 
Sanae is a slut said:
I don't know. He might try to sell some of the smaller stuff, but some of the large items though? Does he even have a truck or a vehicle that can carry a lot of that crap? I suppose he could get a rental truck, but then it begs the question: Given his chronic laziness, would he be willing to go through the laborious task of picking up all that crap and hauling it out? Even if he did try to start cleaning the house, I get the feeling he'll give up quarter of the way through.
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He wouldn't lift a finger. He'd just make a bunch of craigslist ads and call it done.

(Well, until he starts getting more desperate for money.)
 
Marvin said:
The blow-up doll video is specifically an example of something Chris doesn't care about.
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The real question is if Cole is ignorant and happy too.
We all know he calls himself the "worlds smartest film critic" and holds ebay auctions to hang out with him, but under the surface is this all compensation for him knowing he's a pretentious hipster douche in his 50s reviewing videos while getting less views than his autistic manchild half brother or is he diluted to the core and believes he's on par with Ebert?
 
Manly-Chicken said:
The real question is if Cole is ignorant and happy too.
We all know he calls himself the "worlds smartest film critic" and holds ebay auctions to hang out with him, but under the surface is this all compensation for him knowing he's a pretentious hipster douche in his 50s reviewing videos while getting less views than his autistic manchild half brother or is he diluted to the core and believes he's on par with Ebert?
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I think Chris' beliefs about the world run a lot deeper. And not just compared to Cole, but compared to any neurotypical person of normal intelligence.

I think Cole probably believes he's super sophisticated and that he has something to offer the world, but he's being ignored. He probably thinks Ebert is babby's first film critic.
 
Marvin said:
The blow-up doll video is specifically an example of something Chris doesn't care about.

As a measurement of happiness, I don't think it should be dismissed that easily. The only reason people try to dismiss it is because normal people don't maintain delusions like that, so no one treats it as a real phenomenon. Chris is rare, but we've found an example where someone really is stupid enough to sustain their stupid fantasies indefinitely.

I think that's worth commenting on.

Now, of course, Chris will be positively miserable when he's impoverished, post Barb.
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I agree with the general principle that it isn't fair to say that Chris must me miserable because x and y have happened to him, and most of us would be devastated by that.

But do Chris' aspirations make him happier? In some ways they do, because he can live in a pleasant fantasy about the future. In other ways, he seems to constantly feel screwed by not getting it. Then again, he just keeps on dreaming, so it keeps working. It certainly makes him a much more mercurial character than he would be if he had a more realistic view of the world and his role in it.

As to Cole's happiness, do we really know how much his lack of success bothers him? I am sure he wishes his reviews were more respected, but does it gnaw at his psyche, or can he shrug it off and enjoy the nicer parts of his life?

Overall, it is really difficult to compare "happiness" across people. Our only reference points are other emotions we have had, not the emotions other people have had. I don't know if there is really anything meaningful we can say about whether Chris is "happier" than Cole.



Marvin said:
He wouldn't lift a finger. He'd just make a bunch of craigslist ads and call it done.

(Well, until he starts getting more desperate for money.)
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That's my guess. I doubt Chris would have an attachment to much of the hoard, but cleaning it up is a monumental task that would be daunting for anyone to tackle on their own and expensive to outsource.

He may pick at it and list a few things. I could also see him trying something ridiculous like posting an ad for $100,000 for a house full of treasures..
 
timtommy said:
I agree with the general principle that it isn't fair to say that Chris must me miserable because x and y have happened to him, and most of us would be devastated by that.
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I meant failure in the more general sense. Like some random normal average person reads about Chris and Cole, they'll obviously say Chris is a bigger failure.
IDK if it's even fair to say who is happier because Chris has a super huge autistic advantage. Not only is he able to stay a manchild and get free money, he has an ego that is incapable of viewing himself as anything other than a worldwide celebrity sex god even if it's constantly proven otherwise.
 
I dunno I see Cole as only interesting in the Chris story libe . By himself he's just..annoying, but not lolcow material. But in the grand christory he has his place and provides some outside insight into the hoard. I am curious if when barb kicks it if Chris tries to reach out to cole. He really has no one else besides him, but I wouldn't be surprised if they've only met a handful of times
 
timtommy said:
As to Cole's happiness, do we really know how much his lack of success bothers him? I am sure he wishes his reviews were more respected, but does it gnaw at his psyche, or can he shrug it off and enjoy the nicer parts of his life?
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I don't see how someone who is egomaniacal and narcissistic enough to call himself "The Smartest Film Critic in the World" unironically is also unaffected by the fact he's also a total failure.
 
Marvin said:
He wouldn't lift a finger. He'd just make a bunch of craigslist ads and call it done.

(Well, until he starts getting more desperate for money.)
Click to expand...

timtommy said:
I agree with the general principle that it isn't fair to say that Chris must me miserable because x and y have happened to him, and most of us would be devastated by that.

But do Chris' aspirations make him happier? In some ways they do, because he can live in a pleasant fantasy about the future. In other ways, he seems to constantly feel screwed by not getting it. Then again, he just keeps on dreaming, so it keeps working. It certainly makes him a much more mercurial character than he would be if he had a more realistic view of the world and his role in it.

As to Cole's happiness, do we really know how much his lack of success bothers him? I am sure he wishes his reviews were more respected, but does it gnaw at his psyche, or can he shrug it off and enjoy the nicer parts of his life?

Overall, it is really difficult to compare "happiness" across people. Our only reference points are other emotions we have had, not the emotions other people have had. I don't know if there is really anything meaningful we can say about whether Chris is "happier" than Cole.





That's my guess. I doubt Chris would have an attachment to much of the hoard, but cleaning it up is a monumental task that would be daunting for anyone to tackle on their own and expensive to outsource.

He may pick at it and list a few things. I could also see him trying something ridiculous like posting an ad for $100,000 for a house full of treasures..
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Whatever he sells he would probably say come pick it up. He could pay to ship it but it would be expensive. I wonder if any weens would be interested in anything in that house?
 
Subconcious Offense said:
By actually believing his own lies, as egomaniacs and narcissists are prone to do.
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There's believing your lies in general and then there's very specific shit like your videos getting less views than you have fingers and your auctions to sell your company to retards failing to meet their minimums. One can be ignored.

DragoonSierra said:
Whatever he sells he would probably say come pick it up. He could pay to ship it but it would be expensive. I wonder if any I HAVE AUTISMs would be interested in anything in that house?
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If you got something large, you could even go in with a bunch of people to carry it out. One of them could have a hidden camera or some shit.
 
Jewelsmakerguy said:
The only question is, which of them is the bigger failure? The one who still lives with mama, or the one who actually has a "life"?
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Have to say it's Chris.

Cole is pretty fake, but at least he made the effort to seek out things like punk rock, jazz, arthouse films, and a career (such as it is) as a film critic instead of clinging onto LEGO and video games like his half-brother did. If you didn't know who Cole was, you might even think that he's a genuine hipster if you ever met him, or read one of his movie reviews.

Also, Cole might be smart enough not to let strangers manipulate him into making videos where he either fucks blow up dolls, or pitches a fit because somebody kept calling him by the wrong name.
 
Muncie Anderson said:
If you didn't know who Cole was, you might even think that he's a genuine hipster if you ever met him, or read one of his movie reviews.
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A hipster is a useless idiot whose only skill is being ironic about stuff and having liked stuff you never heard of, so Cole probably counts as a "genuine" hipster. Not that that's something you'd want to be, as it is like being a "genuine" douchebag.
 
timtommy said:
As to Cole's happiness, do we really know how much his lack of success bothers him? I am sure he wishes his reviews were more respected, but does it gnaw at his psyche, or can he shrug it off and enjoy the nicer parts of his life? .
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Cole's making a living sitting on his ass watching movies and he's managed to get away from his batshit crazy family. I feel like he's doing alright. Maybe he does wish his views on films were more...well, "loved", but he also seems totally up his own ass anyway so I doubt that bothers him.

I'm not gonna condescend to know what Cole's like in person, but he seems like he's got his shit more or less together, all things considered.

Darndirty said:
I dunno I see Cole as only interesting in the Chris story libe . By himself he's just..annoying, but not lolcow material. But in the grand christory he has his place and provides some outside insight into the hoard. I am curious if when barb kicks it if Chris tries to reach out to cole. He really has no one else besides him, but I wouldn't be surprised if they've only met a handful of times
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He's tried recently on some level. Barb's obviously not doing well and Chris probably knows he's gonna need Cole back in his life, if only to help take care of his mother (though more likely to help take care of him, let's be honest).

Cole for his part is wisely trying to avoid the surreal, nightmarish, hellscape that is his brother's life and seems to have cut off contact. I mean, there's no way in hell that Cole isn't aware of Chris's internet shenanigans. Be honest, who the fuck would want to get sucked into that? Cole had the poor luck of being related to Chris, other than that he's staying the fuck away for what should be obvious reasons.

That and he just kinda hates his family in general.
 
AnOminous said:
A hipster is a useless idiot whose only skill is being ironic about stuff and having liked stuff you never heard of, so Cole probably counts as a "genuine" hipster. Not that that's something you'd want to be, as it is like being a "genuine" douchebag.
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AnOminous said:
Cole Smithey is the kind of gigantic faggot who blows Ted Rall.
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I gotta ask... do you actually have this much animosity towards Cole or is it more because of the company he keeps?
 
sonichuguidesme2 said:
I gotta ask... do you actually have this much animosity towards Cole or is it more because of the company he keeps?
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It's not like he shot my dog or something, but he has a really, really punchable face, and I watched a couple of his videos and he comes across as an enormous douchebag, then I find out he's also best buddies with one of the biggest pricks on the face of the planet, Ted Rall, and I just like him even less. He's the kind of cow who starts slow, but grows on you.
 
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