The Cole Smithey Thread

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Xerxes IX said:
Does he realize Deadpool has been bisexual for a few years now? (okay technically pansexual, but the distinction between that and bisexual only really comes up if you believe in special snowflake genders)
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Cole is just jelly because he wanted to be the only unique person who has sex with pans.
 
Mr Zero said:
Can someone explain all the Cole hate for me?
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Butta Face Lopez said:
Anyone who writes the way he does is worthy of contempt
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This.

Aside from his involvement with Chris, which is... ostensibly... why he's been graced with this thread here, we all know a "Cole" in our lives. We all know someone who's a completely pretentious "movie buff" who's seen Citizen Kane, Metropolis, and Casablanca and thinks they know everything about anything film-related. Cole is whom we've circled around to laugh at as a proxy for everyone like him; had it not been for Chris, Cole's place would be occupied with some other arrogant not-quite-a-lolcow-but-close-enough person.

That said, I clicked through the movies Cole has rated the lowest on Rotten Tomatoes. This came up:

Oo6JZzq.jpg


There are no "Full Review" links associated with these reviews, which is upsetting. I'd love to read about the made-up analogues to Nazi Germany in Barney's Great fucking Adventure or how the Olsen twins represent everything wrong with the middle class struggle in America.
 
Super Collie said:
Aside from his involvement with Chris, which is... ostensibly... why he's been graced with this thread here, we all know a "Cole" in our lives. We all know someone who's a completely pretentious "movie buff" who's seen Citizen Kane, Metropolis, and Casablanca and thinks they know everything about anything film-related.
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You're underselling it. Cole isn't awful because he cites dumb movie things, he's awful because he's pretentious about his contrarianism.

A good critic can tell you why a Kurosawa movie is important, a bad one will try to sell you on why he's a better critic than anyone else for having never seen it. Guess which type Cole is?
 
AnOminous said:
Not that I haven't explained repeatedly at nauseating length all the reasons I loathe Cole, but just being friends with Ted Rall is enough to make him a complete piece of shit.
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If Cole feels the need to associate with a shitty artist who makes ugly, unappealing work, he should just respond to his brother's messages.
 
Bringing this up because I had a random question about Cole

We have a pretty good idea that Cole will not go to the funeral of Barb. But, if in the unlikely event Chris dies in the near future, is it possible Cole will boycott the funeral of his half-brother?
 
Hortator said:
Bringing this up because I had a random question about Cole

We have a pretty good idea that Cole will not go to the funeral of Barb. But, if in the unlikely event Chris dies in the near future, is it possible Cole will boycott the funeral of his half-brother?
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lol he ain't goin
 
Hortator said:
Bringing this up because I had a random question about Cole

We have a pretty good idea that Cole will not go to the funeral of Barb. But, if in the unlikely event Chris dies in the near future, is it possible Cole will boycott the funeral of his half-brother?
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Boycotting would be an effort on his part and he has zero interest investing in Chris in any way. So no.
 
You think Cole would really skip out on the biggest gathering of documentary filmmakers Virginia's ever seen? :julay:
 
Hortator said:
Bringing this up because I had a random question about Cole

We have a pretty good idea that Cole will not go to the funeral of Barb. But, if in the unlikely event Chris dies in the near future, is it possible Cole will boycott the funeral of his half-brother?
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Chris isn't dying and even if he was, Cole does not and never did think of Chris as a stepbrother. He was 19 when Chris was born and long gone while he was growing up. To Cole, Chris is nothing.
 
The Real Josh Smith said:
Chris isn't dying and even if he was, Cole does not and never did think of Chris as a stepbrother. He was 19 when Chris was born and long gone while he was growing up. To Cole, Chris is nothing.
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And Cole is only anything to Chris because Cole has money that Chris wants. If Cole was as broke as Chris, you would't hear anything about old Cole from his halftranshalfsister. Chris wouldn't be sharing his donations with Cole.
Chris likes to manipulate people, but isnt very good at it.
 
idosometimes said:
And Cole is only anything to Chris because Cole has money that Chris wants. If Cole was as broke as Chris, you would't hear anything about old Cole from his halftranshalfsister. Chris wouldn't be sharing his donations with Cole.
Chris likes to manipulate people, but isnt very good at it.
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How much money does Cole even make? His channel rarely breaks 100 views per video and he is not affiliated with any network so that means he does not see a cent from Youtube, his wife may have money but that would make Cole a house husband with an allowance.
 
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