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What the hell would Freddy even do?
Scream at the screen and make five sequels in under a year.

Speaking of stupid suggestions, people really want Krystal from Star Fox in Smash, a character so forgotten that even the series she's from has let her slip their minds and dropped her from the most recent mainline game.

Well, they got their wish.

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https://twitter.com/NintendoVS/status/1014569697126371329

Enjoy your assist trophy, nerds.

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Aaand of course there's a stupid Change.org petition.

I understand how stressful it is to develop any Super Smash Bros. game. However, adding Krystal into the game as an assist trophy was not the right decision to make.

Krystal was the highest voted female character to join Super Smash Bros. Brawl as a new fighter but she didn't make it in. Her votes to join Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo 3DS and Super Smash Bros. for Wii U were not as high as they were in Brawl but they were still consistently very high. In a ballot held in Japan, she was among the top ten most wanted newcomers for the Nintendo 3DS and Wii U installments. She still didn't make it in. In the upcoming Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, Krystal was confirmed to be an assist trophy. Like millions of other people, Krystal is still my most wanted new fighter for Super Smash Bros. after roughly fifteen years. Like millions of people, I am very disappointed and hurt in the heart with what was done to her.

Tossing her unique and new fighter potential away like that is a massive disservice to both Krystal and her millions of fans. Even in the Lylat Cruise stage, one of Fox's taunt conversations ends with Peppy, Slippy and Krystal concluding that out of the three of them, Krystal would be the best choice for a newcomer.

Making Krystal both an assist trophy and a new fighter isn't farfetched. Riki from Xenoblade Chronicles is already an assist trophy as well as a part of Shulk's Final Smash. In Pokkén Tournament DX, Croagunk is a Support Pokémon and a playable fighter. It is time to take the next step. Please make Krystal a playable fighter and not only an assist trophy!

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The worst thing is that this is even more idiotic than the demand for Waluigi, because at least you're unsure if the people clamoring for Waluigi are just being ironic or not. But these people are dead serious in their devotion.
 
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Scream at the screen and make five sequels in under a year.

Speaking of stupid suggestions, people really want Krystal from Star Fox in Smash, a character so forgotten that even the series she's from has let her slip their minds and dropped her from the most recent mainline game.

Well, they got their wish.

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https://twitter.com/NintendoVS/status/1014569697126371329

Enjoy your assist trophy, nerds.

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Aaand of course there's a stupid Change.org petition.



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The worst thing is that this is even more idiotic than the demand for Waluigi, because at least you're unsure if the people clamoring for Waluigi are just being ironic or not. But these people are dead serious in their devotion.
I would stay Waluigi is worse, simply because they have absolutely nothing to work with.
 
This is why the people sending Sakurai death threats for not putting Waluigi in the game are re-tarded as fuck. Even if he gave in to their demands and made him playable, they would have just found something else to bitch and whine about.
 
Back when Brawl released, one of the big "name" players on Smashboards, one of the biggest SSBM communities, became an overnight laughingstock when, in response to the revelation that Zero Suit Samus would be available via a Final Smash, went on to send Sakurai death threats. That she was available via a controller code when choosing characters is just icing atop the shit sundae.

This shit never changes. The competitive melee community has always been a fucking dumpster fire and by proxy, all competitive Smash communities also shall be.

I remember the fucking pants-shitting amount of rage they'd show when anyone pointed out the obvious fucking logic holes in their rulesets (such as how infinite combos are banned, but fucking chaingrabbing isn't, or how stalling in general is banned, but movement exploits that do the same thing aren't). There comes a point where you realize that the "ban 80% of the stages and all items" meta lends itself to a game where they really aren't playing the same game as everyone else and fosters a game environment where only a few chars are viable.

Small wonder why Sakurai tormented these faggots endlessly with jokes like "Real Men Use Items" and the official Nintendo tourneys that banned absolutely nothing.
 
Back when Brawl released, one of the big "name" players on Smashboards, one of the biggest SSBM communities, became an overnight laughingstock when, in response to the revelation that Zero Suit Samus would be available via a Final Smash, went on to send Sakurai death threats. That she was available via a controller code when choosing characters is just icing atop the shit sundae.

This shit never changes. The competitive melee community has always been a fucking dumpster fire and by proxy, all competitive Smash communities also shall be.

I remember the fucking pants-shitting amount of rage they'd show when anyone pointed out the obvious fucking logic holes in their rulesets (such as how infinite combos are banned, but fucking chaingrabbing isn't, or how stalling in general is banned, but movement exploits that do the same thing aren't). There comes a point where you realize that the "ban 80% of the stages and all items" meta lends itself to a game where they really aren't playing the same game as everyone else and fosters a game environment where only a few chars are viable.

Small wonder why Sakurai tormented these faggots endlessly with jokes like "Real Men Use Items" and the official Nintendo tourneys that banned absolutely nothing.
Sakurai is the community's biggest troll and I love him for it.
 
Scream at the screen and make five sequels in under a year.

Speaking of stupid suggestions, people really want Krystal from Star Fox in Smash, a character so forgotten that even the series she's from has let her slip their minds and dropped her from the most recent mainline game.

Well, they got their wish.

View attachment 489450

https://twitter.com/NintendoVS/status/1014569697126371329

Enjoy your assist trophy, nerds.

View attachment 489455

View attachment 489456

View attachment 489458

View attachment 489460

View attachment 489461

View attachment 489463

Aaand of course there's a stupid Change.org petition.



View attachment 489465

View attachment 489470

The worst thing is that this is even more idiotic than the demand for Waluigi, because at least you're unsure if the people clamoring for Waluigi are just being ironic or not. But these people are dead serious in their devotion.

They clearly just wanna fap to furry tits.
 
There comes a point where you realize that the "ban 80% of the stages and all items" meta lends itself to a game where they really aren't playing the same game as everyone else and fosters a game environment where only a few chars are viable.
I remember discovering the tier lists for the games not too long ago and being absolutely baffled at them. I'm a Donkey Kong main in just about every game, and I found out he was a low-tier character. It didn't make much sense to me; I can dominate most of my friends with DK, even people who are playing the supposed higher-tier characters. Hell, I'll go as far as say that I never got Fox's appeal; I've never been able to use him effectively.

I came to realize that the Smash community is extremely autistic when it comes to how fighters in the games function, when it really doesn't matter for a game like Super Smash Bros, at least not casually. Thing is, Smash Bros is a pretty casual fighting game, and this is coming from a big fan of the games. You don't have to know the technical stuff to be good against your friends, unlike say, Street Fighter where the game is all about learning how it works. When you strip the game down like the way tournaments do, then it does become more technical, but that simply isn't the way the game was meant to be played.

It really is fascinating looking at the sheer divide between casual and professional play for Super Smash Bros.
 
Back when Brawl released, one of the big "name" players on Smashboards, one of the biggest SSBM communities, became an overnight laughingstock when, in response to the revelation that Zero Suit Samus would be available via a Final Smash, went on to send Sakurai death threats. That she was available via a controller code when choosing characters is just icing atop the shit sundae.

This shit never changes. The competitive melee community has always been a fucking dumpster fire and by proxy, all competitive Smash communities also shall be.

I remember the fucking pants-shitting amount of rage they'd show when anyone pointed out the obvious fucking logic holes in their rulesets (such as how infinite combos are banned, but fucking chaingrabbing isn't, or how stalling in general is banned, but movement exploits that do the same thing aren't). There comes a point where you realize that the "ban 80% of the stages and all items" meta lends itself to a game where they really aren't playing the same game as everyone else and fosters a game environment where only a few chars are viable.

Small wonder why Sakurai tormented these faggots endlessly with jokes like "Real Men Use Items" and the official Nintendo tourneys that banned absolutely nothing.

Are you referring to Dylan Tnga?

If so, holy shit, did you just take me back. This guy was the fucking queen of Smash tourney spergs during the Melee-to-Brawl transitional era, talking about how everyone who didn't play his way were scrubs and how much of a kid's game Brawl was...not even waiting for the game to come out to make such a claim. He even fucked up his hand from playing too much tournaments. Tnga, along with Spax3, were pretty much the OG lolcows in my eyes.

Also, check out this faggot's Smash videos. Here's just a couple of them:



A shitty-ass camcorder recording, playing hardly anywhere else besides Final Destination, annoying clickety-clacks in the background (before the fight even starts, to boot), and the bruised ego of someone who takes a children's party game waaaay too seriously? If it weren't for how old these videos are, you'd think this is a parody of Smash tourneyfags, but that's not the case here.

And lol he disabled the comments what a pussy.
 
I remember discovering the tier lists for the games not too long ago and being absolutely baffled at them. I'm a Donkey Kong main in just about every game, and I found out he was a low-tier character. It didn't make much sense to me; I can dominate most of my friends with DK, even people who are playing the supposed higher-tier characters. Hell, I'll go as far as say that I never got Fox's appeal; I've never been able to use him effectively.

I came to realize that the Smash community is extremely autistic when it comes to how fighters in the games function, when it really doesn't matter for a game like Super Smash Bros, at least not casually. Thing is, Smash Bros is a pretty casual fighting game, and this is coming from a big fan of the games. You don't have to know the technical stuff to be good against your friends, unlike say, Street Fighter where the game is all about learning how it works. When you strip the game down like the way tournaments do, then it does become more technical, but that simply isn't the way the game was meant to be played.

It really is fascinating looking at the sheer divide between casual and professional play for Super Smash Bros.

Fox is a pretty degenerate character mostly because reflector/shine is absurd. It comes out frame 1 and makes him invincible, stalls in the air, has set knockback and you can jump cancel. In other words, it's supersafe and lets you get out of combos you shouldn't, it sets up enemies for his OP upsmash, it spikes anyone trying to recover, it can be spammed for shield pressure etc. But this stuff is so hard to pulloff that it only matters in a super competitive enviroment. Casual players generally won't like melee fox because he falls too fast.

The divide and elitism in Smash is especially stupid because Sakurai never intended Smash to be competitive. He regreted Melee skill requirement so much that he made Brawl slow as possible and added RNG tripping. He even said that if you want a real fighting game you should play Virtua Fighter.

I kinda feel sorry for him, he just wants to make a fun casual game to play with family and friends but the fans bash him for not making the same game he made 17 years ago.
 
Fox is a pretty degenerate character mostly because reflector/shine is absurd. It comes out frame 1 and makes him invincible, stalls in the air, has set knockback and you can jump cancel. In other words, it's supersafe and lets you get out of combos you shouldn't, it sets up enemies for his OP upsmash, it spikes anyone trying to recover, it can be spammed for shield pressure etc. But this stuff is so hard to pulloff that it only matters in a super competitive enviroment. Casual players generally won't like melee fox because he falls too fast.

The divide and elitism in Smash is especially stupid because Sakurai never intended Smash to be competitive. He regreted Melee skill requirement so much that he made Brawl slow as possible and added RNG tripping. He even said that if you want a real fighting game you should play Virtua Fighter.

I kinda feel sorry for him, he just wants to make a fun casual game to play with family and friends but the fans bash him for not making the same game he made 17 years ago.
I like playing as all characters, playing on all stages, and with all items on because it's fun.
I'm convince the real reason these spergs hate assist trophies so much is because they never think about playing the game for fun, the way it was meant to be played.
The FGC was a mistake.
 
I remember discovering the tier lists for the games not too long ago and being absolutely baffled at them. I'm a Donkey Kong main in just about every game, and I found out he was a low-tier character. It didn't make much sense to me; I can dominate most of my friends with DK, even people who are playing the supposed higher-tier characters. Hell, I'll go as far as say that I never got Fox's appeal; I've never been able to use him effectively.

I came to realize that the Smash community is extremely autistic when it comes to how fighters in the games function, when it really doesn't matter for a game like Super Smash Bros, at least not casually. Thing is, Smash Bros is a pretty casual fighting game, and this is coming from a big fan of the games. You don't have to know the technical stuff to be good against your friends, unlike say, Street Fighter where the game is all about learning how it works. When you strip the game down like the way tournaments do, then it does become more technical, but that simply isn't the way the game was meant to be played.

It really is fascinating looking at the sheer divide between casual and professional play for Super Smash Bros.

I played Dedede in Brawl because fuck you, I'm using the angry screaming penguin. And the only thing more dangerous than an angry screaming penguin is an angry screaming penguin backed up in a team game by a competent DK player. Let all who would stand in the way of their brute force beware.

But all of that is dressing around what the core issue of the Competitive community is: it's undermined by the same logic holes as most competitive communities. Practically every big problem has a workaround, but the pros don't like it so it must be banned. This is how you wind up with fucking Wavedashing allowed but Meta-Knight - an entire character with glaring fucking vulnerabilities - was fucking banned, a move that ultimately split the competitive smash community and ultimately wound up with him unbanned later.

Key to why the competitive community gets its collective Autism in a dander is the fact that the competitive community sticks to the same tiny pool of stages, removes items, and refuses to allow any variance from this. Because of this, characters who benefit disproportionately from this level of Variance (read: most of them) can't compete with the fucking space animals and projectile whores. Ultimately it makes Smash boil down to a top-5 game (where no one outside the top tiers gets used) and that fucking sucks.
 
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I'll always remember the sheer amount of autism and rageposting over whether or not to ban Ice Climbers when wobbling was discovered, removing yet another character from the tiny pool of Acceptable Competitive Fighters (TM).

Thinking about the old character meta, my favorite dumb strategy in Melee came from how the game handles characters suiciding when they're grabbing someone else - Kirby in particular. Because of how memory allocation works, the game needs to completely despawn everything Kirby's holding or grabbing or inhaling before it finishes despawning him. This means you can inhale someone when you both have one stock remaining, suicide, and be counted as the winner since they hit zero stock before you did. This is the ultimate bad manners move and never fails to be funny as hell if you can pull it off.
 
Let's move away from the frustrating and into the amusingly idiotic. Apparently the longest piece of fiction is a 3.5 million word fanfiction of Smash Brothers, as written by a 21-year-old college junior. It's six times the length of War and Peace. There are writers with conditions like bipolar disorder such as Mark Twain or those who are active users of cocaine who can't muster this level of obsessive motivation to write as much as this guy. And it's all utter trash with all the quality of a fanfiction writer but with the quantity of a printing press.

He's been writing since Brawl's released in...2008, I think. So he's been writing this garbage since he was 11. He also states he hasn't read any novels past his required high school reading, and his main influences are scenarios he acts out while playing the game. That should give you an idea of how engrossing his writing is.

The author himself is god's little verbose gift to the world, where even his profile page is ten thousand words long. According to this Buzzfeed interview (I know, I know), they sent him 12 incredibly simple questions and his response was over 2,000 words long. It's worth reading because his responses are bewilderingly inane. For example, here's a question regarding if he's ever considered working for a publisher, and somehow he turns the topic towards a Nintendo-themed anime:

Would you ever submit your work to an editor? More broadly, do you hope to ever turn this into, or write, a published book?

[...]I feel like a work like this would be better suited for animation. After coming so far into writing this, it gave me a somewhat hopeless dream of seeing a true Nintendo anime. What I seet[sic] would probably give the Pokémon anime a run for its money, but that's just my opinion. Because of how there are many characters, I'd have to cross a hell lot of hurdles from their creators to get permission to do an official adaptation.
 
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Amino is not safe.

Indies really have no chance, even if they did; it be everyone's favourite poster boy Shovel Knight.

Let's move away from the frustrating and into the amusingly idiotic. Apparently the longest piece of fiction is a 3.5 million word fanfiction of Smash Brothers, as written by a 21-year-old college junior. It's six times the length of War and Peace. There are writers with conditions like bipolar disorder such as Mark Twain or those who are active users of cocaine who can't muster this level of obsessive motivation to write as much as this guy. And it's all utter trash with all the quality of a fanfiction writer but with the quantity of a printing press.

He's been writing since Brawl's released in...2008, I think. So he's been writing this garbage since he was 11. He also states he hasn't read any novels past his required high school reading, and his main influences are scenarios he acts out while playing the game. That should give you an idea of how engrossing his writing is.

The author himself is god's little verbose gift to the world, where even his profile page is ten thousand words long. According to this Buzzfeed interview (I know, I know), they sent him 12 incredibly simple questions and his response was over 2,000 words long. It's worth reading because his responses are bewilderingly inane. For example, here's a question regarding if he's ever considered working for a publisher, and somehow he turns the topic towards a Nintendo-themed anime:
I read like most of his fic, but it was extremely boring and banal. Good sleeping material.
 
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Indies really have no chance, even if they did; it be everyone's favourite poster boy Shovel Knight.
He's the only one who has a ghost of a chance. Shantae has had such a huge gap between the most recent games to her first entry, over a decade. Then you have Super Meat Boy, which you can't really make a moveset out of it. In theory, Steve from Minecraft is still indie, and has a chance only because of Microsoft's sudden new buddy buddy with Nintendo, but we all know that's not the Microsoft IP that we want in Smash Bros.

The only other indie character I would think that could stand a chance is, because of all technicalities, someone from Touhou, so maybe Reimu, only because of notoriety and notability. Touhou is still surprisingly big and being, mostly, made by one guy every single time, going strong for over 20 years from being just a simple Breakout clone to one of the most peculiar Shootem Up Bullet Hell games. Other than Western appeal/recognition, the fact that Touhou has no (official) games on Nintendo consoles hurts its chances a lot.
 
I swear I've never seen any appeal in Krystal. She looks totally out of place with the entirety of Star Fox, and the only attractives* she have is nothing more but a somewhat revealing outfit and the fact she was fox's girlfriend in the games.

*I ain't into the furry smut shit, plus she looks and feels kinda bland and boring in my opinion.
 
I swear I've never seen any appeal in Krystal. She looks totally out of place with the entirety of Star Fox, and the only attractives* she have is nothing more but a somewhat revealing outfit and the fact she was fox's girlfriend in the games.

*I ain't into the furry smut shit, plus she looks and feels kinda bland and boring in my opinion.
Personally I'd like to see Panther or Leon. Give us two Star Wolf pilots to balance it out.
But on the topic of Krystal, I'm fairly surprised they took the Assist Trophy inclusion very well, along with fans of Lyn.


Especially the fans of Lyn.
 
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